From a production standpoint, there were probably more misses than hits at this year’s Golden Globes. (Unsurprisingly, ratings were down.) As we’ve discussed, things like the GPS tracking of seated nominees and the banal voiceover commentary were annoying but innocuous. The greater crimes were not televising the Original Score category, cutting short the acceptance speech for Best Non-English Language Film, and essentially stopping the show for a UFC promo. But… the guests got good sushi! And I maintain that Nikki Glaser did a solid job hosting back-to-back years. She’s been the best host since the standard-setting Amy Poehler & Tiny Fey tenure, imo. As she did last year, Nikki visited The Howard Stern Show days after the awards to break down the experience, which included sharing a slew of jokes that didn’t make the final cut. Here are the jabs people dodged Sunday night:
Brad Pitt: Had the 62-year-old actor been present and nominated for his role in racing movie F1, Glaser said, she would have joked onstage, “When a man turns 60, he gets to play a racecar driver. Meanwhile, after 35, every role for a woman is a tired mom who hates her life.” She continued: “Brad, you were so good enough when I was almost convinced that you’ve driven yourself somewhere in the last 30 years. But Brad did a lot of his own driving in the movie. And Brad, I don’t want to embarrass you, but your blinker was on the whole time.”
Sean Penn: The comedian and her team came up with several jokes about Sean Penn, for example, but stuck to only one during the ceremony, about him looking like “a sexy leather handbag.” … The jokes she would have piled onto the One Battle After Another nominee, 65, included, “Sean Penn is nominated tonight. I’m assuming for best neck veins?” and “Two of the hardest working actors in Hollywood are here tonight: Sean Penn’s lower eyelids.”
Jonathan Bailey: Had Wicked: For Good star Jonathan Bailey attended the show, Glaser said she would have quipped, “Jonathan is the first openly gay man to be named the Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE magazine. And at first I was like, do we really need to say ‘openly’? And then I looked at a list of past winners and I was like, ‘Oh, yeah, we do.’”
Sydney Sweeney: If Christy star Sydney Sweeney had been in the Globes crowd, Glaser would have tried: “Tonight is a night of celebration but we can’t ignore that it’s a weird time in Hollywood. People just aren’t going to the theater to see things. If you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14.”
Julia Roberts: “This was the joke I had written about [Roberts] where I literally thought I was going to be tarred and feathered after the show,” she told Stern: “Julia Roberts is nominated for After the Hunt. I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who’s seen it.”
Trump: Glaser said she passed on a joke that comedy legend Steve Martin offered her, opting not to mock the recent renaming of the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C., by telling the awards show’s attendees they were enjoying an evening at the “Trump Beverly Hilton.” Explaining why it got the ax, she said, “It was like, you just don’t say that guy’s name right now. I just want to give it space.”
ICE: “I was gonna come in at some point and say, ‘I’m hearing from the bar that we’re out of ice. And you know what? We don’t really need ICE. And actually, I hate ICE. I’ve never even wanted ICE,’” Glaser told Stern, calling the joke too “trivial” to be worth keeping in.
I applaud Nikki! …because I agree that all of these jokes merited being axed. The easiest group to eliminate are the jokes directed towards people who aren’t there. Unless of course there’s a meaningful quip to make about why that person isn’t there. Otherwise, it just loses some potency to direct that kind of attention towards someone who isn’t in the room. But even if some of these celebs had been there, I still think these jokes weren’t good enough or appropriate. The “openly” bit about Sexiest Man Alive kind of flirts with homophobia, and Jonathan Bailey doesn’t deserve to be put in the middle of that, even if the punchline wasn’t really aimed at Bailey but at past SMAs. Whereas with Sean Penn, “sexy leather handbag” was so good! The back ups just don’t compare. And I appreciate that Nikki didn’t “say that guy’s name,” because it was nice to have the break. As for the ICE set up, I actually think it was well composed. I just disagree about calling it “trivial.” Mere days after Minneapolis, it was only too relevant, and not something to joke about.
Photos credit: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon, Getty
I’m surprised the numbers were down, but that’s just because I loved the show. Lol. But, I don’t often watch and I’m no expert on award shows, at all. So there’s no shock that I’m out of touch here. 🤷🏽♀️ The first two winners made me happy and I genuinely lol’d at the opening monologue. I needed some glamorous and funny distractions. Agree with dumping those jokes.
I think the Sydney Sweeney joke was funny.
I think she meant that the joke would “trivialize” something that is deadly serious and TBH I agree with her. During a time when some Americans actually hit the laugh emoji in response to images of ICE thugs shooting and beating unarmed citizens we really don’t need to humorize this shit.
I really enjoyed her opening monologue. It’s all I saw of the GG because I watched that part on Youtube. I forgot they were happening. I appreciate her sharing the behind the scenes of the jokes, it’s always interesting to see what jokes didn’t make it in and what got axed. She def made the right call to nix any Trump or ICE references.
I thought Nikki was hilarious throughout and her opening monologue was solid (her Nespresso bit with George Clooney was one of my favorite jokes). But here’s a question: what happened to the In Memoriam segment?? Of all years to leave that out this definitely was not the one, with so many legends passing away in 2025. That struck me as a *huge* miss. Otherwise I really enjoyed it, and I hope they ask Nikki back to host next year.