Usually, the In Touch Weekly people send us excerpts of their big stories before they are released online. I kept waiting for this week’s In Touch cover story to come, but it never did. Just as well – I love Jezebel’s recaps. Well, it seems that much like that talkative maid who managed to witness so many fights, drinking, brawling and bawling from Angelina and Brad, this unnamed nanny has some intense dirt on the Family Jolie-Pitt. Dirt like… the kids curse. And they watch R rated movies. And Empress Zahara “strokes the bodyguard’s face like a pet cat.” How much do you f-cking love that image? We are all Empress Zahara’s kitties. She will herd us at her will.
The sensationalist cover lines are pretty hilarious: “Lets Maddox drive a car and drink wine.” At the same time?!?!
“The kids swear in French & watch R-rated movies.” Who doesn’t?
Anyway: What you find reading the story, of course, is that an unnamed nanny reports that Maddox was allowed to steer a car — on private property in France. Also, he once had a sip of wine that his mom was drinking.
Brad has collections of valuable artwork, that the kids touch with their greasy hands after they eat chips and ice cream.
When they watch R-rated movies, “Angelina lets them repeat the salty dialogue. She thinks it’s funny when Maddox curses.”
And! “Learning French has afforded Maddox and his siblings the ability to swear in a foreign language.” Are we supposed to be outraged by this? Because it sounds awesome.
Zahara was seen stroking a bodyguard’s face “like he was a pet cat.” But Zahara was also overheard screaming “merde!” at one of her bodyguards while playing in the pool.
“In many ways, all of the kids are acting out beyond their years,” claims the mag. “For example, at just six years old, Pax already has a ‘girlfriend’ whom he holds hands with at school.”
[From In Touch Weekly, via Jezebel]
What do I know? When I was six years old, my favorite movie was Beverly Hills Cop. And I learned how to cuss like a sailor from my parents, who are two of the most obscene people you’d ever want to meet. And giving a kid a sip of alcohol is a good way to de-mystify alcohol for kids – because most alcohol tastes like crap to younger taste buds, and you’re not treating it like something epic that they should never, ever touch. But, whatever. It’s all Angelina’s fault. She’s to blame. She was too busy being a bossypants at work and she forgot to be a bossypants at home.
I guess I don’t see anything too scandalous going on here. Heck doing all those things probably prepares the kids for the real world verses insulating them into a more protective cocoon.
My kids has had a sip of my wine before and my husband’s beer. No big deal! Also, I allow my 10 year old to watch R rated horror movies, My parents let me. I am also sure my 10 year old and 7 year old cuss each other out when they are by thereselves playing!
Reading about Empress Zahara stroking the bodyguard’s face like he’s a pet cat just made my day. She’s basically telling us that we are only good enough to be her pet.
VIVA LA ZAHARA!!!
So this is one of those ‘I heard on the internets’ type things, but I read somewhere about in France, parents are much more lenient about wine drinking than the counterparts in the US. There, culturally, kids are taught wine is for dinner, not to get shit-faced from and parents will let their kids drink, even in restaurants. But since I read it on the internets, who konws….
I f*cking love this family, no, seriously, I do. They are totally wild, normal, crazy, fun, out-of-their-minds, and plain hilarious. Yes, I say “normal” because almost every parent I know has given their kid a sip or two of liquor, taught them how to do something like curse or throw rocks. I mean, come on there is nothing shocking here. My friend’s four year old son strokes every woman’s hair who holds him. Children are tactile….jeez
wow! it’s all so shocking!
*eye roll*
and THIS:
“We are all Empress Zahara’s kitties. She will herd us at her will.”
more brilliance, more kudos, Kaiser.
The alcohol thing resonates with my childhood, I was allowed to drink waterdown wine and it took the whole drama of the ‘first’ drink, it was a gradual thing that nullified any notion of drinking behind my parents back.
I believe Zahara runs that family, and I love it. Don’t ever change Z.
