Nevermind that she probably can’t sing. Nevermind that she obviously can’t dance. Kate Gosselin is going to shove her “smugface diva posing as working mommy” brand down our throats any way she sees fit and we are going to buy it, damnit. Popeater reports that Kate has grand plans to release a Christmas album in which she and her eight little moneymakers sing. I’m so sure it will be a best seller.
Kate Gosselin wants to show America that it’s not just her dance skills that are a hidden talent. Now, the famous mom and her eight adorable tots want to release a holiday CD packed full of all her favorite religious classics.
“Kate is pitching a CD of holiday songs sung by herself and all her children,” a record executive tells me. “She sees herself as a modern day Maria from ‘The Sound of Music,’ except this time the family singers won’t be the Von Trap family, they would be the Gosselins.”
And it’s not like Kate is the first reality star to release a record. Three of the ladies from Bravo’s ‘Real Housewives’ franchise have put out singles (my ears!) and who can forget that Jessica Simpson, at the height of her reality show career, put out a Christmas CD where she sang ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ as a duet with lil’ sis Ashlee. I swear to you this actually exists.
“Don’t be fooled,” a friend of Kate’s tells me. “Kate sees herself as a brand. She knows her fifteen minutes are not going to last forever and wants to make the most of it. After all, it’s Kate that’s putting the food on the table for all those children.”
Remember my scoop on how the kids actually earn more than daddy?
I don’t know how Kate finds the time to be a reality star, author, dancer, mother of eight and now singer, but let’s all hope that her singing is a touch better than her dancing. Kate will have a little time to practice, as sources tell me that no major label has offered her a deal just yet. But just you wait until they hear those adorable little eight voices singing ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’! How could anyone say no?
[From Popeater]
What’s next for Kate, a country music career, a perfume, and/or a clothing line? Her last book in which she shared personal letters to her kids tanked, so she’s got to come up with something to keep us talking about her. She should get even more plastic surgery and try to land another another reality star or a failed musician. Just wait, she’ll latch on to some gullible dumb guy we’ve sort-of heard of before. He’ll smile and pose with her at appearances until her controlling ways overwhelm him and he slinks away. I do think there’s someone out there for Kate, and that she’ll hook up with a new guy sooner rather than later. She knows her career depends on it, and if she’s pitching a holiday album she’s obviously desperate. The mewling cat Christmas album will sell more copies this year.
Update: Kate’s rep denies this report, and tells US Weekly it’s “absolutely untrue.” Thank goodness.
I’m pretty sure this means the end times are near.
disgusting.
Isn’t this the equivalent of freaks being exploited at a side show? This woman needs to stop! Those poor kids. “Sing and dance for your education kids!”
I’m sure her kids are SO excited…they probably hate her like crazy. I would too.
Kate is delusional isn’t she?
LOL Liz.
Nothing says Christmas like a angry, greedy, no talent egomaniac selling her family to keep herself famous.
She’s made millions, they’re set. There’s plenty of food on the table, now go away.
Didn’t her failed book teach her anything?!! People are done with her exploiting her kids.
I don’t want to be so infuriated by her smug bitch face but I can’t help it – my hand just itches to slap that smirk off of her every time I see a picture! Yes Kate, what the world needs is more of you exploiting your lack of talent and your poor children. Keep it up, there may be a few people left who still have a smidgen of respect for you, better ruin that ASAP!
Pleeeaasse get THE FUCK OUTTA HERE ALREADY KATE! ugh enuff.
get behind me, satan!!
Sweet Baby Jesus NO!!!!!!
I don’t think the kids hate her-yet. Unfortunately they don’t know there’s a world out there where parents DON’T exploit their children. But they will learn one day. Oh will they ever learn.
I’m pretty sure Kate’s Christmas album is a harbinger of the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
I really wish she would go away.
I’m starting to wonder if the rapture has already happened and these “reality” celebutards and their shenanigans mean is a sign that the earth has turned into hell
Ok, thats it. I offically can’t take it anymore. I really appreciate unintentional comedy, but this is just beyond bad.
I’d rather find a lump of coal in my stocking than that shit.
Just. F*cking. Go. Away.
And she’s the one “putting the food on the table for all those children”?!
Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s the reverse.
Lol Zelda! More like the kids working to put hair extensions on the head of the mommy.
And I did enjoy chuckling over the 75% off sticker at Borders on her last BS book.
Don’t worry. It’s not going to happen. The major labels can smell desperation for a ticking 15 minute timer from a mile away. Some little label might offer her something, but it won’t be enough money (in her mind) to bite.
After all, remember her show “Twist of Kate?” Seen anything on it? Promos? Or even a single promo? Anything? Nope, you haven’t. That’s because TLC filmed a bit of it and realized it was complete crap. Even TLC saw it as crap and canned the thing. Without the kids, it’s just a whiny-@ss narcissistic jerk.
And that last book absolutely TANKED.
So don’t worry kids, she’s on her way out. And even she knows it.
And Celebitchy, I think you should include this pic in the round-up on stories about this…person: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2gFjVIBTauc/TCtXcTvhYvI/AAAAAAAAAyk/PKaY_PTk-ss/s1600/katerunn.jpg
. . . So can’t wait for Maddie’s tell-all. . .
Ugh. Disgusting. Go A-W-A-YYYYYYY Kate Gosselin, go A-W-A-YYYYYYY!!
WHEN IS SHE GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY? @*&%$!
apologies for caps but i feel it’s a CAPS sized AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH moment
I’m with Anastasia, CB. After all, if all those hilarious Demi pics could go up whenever there were posts about her, then I think it’s only fair that now the most hideous pics of Kate’s new face get to go up on posts about her.
If we have to read about her, lets do it to her new face. 🙂
Gah, a Christmas album. Way to ruin the holidays.
Who buys her shit anyway? I’ve never watched her show on TLC. However, I did get a great chuckle from the links provided here with the dancing robot improvisation.
The role models of America: Jersey Shore kids and Kate Gosselin.
I need my cyanide tablet NOW!
Oooooh, I hope the sing that Christmas shoes song that I love so much.
I would so buy their album…not
NOOOO NOT CHRISTMAS SHOES