Michael Fassbender (my lover) takes on sexiest Victorian ever: Mr. Rochester

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My expectations are so low with this post, I’m not even expecting a dozen comments on it. Please, bitches – help a girl out, okay? I love me some Michael Fassbender, and I want to get to the point where I can write about his every movement and word, like I do with Clive Owen and Gerard Butler. Here’s the deal: if you show your love for The Fassbender, I’ll reward you with lots and lots of Forever Dongs, for weeks and weeks.

So let me tell where you know The Fassbender from: I’ve featured him on HGF several times, our friend Agent Bedhead is even more obsessed than me, and he’s been the best part of some good to not-so-good movies over the past few years. Here is his filmography – American audiences will know him from his work in everything from Band of Brothers, to Inglorious Basterds to 300. Art-house audiences may know him from Fish Tank, or Hunger. He’s half Irish and half German, and all SEX. If you want to hear him talk in his normal voice, take off your panties and watch this:

Ooooh, Fassbender. He’s so feline and seductive and slightly rough too. Which is kind of perfect for his next big role. Yes, Hollywood has remade Jane Eyre yet again, and The Fassbender was cast as… Rochester. I just… Jesus Christ, this man is perfect. This is perfect casting. Here’s the trailer:

He’s on a horse, he’s got sideburns, he’s dashing and complicated and he gives a great screen kiss… The Fassbender. It’s true love.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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69 Responses to “Michael Fassbender (my lover) takes on sexiest Victorian ever: Mr. Rochester”

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  1. Neve says:

    I love MF too- have you ever seen him in The Devils Whore -totally gorgeous (but also king of beardy=p)

  2. Kaiser says:

    Neve – No, I haven’t seen that! Is he sexy in it?

  3. Shelley says:

    Is he reasonably tall? I’ve never seen him in anything but he is darn fine looking!

  4. scotchy says:

    he is hot hot HOT, and amazing, his sex scene in fish tank, hot damn, i mean sure the premise is a little creepy but he is just unbelievable.i vote for him being a part of every HGF.

  5. BamaGuy says:

    He is a fantastic actor, and one of the handsomest. Perfectly cast as Mr.Rochester – cannot wait for this film, the trailer is so alluring (as is Michael, what a stud)

  6. Kaiser says:

    He is tall! I would put him at 6 foot-something. Maybe 6’2?

    scotchy – YES. We need to start a campaign. More FASSBENDER.

  7. sasa says:

    He is really hot, one of the hottest from HGFridays for me.

  8. Sisi says:

    Michael Fassbender…. RAWR!!!! He’s a way hotter Spartan than Gerard Butler to me!

  9. brin says:

    Kaiser…you are a fickle one! “half Irish, half German & ALL sex”…LOL!!!

  10. Neve says:

    (to Kaiser)
    OMG hes frigging beautiful in it- all romantic and tortured and stuff. you can watch it on 4od (but that might just be for uk residents). Its a tv drama set in the english civil war.

    thankyou for posting about him though- everyone i know thinks im weird for liking him=p

  11. Raven Sparrow says:

    I didn’t know him before now and I do agree he is goodlooking, wouldn’t mind him on HGF 😉

    That said, Mr. Rochester for me will always be Timothy Dalton.He was more intense and dark. I love the story of Jane Eyre.

  12. Eve says:

    Ok, Kaiser…I’ll say I find The Fassbender charming and somewhat sexy (I really do!) if you don’t post that handsome dude who creeps me out for some reason (Gandy) in the next HGF post. Do we have a deal?

    To be perfectly honest, I’d rather see Fassbender on every HGF post than that model — Gandy is handsome? Yes. But what does he have to offer besides his obvious beauty? I know, I know…you found some nice interviews but still…one of his goals is being the best male model in England/Europe.

    Now, the request. I’m torn between two dongs (deciding which is the “forever one”): Benicio Del Toro and Tahar Rahim. Will be extremely happy if you post any of the two.

    P.S.: According to IMDb, Fassbender is 6′ (1,83m).

