At this point, ‘Sex & the City 2′ should have been a cartoon

sex-and-the-city-2-29-4-10-kc

This is just another in a long line of Photoshopped-to-death images from Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex and the City girls. But this new poster is kind of epic in its Photoshop hell. As Michael K point out, Kim Cattrall seems to have an entirely new face. Jezebel also pointed out that they did something to make Sarah Jessica’s eyes too close together, that Kim’s body looks pasted on another person’s body, and that Kristin Davis seems to have gotten a magically enlarged rack. But you know what I love? I love that they’ve Photoshopped SJP to look mid-orgasm, yet Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon both have “What’s that stank?” expressions. Seriously, what does smell? Must be the Gristle.

But is it really that terrible? Okay, yes, it is. But is it any worse than this?

one-sheet-for-sex-in-the-city

Or how about this?

sex-and-the-city-2-sarah-jessica-parker-10-12-09-kc

At this point, the producers just should have invested in a cartoon of Sex and the City. It would probably be less work than trying to make Sarah Jessica Parker look anything less than deathly.

Sidenote: What’s with all the f-cking sparkles in the sand? Unless Robert Pattinson is involved, I’m not interested.

Posters courtesy of ScreenCave.

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57 Responses to “At this point, ‘Sex & the City 2′ should have been a cartoon”

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  1. Praise St. Angie! says:

    they made Kim Cattrall look like Rachel McAdams.

  2. whateva says:

    Cynthia looks cute (never said THAT before!)

  3. a says:

    SJP looks cross-eyed in the top poster…

  4. Lucy says:

    Haha WTF?! Kim Cattrall and SJP look like those robotic sex dolls.

  5. Stephie says:

    What “a” said, SJP looks cross-eyed in that first shot. Pretty funny. All of these posters are terrible. If I’d never seen the series or the first movie these posters would definitely keep me from checking it out. They’re awful.

  6. allison says:

    hahahha so true

  7. meme says:

    you mean it’s not? i’ve seen maybe 3/4 of an episode of this shoe. my little pony gives me the willies.

  8. malame says:

    that poster is hilarious SJP face looks so f’d up

  9. MARKY MARK says:

    Michael k at D-listed also pointed out (& I’m with him) that this looks like its taking place in Chernobyl

  10. Just a Poster says:

    hhmmm 2 women look lovely, and 2 look like they belong in a video game.

    Kristen and Cynthia look beautiful! Kim and SJP.. wonder what game they shall be placed in?

  11. Alarmjaguar says:

    I actually think Kim C. is looking a little Michael Jackson here — look at her nose.

  12. neelyo says:

    At least they all got their names on the poster instead of just SJP.

  13. EB says:

    This poster is just great! Who ok’s this and says yes, we’ll go with this one?!?

  14. GatsbyGal says:

    Why are they in the desert? What’s with the sand? This isn’t making sense!

    All I can think of is that they’ve remade Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. Makes sense, since most of those ladies look like really attractive drag performers.

  15. carrie says:

    the better is Cynthia Nixon,she looks alike herself

  16. lucy2 says:

    Wait…that’s NOT a cartoon???

    I was thinking old school Cybil Shephard, but yes, Kim does look like Rachel McAdams too!

    Cynthia Nixon is the only one who looks like herself (thought Kristin is close, but not quite). The other 2 are downright hilarious, as is the Chernobyl comment.

  17. Billy Baloney says:

    HA ha ha ha ha! Who on earth ARE those broads?

  18. Camille says:

    Haha May 27 is my b’day, but I will be keeping a wide berth away from this mess.

  19. Beth says:

    This is ridiculous. I agree that Kristin and Cynthia look like a touched-up versions of themselves. The retoucher got carried away with Sarah and Kim.

  20. juiceinLA says:

    If I were Kim Catrell and Candice busheron (or whatever her name is) I would be hugely pissed. this sort of crap undermines what is supposedly a strong female perspective and the alleged message that no matter what the age, single can be fabulous.

  21. juiceinLA says:

    BTW: I can’t believe no one here had a “Mannequin” joke at the ready… we are slipping, definitely slipping!

  22. Ruby Red Lips says:

    SJP’s eyes look almost joined in the middle! What a terrible shot, guessing SJP didn’t see this one for approval!

    Cynthia looks absolutely gorg!

    BTW the first film was terrible so will be avaoiding the 2nd not just due to these shots

  23. Fifthpocket says:

    SATC the CARTOON!!! That’s brilliant! That way we can watch the fun without looking at those moldy old bats!

  24. sasa says:

    This is a new concept.. unieye instead of unibrow.

  25. Ron says:

    Who are the actresses in the sequel? Seriously, those unknown women just got a really big break.

