Here are some pathetic photos from last night’s premiere of Melania Trump’s documentary. The premiere was held in Washington, DC, at the former Kennedy Center, which has been renamed by Melania’s demented husband. Apparently, the Trumps banned several media outlets from the black carpet. Nicki Minaj came out for the premiere as well, alongside a who’s who of fascists, nutjobs, racists, rapists and con artists.

As we discussed this week, Amazon paid $40 million for this documentary, and something like $28 million went to Melania directly. Even after paying that kind of cash-for-access, Jeff Bezos really should have said “we’re putting this on streaming and we’ll bury the viewership numbers.” Instead, everyone insisted on a theatrical run for this documentary, and it’s blowing up in their ugly orange faces. The ticket presales are in the toilet, other countries are banning it because it’s dumb propaganda. Still, the British theater chains accepted the documentary, and there’s a feeling from the incisive British coverage that they just did it so their film critics and entertainment reporters could absolutely destroy this ugly vanity project. From the Guardian:

Films generally require around two-and-a-half times their production budget in global theatrical revenue to break even. This means Melania needs to make $100m to recoup costs. For comparison, that number has recently been achieved by Marty Supreme, the Timothée Chalamet film up for nine Oscars, and which has become A24’s highest-grossing film ever. Other hits currently in cinemas – such as Hamnet and 28 Years Later: Bone Temple – are both on around $42m.

“Everything about the numbers reported for Melania is surreal and certainly unprecedented,” says Steven Gaydos, a veteran entertainment journalist and former vice president and executive editor of Variety. “A documentary based upon a subject of such little popular interest expending such astounding sums and going into theatres where it will vaporise instantly like spit on a griddle. Its cost is so out of proportion to the audience for this project.”

The film’s wide rollout (documentaries in the UK cap their release at about 25 locations), as well as dauntingly early or late start times have given rise to suspicions in the industry that distributors Amazon may be paying cinemas to play the film. Amazon did not reply to requests for comment.

Were this the case in Sittingbourne, Amazon would be paying about £4,080 over the week and recouping just over £100 (all tickets are £3 this Saturday). Representatives for the Light – a chain of 14 premises with an emphasis on community programming and inclusive events – as well Odeon and Vue have not replied to requests for comment. Amazon previously declared: “We licensed the film for one reason and one reason only – because we think customers are going to love it.”

On Thursday, an unverified Craiglist ad offered free tickets to the film this weekend in Boston, plus $50 expenses to those who agree to stay until the final credits. Were this a genuine offer being made by Amazon, and the four-walling strategy verified, it would mean the company is forking out four times for Melania: first for the movie rights, then to ensure cinemas show it, then to make people watch it – and for the tickets themselves.

“These empty theatres and catastrophic box office numbers are going to be a huge embarrassment that must be anticipated,” said Gaydos. “I guess no one involved cares, because it’s impossible for anyone to be surprised.”

[From The Guardian]

The financial aspect of this on Amazon’s side makes zero sense unless you believe that Jeff Bezos simply believes that this is the cost of doing business with the Trump administration. Amazon will pay $100 million to make and distribute Melania’s ridiculous documentary, pay theaters to screen it, then pay people to watch it. And in exchange, Bezos’ other companies will be ensured lucrative government contracts? But it doesn’t stop with the documentary – Bezos has also twisted the Washington Post around to suit Trump and his deranged agenda too.

Well done to all of the people drawing Hitler mustaches on Mel’s posters. Well done to all of the people keeping track of the pitiful ticket sales too.

😳 Melania Trump movie posters defaced with the Hitler 'stache have been placed across L.A. https://t.co/cUzKo49zYz pic.twitter.com/dqmK7L6nnW

— TMZ (@TMZ) January 29, 2026

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.