  13. MissD'banville says:

    It’s funny – he reminds me of a lot of “normal” irish men …, not pretty boy good looking – not a-typical handsome..its the glint in the eye – you know he would be sooo good !!

  14. Ginny says:

    Kaiser hey I love him too, I discovered him in this supernatural mini series called Hex in England, where he played a Vampire (before the twilight hoopla)
    Your sooo right pure sex!!!

  15. nina says:

    I liked him until he bit up his girlfriend; he’s a freakin’ wife bitter :/

  16. Amy says:

    Have you seen him in Hex? I know a lot of people didn’t take to it but he was sooo sexy in it!

  17. Kaiser says:

    Nina – His girlfriend recanted and said she made up all of that stuff.

    http://agentbedhead.com/index.php/archive/now-about-this-pickle-we-find-ourselves-in/

  18. PrettyTarheel says:

    Loooove him in Inglorious Bastards and 300….this is such great casting for Mr. Rochester. I might not have picked him (cuz really, not as much of a household name as my fav Brad Pitt), but wow, I am totally into this.

  19. alm says:

    he’s super hot FOR SURE but something shady with that girlfriend biting story… he seems like one with an edge.

  20. Samigirl says:

    Oi. He IS attractive. And what an accent 🙂

  21. Sarah says:

    My favorite Fassbender picture is the one where he’s jacked and wet and wearing an A-shirt. Holy hell, he looks like he would know exactly what to do with it.

  22. Kelli says:

    OH…. HE’S F-IN DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Tammy says:

    Michael Fassbender – Magneto

    James McAvoy – Professor X

    X-Men First Class – June 2011

    The movie may self-combust in hottness before it is even shown!!

  24. Eve says:

    What the hell is this story about him biting his girlfriend? Is it related to a fight during which he bit her (that would be bad) or biting her shoulder while giving to her from behind (which would be really good)?

  25. Kaiser says:

    Eve – Go to that Bedhead link and she’s got the whole story. I don’t think he’s abusive. I think he just loves crazy bitches. *swoon*

    But yes, biting isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker.

    Keep the Fassbender comments coming!

  26. ann carter says:

    TOBY STEPHENS is and will always be Rochester.

  27. neptune0909 says:

    SWOON! @Ginny, that’s where I first noticed him too, completely cheesy show but fun and the Fass is smokin hot in it. Can’t wait to see him as Mr. Rochester!

  28. Eve says:

    But yes, biting isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker.

    Yup, let’s hope that if he ever bit her, it was a crazy-dirty-naughty-sex-related thing.

  29. Wif says:

    Yes, ann carter. Yes, yes, yes.

  30. scotchy says:

    @kaiser campaign is a go, i am making digital posters to go with my FASSBENDER, FASSBENDER, FASSSBBBEEENNNDEERRRR chant.

  31. Jess says:

    HEX!!! Oh my God, he was ridiculously hot on that show…

  32. Carrie says:

    LOVE Michael Fassbender. I couldn’t get all the way through “Hunger”, it was that realistic and powerful (and I have a weak stomach for those types of stories.)

    But “Fish Tank” (which I paid $14 to rent from OnDemand) is incredible. And he is talented and gorgeous and complicated and I just…swoon.

    X Men First Class is genius: the story will bring in all the geeky fan boys, and the casting (McAvoy and Fassbender!) will bring in all of us horny ladies. WIN!

  33. Chickie Baby says:

    Hey, all of you…get in line…I’ve had a jonesing for the dreamy Mr. Fassbender for a long, loooong time now. He’s a darn fine actor, but I could look at him forever and be perfectly happy. (And I’m with you, Kaiser, in that whole Clive Owen/Gerry Butler lust-thing you have going on. Can’t explain it, but it’s there.)

    We need more Michael, always! How ’bout every Wednesday–you know, give us a dose of him just because we need it!

