Nothing is as classy as cheap-ass hair extensions. The only comparable thing I can think of is Paris Hilton. So what makes more sense than Paris Hilton hawking cheap-ass hair extensions? Being the savvy businesswoman that she is, Paris seemed to figure this out, and decide to capitalize on it. I imagine the idea happened something like this:

[Paris sitting on a hot-pink settee with a zebra skin rug on the floor] “You know, I’m pretty cheap and tacky. What could I promote that’s also cheap and tacky?” [Paris looks around the room, befuddled.] “Damn it [insert least-favorite Paris Hilton animal’s name here at whim] stop chewing on my hair extensions!” And then it all came to her, in a moment of pure, inspired magic.

Mike Spinozzi, president of Sally Beauty Supply, at a press conference held on Thursday, trumpeted the partnering of Hilton, with her inescapable media profile, and Sally Beauty, which considers itself the world’s largest specialty retailer of professional beauty and hair care products. Spinozzi said, “It’s a powerful combination and we’re excited to work with Paris. She’s business-savvy and very creative.”

Hilton added, “I’ve been wearing hair extensions for years and have tried other products that didn’t work. When I started using DreamCatchers from my line I started using the best quality and styles. I’m always coming up with new ideas because I love coming up with fun hairstyles.”

Available in 10 shades, Clipin-Go by Paris Hilton was designed to be an “affordable yet chic” line of hair extensions. Although the extensions will only be available in an 18-inch length, the company plans to do variations of the look with different colors, lengths and styles.

[From Women’s Wear Daily]

What they really meant to say was, “We’re trying to sell some cheap hair crap. Paris is cheap, and full of crap. It’s the perfect union.” I’m always surprised that associating Paris Hilton with a product is a good business idea, but apparently it is, because people keep doing it. And every so often, some article will come out showing how much money she’s made just licensing her name and endorsing products. And in that moment, I seethe with envy. Then I remember that I don’t look or act like Paris Hilton. And I feel a lot better.

Paris also sported quite a two-banded diamond ring on the ring finger of her left hand at the event. Paris said that the ring was just a present from boyfriend Benji Madden, and not an engagement ring.

Still, the duo have already discussed marriage. “We want to stay together forever,” she said Thursday. “I wouldn’t do a Vegas [wedding]. I don’t know where or when but I do want it to be romantic.”

Betting that Nicole_Richie and Joel Madden will beat them to the altar, Hilton doesn’t mind following in her best friend’s footsteps another way, as well. “Nicole is our first friend to have a baby … Seeing Harlow, it really makes me want one. I’ve always wanted to have a baby.”

Until then, she’s content on practicing her mommy skills on Harlow. “I’m definitely ‘Aunt Paris.’ ” As for Benji? “He’ll babysit. I can tell he’s gonna be an incredible father.

[From People]

What an incredibly frightening thought. Paris Hilton procreating. She can’t even keep track of her dogs. I wonder if she understands that you don’t just go to a baby store and pick the cutest one out of the cage like she does with her pets.

Here’s Paris unveiling her new hair extension line in New York yesterday. E! made a comment that she looked “like a glistening statue,” and several sites have wondered about her appearance. All I can say is that it was pretty damn hot and muggy here yesterday. Most of us looked that shiny. And you know I wouldn’t defend Paris Hilton without reason. Images thanks to PR Photos.