From the mind of Kellan Lutz:
Kellan Lutz is a rock star. Kellan Lutz is gorgeous, he’s fabulous, he’s beautiful, he’s toned, he’s hot, his body is amazing. Kellan Lutz is going to walk out to his car. Is Kellan being casual enough? Yes, Kellan Lutz called the paparazzi on himself. It was a brief conversation: “Hey, dude, in about ten minutes Kellan Lutz is going to walk out to his car, and Kellan Lutz is not going to be wearing a shirt. You dig?”
Kellan Lutz cannot be stopped. Kellan Lutz is a f-cking movie star, damn it. Kellan Lutz is bigger than a f-cking sparkle vampire British bullsh-t Robert F-cking Pattinson. Kellan Lutz knows that Pattinson had to have his “abs” painted on for his shirtless scenes. Kellan Lutz thinks this is funny. Kellan Lutz knows that the studio regrets not hiring Kellan Lutz for the part of Edward. Kellan Lutz knows that every time a producer sees Kellan shirtless, they say “Get me Kellan Lutz, stat!” Kellan Lutz is doing this for his career. Kellan Lutz works out three hours a day for Kellan Lutz’s body. And Kellan Lutz knows it’s worth it.
Does Kellan Lutz feel the darkness creeping in? Of course Kellan feels it. But Kellan Lutz just takes off Kellan’s shirt and rides the wave. The wave’s name? Kellan Lutz, bitches.
Kellan Lutz on September 1, 2010. Credit: Fame.
He does NOTHING for me.
Kellen Putz?
kaiser you consistently crack me up.
nice!!
this guy annoys me..
Hilarious.
hahaha! Nicely done. There should be an award for funny bloggers.
I can see his chest hair stubble coming in- that’s gross. And his body is nice, but his neck is HUGE!
Everything about him makes me want to scrub my skin with a Brillo pad. Even his body. YIKES.
I have a friend who grew up in the OC, and a friend of hers used to date Kellan. She said he was a totally douche even before he was famous….I can’t even imagine how much worse it is now
He doesn’t do anything for me either.
I do not find him hot in the least.
He reminds me of a Geico caveman, except with shorter hair.
he looks like an ape
Kaiser – truly amazing!
He’s probably a complete and total asshat, but I’d still hit it (then broom him before I have to listen to him talk).
This was hilarious. Funniest thing I’ve read on the site!
his head really seems about 2 sizes too small for his body, doesn’t it? brains the size of a walnut, I’d say…
he is sooo gross
Wow his neck has gotten bigger.. my biggest turn off (huge necks) he used to be so hot.. Lose the neck !
Guys like this who have the constant need to show how buffed they are turn me OFF. It’s repulsive to me and the guy instantly looks like a self-conscious meathead to me trying to look casual.
I’m sure he looks at Robert Pattinson (or any popular actor without huge muscles) and doesn’t see why the girls prefer them over him. When he looks down and you can’t really see his face or the circumference of his neck or the look on his face, he looks good.
He is a horrible actor and I feel for him after the Twilight movies end, because I think it’s going to end for him too. He has NO chemistry or appeal – lifting weights doesn’t give that to you.
What a female Demi. I’m hot, hot, hot. LOL
Hi, I’m klutz aka loser.
Ok body, but a fug face!
You would be amazed how many celebs call the paps themselves or have their people do it. I have seen it happen over and over. He may be a douche, but dammit he is a pretty strawberry sparkle flavored douche!
ow!!! wow I’m horney now.
I tip my hat to this brilliant blog entry!
Nice body but he’s still sporting the bad helmut!
hmm, Blake Lively flaunts her boobs and its a smart move, Lutz does it and he’s just arrogant. Like they said in “Twilight”, he’s a kind of cute monkey-man, that’s about it.
He has a nice bod, but it’d be better if he didn’t wax his chest. You can tell he’s supposed to be fuzzier.
But when he’s photographed dead on he looks retarded.
@ GatsbyGal
Good thing you are not Jennifer Aniston.. cuz you just used the “R” word **gasp***.. just kidding 🙂
ugh.
F-cking brilliant! Hands down, your best and funniest post to date Kaiser!
i love you kaiser!
He has nice body and he is Definitely better than that Sparkling Vagina Pattison.
If he would have cast instead of fag rob as lead in those dreadful lesbian vampire movies then the movie wouldn’t have been so horrible.
Was that Kellan Lutz? LOL
I dated guys like this one, all they are interested in is showing off their bodies and they’re not shy about it ugh! They are good for accessories because they are so dense you can’t even carry a conversation
I rather have some normal looking guy than someone who is going to need a body lenght mirror more than I will
The body is fine, but the head is ridiculous…
I’ll take Robert Pattinson. =)
somebody do something with his hands and feet, pls. his got the ugliest hands and feet with an otherwise nice body.