  34. Beth says:

    Mr. Rochester is not sexy. He hid his maniac ex-wife in the attic and then got all mangled by the end of the book. Jane Eyre is a “feminist” because she chooses a crazy, deformed lover. Er….no. Stupid book.

  35. girl says:

    Sounds like a fun guy. He likes In-n-Out burgers and Harleys? Now he is totally on my to-do list. Well, that is if I wasn’t very happily married:)

  36. Eve says:

    My expectations are so low with this post, I’m not even expecting a dozen comments on it. Please, bitches – help a girl out, okay?

    And I can see there are 35 posts (36 with this one) and counting…three times more than what you expected. You shouldn’t underestimate us, horny bitches 😉

  37. Novaraen says:

    I loved him as Azazeal in Hex. Hotness!!!…even though he plays an evil demon. 😉

    Oh and in 300?…..swoon!!

  38. Cleo says:

    It’s Kevin Kline Resurrected or Cloned, whichever.

  39. fofa says:

    I love this post. That there is walking sex-gorgeous eyes, delicious hands… I’ve loved his work for sometime and look forward to seeing more of him.

  40. gaugustaus says:

    Beautiful man candy

  41. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Squee, I know this may be lame but I love Jane Eyre ever since I was really sick for a week as a child and my mom got me this book on tape to listen to since I couldn’t watch tv (any light gave me a headache). Anywho, fell in love with the story and the trailer looks amazing … I have high hopes … well crossing my fingers. Listen here Hollywood … you fucked up Pride and Prejudice but you better do this one right … anyone know who the girl they cast is? I don’t recognize her …

    … and what is this about new xmen movie with all the hotness … I’m a girl with an inner geek … both are squeeking so loud I can’t hear.

  42. Camille says:

    He is creepy hot.

    I remember him best from the kitschy yet sexy TV series Hex. He was very sexy in that, even for a Demon – NOT a vampire BTW!
    I also saw him recently in a movie where he played a psycho Nazi in a horror movie called Town Creek and I’ve also seen him in another horror called Eden Lake. He’s a good actor and has some compelling charisma.

    I see that he is rumoured to be in The Hobbit! That means there is a good chance that I may run into him in the city that I live in! (Peter Jackson usually makes his films in the city I live in 🙂 )

  43. Sefa says:

    Here I am, showing off my Fassy love! Do share more! I’ve never heard his Irish before today, and I’m actually excited for the Jane Eyre movie. It looks all moody and creepy, too.

  44. I Choose Me says:

    Oh gosh, how cute was he when he was doing the Magnum P.I. theme song. He’s yummy! (with a spoon) Also, I love period films so I was already intrigued by the Jane Eyre trailer. Add Fassbender to the mix and I’m so there.

  45. gemmaa says:

    YUM. Just saw him in ‘fish tank’. Just YUM.

  46. I Choose Me says:

    Hey! Jamie Bell is in this too? Double squeal.

  47. kissmee says:

    he is ok i guess..may i suggest a few more posts and a head start at the HGF?i just want to make sure he is worthy..you have to understand that being clive is not easy 😉
    also this new jane eyre movie looks bloody awful…just no..

  48. Mairead says:

    Oi, Kaiser – you keep that Scottish dumpling; the Kerryman is MINE!!!!!

    (as an aside, I’m loving the fact that others are calling him The Fassbender as well 😀 )

  49. Kaiser says:

    Mairead – The Slut Dagger awaits you, love.

  50. Anoni Mus says:

    Mmmmm Fassbender. I want to hear him talk in german…preferably dirty, dirty things.

    He’s very hot, and you have my permission to add him to every HGF!! 😉

  51. Liana says:

    ANOTHER lover? Kaiser, how do you keep them all from finding out about each other?

  52. Yasmine says:

    OMG that was like Bronte porn to me! Check out his tush @ 1:40 Saweeeeet! So take back your comment Beth!

    Also speaking of HGF and its prized dongs, your Gandy boy has a blog on British Vogue, very entertaining!
    http://www.vogue.co.uk/blogs/david-gandy/

  53. Lentil says:

    @Ginny and others, I am so glad that someone else thought of Hex. I cannot wait to see this with my friends and be all, ‘See? Remember all those years ago when I went on and on about the hotzor from Hex, and you all mocked me? IN YOUR FACE.’

