Helen Mirren vs. Katy Perry at the ‘Arthur’ premiere: who would you rather?

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Russell Brand and his two lady lovers were at the London premiere of Arthur last night, but Rusty was bad (so bad) and he only posed with one of them. After months of taunting us with their deliciously inappropriate cougar-cub hotness, Rusty seemed to avoid Dame Helen Mirren like the plague on the red carpet. Instead, he focused on his wife, Katy Perry. I imagine that Katy made him promise to stay by her side all night, and ignore “the other woman.” Rusty obliged – and he actually looks totally enamored with his wife, which just makes me sad (because I don’t think it’s going to last).

But Dame Helen put up a good fight, and if society was a bit more accepting about these things, I think Rusty and Helen would have left their partners long ago to follow their love. So Helen put on her animal print and her motorcycle jacket, and she made sure that every time Rusty glanced over, she looked hot and fabulous.

So here’s the question – if you were in Rusty’s position, and you had to choose between Katy Perry and Helen Mirren, who would you choose? And we’re talking love, people. This is not a “one night stand” question. This is a “choose your Forever Biscuit” question. Helen or Katy? Choose wisely.

Oh, did I mention? I HATE Katy’s Philip Armstrong dress. With her coloring, she should be wearing jewel tones and avoiding nudes like the plague. Plus, the dress just looks really cheap and shoddy.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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49 Responses to “Helen Mirren vs. Katy Perry at the ‘Arthur’ premiere: who would you rather?”

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  1. Tanya says:

    Duh! H to the Mirren! She’s fantabulous!

  2. Eve says:

    Mirren, hands down.

  3. S says:

    Helen looks SO fierce! What a minx.

  4. kazoo says:

    katy’s face looks weird and her dress looks cheap.

    helen mirren is so beautiful.

  5. spinner says:

    SWOOOOON!!! Helen…of course.

  6. kiko says:

    helen mirrer is the ultimate goddess!katy is a kid that wears a lot of makeup.helen for the win!!

  7. victoria says:

    katy’s dress is beyond hideous.

  8. Quest says:

    Absolutely…Helen (now and forever), Katy is looking different in the face. Hmmmmm

  9. Heather says:

    Katy’s dress may be drab…but it’s not some ‘OMG LOOK AT ME’ thing she usually wears with neon colors and out there wig. It’s not her premiere, so I’m surprised she dressed down. Props, Katy.

  10. You don't say says:

    Dame Helen is quite a “dame”.

  11. luls says:

    um hello people!? Katy perry DUH! Im sorry but unfortunately Hellen is gona be an old old lady in like 10years, whereas Katy wud be at the height of her beauty and sexuality by that point. So Katy is a more suitable “forever buscuit”!

  12. Marjalane says:

    Is there really a question here? Katy Perry comes off like a mongrel puppy when you compare her to the sleek showdog that is Dame Helen. Also- I am particularly hateful to Katy Perry at the moment as I once again had to stem the flow of blood from my ears after hearing, (AGAIN) her latest vocal disaster. God, she has an awful voice! She can hide it with an upbeat bouncy song, but this latest one is pure torture.

  13. Mae East says:

    Kaiser, there are actually pictures from the premiere of Brand and Mirren posing together in which THEY ARE KISSING ON THE MOUTH:

    http://www.popsugar.com/Russell-Brand-Katy-Perry-Kissing-Pictures-London-Premiere-Arthur-15841701

  14. Katalina says:

    He didn’t ignore Dame Helen at all!! There’s even a pic with them appearing to be open-mouth kissing!!!
    http://www.popsugar.com/Russell-Brand-Katy-Perry-Kissing-Pictures-London-Premiere-Arthur-15841701

  15. Megan says:

    Katy shouldn’t rock the middle part without bangs. Sooo unflattering. Makes her face look uber chub.

  16. Kaiser says:

    Mae East & Katalina – OMG, those photos are amazing! We don’t have those. Yes, Rusty left his wife briefly and decided to make out with Helen. As we all would.

  17. merski says:

    Why do Katy Perry’s clothes always look like ice skating outfits?! o_0
    It shouldn’t be this hard to make her look pretty….

  18. kikay says:

    Dame Helen of course,Katy is beginning to look like Russell Brand in the face ,not good!

  19. Eve says:

    Why do Katy Perry’s clothes always look like ice skating outfits?! o_0
    It shouldn’t be this hard to make her look pretty…

    @ Merski:

    After seeing a make-up less Katy Perry, I think it’s *this* hard to make her look pretty. Girlfriend is average looking at best. You’re right about the ice skating-ish outfits she wears (quite often, by the way) though.

  20. merski says:

    Hah, Eve, yeah I’ve seen that photo posted by Russell some weeks ago. Rough. But they seem to be doing a good job with her make-up. And it shouldn’t be so hard to find a nice and appropriate dress for her. I’m starting to think she actually has a big part in picking out her wardrobe, because it’s so consistently tacky…

  21. Flan says:

    @Mae East and Katalina: I haven’t been around long on this website, but even I know Kaiser is going to love your links

  22. Samigirl says:

    DAMN. Helen Mirren’s body is better than mine. She is ROCKING that dress.

