Are there examples of cheating guys who don’t have to get thoroughly busted before they change their ways and realize what amazing wives they’re betraying? I’m sure there are the rare men who break it off with mistresses before their wives catch them, but we don’t hear about it because they’re not about to let their wives know. It just seems like these idiots carry on for years and that it takes a real cataclysmic event to get them to stop. Then they predictably beg and grovel for their wives to take them back. Meanwhile they’ve been telling the skanks they’re banging about how awful it is at home and what crazy bitches their wives are, while the wives take care of the children, cook and clean for them and listen to them whine about their sh*tty jobs.
That whole introductory rant was about Jesse James and the fact that he’s reportedly now in sex rehab in Arizona and is of course begging his publicly humiliated wife, Sandra Bullock, to take his cheating ass back. The good news is that James has been away and hasn’t been in “crisis talks” with Bullock, as has been speculated. Sandra is also standing her ground and is refusing to take James back, according to Radar Online:
The shamed husband of Sandra Bullock has checked into a sex treatment facility in Tucson, Arizona to deal with the issues surrounding his serial cheating scandal, and RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting that he is begging his wife not to divorce him.
A source close to the couple told RadarOnline.com exclusively “He offered to go to the same rehab center that Tiger Woods went to if Sandra would support him and stick with him. She said ‘no’, and that basically he’s the scum of the earth.”
But Jesse, desperate to save his marriage, checked in to Sierra Tuscon in Arizona last week anyway.
The source says it’s too little, too late. RadarOnline.com reported exclusively that Sandra has decided to divorce James and the source says she is staying with that decision.
James rep confirmed that Bullock did not ask James to get treatment and that it was his idea.
The source says that Jesse is in for sex rehab. “But no, Sandra is not there” the source said. “He (Jesse) is trying to show her he wants to recover. Sandra is tough and does not take humiliation well. It will take a lot more than Jesse going for a week to some clinic for her to even take him seriously.”
The Oscar-winning actress has felt “humiliated, devastated and embarrassed,” by Jesse’s chronic cheating, the source says, adding that she still wants out of the marriage.
“Jesse checked himself into a treatment facility to deal with personal issues,” his rep said in a statement to People. “He realized that this time was crucial to help himself, help his family and help save his marriage.”
[From Radar Online]
There’s yet another mistress set to come out, which would make number five. The National Enquirer reported last week that James cheated with 11 women, and from what I’ve gathered of his M.O. he really tried to make these women feel special and valued. He wasn’t that different from Tiger, who had a beautiful classy wife at home and was sleeping with trash while he was away for work. I have a lot of respect for Sandra and it takes a very strong woman to hold her ground and move forward with a divorce. I wouldn’t fault her for taking her time either, though. We don’t know what goes on behind closed door or in someone else’s marriage. Sometimes the case is so clear cut though that it’s hard to see how anyone could consider staying in a relationship with such a vile excuse for a husband.
He is scum of the earth. He doesn’t deserve another chance with her.
UGH this just gives me agida!
These sex rehab stunts by celebs that cant keep it in their pants are a joke.
Somewhere there is a genius making alot of money on what is nothing more than a resort masked as a ‘sex-rehab facility’, wish I would have thought of that.
We just knew this was coming. Ugh.
If the rest is true, I hope she doesn’t change her mind.
Next step: Sex Rehab. Check.
Laughable – who DIDN’T see this one coming?
I hope she isn’t silly enough to give him a second chance.
Sandra deserves so much better than this disgusting so called man- real men don’t cheat and lie to their wives, as they realise the value of one man one woman.
I can’t help thinking that if more women were to say that they are not prepared to tolerate infidelity and didn’t partake of it themselves (not that I am saying Sandra did) then it would be a lot harder for men to get away with debasing women in the manner that some of them do.
It really is time that women stopped defending the indefensible with regards to cheating. Zero tolerance is the only way forward.
But at the end of it all it really is up to her what she does next.
All I have to say on it is that respect is a two way street and clearly her husband is not on the same street as her.
When did a lack of self-control become something that needed “sexual rehabilitation?”…..It would be different if these affairs were happening both when she was home and away, but it sounds like most of these happened when she was away….meaning he had control when he needed it and lacked it when he thought he could get away with it. That isn’t a psychological problem – it’s just repulsive! I really feel for Sandra here….if your spouse/sign. other/partner cheats, the one thing you don’t want is people knowing about it and she has had to endure the entire country knowing.