  54. leZombi says:

    I watched Centurion just because he was in it. Awful movie but delicious eye candy.

  55. curriermurph says:

    fish tank was one of the best films last year and he is fucking creepy hot. Not to mention the hottness that is band of brothers, look at the guys that have come out that. Sex for days.

  56. Athena says:

    Yum yum and yum. Keep him coming!

  57. jess says:

    love the Fassbender… makes me wish I was a Fass

  58. Micki says:

    Sorry, I do like this type (blue eyes, dark hair)but he didn’t shake me in the trailer.I still prefer Toby Stevens’ Mr.Rochester and I still find Richard Armitage sexier:)

  59. isa says:

    eu achei o michael fassbender bastante atraente e sedutor em inglorius basters amei o seu personagem no filme,ele eum dos homens mais lindos que ja vi ate hoje! alto,olhos claros,lindissimo…enfin ele e tudo de bom mulheres matariam se pra ser sua esposa ou melhor sua … AMENTE!!!!!!

  60. Mairead says:

    Oi Kaiser, did ye ever get this Guinness ad on your side of the pond?

    The Fassbender, lepping off the Cliffs of Moher, swimming to Amerricay and stomping off to the pub with an angry-hot look on his face, all to a soundtrack by the late Mic Christopher.

    And that wink at the end – oh my word! 😳
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y-UB5wXitw

  61. Cherry says:

    I already posted in HGF that he makes me moist. I first saw him on HEX. He’s even sexy in that movie about Bobby Sands. I’m on my knees begging (hmmm…that takes my mind places…gotta go)

  62. Kaiser says:

    Mairead- ZOMG! That ad is The Sex.

  63. Mairead says:

    I agree, much better than that “conceptual” tosh they foisted on us for years – surf turning into horses and the like.
    The best Guinness adverts have always been those that told a story, like the iconic “Tá siad ag teacht” (they are coming) ad from the 70s.

    Especially when they involve a hot and bothered Kerryman who looks like he’s ready to kick in your door and give you a damn good seeing to. 😈

  64. Patrice says:

    Kaiser, I could not agree with you more about this one!!! But I think part of the problem with Bender (that’s what I
    call him anyway) is that he becomes so completely transformed in all of his roles (the sign of a good actor) that a lot of people probably like him but have no idea that they have seen him in so much stuff before!

    In fact, I just watched (and went gaga over) “Inglorious Basterds” last week and would have had NO IDEA from the header pics here that that was him I loved in the film! And then when you mentioned “300” all of a sudden it clicked for me and I was like OH MY GOD. Bender was “Stelios”!!! Lol. Love him : )

  65. Laura says:

    That is one sexy voice. and man.
    yummy.

  66. Sophie says:

    @Mairead, c’mon that ad with the surf and horses was pretty cool. but his one was definitely my favourite. and I love that song too, it was our graduation song from secondary school!

  67. Mairead says:

    Jesus I’m old. I vaguely remember our end-of-year thing (no Graduation Songs in our day!) featured one of my classmates doing the dance from the “Anticipation” Guinness advert – you know, the really famous one with Joe McKinney in a blue shirt dancing around waiting for his pint to settle, which was just released that year. 😳
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5HU5axz6GI&playnext=1&list=PL5D0CFF0E753F5D76&index=18

    Skylarkin’ is a good album, I should dig it out. Shame Mic Christopher died before the advert was released.

  68. jemshoes says:

    Sorry, but this guy is not dark and brooding enough to play Edward Rochester! OK, maybe with coloured contacts in his eyes … 🙂

  69. Chrissy says:

    You articulate my thoughts/feelings on Fassbender perfectly: “half Irish and half German, and all SEX”

    I’m really enjoying all your posts on Fassbender. They bring a smile to my face! Keep them coming! More more more