  23. Eve says:

    And it shouldn’t be so hard to find a nice and appropriate dress for her.

    @ Merski:

    I agree. She’s got a nice figure but ruins everything by wearing really tacky dresses. Let’s send both her and Angelina Jolie to a wardrobe rehab camp.

  24. Your Mama says:

    I think he loves his wife, but is enamored with Dame Helen…? But, look at Katy’s face… calling it Preggo Blow = slightly puffy & she’s preggers. My guess.

  25. e says:

    I agree with the comments about Katy; the girl has horrible taste but Russell seems pretty in love with her.

  26. wow....really? says:

    Well. . .No one can compete with Helen Mirren. She’s fierce in that dress. Katy Perry needs a good stylist. The way Russell is looking at her in the pictures is sweet though.

  27. Disbelieving says:

    RE: Katy’s bad taste. Wouldn’t Russell be the ultimate proof of that?

  28. Gabrielle says:

    Wait. Katy Perry is more or less the most beautiful woman on earth. I love that she’s so cartoony. I don’t like this dress though.

  29. Hollowdoll says:

    Definitely Helen Mirren, no doubt. I don’t think Russell knows how to kiss a woman with out trying to slip her the tongue. lmao. IMO he has more sexual chemistry with Helen.

  30. KJ says:

    Helen Mirren looks FAB. The animal print, the leather jacket, the soft fabric, the tig ol lady bitties! She makes Katy look like a kindergardener playing dress up.

  31. xxodettexx says:

    oh, this is SO hard, talent v plasticity….

    Dame Mirren FTW

  32. kmn says:

    Katy Perry’s dress is so cheap and tacky looking. There’s wayyy too much going on – I mean, it’s nude? And bedazzled? And one-shoulder? And there’s some color block action going on? Sorry Katy, please try again.

  33. MacAndCheesy says:

    I probably would choose Helen.

    On a side note, does anyone else think that Katy is looking a bit bloated? I never knew how long her neck way until that side pic. And that dress is not flattering on her…looks very big around the middle and saggy on the shoulder/bust.

  34. bluhare says:

    Well of course, Helen. If we’re talking forever here, could you imagine the stories she’s got to tell? My god, my mind boggles.

    And I love her outfit, and I absolutely love that she’s given up the blonde and gone grey. She looks awesome.

  35. Ur Favorite Bartender says:

    Katy looks like an ice-skater circa. 1985 in that dress.
    Helen all the way!!! Bitch is fierce!<3

  36. Jeri says:

    Good for Katy. She ignores all your critisim and goes on enjoying her life, marriage and her career.

    Keep predicting the end of the marriage, it’s just your wish fullfillment. It may happen but they may just fool you and remain together and happy and friends with Dame Helen and her husband.

    Or do you want to see the end of both marriages?

  37. birdgherl says:

    I am overwhelmed by HM’s awesomeness!

  38. jill says:

    Man, he really becomes less physically attractive with each passing day.

  39. Lauren says:

    Helen has refined class. Katie is..I don’t know what she is anymore. Russell Brand is frightening. You cannot buy class or taste, no matter how much money you have..Katy and Russell are perfectly freaky for eachother.

  40. harfang says:

    Helen’s hair is so gorgeous, and makes her even more perfect. Ya know what though, I’m not convinced that Katy is as much of a toolbox as you think, Kaiser. She went from being raised extra super duper fundie (I have 2 close friends recovering from that, it changes all the rules for how you interact with the world, it is a serious onus to carry) to being this huge star, pounding out completely secular/worldly/fame-whorey pre-fab music that other people control. She has no clue who or what she is and I don’t blame her. I’m not especially invested in her figuring it out, but I definitely see why she hasn’t yet.

  41. frankly says:

    Katy has pregnant face.

  42. Victoire says:

    Answer is sooo simple and obvious =)

  43. Rosanna says:

    Helen of course!

  44. annie says:

    Helen hands down.

  45. Amanda G says:

    Katie looks really pretty IMO and I normally hate her.

    Helen is gorgeous, but I think the leather jacket is too much.

  46. Vickyb says:

    Definitely Helen. Russell and Helen would rock that whole adoring younger man (who also has substance) with older, wiser, wonder that is Helen. She’s probably the only woman in the world you could still teach him stuff – I would imagine after the amount of gadding around he’s done, Katy must seem pretty vanilla.

  47. REALIST says:

    Helen wins! Vrooom, vroom.

  48. Helen. Katy is so not nice to Helen and Katy should be lucky to have a woman like Helen keeping Russel busy. I am glad at the end of this premeir, Russel kissed helen. Katy makes me so mad. She is trying to be all cool and make Helen jelous. That makes me so so so mad because I love Helen. And I thing Russel does to. I wish Katy could see this page because she needs to learn a lesson.
    -I choose helen!!

  49. Bella says:

    Helen all the way….
    Katy is a good singer and i like her, but Helen and Russel, I would like to see them kiss more often