Kaley Cuoco versus Zooey Deschanel at the Globes: who won the Twee-Off?

wenn20983211

Kaley Cuoco and Zooey Deschanel: both TV Girls, both considered comedic talents and “Girls Next Door,” both trying too hard to be twee, both with completely overhyped fashion cred. And both looked pretty bad last night for different reasons. Let’s start with Kaley, who I (quite honestly) never considered a Fashion Girl. I don’t even like her casual style really, and I don’t think she knows how to dress for her figure or height, nor do I think she ever knows what to do with her hair and makeup. So, her Golden Globe look was no surprise.

Kaley wore this fug multicolored dress by Rani Zakhem. If the dress fit her perfectly and she was perfectly styled, it would still be an ugly dress. But she made it so much worse with her flat-ironed, unwashed, too-long hair and her bad posture. Plus, the dress didn’t fit. That’s why her posture was notably bad – she was trying to cover up the fact that the dress didn’t fit properly and her boobs were about to pop out. The dress was made for someone with a shorter torso and that’s something you can’t fix with terrible posture.

wenn20983040

wenn20983210

As for Zooey… I have no idea why she gets all of this hype about her style because she almost always disappoints. I really thought this Oscar de la Renta gown was just… not cute. And it was trying to be “cutesy” and “twee”. And it just didn’t work. Plus, Zooey’s hair was bad (but then again, so was everyone else’s).

wenn20983170

FFN_KM_GG_Arr_011214_51303729

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

93 Responses to “Kaley Cuoco versus Zooey Deschanel at the Globes: who won the Twee-Off?”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. GMarchetti says:

    Why is this Kaley thing relevant anyway?

    • Tapioca says:

      She’s the female lead of the highest-rated comedy currently on US TV.

      But the show’s all about Sheldon Cooper, so her character could have been played by a can of paint and no-one would have noticed the switch…

      • Lex says:

        If you need an idea of the state of the US at any given time, just take a look at what the highest rated show is. It speaks volumes!

    • lana86 says:

      she looks like hangover fairy

    • V4Real says:

      Why is this Kaley thing relevant anyway?

      Two Words.. Henry Cavill.

      Think about Jennifer Anniston. She was on a popular show but her popularity was pretty even with some of the other cast members. Soon as she started dating and married Brad she became more popular. If not for Brad IMO Jennifer wouldn’t have as much star power as she has now.

    • Sullivan says:

      Cuoco referred to her recent nuptials as “the wedding heard ’round the world.” I commented on this yesterday, but apparently I’m not over it. Sit down, Cuoco.

      Zoey looks alright, I suppose.

      • Dani2 says:

        “The wedding heard around the world”, is she for real? You are not Kate Middleton, beyotch, have all the seats at the staples center!

      • Zigggy says:

        Oh my god Sullivan, she didn’t! She has such a skewed perception of who she is- painful!!! Shut up already Kaley!

      • Mika says:

        She needs to take a few extra seats

    • Brittaki says:

      I, quite frankly, am shocked that Cuoco didn’t show up to the Globes in flip-flops and a greasy bun. She even had a greasy bun at her damn wedding!

      This look, however, is not much of an improvement.

    • CleverNever says:

      Buggered if I know, GMarchetti… No matter what she wears, her hair, make-up….I don’t know. She just always looks chav.

  2. lucy2 says:

    Zooey’s was a bit old lady meets ballerina, but not the worst of the night.
    Kaley on the other hand is definitely in the running. Bad hair, bad makeup, and that dress is awful. She’s fairly tiny, who on earth was that made for, a doll? The bodice is SOOO small. It looks terrible.

    • mytbean says:

      I KNOW! The fit is killing me! How could she go out and not see this? Maybe it had straps and she took them off because the waist was riding too high? There’s got to be a reason I’m subjected to that… it’s making me tug at my own bra obsessively.

    • Decloo says:

      That dress! It looks like she wore a white dress and then rolled around in a dumpster and climbed back out. Also, what is with these dresses that have the tiny boob cups sown right in at the front of the dress? It makes everyone look flat-chested. So bad.

      • Size Does Matter says:

        My ten-year-old took one look and said, “Why is she wearing that zombie dress?” Oh, it’s just awful. Looks exactly like she was attacked by moldy zombies in the way in.

