Love triangle: Bill, Hillary and…Martha Stewart?

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Here’s some fun political gossip. I don’t think anyone expects former President Bill Clinton to be faithful to his globe-trotting wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I mean, even when he had the most high stress, high profile job in the world, Billy couldn’t keep his hands, pen*s or cigars to himself. But of all the women out there to keep him company while his wife is trying to settle conflicts around the world, did you ever think Martha Stewart would be his type? Well, if you believe The National Enquirer, Hillary is telling her old pal to back off and stay away from her husband. Oh, the scenes in my head….

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has launched a cold ware against her former pal Martha Stewart – after the domestic diva made a play for her husband Bill, say insiders.

“Hillary is furious with Martha because she frequently drops by Bill’s office in New York City, and has also visited Bill at the Clinton’s home when Hillary is out of town,” divulged the source.

“It’s as if Martha is stalking Bill, and Hillary is fed up. She’s warned Martha to stay away from her man.”

The guru of good living was once a big political supporter of the ex-president and his wife, but Hillary froze out Martha after she was indicted in an insider stock trading scandal, and Martha deeply resents it.

Hillary heard from mutual pals that Martha was vowing to get back at her, “but Martha never blamed Bill, and a few months ago, she decided to see if he wanted to be friends again,” said the source.

“So she sent a long, handwritten letter to his office asking how he was and saying she admired the work his foundation was doing. Martha offered to help and said they should get together.

“Bill jumped at the chance. He invited Martha to his office in Harlem and took her to lunch at his favorite soul food restaurant. They started talking regularly and having lunch together. Recently, Bill invoted Martha to dinner at the house in Chappaqua when Hillary was overseas.

“Martha was thrilled when it turned out to be just the two of them – with candlelight, champagne, and a famous chef cooking a gourmet meal.

“When Hillary heard about it from her household spies, she blew up!

“She yelled at Bill for ‘carrying on’ with Martha, but reserved her most choice words for Martha, saying it was obvious she wanted to get revenge on her by having an affair with her husband.

“She told Bill that she wasn’t even going to ask if he’d been intimate with Martha because she knew he’d lie about it if he had.

“After yelling herself hoarse, Hillary stormed out. She’s barely spoken to Bill since.

“This isn’t some young bimbo involved with Bill. It’s a powerful, wealthy woman – and one who despises her. Hillary feels this is a worse betrayal than many others.”

[From The National Enquirer print version, April 19 2010]

I have a hard time believing this for two reasons: first, there is no way Bill Clinton would be “intimate” with a woman like Martha because she is nowhere near trashy and young enough for him. And second, I don’t think Hillary gives a crap what Bill does anymore. She’s got her own career and her own thing going on. I always thought that she stayed with Bill for the very specific reason of building her own name and career in politics, and now that she’s a success in her own right, I don’t think she could be bothered with Bill’s indiscretions. Now, Martha, on the other hand? I think she is just that big of a bitch that she totally would launch a revenge plan on someone that could include seducing their husband. I have to laugh at the whole sordid story though – doesn’t it sound like something straight out of a “Dynasty” episode?

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18 Responses to “Love triangle: Bill, Hillary and…Martha Stewart?”

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  1. Missmilly says:

    This world is going to hell in a handbasket faster than I expected.

  2. bite me says:

    haha, priceless

  3. Kate says:

    I agree, Martha is probably not Bill’s type. She’s also not chubby enough…

  4. Loriirol says:

    Martha’s my all time favorite felon.

  5. Lem says:

    love the pic of Big Willy and Luscious Liz in the Liz post!!

    this is too funny. can you imagine Martha with the giggles and the munchies. that I’d pay to see!!

  6. Sincerity says:

    If this is true, at least his taste in women has improved. Martha is certainly not a broke, unaccomplished skank. Nothing that goes on between The Clintons really surprises anyone. The desire for camaraderie, influence and power probably replaced passionate love within their relationship a very long time ago. I agree with MSat about Hillary’s possible indifference but I can certainly see her getting somewhat furious about him entertaining single women in their home when she’s out of town. The controversy it generates is very unnecessary and Hillary could do without it.

