Katie Holmes off to Scientology boot camp

As nice as it must be to be famous and wealthy, I really think I’d rather be a platypus than Katie Holmesbot. Which is ironic, because Tom Cruise tends to treat his wife the way I imagine a wayward platypus should be treated. Katie has been forced to go to Scientology “boot camp” according to Star magazine. Though boot camp sounds a lot more like what cult experts call “reprogramming.” Apparently Katie had an original, independent thought, and that freaked Tom out. So he shipped her off to have her circuits rewired – though we’re not sure if she’s as good as new yet.

In the new issue of Star, we report exclusively on how Katie was recently secluded for three days at Gold Base, the remote, supersecret Scientology compound in Hemet, Calif., where she was put through a demanding schedule.

“It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes,” a Scientology insider reveals. “Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels.”

Katie’s intensive Scientology training and treatments have been accelerated in recent weeks, says another source, because she wanted to go to New York City without Tom to star in a Broadway play. But Tom stepped in and put the kibosh on her plans. And now Katie’s been going in for a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight — with little sleep or food.

[From Star]

I’m pretty sure that along with her GPS tracking chip, Tom also had some kind of Frankenstein-esq nodules installed onto Katie’s neck while she was at “Gold Base.” He can hook her up whenever he wants, charge her batteries, and reprogram her wiring to revert Katie to her factory default settings of “Blank.” And then fill her with whatever information or personality he wants. Though from recent interviews, it seems like she must be low on disk space or something, because Tom hasn’t installed much personality onto Holmesbot. Luckily she’s been reprogrammed, so I’m guessing that whole New York thing isn’t going to happen.

Header photo thanks to Popbytes.

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42 Responses to “Katie Holmes off to Scientology boot camp”

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  1. Anon says:

    So wait, he drives her up the wall with his controlling shit, and SHE is the one to get sent off for ‘adjustment’?

    This is so, so sick.

    If it was at Gold Base, she may actually have been in a celeb version of the ‘rehabilitation project force’. Google that to find out exactly how bad that is.

  2. Celebitchy says:

    “Though from recent interviews, it seems like she must be low on disk space or something, because Tom hasn’t installed much personality onto Holmesbot” LOLOL

  3. Anni says:

    this get weirder and weirder. i feel so sorry for katie. i guess she´s at a point where she cannot make decisions herself anymore.

  4. Cassie says:

    I really just wanna like, go rescue her and poor Suri. This makes me so sad!

  5. Syko says:

    I think it’s incredibly sad, but I’m not too sorry for her. She sold her soul to the devil, now she’s paying the price.

  6. xiaoecho says:

    Perhaps it’s what she wants. Why she would want it is another matter

  7. Neelyo says:

    If she has any free will left she must be so freaked out. She’s trapped and who knows what threats they must use to keep people with them.

  8. Anna says:

    Katie is just a young and impressionable android that got sucked in the Scientology scam.

    I find that frontpage pic of her and Tom freakishly scary, body-language wise (well, which pic of them isn’t, I know). She is trying to play it diva and at the same time, her outstretched arm and hand clearly signal “leave me alone, don’t touch me”. He is holding on to her upper arm firmly, a chastising and restraining gesture often used on slightly rebellious children. I don’t really feel pity for her anymore, because it’s her own damn fault she is where she is now (though god knows why she chose that in the first place), but I find it sad when I look at her once sparkly, girly eyes that have turned so blank and so old.

    Maybe someone should post a Chris Crocker-style “leave Katie alone Tom!” video on youtube.

  9. snappyfish says:

    I love how he always has a hold of her….as if she will bolt at any moment.

    I hope all she had to deal with was worth it….I do love the v v large red Hermes birkin bag, but having to deal with TommyGirl is too much to pay for it.

    She looks drugged in that picture.

  10. number 4 says:

    Beam her up to Xenu and be done with it.

  11. shannon says:

    I saw the original version of the Step Ford Wives about 3 weeks ago and i immediately thought of katie. That movie is creepy in a non blatant way.