Oh yeah. They’re all going straight to hell. *sarcasm*
Considering the fact that they go to other countries a lot, of course their kids drink wine;. as well as all those millions of child foreigners. Seriously, who cares.
Eventually, the truth comes out! I pity the 6 of them……..not because they have Pitt and Jolie as parents, but because they have NO stability in their lives. Yanked from state to state, country to country, how the hell could they possibly have any stability? Pity!
Are you f*****g kidding me? Sounds like 21st century kids to me. Who the hell is watching her kids? Mary Poppins? Give me a break. My kid is just like this and I still think he’s a wonderful beautiful child.
Children these days are more exposed to the culture. They are just being kids. WHO CARES!!
Zahara, I bend to your will. 🙂
Ok , I want to repost this here because I’d really like to know what you guys (those of you who have read it) think about the book Angelina by Andrew Morton? I just finished it and I thought is was really well written. In fact it feels quite close to the truth.I think what was written about her mom is spot on and logical in view of what we know about Angie and what she herself has said (she tells all when asked!). I don’t know, but for me, when I closed the book I thought “yup, that’s her.” And I still like her!
My Mom used to allow me to sip beer every now and then. I knew Z ruled that household with her gorgeous eyes. I luv it!
Zut alors! The kids know how to say “merde!” already?! Sacre bleu!
I think it’s adorable that little Pax has a “girlfriend”. When my son was in the first grade he had a girlfriend from whom he was inseparable. Alas, when they were both in the fourth grade, she broke his heart when she got interested in an older man (a sixth-grader). Woe.
Quite some countries are in favour of educating children in a natural weaning sort of manner. France – but also others – is a place where it is considered normal to let children take a little sip from their parent’s glass of wine to taste it.
By the age of 10, I’d have my bit of wine or champagne at family events. It was of course not a full glass like the adults but it is quite the honourable privilege to get your own real wine glass with some of Bacchus’ delight in it.
Very normal.
By the age of 15, I was having the occasional glass during dinner every once in a while.
It’s a gradual course of learning and trying…
Hell will be one crowded and fun place if having a sip of wine here and there, stroking people’s faces and cussing in French leads there. Zut, alors !
I had a boyfriend in kindergarten – we exchanged hand-made cards with glitter stuck on them during “craft time”, and once I gave him half my sandwich. Clearly, I was a giant WHORE…
What is with In Touch magazine and their obvious hate for Angelina. It is pretty scary if you ask me. That this rag has a staff so obsessed with one star.
wouldn’t surprise me one way or the other.
@hatsumomo: LOVE your nom de plume. made my day
I don’t get it. One magazine says Angelina is humorless, controlling, and bossy, while another says she’s wild and crazy. It just bugs people that they don’t know what goes on in the Jolie-Pitt house. It’s pretty funny to see people make nasty claims when they don’t know a darn thing.
Let them destroy and/or mar priceless art, after all, they’re rich. They don’t need to value anything.
My son when he was 2 and half, picked up on the words “oh putain!”(french – we live in france) which in english would equal saying “oh fuck!” I guess he heard us saying it like you know, I’d bang my toe against something “oh putain! ” something would go wrong and his dad would go “oh putain!” So anyway he started saying that, practically his first words!!! He’d fall down “oh putain!” he’d drop his cup ” oh putain!” We had a hard time not laughing because it was so funny but I never got mad at him for it because I figured if he knew it was bad he’d keep doing it to make me angry, so we just let it fade and it did. 🙂
I have a feeling little Pax is going to be the “ladies man” in that family. He seems to have a very vibrant and joyous personality. I think Maddox is the “brainiac” but Pax is going to get all the girls.
When I was little (and I mean under 5) I used to LOVE going around drinking the wine dreggs in everyones glasses when my folks weren’t watching, and didn’t turn into a booze-hag. And holy mother of jeebus, why are they getting pissy at Pax holding a girls hand, who doesn’t do that at his age!?
this is horsesh*t. they’re still boring. 🙁
Adopt Me
I guess we all will have to wait and see how these kids turn out. Only time will tell if all this moving around the world and free spirited technique works out for them or affects them.
merde lol
MERDE!!!!! This sounds awesome!! I wanna be in that family.