  7. Pont Neuf says:

    Bill Clinton has some truly awful taste in women. With the exception of Hillary who, independently of whether we agree with her political ideas or not, possesses an intelligence that can only be described as exceptional, all the women he seems to fancy are repellent grotty tarts. Just look at that useless sow Lewinsky, or Paula Jones.

    As for Martha Stewart, she is an anally retentive, repellent, annoying, petty, catty bitch who thinks that knowing how to fold a G-string thong so that it looks like an origami rose, makes her special and exceptional. I watched her television self-adoration, I mean, her show, once, and was appalled by how unpleasant and condescending that woman is. I’m sure she will never write a book about manners, respect and kindness, because she doesn’t know the meaning of those words.

    As for this “scandal”, I’m sure that it has more to do with the media’s periodical need to mock Hillary and present her as weak, bitchy and completely dependent on Bill, than reality.

  8. Linda says:

    Yeah, I don’t see Hillary yelling at him anymore. She’s been through this too many times. I do see Bill and Martha hooking up but they’re all grownups now so it’s a lot different than you may think.

  9. Bek says:

    OMH what an awesome story. How utterly wonderful. It’s like the young and the restless, only with old people. It reads like a seedy soap opera, and I laughed out loud, which I really needed today. And thank you, Loriirol, for your wonderful comment! Back in the day, my mom hoped I would start being a little more domestic rather than artistic, so she sent me a subscription to Martha Stewart Magazine. I’ll never forget picking up a spring edition emblazoned with the words “Welcome Home Martha! Just in time for Spring”, as though she’d been on holiday instead of a prison cell. It was awesome. And you’re comment is just as good. Bravo.

  10. Maritza says:

    Marth is looking pretty good, I totally believe Bill Clinton would go for her.

  11. Crash2GO2 says:

    What’s with his big red doofus nose? Drink much?

  12. Kitty2000 says:

    One of my favourite lines I ever heard was when Hilary referred to Bill as “a hard dog to keep on the porch.”

  13. scout says:

    My opinion about Bill and Hillary have evolved over the years – much as I think they and their relationship have. I truly believe that they will NEVER divorce, and that they have developed a genuine fondness for each other. I do believe Hillary initially stayed with him for political purposes but I think they have developed a bond beyond that, which cannot be broken. I do not think they are in the kind of romantic love married people are “supposed to be in” and I agree that she does not really care about his romantic escapades. If she did, she would not have stayed with him since it is clearly evident that he will never change – he is a class A womanizer. That said, I like Bill and Hillary. I have not always liked them, though….I have learned to like them by watching them over the years. Hillary is, as one commenter wrote, exceptionally intelligent – but what I really like about her is that she has grown right before our public eye – not just in her career, but in who she is after vaious life expereiences. Bill, well, he sort of stays the same…but is just one likable guy – and very smart (which I always find extremely attractive in a man!) BTW, I have wondered about his red nose and drinking, too. But I know someone who has that kind of nose and doesn’t overly imbibe so I will not draw that conclusion.

    So, I think this is another bullshit story! But a very entertaining one! :-)

  14. gg says:

    It’s probably a completely BS story, but I totally believe Martha would become a giggling schoolgirl around Bill, of the ever-reddening giant drunken clown nose (can’t he get some kind of plastic surgery laser fix for that?), and I know from Arkansas ex-governor aides that one constant in the Clintons’ relationship has been Hillarity screaming down Slick Willy and his wandering boob-grabbing ways. She wants to shoot down any chance of him having extramarital fun, unless she’s totally changed and doesn’t give a rip anymore.

  15. JM says:

    Thanks for the laugh! Are you sure this isn’t a plot from Gossip Girl, with the names changed?

  16. canadianchick says:

    Monica Lewinsky-where’s she at these days? I know my husband would be out of the house if he entertained a single woman in our home without me and vice versa if I did it. But I think Hillary has lower standards than I and that she’s used her marriage woes to springboard into political success. Whatever works for her-but if she’s going to keep the dog she shouldn’t complain how he strays.

  17. lilred says:

    The truth of the matter it’s Hilary and Martha hooking up Bill is just the beard.Lol.

  18. Wow, Martha can not catch a break can she? First jail and prison, and now this? Well so much for watching her tv shows anymore