  12. Because I say So says:

    eh…she deserves whatever she gets. She wanted to be famous and now she is, but for all the wrong reasons. The only reason people care is because they’re intrigued and repulsed by Scientology and the wackos that practice the “religion.” Really, would anyone care if she wasn’t married to Tom Cruise? Didn’t think so

  13. gg says:

    This is hard to watch. The poor woman. Poor, stupid woman. She’s fucked. 🙁

  14. Trashaddict says:

    Wow. Stepford Wives redux.

  15. Sasha says:

    Nice knowing you Katie. I prefer to remember during your days on Dawson’s Creek when you had that fire in your eyes and world at your feet.

    Adieu Adieu- parting is such sweet sorrow.

  16. Sasha says:

    Nice knowing you Katie. I prefer to remember during your days on Dawson’s Creek when you had that fire in your eyes and world at your feet.

    Adieu Adieu- parting is such sweet sorrow.

    *stupid c/p email addy thingy*

  17. Orangejulius says:

    I do feel sorry for her. Didn’t any of you do stupid things when you were younger? I know, I know about her wanting fame, etc. but I seriously think I’d have done the same thing. After all, she did have pics of him on her walls as a young woman and she did idolize him. She probably didn’t have any idea what she was really getting into. Even if she did, I bet she didn’t realize it would be as bad as it is.

  18. paris herpes says:

    Damn maybe he’s trying to make her starve herself to death…she looks like a ghost!

  19. eh sorry it won’t let me put the link in the comment so see the link on my name.

    my point is, Star magazine is running some old news.

  20. Anon says:

    Why does she deserve it? Do abused women deserve what they get?

    She already had a thing for him, and she was full-on loved bombed in their courting period. The Scientology thing at the time was portrayed as innocent and non invasive. Is it any wonder she fell for him?

    Once she was in, it all changed. Scientology practises a subtle form of mind control, and in her case she is literally surrounded by Scientologists and each opposing thought is immediately squashed. Auditing is basically an interrogation at a basic lie detector, so they don’t just control her behaviour, they control her thoughts too. Add to that that TC is a controlling man, so there’s basically no place to go, no head space, nothing left of Katie.

  21. poopie says:

    IN the beginning it was reported that she was with tinytom to help her ‘career’, but the controlologist tinytom seems to put the cancellation stamp on any new projects she is interested in, so WHY is she still with him? he gives me the creeps and i hate him; hope she survives this ! RUN KATIE RUN !

  22. Lala says:

    Women who are abused don’t deserve it, but I came from an abusive home and women don’t have to put up with it. I used to be so angry with my dad, but my mom stayed and allowed it. As women, we have to demand, DEMAND, respect. If we are not given the deserved respect we feel we should be, then leave. One person can only abuse someone who lets them, unless of course they are literally tied down, or in the case of that poor girl in Austria, trapped in a dungeon.

  23. mithcy says:

    This just goes to show you what a low-life Tom is. He should be ashamed of himself. Katie should have never married him. Now she has to deal with the consequences! 🙁

  24. Please says:

    She chose it and she has all the money to leave if se wants to.
    She is a 30 years old woman who chose to get married after a couple of months to a big movie star.

    Her father is a successful lawyer and she can just get a divorce.

    Feel bad for other women who don’t have the money and can’t walk out on their husband.

  25. Ramadael says:

    To be married to Tom Cruise was every women’s dream, now its a nightmare. With all the money and fame these people want more. Feeling sorry for katy ? what a joke she is the one that married the man to be more famouse ,rich, or what ever she wanted. Now she is paying the price ,I do not want her life with all the money…we call her poor….She needs to get out of this prison but now she has a child with this monster so what is she to do, lose the child or lose herself.She is lost.

  26. She' 29 years old says:

    This is a lesson for all the gold-diggers out there who marry for fame and fortune.

    That’s what you get when you don’t marry for love.

    At the age of 29, Katie is responsible for her choices in life.

    Stop running to the magazines all the time to complain about your husband.