IN TOUCH is at it again . . . they freaking HATE Angelina!! It’s beyond funny and is bordering on psychopathic.
This “story” is ridiculous. They are trying to make Angelina and the kids sound horrible but they sound normal. I had a couple of sips of champagne at a wedding when I was 10. I went back and forth in the car in the driveway when I was 11. I see little kids younger than Pax holding hands and kissing each other. Nothing unusual about kids cursing. I don’t understand how stroking the bodyguards is horrible. I just don’t understand why the tabloids are trying to make Angelina and the kids sound evil and why Brad is never mentioned.
this all sounds so very awesome! i’d wanna be their nanny by day & sex slave by night!
I would be honored to allow The Empress to pet me.
I’m glad that nanny didn’t work for me or Child Services would have surely been called. Give me a break. Greasy hands, really???
@michael —
It would appear there’s going to be a job opening up soon.
This is most likely BS.
LOL you pretty much believe everything magazines write
Such crap.
This story is ridiculous I don’t believe it.
ummmmm
it all sounds like regular kid stuff.
I was allowed the occassional sip of alcohol when I was a kid and it tasted like crap. So now as an adult I rarely drink at all. I agree with Kaiser it totally demystified it for me, it was just this foul tasting stuff that grownups drink.
This sounds like my childhood. The sips of booze (lo and behold, I didn’t go super crazy in college like some of my peers who’d never tasted it because I would regularly have one or two sips of mom’s weekly white wine), the swearing (again with Momma – she swears like a sailor and so do I) and watching R rated movies. My mom knew (and made sure through threats of bodily harm) that I wasn’t gonna go knife my brother if I saw a violent flick. If your kids are mature enough to grasp that concept, why not?
Some of these Brangelina stories make me giggle. People are soooooo ready to make them out to be monsters when really, it seems like theyre pretty normal.
What a waste of paper. It is so offensive when celebrities appear to act like normal families in my suburbs. Disgusting.
wait. i thought the kids were raised solely by the nannies, with occasional appearances by their down-trodden father. so, really, isn’t the drinking and driving and swearing and womanizing and dominating the bodyguards the nannies’ faults?
Prefaced by a massive “if it’s true” – I do not think young children should watch R rated movies.
@Raven Sparrow – had the same thing happen with my 2yo, picked up saying “oh shit” from my Dad. Little kids cursing is so not cute but we did the same thing as you; don’t laugh or encourage and just let it fade. Now he’s a bit older and if he comes up with a naughty word is told not to speak that way – but it’s funny, I thought about it and the real lesson is “learn when you can curse, like to ‘impress’ kids in the playground, but not in front of grownups.” But of course you can’t say that to an 8yo either, kids just have to figure stuff like that out themselves.
Sacre Bleu, livia, you let a boy have half your sandwich? Paint on that scarlet letter, girl!
Honestly. There are a zillion kids in that family. Of COURSE they are going to occasionally be wild. And kids test their limits all the time, cursing, etc. I had small amounts of wine as a child, and I barely drink now, my dad let me steer the car in an empty parking lot when I was 10 (and had I actually known my dad earlier than that, he probably would have let me sit on his lap and steer when I was little, he did with my sister).
As for stroking the bodyguard’s face… hello? Affection for someone you see every day and who protects you is not unheard of.
I thought when she does bother to spend time at home she’s alternately brooding in her own wing of the mansion and verbally dressing down Brad, who is in a perpetual boozy sulk…
Such crap. I had a boyfriend from prep to grade 2 ish, and I’m gay now. Clearly it didn’t make me into some crazy guy obsessed slut. As for the swearing, my mum used to tell me off for saying things like “stupid” or “shut up”, and wouldn’t let me watch the Simpsons until I was about 10 because of the “bad language”. I now swear like a drunken sailor.