  3. D says:

    Why does Kaley always make that face in every photo? Something about her mouth…

  4. Lisa says:

    There are no winners here. Dislike both dresses a lot.

  5. Spooks says:

    Zooey’s dress is very pretty, but she styled it bad,
    And Kaley, girl, I like you, but no.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      I think Zooey’s dress would be pretty on someone taller and thinner, not that Zooey is at all heavy, but the dress is cut for a more ballerina type figure.

      Kaley’s hair looks dry and dirty at the same time, which is not a great red carpet statement.

  6. Livan says:

    I think Kaley’s dress could have been beautiful, but on someone else! Maybe on someone who is petite and not blonde?! I think Zooey’s hair is nice though and the top part of her dress!

    • TG says:

      Agree. I bet it would look stunning on Zoe Saldana.

    • Stef Leppard says:

      I agree, Livan! I actually like Kaley’s dress but it doesn’t fit her properly and maybe doesn’t really look good with her coloring. Plus her hair is horrendous!

  7. nofkksgiven says:

    i like Zoey’s look

  8. LadyMTL says:

    So much ugly fashion…must avert eyes.

  9. NerdMomma says:

    Wow, Kaley has been working out, huh? Look at those triceps.

    For a really good posture comparison, check out Zoe Saldana. Good gracious, she has perfect posture. The posture of a ballerina, I suppose, but pics of her at the Globes have inspired me to stand up straighter!

    • Livan says:

      I envy her triceps! Maybe she could not stand up straight like Zoe, her boobs would have popped out, the bodice is too short!

  10. Red32 says:

    When they were announcing the Best Actress Comedy nominees and Zooey made those goofy “OMG ME?” faces at the camera, I rolled my eyes so hard it almost hurt.

  11. Hannah says:

    I don’t think anyone considers these two fashion girls?!

  12. blue marie says:

    Oh no, no.. What fashion fugliness did we just step into? Kaley’s dress would make a lovely bedspread. And there is no excuse for the pearls a pukin’ on Zooey’s top.

  13. Esmom says:

    Zooey’s is twee. Kaley’s is just bad. The dress, the hair, the makeup. She looks like something the cat dragged in.

  14. Dani2 says:

    I like Zooey’s shoes a lot but the overall outfit is just too cutesy for me. Kaley’s dress would probably have been better on someone else.

  15. smee says:

    Nailed it – Kaley’s strapless dress is too short for in the bodice and it’s no wonder she squirmed and tugged at it all night. She has swimmers shoulders and needs to figure out the most flattering neckline for that situation – strapless isn’t the answer.

    Zooey’s dress looks like a marriage to me. The top doesn’t really match or compliment the bottom. The top looks 60s to me and the bottom looks 50s ………Also, it’s a non-color – she would look great in the right color especially with her pale skin, blue eyes and brunette hair.

  16. BendyWindy says:

    I don’t get Kaley Cuoco. I’m probably the only person in America not watching The Big Bang Theory, so that’s probably why. But I don’t find her funny, interesting or attractive in any way.

    Zooey’s makeup is really aging her. Too much foundation, too much eyeliner under the eye and that shade of lipstick just isn’t working.

    • Delta Juliet says:

      I don’t watch it either, so you are not the only one 😉

    • Esmom says:

      I don’t watch the BBT either. I’ve tried a couple times for the sake of my son who says it’s funny but I can’t handle it for more than a few minutes. I find it to be just a standard sitcom, almost unbearable. Although not quite as unbearable as Two and A Half Men. I never understood its popularity either from the little bits I’ve seen.

      • Lori says:

        only time I’ve seen it was when my parents ( in their 70’s) visited last year for 2 weeks. They seem to be able to find it half a dozen times a day. The reruns are on a lot. But they only watch it for Sheldon.

      • Tammy White says:

        You’re kidding, right? BBT is, by far, the best sitcom on TV. I actually knew people like the main characters in college & it is spot on about geeks & neurotic behavior. Parks & Recreation is a close second, as is Community. I guess you’re sense of humor is different from most. I don’t get how anyone cannot find it funnt. I can understand not finding Two and a Half Men not funny (even though I thought it was) but BBT? Nah, don’t get it.

      • BendyWindy says:

        Do you know a sitcom that IS funny? Ground Floor on TBS. It and Brooklyn Nine Nine are my new favorites.

