I won’t say that I was brought up not super religious, but in lieu of having a bat mitzvah, I marked my 13th birthday with a family dinner… at a restaurant that specialized in shellfish. In the sense that food was our main religion, it was a very holy event! Needless to say, I grew up in a family that was open to the unconventional, to adapting traditions to best suit the individuals involved. So between that heritage and being a proud dog mama in my adulthood, you better believe I give four paws up to the phenomenon known as the “bark mitzvah,” a celebration of a dog’s 13th birthday. It’s essentially the same as the Jewish rite of passage: read from the Torah, party with friends and family, and then chase a ball for hours in the backyard. Yahoo just profiled the “bark mitzvah,” including asking persons why they felt compelled to throw the typically-human occasion for their pooches. The answer lies in ancient Hebrew prayer: Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, asher BECAUSE WE LOVE OUR DOGS.
When James turned 13, his Jewish family marked the milestone in proper fashion: Friends and family gathered at his home, and he wore a kippah — a traditional head covering — as blessings were recited and the Torah was read. It was a celebratory moment, though James seemed more excited about snagging a piece of challah.
Afterward, his family took him for “a nice long walk” — on a leash. James, you see, is a dog. A goldendoodle, to be exact.
To Diane Miller, it made sense to throw her dog James, now 15, a “bark mitzvah.” “All the boys in the family had a bar mitzvah at 13, so we thought our dog should as well,” the New Yorker tells Yahoo. “He’s part of the family. So we thought it was appropriate and a cute way to enjoy his birthday.”
While the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony typically celebrates a child’s 13th birthday, some families are now marking the milestone with their beloved pets. Many of the celebrations are being shared online, including the lavish, delicatessen-themed bash that creative consultant Nicolette Mason threw for her dog, Frankie — complete with gift bags filled with Frankie merch and black-and-white cookies. And then there’s Paige Chernick, who hired a pet portrait artist for four-legged guests at her dog Charlie’s bark mitzvah.
…Two years ago, Lindsay Malen — who lives in Florida with her husband, kids and three rescue dogs — threw her wirehaired Jack Russell-Chihuahua mix, Mickey Mantle, a bark mitzvah for his 13th birthday. Malen, who grew up in New York City, named the dog after her dad’s favorite Yankee. “I grew up idolizing Mickey Mantle just like he did,” she tells Yahoo.
For Mickey Mantle’s bark mitzvah, friends and neighbors and their dogs gathered at Malen’s house and then paraded around the neighborhood together, with Mickey wearing a kippah and tallit (a shawl worn during prayers). “He couldn’t have been more excited,” she says. The celebration ended with a backyard barbecue that included peanut-butter-filled bones for the dogs and a piñata stuffed with tennis balls.
Malen says she wouldn’t have had it any other way. … “We’ve had a lot of loss in our lives,” she says, “and I felt as though it’s really important to celebrate any good occasion that you can.”
Rabbi Robyn Frisch, who hosted Mazel Pups, a podcast for Jewish dog lovers, views the rise of bark mitzvahs as part of a broader cultural shift. … “I think it’s great,” she says. But the rabbi does, however, offer a caveat. “Though your love for your dog may be as deep as your love for any human, you should be mindful that the occasion is a fun way to celebrate a dog, but not an actual Jewish religious event.”
That said, “If someone wants to celebrate a dog or other pet who loves them unconditionally and they love back just as much, why not?”
Though I rolled my eyes at the rabbi noting that a “bark mitzvah” is “not an actual Jewish religious event,” she’s on the snout about celebrating these glorious creatures who love unconditionally. And what better way to do that than to have the whole pack together?!! That’s all my dogs have ever wanted, to have all their people in one spot dog damnit! And to have my mother’s homemade matzoh ball soup; truly, every dog who’s gotten to slurp that stuff has acted pawsitively reborn. My dearly departed My Girl never got a “bark mitzvah,” mainly because she didn’t live to 13 (she passed at 12.5, so close!). But also, frankly, it was just so obvious that she was Episcopalian. My Guy, on the other hand, is eight years away but already raring to go. Though I doubt we’ll have one of the more financially outrageous affairs (pending my winning the lottery), he will be proud to wear the “Today is my Bark Mitzvah” kerchief, a treasured family paw-me-down from his cousin. Like canine Mickey Mantle’s mama says, “it’s really important to celebrate any good occasion that you can.” L’chaim!
PS — The piñata filled with tennis balls was an inspired choice, though given the pup’s name was Mickey Mantle, shouldn’t it have been baseballs?
Header photo credit: ilana kapp/Pexels. Other photos credit: Pawtography Perth and Reba Spike on Unsplash and via Instagram
Ah, so lovely to read this. My parents recently had a barkmitzvah for their “new” 18 (Chai / Life) month old pupper
🐶
They lost their eldest age 10 years to cancer
My parents are very social people. So this barmy (barky ?) was completely secular. Mostly an excuse for lots of music, day drinking, eating, games, chewy toys, dancing, doggy treats and a glorified doggy play date. It was complete chaos
Max did have a little blue kippah and they did kind of have a blue & white theme going on and a professional photographer 😂
But, you know, they’re in their 60’s, they love entertaining, they love their dogs. So we dressed up in our party clothes, dutifully bought presents and a white envelope of money and ofc treats and had a cracker afternoon
Nice to read other people do this. Let’s definitely normalise celebrating pets reaching special milestones. L’Chaim
That’s very sweet. Dogs lives are so relatively short. We swore we’d never adopt another dog after our last one died. Now our adult son’s 10 year old dog (our grandog) has cancer and it’s heartbreaking.