  27. She' 29 years old says:

    Guess what? It’s not fun to be around someone you don’t love.
    Money and fame are not enough for happiness and now you learn the hard way.
    Serves her right.

  28. She' 29 years old says:

    Had she wanted, she could easily get a divorce, but she wants to continue to spend his millions and enjoy the fame.

    She is trying to pressure him to let her be away from him (and still spend his money…) so she goes to the gossip people to whine…

    Yu can’t have both. Choose between his money or being away from him.

  29. gg says:

    You can’t “easily” escape the Crutch of Controlology – they will take the child and she’ll never see her again. Don’t underestimate the Cult Crazies – they’re everywhere.

  30. pangkai says:

    poor, poor katie….( sob,sob ) it’s not yet too late to walk out from him ,girl! Get out while you still can! For suri’s sake! 👿

  31. Brittany McDonald says:

    She has said herself that she has been in “love” with tom since she was little, Is she still “love struck” does she know what is really going on? Can she get out of there? Does she want to? She is totally being controlled? What will her child have to go through? GOD please help her in this path she is on and please help to open her eyes to what is really going on! Amen

  32. fgh says:

    OK…this “story” is just SILLY!

  33. I'mNoHater says:

    When Katie was indoctrinated in to this cult, she was basically forced to sign a legally binding contract, forfeiting her parental rights to any future children she may have as a result of marriage to Tom (or any other Scientolobot, for that matter). I imagine that she was never truly clear about exactly what it was that she was signing at the time. She literally signed away many of her Constitutional rights, and also gave permission for the cult to pretty much have their way with her (in a manner of speaking). Surely, Tom had her so swept up that she was ready to do his bidding, especially as a naive and basically previously sheltered young woman. It was the first contract she had ever signed without her attorney-father approving and being present for. In any event, look at the price Nicole Kidman has paid; an almost non-existent relationship wih her children, thanks to the almighty power hungry and psychotic TomTerrific!

  34. janet says:

    katie doesn’t look like katie anymore. She looks like a living skelton of that friend of hers, posh something or other. No smile, no happiness. Even if she does smile, it’s not in her eyes. she is caught between a rock and a hard place. she is submerged in a cult. her parents need to rescue her. someone needs to rescue her.

  35. terri says:

    😐 If she dies a mysterious death, who will be surprised? She was a naive young person when she was interviewed for scientoloshit and being Tom’s wife. What about all 3 children? Will Nicole save her two?

  36. How could this happen in america?how far does it have to go before the law will step in.based on the pictures alone it seems to warrent an investigation.where is D.S.S. when their REALLY needed.this is america right?not north korea?

  37. jk says:

    Also, dude’s short.

  38. my sister wants to save katie from scientology.knowing this can happen in this country does bode well for us.its obvious to anyone with eyes,she looks like a junkie;and like shes being beat on a daily basis. maybe this will be the straw that breaks the camels back.

  39. i dont get the dudes short comment?but scientology is ALOT like north korea,and its funny that it could exist inside the u.s….i^ve seen a documentary on north korea,and when i was a scientologist we treated lrh like kim,there is this huge statue of his head in the connecticut church.&somthing funny one the church members tried to convince me that lrh is a better writer than stephen king.honestly i dont really care about katie holmes BUT SCIENTOLOGY IS A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH I WOULDN^T WISH ON MY WORST ENEMY.


  41. gg says:

    @ Timothy – LOL! That’s like saying lrh is better than Dr. Seuss – which is irrelevant to anything, UNLESS YOU ARE DEALING WITH $ciento-fiction anyway, which they are, But being a better sci-fi writer than another sci-fi writer, one that pretty much writes fluffy trash, is hilarious.

    Thanks for the inside view of the Brotherhood of Stoopids :: Stimpy high sign ::

  42. Tommie T says:

    Issue bluring travels from Scientology to Sociopath to Psychopath.

    Question is… is Tom Cruise enjoying himself at Katie Holmes dilemma.

    Her dilemma literally being life and death. His issue being “am I having fun yet?”