    • emmie_a says:

      I don’t get Kaley either. She never bothered me until she became a total fame whore wannabe. Now I can’t stand her.

    • original me says:

      I don’t thin BBT is funny. I guess my sense of humor is different than most too. I tried watching it and wondered what all the fuss was about. I don’t really find much on tv that’s supposed to be funny to actually be funny. I’m sure the show is great at depicting geeky neurotic people, but I don’t know why that makes it funny. It’s either funny or it’s not, no matter who it;s about. I don’t hate Kaley Cuoco but she just always looks like a mess.

      • Lauraq says:

        It’s funny to me because I am a huge nerd, and I can relate to the characters geeking out over things most people find ridiculous.

    • meh says:

      That’s not Zoe’s makeup making her look old. It’s just what her un-edited face looks like. Her little girl clothes really draw attention to her age as well by creating such a stark contrast.

      Try googling pictures of “Zoe deschanel without bangs” she looks a decade older.

      • deehunny says:

        Really? I guess photo shop does do a lot… but this is by far the worse I have EVER seen the tryhard queen of cutie look

  17. clolune says:

    Kaley always look greasy to me, very hash, and I dont find her particulary beautiful or with style. I like Zooey minus the hair 🙂

  18. LAK says:

    Ever since that summer PR stunt, and her continuous desperation to be super famous, I hear that 80s boyband Bros song ‘ when will I be famous?’ in my head every time I look at her.

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      LAK, you always give the best shade!

    • Mia4S says:

      +1

      She’s made so much money off that sitcom she likely would never have to work again, and yet, the desperation is pouring off of her. It’s never enough I guess.

  19. Ag says:

    I really like Kaley’s dress, actually. It’s very watercolor-y. Makes me think of Monet. But not on her, her boobs are about to escape. Terrible. Zooey – just a big, fat NO.

    • Lori says:

      I think it would have been nice on a different person, or if they had altered it to fit her better.

  20. Marianne says:

    Kaley’s dress was straight up ugly.

    Zooey’s dress was cute and fit her personality. Wasn’t a favourite of mine though.

  21. mellie says:

    I’ve seen Zooey have some nice fashion moments, but Kaley…no, nada…and her dress at the GG, no, just no. Zooey was ok, at least it was kind of pretty in pieces…Kaley’s wow.

  22. Elisabeth says:

    Kaley’s ‘bitch face resting’ is amazing

    • Duchess of Corolla says:

      Absolutely. It just doesn’t stop. I’ve always heard she’s so friendly, nice, etcetera, but you’d never know if from that face!

  23. teatimescoming says:

    I can’t get past how Grey Garden’s Zooeys dress and makeup are. If she had looked less waxy, maybe this could have worked. She looks like she’s been sick for a while and the fever returned unexpectedly. Just… really bad makeup.
    As for Kaley… well, there’s no saving that disaster of a dress. With the right clothing, her overall look could have been much better.

  24. mar says:

    Kaleys dress fits too tight in the mid section. I hate it

  25. Bianca says:

    I like Zooey’s dress and I think it really works with her colouring. The styling is awful, though. The shoes are too matchy-matchy. And what’s that in her hair, a napkin?

  26. Lindy79 says:

    I’d take Zooey over the mess that is Kaley any day of the week.

    Having watched that irritation “wedding prep” video she released even though no one gave a hoot about it, I have gone from not really having an opinion to downright disliking her.

    She mentioned in it that her husband loves her hair down…I can only use that as an excuse as to why her hair then looks like sh*t here and at her wedding. Down = do absolutely nothing with it to her hairdresser, clearly.

    • Florc says:

      But,Lindy79. How do you really feel about Kaley?

      Maybe you were in a position where you had to watch the wedding prep, but I wasn’t. So, maybe I haven’t OD’ed on her yet.
      Speaking on the dresses and not personalities, Kaley’s seems far better, no? I hate the underwire, cup look and even more when the breast does not fit in correctly. It looks like her dress is falling down. Fabric though is nice and so is the hair. Not the best, but not the worst.
      Zooey knows better. She dresses much too old and her styling is usually terrible.
      You can dress hipster chic without looking like you’ve raided my grandmother’s closet.