They’re just kids doing what kids do, if there’s even any truth to these stories. If they want to make Angelina look like a bad parent (but not Brad), they’re going to have to try a lot harder. Wankers.
“kids doing what kids do”????? if this is true, and Im not so sure it is..when my kids were little (babies) they may have had a sip of daddys beer a time or two..but I never allowed them to curse..if they did, I sat them down and talked to them about words children shouldn’t say! I read in a couple different places that those children pretty much do whatever the hell they want..no real restrictions at all..not a way to raise kids in my opinion..if its true!
I wonder what Zahara and Shiloh think when they see Tiana and Charlotte together in The Princess and the Frog.
@someone: If by “a couple of different places” you mean a couple of different tabloids, you would do well to take it with a couple of bushels of salt, never mind a couple of grains.
A few years ago while Brad and Angie were at some red carpet event, a reporter asked them what were the kids doing while mom and dad were at that event and Brad deadpanned, “They’re back at the hotel throwing spaghetti at the walls.” The next week the tabloids had major stories of the kids running wild in the hotel throwing spaghetti at the walls. The hotel actually took time to deny the rumor.
Nobody knows what goes on in the house, but I don’t think anyone has ever seen a photo of even one of the J-P children acting up or throwing a tantrum in public. They seem fairly well-behaved, at least outside.
My dad used to let my brothers and I drink the foam off his beer- we didn’t like the taste of alcohol back then so he didn’t care. We also used to sit on his lap and steer the car, on actual highways and roads. And we all drove underage when we visited our cousins on their farm. And my father has the saltiest language of any person I have ever met, so it was really funny to us when my 2 year old brother would repeat it (nothing is funnier than a 2 year old screaming out profanities).
We all turned out fine- college and grad school, functioning adults.
This is a non-story that the Minivan Majority will be all over.
I don’t think anything these kids are doing is wrong. But I do think it would present problems with school kids and other parents, if they were a normal family, not a celebrity family. A kid who cusses in school in front of a teacher is going to get expelled, and his Parents are going to be held responsible. Angie and Brad couldn’t handle this type of responsibility. They aren’t mature enough. So, they just school their kids periodically, and where/when they can control the other parents. I think it’s a sad way for kids to learn manners, social boundaries.
My dad let me “drive” his car up our driveway when I was 3. I had my first sip of beer at 5 (and it was my last sip until I was 16 because it tasted horrible).
This is such a non-story it’s ridiculous. Brad and Angelina sound like great parents who allow their children some freedom while keeping in mind what matters. Angelina is a UN ambassador, she sees the effects of poverty and genocide on a regular basis. And these people are up in arms because she’s not rattled by her kids saying naughty words? I bet if these cushy jobs the In Touch writers had were replaced with a job that required them to visit third world countries, they’d immediately pee their pants and fall into the fetal position, rocking back and forth for hours.
A sip of wine?!?! The horrors!! 🙂
Multi-lingual swearing? Awesome!
Are any of these kids tattooed and chain smoking yet? Or does that start at around age 8 in ‘Chateau Brat-gelina’???
What kid that age is going to sit thru an R rated movie and not be bored? Hell, they can barely sit thru Wall-E or some disney princess crap without losing interest. I call shenanigans on the Nanny’s story.
I swear I hate these trashy tabloids. Haven’t they sold enough magazines from lies about Bragelina and other legit celebs to be content and just focus on those horrid reality TV stars and their crap?
Do people actually buy into this BS?
@Darlene: Alas, they do. That’s how the tabloids manage to stay in business.
The only things I would frown on are
1) Handling art with greasy hands. We have greasy hands and a LOT of art worth a LOT of money (my sister got picked up by a major gallery and suddenly all our art is $$!), and never the twain shall meet — and we have a total, raucous kid-oriented house. It can be done.
