An open letter to Jennifer Rabe, Angelina Jolie’s stylist:
Are you the devil? Or are you just horrible at your job? I know that Angelina Jolie’s style is very simple, and that the two of you probably argue about getting her to wear colors. But here’s the thing: that’s your job. Your employment is all about making Angelina look good. If you can’t talk her into wearing something other than an endless parade of black, strapless gowns and cocktail dresses, then you need to hand over your resignation and encourage Angelina to hire a stylist who will actually be able to talk her into wearing something other than black columns, trash bags and muu-muus.
Now, I’m not saying you aren’t capable of occasionally giving Angelina a good fashion moment. The black strapless she wore to the 2009 Oscars was one of the best of her black columns. The red Versace Angelina wore for the Moscow premiere of Salt was stunning. But you allow Angelina to get into a comfort zone of glittery sacks and black columns, and that reflects poorly on you. Girl, pull it together.
I’m sorry if I’m being mean. It’s just that these photos of Angelina at the Salt premiere in Seoul, South Korea broke my spirit a little bit. This is the first time Angelina has ever done promotion in South Korea. You know the Korean Brangaloonies were probably really looking forward to seeing her, and there was probably significant disappointment that she didn’t bring it, fashion-wise, to the premiere. Can you even tell the difference between her dress at this premiere, and what you dressed her in for Changeling premiere, or The Curious Case of Benjamin Button premiere, or the LA Salt premiere, or the Inglourious Basterds premiere? All that changed was the material of the black strapless dress. That’s it. It’s sad that you are so terrible at your job, Ms. Rabe.