Kate Gosselin wants to record a religious Christmas album with her kids (update)

SANTA MONICA, CA - APRIL 16: TV personality Kate Gosselin signs copies of her new book 'I Just Want You To Know :Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith and Family' at Barnes & Noble on April 16, 2010 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by John M. Heller/Getty Images)
Nevermind that she probably can’t sing. Nevermind that she obviously can’t dance. Kate Gosselin is going to shove her “smugface diva posing as working mommy” brand down our throats any way she sees fit and we are going to buy it, damnit. Popeater reports that Kate has grand plans to release a Christmas album in which she and her eight little moneymakers sing. I’m so sure it will be a best seller.

Kate Gosselin wants to show America that it’s not just her dance skills that are a hidden talent. Now, the famous mom and her eight adorable tots want to release a holiday CD packed full of all her favorite religious classics.

“Kate is pitching a CD of holiday songs sung by herself and all her children,” a record executive tells me. “She sees herself as a modern day Maria from ‘The Sound of Music,’ except this time the family singers won’t be the Von Trap family, they would be the Gosselins.”

And it’s not like Kate is the first reality star to release a record. Three of the ladies from Bravo’s ‘Real Housewives’ franchise have put out singles (my ears!) and who can forget that Jessica Simpson, at the height of her reality show career, put out a Christmas CD where she sang ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ as a duet with lil’ sis Ashlee. I swear to you this actually exists.

“Don’t be fooled,” a friend of Kate’s tells me. “Kate sees herself as a brand. She knows her fifteen minutes are not going to last forever and wants to make the most of it. After all, it’s Kate that’s putting the food on the table for all those children.”

Remember my scoop on how the kids actually earn more than daddy?

I don’t know how Kate finds the time to be a reality star, author, dancer, mother of eight and now singer, but let’s all hope that her singing is a touch better than her dancing. Kate will have a little time to practice, as sources tell me that no major label has offered her a deal just yet. But just you wait until they hear those adorable little eight voices singing ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’! How could anyone say no?

[From Popeater]

What’s next for Kate, a country music career, a perfume, and/or a clothing line? Her last book in which she shared personal letters to her kids tanked, so she’s got to come up with something to keep us talking about her. She should get even more plastic surgery and try to land another another reality star or a failed musician. Just wait, she’ll latch on to some gullible dumb guy we’ve sort-of heard of before. He’ll smile and pose with her at appearances until her controlling ways overwhelm him and he slinks away. I do think there’s someone out there for Kate, and that she’ll hook up with a new guy sooner rather than later. She knows her career depends on it, and if she’s pitching a holiday album she’s obviously desperate. The mewling cat Christmas album will sell more copies this year.

Update: Kate’s rep denies this report, and tells US Weekly it’s “absolutely untrue.” Thank goodness.

39726, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Tuesday April 20, 2010. Kate Gosselin walks through the rain wearing a large, green robe ahead of taping a live episode of Dancing With the Stars . Kate, who was accompanied by her bodyguard Steve Neild, was booted from the dancing competition show along with her professional partner Tony Dovolani. Professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy, was also spotted among the trailers, with his arm wrapped around Anna Trebunskaya. Niecy Nash could also be seen preparing for the dancing competition. Photograph: Andrew Shawaf, PacificCoastNews.com

NEW YORK - MARCH 04: TV personality Kate Gosselin attends the after party for the premiere of Discovery Channel's 'Life' at Alice Tully Hall, Lincoln Center on March 4, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)

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27 Responses to “Kate Gosselin wants to record a religious Christmas album with her kids (update)”

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  1. Liz says:

    I’m pretty sure this means the end times are near.

  2. guesty says:

    disgusting.

  3. Kathy says:

    Isn’t this the equivalent of freaks being exploited at a side show? This woman needs to stop! Those poor kids. “Sing and dance for your education kids!”

  4. GatsbyGal says:

    I’m sure her kids are SO excited…they probably hate her like crazy. I would too.

  5. denise says:

    Kate is delusional isn’t she?

  6. lucy2 says:

    LOL Liz.

