My God, you’d think that if Heidi Montag gave Life & Style an exclusive interview, the least L&S could do would be to choose a photo of Heidi that didn’t make her look like a puffy-faced gargoyle. But maybe that’s the editorial on Heidi: who gives a f-ck what she looks like, it doesn’t really matter at this point. Anyway, Heidi will do anything for attention, including reversing some of her extensive plastic surgery. She tells the tabloid that she wants to get her G-cup implants removed:

Just one week after the untimely death of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.

“I’m desperate to go back to normal,” she confides to Life & Style. “I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”

More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,”

Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”

And while Heidi tells Life & Style she is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever after the untimely passing of her confidant Dr. Ryan. “I feel trapped in my own body,” Heidi tells Life & Style.

“There’s just no fixing it,” she says. “Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything.”

[From Life & Style]

It’s “heartbreaking”? Um, no. You chose to do it! You weren’t born with them! My (natural) DD-cups are tragic at times too, but I suck it up and live with it and I don’t ever think that my back pain and inability to jog is “hearbreaking.” Heartbreaking is a fatal illness. Heartbreaking is not a famewhore who wants to get more attention by reversing her circus freak plastic surgery.

By the way, Heidi and Spencer were vacationing in Costa Rica together – despite their “split”. And you know how “devastated” Heidi was over the sex tape stuff? Well, the bitch still wants to be paid. TMZ reports that Heidi is speaking to Vivid directly about what kind of money she can expect from projected sales.

UPDATE: L&S just updated their story with Heidi’s quotes about her sex tape. Heidi claims she’s not even sure the sex tape exists (?): “I’m not aware of his filming me, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer. He’s a sneaky guy and has little cameras everywhere that he got from China. I’m mortified at the thought that people could be looking at me naked before I had the surgery.” Jesus. This bitch.