Sex addiction, my ass. These peckerwoods won’t keep it in their pants because they don’t feel like it, don’t think they have to, or just don’t care who they f*ck. Then they get caught and it’s all “But honey, I’m an addict. I couldn’t help myself. I’M the victim here, not you.” Bite my ass. It’s a load of bullshit.
Incidentally, how many women have claimed sex addiction when the get caught cheating on their men? I haven’t read of a single one…
Ridiculous.
He’s desperate to stay with Sandy because he knows that what tiny morsel of any reputation he had has gone down the tubes.
I say that to call sex an addiction is just an excuse for bad behavior.
He is revolting. What is this BS with all these cheating men running to rehab and whining that they have a problem. Oh, poor me, I’ve been cheating on my lovely wife with every nasty skank I can find, but don’t dump my sorry ass. I’m sick I tell you, sick, but I’m getting treatment, really I am! Um, yeah ok. Is anyone buying this BS? I hope she dumps him for good and NEVER looks back.
This and his talking his way out of a police citation by blaming his marriage problem, and now the Heil Hitler photo-pretty sure that’s not in the DSM and roster of rehab treatment options. The guy is a racist, cheating loser and his rep won’t recover. Go Sandy-leave him and never look back!
Do they have a rehab for bigots and racists?
@Julia –
Where does “zero tolerance” begin? I’m curious because you are taking a pretty strong stance, and yet, men and women’s brains are, from a physiological standpoint, wired differently. Men do think about sex more often than women, and studies have affirmed this. So, is a male fantasy about a woman other than his wife cheating? If so, most women would need to leave their husbands. I think the more you educate yourself on the workings of the male mind (and there are some good books out there), the more one realizes we have no idea how they think. As one of my male friends put it, “you don’t want to know the extent of depravity that afflicts the male mind.” And yes, he’s married to a beautiful, wonderful woman. So, where does infidelity actually begin? We live in a society that says “as long as you think it, it isn’t cheating because you haven’t touched her” but how easy is it to cross the line if you have already been entertaining thoughts of sex with someone else? I’ve been studying this area for the last year (I’m a researcher) and the information out there is intriguing. For instance, how many women have asked their husbands what they think about (or rather, WHO) when they take care of themselves? I think most wives would be SHOCKED if their husbands told them the truth!
This “sex addiction” treatment is such bullshit! It’s called KEEP IT IN YOUR G-DAMN PANTS. Good grief. Is it that hard to be faithful to your beautiful successful wife??
5…4…3…2…1.. AND THERE IT IS. Couldn’t be long before someone trotted out the men can’t help cheating because their brains are different. Cheating is a choice. Period. You either make the choice to stay faithful or don’t get married in the first place. Nobody is dragging them at gunpoint to the altar. And do some more research, not all men cheat. This country is getting so ridiculous. It’s like nobody can take responsibility for anything any more. I’m an addict, men can’t help it, blah, blah, freakin blech!
People can change, but it is rare. Many times when given a second chance, they just figure they got away with it and need to be more careful next time so they won’t get caught.
I didn’t see the sex rehab thing coming. That doesn’t strike me as really JJ, but then it didn’t strike me as really Tiger either. Jesse now looks like he is desperate and pandering.
Bottom line, for someone who supposedly loved her, he ruined one of the best times of her life. At this point, she doesn’t have a lot to lose by dumping him, although his children will lose a lot of they can’t see her.
Frankly, if JJ was any kind of a man, he’d ‘fess up, tell her he can’t blame her for leaving and be generous in the divorce about her seeking the kids and anything else she wants. Sadly, that doesn’t sound like the whiny little pervert who went to sex rehab after he got caught.
if sandra takes this scumbag back, she deserves what she gets. were i her, i’d be getting HIV and STD testing STAT.
JJ-“but Sandy, I cheated withese hoes because my brain is wired differently”
Sandy-*snips his nuts off* “Oops Jesse, I thought I was cutting some consruction paper. Must be some neurological difference in my brain that made me do that”..
Bahahahaa c’mon @N, seriously?
@Whatever –
Wrong! You should have read my whole post – I don’t accept it and in fact, think that cheating starts well before someone actually gets involved with someone else – I think it starts at the level of cognition, but I’m a minority in the current society.
Instead, I advocate that women and men talk to their partners before getting married about how to cope with thoughts (because it happens for women too) that enter their mind concerning people that are NOT their significant other because that is where cheating begins and the physical part of it becomes easier to complete when you’ve already envisioned it happening.