    Nothing says Christmas like a angry, greedy, no talent egomaniac selling her family to keep herself famous.

    She’s made millions, they’re set. There’s plenty of food on the table, now go away.

  7. Laurie says:

    Didn’t her failed book teach her anything?!! People are done with her exploiting her kids.

  8. Corina says:

    I don’t want to be so infuriated by her smug bitch face but I can’t help it – my hand just itches to slap that smirk off of her every time I see a picture! Yes Kate, what the world needs is more of you exploiting your lack of talent and your poor children. Keep it up, there may be a few people left who still have a smidgen of respect for you, better ruin that ASAP!

  9. Captaine says:

    Pleeeaasse get THE FUCK OUTTA HERE ALREADY KATE! ugh enuff.

  10. original kate says:

    get behind me, satan!!

  11. Ron says:

    Sweet Baby Jesus NO!!!!!!

  12. Obvious says:

    I don’t think the kids hate her-yet. Unfortunately they don’t know there’s a world out there where parents DON’T exploit their children. But they will learn one day. Oh will they ever learn.

  13. Penguen says:

    I’m pretty sure Kate’s Christmas album is a harbinger of the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

    I really wish she would go away.

  14. ol cranky says:

    I’m starting to wonder if the rapture has already happened and these “reality” celebutards and their shenanigans mean is a sign that the earth has turned into hell

  15. Melinda says:

    Ok, thats it. I offically can’t take it anymore. I really appreciate unintentional comedy, but this is just beyond bad.

  16. Cinderella says:

    I’d rather find a lump of coal in my stocking than that shit.

  17. Zelda says:

    Just. F*cking. Go. Away.

    And she’s the one “putting the food on the table for all those children”?!

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s the reverse.

  18. Catharine says:

    Lol Zelda! More like the kids working to put hair extensions on the head of the mommy.
    And I did enjoy chuckling over the 75% off sticker at Borders on her last BS book.

  19. Anastasia says:

    Don’t worry. It’s not going to happen. The major labels can smell desperation for a ticking 15 minute timer from a mile away. Some little label might offer her something, but it won’t be enough money (in her mind) to bite.

    After all, remember her show “Twist of Kate?” Seen anything on it? Promos? Or even a single promo? Anything? Nope, you haven’t. That’s because TLC filmed a bit of it and realized it was complete crap. Even TLC saw it as crap and canned the thing. Without the kids, it’s just a whiny-@ss narcissistic jerk.

    And that last book absolutely TANKED.

    So don’t worry kids, she’s on her way out. And even she knows it.

    And Celebitchy, I think you should include this pic in the round-up on stories about this…person: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2gFjVIBTauc/TCtXcTvhYvI/AAAAAAAAAyk/PKaY_PTk-ss/s1600/katerunn.jpg

  20. MissyA says:

    . . . So can’t wait for Maddie’s tell-all. . .

  21. bagladey says:

    Ugh. Disgusting. Go A-W-A-YYYYYYY Kate Gosselin, go A-W-A-YYYYYYY!!

  22. Feebee says:

    WHEN IS SHE GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY? @*&%$!

    apologies for caps but i feel it’s a CAPS sized AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH moment

  23. snowball says:

    I’m with Anastasia, CB. After all, if all those hilarious Demi pics could go up whenever there were posts about her, then I think it’s only fair that now the most hideous pics of Kate’s new face get to go up on posts about her.

    If we have to read about her, lets do it to her new face. :)

    Gah, a Christmas album. Way to ruin the holidays.

  24. Kiska says:

    Who buys her shit anyway? I’ve never watched her show on TLC. However, I did get a great chuckle from the links provided here with the dancing robot improvisation.
    The role models of America: Jersey Shore kids and Kate Gosselin.
    I need my cyanide tablet NOW!

  25. judyjudy says:

    Oooooh, I hope the sing that Christmas shoes song that I love so much.

  26. Aspie says:

    I would so buy their album…not

  27. GatsbyGal says:

    NOOOO NOT CHRISTMAS SHOES