Lindsay Lohan celebrates her 24th b-day by claiming a waitress punched her

42128, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Thursday July 1 2010. An upbeat Lindsay Lohan in good spirits as she and new gal pal Eliat Anschel (dark hair) leave the Arclight cinema after 1am. The ladies, who were also joined by another unidentified woman, has been to see the Twilight Saga: Eclipse . Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com*FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

Lindsay Lohan went out last night, of course. Because today is her birthday! So she had to be in the midst of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs to make it feel real, you know? I can’t believe she’s made it this far, honestly. Remember when she tweeted on New Year’s Day, all coked out of her skull, that this year would bring no more “Lohan Mayhem”? Good times. Radar reports (here for those hilarious photos) that Lindsay spent the early morning hours of her birthday “making her way out of Voyeur nightclub in Los Angeles looking worse for the wear. Clutching a Red Bull can and a pink cell phone, Lohan’s face showed signs of fatigue as she climbed into a waiting car with her pals.” Oh, and don’t forget a little old-school birthday crack-tweet:

lohantweet

[From Lindsay’s Twitter]

Of course the waitress did. It wasn’t a birthday hallucination, at all Lindsay! Of course, if you were a waitress serving Lindsay, wouldn’t you want to punch her in the face too? Lastly, I have this splendid birthday wish from TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan turns 24 today and it’s not gonna be the best birthday ever … by a long shot. Lindsay’s friends tell TMZ … so far, she’s made no plans. One of her best friends put it bluntly, “I mean there’s not much you can do with a monitoring bracelet and no money.”

Lindsay’s friends say this weekend will be Lindsay’s toughest test. She’s got her SCRAM on tight (though she’s bitterly complaining it’s ruining her life), so alcohol is off limits for her BD and for the July 4 weekend.

If Lindsay stays dry until Tuesday, it’s possible Judge Marsha Revel will show her some mercy. Since her last court appearance, Lindsay has brought herself up to date on her Alcohol Ed classes, and she’s passed every drug test.

Lindsay may have a crappy weekend, but she had better hope Judge Revel has a good one.

[From TMZ]

How is the SCRAM ruining her life if she never drinks or does drugs, hmmmm? Oh, right. She’s a crackhead liar, for the millionth time.

I know I said that was the last, but I wanted to mention one more thing – the Los Angeles Times Magazine is going to run this epic piece this weekend about Lindsay being a “fallen angel”. It’s basically a summary of how she’s f-cked up many, many, many times over the past few years. True/Slant bashes the LAT for being tragically out of touch and about two years too late on the piece, and I have to agree. They aren’t covering anything that can’t be found in our Crackhead Archives. Still, it sucks to be called out by a major newspaper for being a crackhead. Will Lindsay make it to her 25th birthday? My hope is that for her next one, she’ll be in jail.

42128, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Thursday July 1 2010. An upbeat Lindsay Lohan in good spirits as she and new gal pal Eliat Anschel (dark hair) leave the Arclight cinema after 1am. The ladies, who were also joined by another unidentified woman, has been to see the Twilight Saga: Eclipse . Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com*FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

42128, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Thursday July 1 2010. An upbeat Lindsay Lohan in good spirits as she and new gal pal Eliat Anschel (dark hair) leave the Arclight cinema after 1am. The ladies, who were also joined by another unidentified woman, has been to see the Twilight Saga: Eclipse . Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com*FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

42128, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Thursday July 1 2010. An upbeat Lindsay Lohan in good spirits as she and new gal pal Eliat Anschel (dark hair) leave the Arclight cinema after 1am. The ladies, who were also joined by another unidentified woman, has been to see the Twilight Saga: Eclipse . Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com*FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**

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34 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan celebrates her 24th b-day by claiming a waitress punched her”

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  1. Ruby Red Lips says:

    ‘SCRAM is ruining her life’

    agreed Kaiser if she’s so innocent of alcohol or drugs, why would it matter?!

    How does she look so f’cked up when she’s sposed to be sober???

  2. bellaluna says:

    Because Hohan is just a poor, misunderstood child who’s never responsible for anything and is simply attacked for no reason. Yeah, right.

    @ Ruby Red – Co-sign; every single word.

  3. Ruby Red Lips says:

    & she’s playing the victim card again….bored now!

  4. Sarah says:

    If I saw her, I’d probably punch her too. lol.

  5. lindsay says:

    i think she looks healthy and happy in those pictures for once instead of totally cracked out and old. no drugs or alcohol is certainly improving her look.

  6. Samantha says:

    She should be forced to wear that ankle monitor forever, it does wonders for her complexion.

  7. Kaboom says:

    Time to wear her SCRAM bracelet in a prison cell. She’ll be safe from random punches there.

  8. Roma says:

    I bet the club will be releasing a statement ASAP denying the punch.

  9. Rachel says:

    I was a waitress when I was in University. Waitresses do not punch patrons, as much as they may want to.

  10. Mercy says:

    She actually looks healthy in these pics … much better than some of the other photos I have seen of her recently.

  11. JaisyMaisy says:

    I am definitely not a Lindsay fan, but she is looking much healthier and better (save for the clothes she chooses). I guess laying off the pipe is agreeing with her.