  26. canadianchick says:

    Oh dear, the crossed eyes are so not Halston couture.

  27. original kate says:

    at least in the bottom one carrie’s insane eyes are covered up.

  28. bellaluna says:

    SJP’s rack has also been digitally enhanced.

  29. beardreader says:

    How very Mariah Carey-Glitter.

  30. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    SJP’s eyes are more crossed in that top poster than they are in real life.

    What the hell!

  31. jane says:

    You know who I think Kim Cattrall looks like here? Cybill Shepherd, back in the ’80s.

  32. JRock says:

    OK, is it just me, or does Kim Cattrall look like Chris Crocker of “Leave Britney Alone!” fame? That’s all I’m seeing.

    And those other two shots look like they were put together around the time that reflective-coated glasses were hot. 1996?

  33. Lolly says:

    Who the hell is the person in the last poster?

    If I had seen this poster on it’s own, I wouldn’t even have a clue what it was all about…

  34. Kat says:

    Cynthia always looks beautiful. The rest look fubar.

  35. Jenna says:

    Kim really does look like Rachel McAdams in that poster. That’s the first thing I noticed on the page.

  36. Mimi says:

    sigh. so sick of these hags.

  37. smilelover says:

    It’s actually much worse if you consider that these girls don’t look like themselvess IRL anymore due to plastic surgery. I bet we all would recognize nobody if all these celebs wouldn’t have done something and just have lived their life like the rest of the “normal” ppl.

  38. Richi says:

    Except for Kristen the rest look horrible!! am amazed what photo shop can do those ragged bodies!!!

  39. JustMe says:

    When will this atrocity stop?
    When will enough truly be enough?

  40. Maritza says:

    Cynthia is the only one that looks like her true self, the rest are very photoshopped.

  41. cee says:

    Didn’t see the first. Won’t see the second. Not impressed with SJP and have never thought her pretty or sexy. The clothes are over the top. Who walks around like that.

  42. chicoulina says:

    I love the second poster!!SJP looks great!

  43. Stephy2485 says:

    I love them all buuuuut these photos aren’t the best…Except of Cynthia Nixon who really does always look beautiful, classy and splendiferous.

  44. I Choose Me says:

    SJP has pretty eyes but her makeup people do this thing where they outline her eyes in too much eyeliner which makes them look like lil piggy eyes. Ugh. Poster No. 3. Sex and the City – The Blinging. *shields eyes*

  45. Dhavy says:

    They totally killed the series by making these movies. The first one was horrible so I don’t expect better from the second. Cynthia and Kristin look like themselves but the other two? I know that they are older (I think) than the other two but they would’ve looked fine without being photoshopped

  46. Caro says:

    OMG! What the hell happened to sjp? She looks like a muppet. I thought that photoshop should make people more beautiful but there she looks uglier than she is!

  47. Lady D says:

    @ Gatsby Gal and sasa, too flipping funny.

  48. freckles says:

    God damn it, Praise St Angie… that’s what I was going to say and you beat me to it :(

    Side note, in that last picture those sunglasses don’t look like they’ve ever even been in the same room as SJP, let alone that they actually sat on her face.

  49. Anj says:

    The horse’s…oops SJP’s eyes in top poster is unmatched giving her lunatic expression…. hahahahaahaa

  50. CYANN says:

    The bridge of SJP’s is huge and makes her eyes look funkified.

  51. Tess says:

    Talk was that the female characters in the series were really stand-ins for men.

    Well these posters put to rest any speculation. This is misogynist and all involved should be understood to not really like women very much.

  52. Kelaa Khaa says:

    The person who gave the green light must have been team cynthia and sjp looks like something out of that eighties alien show V.

  53. Emily says:

    I don’t think that’s even SJP in the final poster. It looks nothing like her, and if it didn’t have SATC all over it, I’d have thought it was some random sunglasses ad.

  54. maryjane says:

    gosh… if u ask me that’s not sjp in those posters! besides, sarah is a beautiful woman, she doesn’t need to look younger than she is. other women don’t look as fixed up as sarah but i still don’t like these… btw sjp looks somewhat like a zombie on these pics…

  55. Shandistarchild says:

    OMG~I LOVE SATC! But that being said…the first pic of Carrie looks kinda like the character “Stuart” from Mad TV, Michael McDonald used to play that 6 yr old boy, with the pink cheeks, and cross eyes…Is anyone else with me??!!!!

  56. Jamie Davidson says:

    This is crazy, but I might actually have to get this. It’s a Sex and the City sex toy collection: http://www.mypleasure.com/Sex-Toy-Sex-And-The-City-Collection.asp