  27. Murphy says:

    Kaley always posts pictures of her ‘beauty team’ on instagram/twitter before an awards show and I get so excited–this is the show where she’s finally going to pull it off!!

    Then…no.

  28. Zigggy says:

    Zooey’s not that bad, but I can see it more on Helan Mirran or something.

  29. Meggin says:

    Omg kaley’s dress is terrible. But her hair is even more tragic. Please someone tell her to cut her hair!!! It’s not healthy enough to be long

  30. Mrs. Darcy says:

    I think most of the blame in Kaley’s is that it simply doesn’t fit her the way it should, I don’t get how theses stylists stay in employ, her hair is simply awful. Zooey’s is not bad at all imo, I agree her red carpet can be twee but I kind of like the dress. She wants to look like a sparkly princess, let her. The shoes don’t go with it and the hem is not right imo for the style of the dress. I dunno. These GG dresses are all over the place.

  31. Connie says:

    I actually liked Zooey’s dress and it looked good when she was on the red carpet. If anyone is gonna do twee it’s Zooey.

    I like Kaley’s dress just not on her. The gown is supposed to be romantic but on her it’s flat and drab. The fit of the dress is all wrong and I noticed she kept pulling it up. The hair is boring and I cannot abide by that eye makeup. I think the problem with Kaley is that she takes a literal approach with her red carpet style. She’s the kind of person who will match her eye makeup, nail polish and shoes to her gown, and it’s all too overwhelming.

  32. Valois says:

    I’m in th eminority, but I kind of like her dress. The bodice doesn’t fit her (not at all)- but if it would have, she’d looked great from the neck down.

  33. OhDear says:

    Kaley’s dress – it’s falling down on her and the pattern looks like that from a 19th century couch.

    Those pictures are not flattering to Zooey at all; her hair and makeup look terrible. I think that gown and shirt thing she’s wearing has passed the point of being twee to looking like a woman pretending to be a child playing dress-up. Think it’s the sweater/shirt thing that gives it that effect.

  34. GIRLFACE says:

    Zooey won the twee off for sure if just for looking someone what sober and not making weird faces but both looks are bad.

  35. Dawn says:

    I like Kaley better as an actress but unfortunately Zooey wins on this one. I can’t stand Zooey and hear she is the biggest jerk in the world to work with and for. I’ve never heard an unkind word about Kaley however from those who she works with or those who work for her so she wins the better person category in my book!

  36. Moiselle says:

    Kaley has lost her damn mind. That husband of hers looks strung out, and she herself looks like a damn mess.

    Both dresses are ugly but Zooey by default because she didn’t show up with a f’ing user.

  37. Maggie says:

    I loved both dresses ……..just not on them.

  38. dontbuyit says:

    I like both dresses but the floral dress could’ve done with having a better designed top half. Blonde girl doesn’t have the cleavage to fill it, Zooey looks really pretty and chic. However, I think she would have looked better in the dress that the other girl was wearing. The blonde woman didn’t suit the dress.

  39. loveisthecoal says:

    I appear to be in the minority…I actually like Kaley’s dress itself but as has been pointed out, it doesn’t fit…and her hair looks awful!

    I normally love what Zooey wears (I guess I’m a bit twee myself) but this is awful. I’m also normally a proponent of bangs, but that hair is what I’m thinking when I read the phrase “bangs trauma.” I do love her shoes, though.

  40. Potato_Chip says:

    Kaley looks like she is wearing my grandma’s bedspread.
    Zooey’s dress looks like a cushion mating with curtains.
    Major fug to both.

  41. Mairead says:

    Jaysis Kayley, where did you find that thing?

    I think Zooey’s dress is lovely, but I dislike the cap sleeves. I like the styling too.

  42. danielle says:

    Very much like Kaley as an actress. Never considered her a fashion girl tho, and this look is a hot mess all the way around.

  43. Kate says:

    I like Kaley’s dress but not on her, it doesn’t fit. She looks so greasy, I just want to get her in a tub and scrub away. She’s a pretty girl; I wonder if she has all these hideous looks on purpose

  44. kitty-bye says:

    One looks like they rolled around on the floor in packets of cool aid and the other looks like a beaded pot holder lol. Both are fug candidates.

  45. Sal says:

    Gah! Both outfits are revolting.

  46. JFS61 says:

    They both need to go away.