It is a bigger challenge for men – and if you deny that, I suggest you educate yourself on available literature. As much as we strive for an egalitarian society, there are real (and measurable) gender differences in the anatomy and neurology of the CNS.
Yeah, my husband’s a sex addict, too. He’s addicted to sex with me. And because of that, he says he’ll never cheat on me. And you know what? I believe him.
@ Raven –
My husband and I were just talking about that this morning. If a man cheats, why can’t he man up and say, “yeah, I cheated, I’m a shithead, please forgive me” instead of claiming victimhood and acting like he has a disease so it’s not his fault? The true victims are the wives and children. Not the cheater, not the sluts he slept with; period.
Maybe he will talk to someone about his thrill-seeking personality and how he can control the impulse to jump off a cliff and ruin everyone else’s life along with his own.
Sex rehab is total BS. I agree with other posters saying this is a lame excuse for bad behaviour. Why does Jesse even want her back? Obviously his “type” of women are tattooed skanks since his peen repeatedly seeks them out. Dump his cheating ass Sandy!!
RUN, SANDRA, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She won’t take him back for a number of reasons, nearly all are his 8 million faults, but some are her personality issues. She herself has said she has a hard time trusting, of letting a part of herself go enough to let a man take care of her, to let him have that last piece of her, which is why she never married until him because he made her feel safe and protected.
Jesse just proved in the most damaging way possible that she shouldn’t trust a man to take care of her again (in her mind, for now). He effed her up in so many ways, it would have only taken one, not eleven or a hundred or a thousand and if he didn’t know if before that Barbra Walters special, he knows it now. His ass is gone.
It’s sad that such a beautiful, sweet (by all accounts that I’ve ever heard) person has such trust issues but can have so many, many friends. I hope Jesse rots in hell.
Cheating-with-whores is NOT a sex addiction. Go home and jerk it until it bleeds spending thousands in website porn scams AND THEN go to rehab. He is soooo FAIL.
What a joke. Why don’t they just call it “dirtbag rehab” and be done with it.
Sex Rehab? Oh, please. Keep you dick in your pants, or don’t get married. How hard is that?
There are many studies to back “N” up. Yes, we all make choices in life, but
s(he) is correct that the male brain is simply hard wired differently from a female brain. I am not sure how couples are suppose to deal with these differences. But emerging technologies have always made sex easier to acquire. Watch a man when a woman dressed provactively walks by. The variety of responses you will see may surprise you.
I think there are men who are greatful to Tiger and Jesse because they have exposed the dangers of sextexting to women other than their respective others. I do not hink “N” was offering excuses for these men, but just siting research.
Good for her. I still don’t think he’s truly sorry for what he did, just sorry he got caught doing it.
@snowball – I totally agree with you and I think that is why we all are so affected by it, we all can imagine how she feels having her heart ripped out. But, I also wonder if she was just ignoring some of the signs that he might not be such a good guy. I know there are some good guys out there who would treat Sandy well and I hope she finds that special person or they find her.
@NYCmom
Thank you. I was not (read my first post where I said this man is absolutely repulsive to me) in any way defending him or men OR women who cheat.
Rather, I find, in so many of these comments on articles when PEOPLE cheat, that people say “this is absolutely unacceptable.” I AGREE that it is absolutely unacceptable; however, the more pressing matter seems to be that these men are cheating on their wives long before they actually sleep with someone else. For most women, the fact that their husband (in the Jesse James case) was trolling the internet (myspace I think I read) for less than sophisticated women would be considered cheating. However, for a lot of men, the definition of “cheating” seems to revolve around a “physical contact” but this is NOT the case for women.
Women tend to define cheating in a more broad manner (i.e. if my husband was talking/texting to another woman without me knowing, you bet I would call him a cheater if it was in any way inappropriate) but of course, there are men and women who transcend these gender differences.
So, the problem is there long before someone actually has the physical relationship and that is what we need to be focusing on. Before the recession hit, adultery was projected to be at an all time high, as was divorce. This has declined with the recession, but the problem will surface again. We need to look at the etiology, not the symptom, and tackle the problem from there.
Another month of Jesse and Sandra and we will be onto another cheater. That seems to be the pattern this year. I wonder who will be coming out in May?
Ah yes, the great male brain, wired differently. A fact but not an excuse. Yes, the male should talk to their partner about their thoughts and how to cope with them… trouble is the great male brain doesn’t like talking about feelings, what a pickle to find oneself in.