2) Yelling at adults who aren’t the parents (every kid will have some yell-at-the-parents moment). My 83-year-old dad still tells the story of how he yelled “Hey, you!” to his Kindergarten teacher the first day of school and never, ever was tempted to say those words again. Except to tell this story. :^)
Also, no one has commented on this, but it is very normal for kids to try out driving in the country, ask any farming family! I was driving around at age 12 on my uncle’s farm and the local backroads, not just holding the wheel, but the whole shebang. In the country there are places where you can see for miles all around and know you’ll never get near traffic.
My parents made their own wine and would let us have a small glassful at dinner many times. (Knowing the effects of alcohol on the liver, I wouldn’t recommend it now.) As for the steering a car, how wonderful is that? I loved steering one entire road back to the house; it made me a better driver at 16, imo. Watching R-rated movies at those ages seems a little young, but until it’s outlawed, parents still get to decide things like that.
Utter crap. Anyone who works for them signs ironclad confidentiality agreements so I doubt it came from a nanny who actually worked for them unless they just love getting sued.
“we are empress Zahara’s kitties, she will herd us at will” Brilliant!!!!!!! Best thing I’ve read all week!
I almost believed this story, until I read the bottom line from the cover:
“How Brad was forced to put his foot down.”
Bwwwaaahhhhha. Yeah. Right. Like that is ever going to happen.
Anti-icon: A kid who cusses in school in front of a teacher is going to get expelled, and his Parents are going to be held responsible.
========================================
Don’t you believe it. Do you know what it takes to get a kid expelled from school? Unless you can prove the kid presents an immediate threat to others, it’s almost impossible. A ten year old girl was referred for counseling at our office for calling the vice-principal at her school a bitch to her face. Her mother blamed the school for “picking on her”. I explained to the mother that as long as she continued to rationalize the child’s misbehavior, the misbehavior would continue. It was like talking to a wall.
As for Angie and Brad not having sufficient “maturity” to be responsible for their children, do you have any specific examples to back that up, or are you just going by what you read in the tabloids?
I want to know how every single person that saw this article/cover from start to publish didn’t crack up laughing, especially the writer of the article. XD
Oh my Lord. As a kid, had sips of alcohol once in a while, watched R-rated movies, used cuss words after hearing a parent say them, and held boys’ hands. 😮
Here’s a big shocker: I once did those things all in the same day.
I know, right?
Gosh, I must be a rebel according to ITW. I was an army brat who moved around constantly, drank sips of daddy’s beer, and could swear in 3 different languages by the age of about 10ish. It’s amazing that I’m a functioning adult now. 😛
“so it was really funny to us when my 2 year old brother would repeat it (nothing is funnier than a 2 year old screaming out profanities).”
This is so true and many things 2 yos say sound like cuss words (truck, sit, duck, etc). I never realized I say ‘sh&t, sh&t, sh&t’ when I’m looking for my keys or phone until one of my kids started walking around saying that while looking for a toy around 18 months. I watch my language better, but it was very funny at the time!
These kids always seem well behaved in public so I’d say they are doing something right. They are fed, clothed and not abused so I think we can all hold off on the public flogging of Brangelina.
This situation with Brangelina is really funny. In these days of celebrity culture tabloids and their readers see their mission in deconstructing stars’ images that they so carefully crafted, in uncovering monsters inside stepford wifes and so on.
But it seems there is nothing to deconstruct with Brangelina as there is not much of “image” to begin with and tabs are really pushing it too hard.
It seems that now they have an image of an absolute monsters while in reality they are normal average family, rather boring honestly.
I think soon there will come a time when they will have an absolute power over tabs – they will be able to really do anything “bad” or “evil”, let tabs report it and NO ONE will care to believe 🙂 For example can you imagine what it would take now for everyone to believe they’ve brocken up? (After Jan debacle)
How do you herd a cat?
Angelina looks so beautiful in that picture. Very exotic. I don’t approve of children swearing and taking a sip of alcohol but it doesn’t sound like the end of the world either.