  12. Julie says:

    She may be wearing the SCRAM but don’t kid yourself asking how she can do good for this long. She’s on prescription drugs that was cleared by the courts. She still looks f….ed up to me all the time.

  13. Praise St. Angie! says:

    just as with the story her mother told about Carvel, I’m betting that IF true, there’s a LOT more to this situation than LL’s side of it.

    like, LL was being a total diva (as we know she can be), saw the waitress outside of the bar (when she was off-duty), said something rude to the woman and shoved her, and the woman struck back.

    or, more likely, it was a pill-induced hallucination.

    after I saw the video of how snotty she was in the photo shoot from that show on E!, I would believe any story about her bad behavior. how can anyone say that she’s a “pleasure to work with” when she’s such a snot?!

  14. Electric says:

    obvs she’s flying high on prescription meds. girl looks wasted

  15. Tia C says:

    She does look high, but at the same time she looks better than she has in ages. That’s funny that the LA Times Magazine is doing a piece on her downfall this weekend. Can’t wait to read the responses of denial that will elicit from Dina and her.

  16. d says:

    That’s telling that she thinks the SCRAM is ruining her life and that you can’t do anything if you can’t drink. I mean, there’s PLENTY that you can do that’s fun and without alcohol. Oh my, so telling. And, she’s got lousy friends still, all obviously hangers-on who use Lindsay to party and get into clubs. But, she does look much better these days. Ironic, I guess.

  17. SolitaryAngel says:

    …..so THAT’S how she gets her lips plumped up with no money!!

  18. Hautie says:

    It is amazing to me how dense Lohan can be.

    Out of all of the young actress (under 25) she would have been the girl with all the good parts. And all the CASH that comes with it.

    If only she had avoided the drugs.

    She could have gotten away with the drinking but the drugs have killed any chance she had of keeping a career.

    Sadly she has aged her face a decade with the crack/meth/coke/whatever it is, she is cramming up her nose.

  19. ien says:

    that girl in the drive seat most definitely does NOT look like she’d be safe to drive with. LOOK AT HER FACE.

  20. Persistent Cat says:

    Not to defend her and I’m not an alcoholic * gulp* but I’d be miserable if I couldn’t even have a glass of wine. As for July 4th, yesterday was Canada Day and I (like the rest of the country) am hu-ungover.

  21. original kate says:

    lohan looks like a waitress’s worst nightmare – drunk, high, snotty, loud, messy, condescending and probably dines & dashes. although i seriously doubt the waitress punched her, i’m sure many of them have wanted to.

  22. Jazz says:

    There’s a queue for punching Lindsay Lohan – I’m at the front of it. 🙂

  23. Uhuh says:

    Who are we kidding, though?

    She looks adderalled out of her MIND.

  24. WTF?!? says:

    24? She looks 44.

  25. Katija says:

    If I had been there, it would have been “a random grad student punched me.”

    I’m sorry, but sucker punching Lindsay Lohan would make for a great story to tell the grandkids.

  26. Leek says:

    That is excellent news. Is there a place we can forward our thank you notes to the waitress?

  27. serena says:

    If it’s true (I doubt it), God bless the waitress.

  28. jane16 says:

    Yeah, if true (which I doubt), the waitress should be given a parade, or a People Mag cover or something. I can’t stand the Lohans. If only the Carvel ice cream kid had punched her ugly mother!?!

  29. Hautie says:

    I do have to mention, that I notice that her hands are clean.

    For the last year or so she has kept some truly awful crusty looking hands and nails.

    As if she had not washed them in a couple of weeks. With the nails chewed down.

    Her hands are actually clean here and the nails not bitten off to the quick.

  30. logan says:

    Best Day Ever!!!!!! Lips Lohan took one in the face. Ha Ha Ha Ha
    There will probably be a lawsuit in this girls future. Mammy and Pappy Lohan’s little girl got hit. Could have possibly ruined her Ten dollar face. Same old story–I didn’t do anything, it wasn’t my fault, somebody else did it—cry baby

  31. Wiley says:

    There was more to this story. The waitress that punched her supposedly dated one of LL’s ex’s for a while. Don’t remember which ex but it was a male. I can picture LL making some snide remark and getting punched. Or, maybe her meds just kicked in and knocked her for a loop! Judging by the smile on her face this makes more sense.

  32. Vins says:

    She looks really beautiful in that picture.. and all the crazy things she does.. the only person she damages is herself.

  33. bellafiga says:

    Here’s the thing about this chick! The reason Downey Jr and Mickey Rourke and Charlie Sheen get work continuously is because they want to be ACTORS! They don’t want to be FAMOUS. Lohan, by any means necessary needs to be the center of any and all attention, she wants to be Marilyn Monroe(who could also act and wanted nothing more than to be taken serious;y) a famous icon representing hollywood and the good life. But she isn’t willing to work for it or her craft(sorry!)

    This is why NO ONE dares take a chance with her. Because she isn’t serious about acting. And from all accounts hasn’t been for awhile!

    I dislike this cretin greatly!

  34. hi girls i can’t wait for the expendables to come out! Its going to be awesome!