Is this the same as the female brain being wired to be inferior at math and science? (Test scores now show equality). The same as females being unable to parallel park? (I’m proof that we can just fine).
I’m not saying the brains aren’t different, I’m saying it’s not an excuse for anything let alone bad behaviour. Mr James isn’t addicted to sex, he’s addicted to sex with skanks and lying about it to his wife.
Such a loser!
I don’t know if I buy that the male brain is “wired” differently. What you guys are talking about is biology. Our limbic (emotional) brain developed first, and is much older, therefore using the rational part of our brain to overcome the emotional part is difficult. We can argue all day long whether men and women are “wired” differently, but really, I believe it’s a much deeper issue. So many other factors come into play. As far as I know, there are some men that don’t cheat. They are few, but they exist. And what I know about these men is that they have something that cheating men lack, which is called “character”. Some have more than others. But saying that men are “wired” differently lumps all men into one big group. While I agree with the people who are saying that sex addiction is BS, I do think these men need therapy- because they need to learn how to have self-esteem. Or whatever the hell it is that makes them cheat on lovely, classy women with total money-grubbing gutter pigs. Maybe women don’t cheat as much because we’re more in touch with our feelings, both of self-love and of inadequacy, whereas a man would not necessarily access those feelings and instead act out with gutter pigs. I don’t know. Psychology is fascinating, though, right?
What a sack full of crap. Men in general just pi** me off.
I agree, he’s only sorry that he got caught. Thank goodness Sandy is doing the right thing by divorcing him and moving on with her life, she deserves a real man who will respect her and treat her like a queen.
yea, addiction to selfishness is more like it.
Hey Jesse…how do you think your three kids feel reading all this crap?
Way to destroy your family over worthless vag.
Truly vile excuse of a human being.
Sandra is not divorcing him now If she was he wouldn’t have gone to rehab it serves no purpose unless she agreed to give him another chance.
His trip to rehab may not save his marriage, but it might go a little way in preserving his custody of the children.
You know what? I don’t give a shit if a man’s “brain” is wired differently. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of thinking going on with guys like Jesse James. It’s no excuse to behave like a complete barbarian the second his wife’s back is turned and then lie, lie, lie about it until he is backed into a corner. If a man’s brain is wired differently, does that also mean his brain is wired to lie, sneak around, and be completely careless by not using protection? How do you explain that? No, this isn’t a question of science. He’s a low-life. Case closed.
Aha! All men are wired to cheat u say? I have always believed that all men cheat, but i am starting to understand that there are still a few good men out there, but everyday, men i know, see and hear about just make me believe that, hey, maybe i was right, no man can ever be faithfull to any woman. Sad! Sad! Sad! Maybe monogamy is an illusion .
To all the posters that think JJ is just a bag of dirt. I agree. Bellaluna you are right on. Who’s the victim here? It’s amazing how these a@@holes try to turn it around and march out the pity party for themselves.
I used to be married to a lying cheating scumbag and am now married to a faithful, honest man. He knows I would eat his balls for breakfast if he ever cheated. Keep them on a short leash ladies. Men are dogs and they will stray.
First, that’s not me (the poster who has been using that tag). Someone ripped my nametag.
Second, I like how now when you get busted for cheating you go to ‘sex rehab’ and if you’re busted for being a douche you go to regular rehab. Nobody’s just an asshole anymore?
@ #13:
It’s true that people have varying definitions of what constitutes cheating (physical vs. emotional), but I think we can all agree that boning a chick named “Skittles” qualifies.
I’m going to go against the grain here on the whole addiction stance. I think that the actions of both JJ & Tiger do have observable components of addictive behavior for the following:
1) actions are destructive to self & family
2) an illogical thinking that it’s “okay” to engage in the behavior in face of serious consequences & that they will NOT get caught
3) the secretive nature of their behaviors
4) and the victimhood/”please forgive me” “I’ll never do it again” stand once getting caught
Now, whether the label of sexual addiction needs to be applied, who knows. Yet both men are being exposed for acts that would be just as vile if you substituted drugs or gambling for the women.
Ok, now I’m ready for the potshots…just know this is my personal take as a total outsider. And, that I in NO WAY excuse any behaviors of these men. Send them off for help…and maybe they’ll *crosses fingers* get a good dose of rational thinking. Cause it’s not the therapy that will solve anything; it’ll be the application of that therapy to real life. It’ll be months & more to see if they stick with any helpful program. Or, if they fall back into a patten of having others keep them in line.