Wouldn’t it be funny if Pax becomes a nobel prize winner, Zahara a kindergarden teacher, Shilo a pilot and Maddox a doctor?
This is by no means a “warning” that these kids will not contribute to society in a positive way.
They will be the new generation of celebrity kids and will do much better than the ones that are active now.
I’m so tired of this “EMPRESS” Zahara thing. Cute Kid, but c’mon! Empress my #*+!
I can’t stand these 2, seriously, so I only read this post because I thought there would be more reasons for me to dislike them (woo hoo!). But this is nothing! No big deal at all! This is how the majority of people raise their children these days, although many won’t admit it. Sipping wine? Swearing in French? There’s not a whole lot of things funnier than a four-year-old saying a bad word.
@Shannon. agree.
and yeah, how does one go about herding kitties. bet Empress Zee would know.
i love Angie’s cover pic, but really, Out of Touch are just that…Out of Touch. this is just another non-story. obviously, they take their job of making me laugh very, very seriously. Next…!
to the *&#$@ person at 71, Zee is an empress. if you don’t think so, you dont have to post insults. she’s only five. and to the disliker at 72, sorry to disappoint you in your quest for disllikable material. Glad u contradicted youself too and lastly, it’s really awesome how i’m finding that you guys are finally realizing Brangelina are very difficult to dislike. tres magnifique!
I dont like Jolie at all, but I don’t see what the fuss is about here.
IS THAT A WEDDING BAND ON BRAD’S FINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW OLD IS THAT PIC?
#76 Brad was on the set of Moneyball last week in last pic the character is married. But he is wearing a gold band on the other hand in pics in Budapest.
The sound like MY parents. Seriously. The let me do all of these things and more. And I turned out just fine. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents. Lay off this family. They seem like they really have their shit together… pretty rare for Hollywood.
Bah. My aunt regularly gave me sips of red wine on cold Winter days and I, as an adult, drink not a drop of alcohol.
If the Jolie-Pitt kids turn into blazing alcoholics, it’ll be for other reasons.
waaaayy overblown. my grandpa used to let me “drive” his old ford truck (i was sitting on his lap and we were going about 10 miles per hour on a country road), i remember me and my sisters tasting wine as children, and i told my kindergarten boyfriend that i would love him forever and gave him a big sloppy kiss, which he promptly wiped off and then we proceeded to wallop each other.
I want a sound loop of Empress Zahara screaming Merde! so I can put it on my ringtone!!
I want a sound loop of Empress Zahara screaming Merde! so I can put it on my ringtone!!
Kind of a silly set of stories in my opinion. My mom gave me a sip of Beefeater Gin when I was around 4 and I didn’t want alcohol again until I was 16 and my mom got champagne for New Years. Because it was gross. 🙂
I never swore as a child. My mom told us that vulgarity was not cute or cool so we just didn’t do it. I don’t think it’s cute when little kids swear-even if they don’t know what they are saying.
I love Angelina n brad and their beautiful kiddies!! I think angle n brad are loving great attentive parents and are a couple who are truly in love giving and communicative and I think this will be a lasting loyal family!! Tabloids love to hate angie because truth be told she didn’t take brad he want to her because they have more in common obviously a family is what they yearned to have n ol saggy face aniston withheld that from him so boohoo heffa!! Team angie/brad xoxo
my parents let me try a sip of beer when i was like 10 and i absolutely hated it lol. of course that only lasted till i was 14 weee
Oh come on, that’s actually cute. I’m french and did a lot of those things when I was those kids’ age – like everyone here. Drinking a sip of wine, driving a car in the fields, having “boyfriends” and holding their hands, and of course the occasionnal cursing – merde, putain, saloperie ! I’m glad these kids are actually having a pretty normal childhood.
My first word, according to family lore, was sh*t. I have been in psychotherapy ever since and have lived the life of a societal pariah.