Is there anything these Jersey Shore kids can’t do? I watched Barbara Walters’ “10 Most Fascinating People” show hoping to get some decent quotes from Sandra Bullock, who wasn’t even interviewed. Instead, I was treated to an interview with the Jersey Shore gang in which they defended themselves to Barbara and then defined their stupid insider words, like “Smush,” “Grenade” and “GTL.”
That segment also revealed the many ways that these kids are raking in the big bucks. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino earned $10 million this year, not just 5 as previously reported, from his endorsement deals and iPod app. J-Woww has a tanning line out and a clothing line, and now there’s news that she has her own book coming out on “dating.” This is from the girl who slept with Pauly, but I guess of all the Jersey Shore women she’s had the least hookups in the house. (See diagram below, although I don’t watch this show to properly judge.) Anyway I fail to see how she’s qualified to put out a dating book, but I guess that doesn’t matter when it comes to making money.
Jenni “JWoww” Farley announced on her Facebook page this weekend that she, too, is throwing her hat into the writing ring to become a woman of letters. According to Farley, The Rules According to JWoww will offer “a new spin on the dos and don’ts of dating, from ‘smushing’ guys to avoiding booty calls to finding the guy of your dreams.” Rife with “empowering advice for a new generation of self-assured young women,” the book will offer “shore-tested secrets on landing a mint guy, staying fresh to death, and kicking the competition to the curb.”
The dating guide, which will be published by HarperCollins imprint William Morrow, goes on sale February 8, 2011.
[From Celebuzz]
The book is being released just in time for Valentine’s day, when all the single girls with aspirations of being like J-Woww can get wasted and get their fake tits out to land the “guy of their dreams.” I’m sure he’s heavily bronzed, roided up, and has his own special language with his buddies through which he puts down all the women stupid enough to put out for him.
Update: here are more photos of Jenni on Halloween. Credit: PRPhotos
She’s so demure-especially in the dress with the cut out so we can see the tattoo on her side. I will confess to watching several episodes in the first season-but it’s all the same: they get drunk which makes them even more stupid than they normally are, and then they have huge ridiculous arguments-hence “the drama”, plus the dancing/tanning/sex. I’m amazed that they have a following.
I actually like her and believe it or not, she has a good head above those big boobs.
I don’t see her happily married-so what makes her qualified to give others dating tips? Uch. I know how to have a one night stand, j-woww, I don’t need to buy a book to tell me.
Also-wth is up with her face? She has a terrible complexion!
Bitch has the face of a 40 year old.
Competition? You dont catch a guy, you build a relationship with one. Relationships are not abotu ‘getting’ the right person but about everything you do with them AFTER you have found them.
You know, the actual work part, the intimacy thing. I doubt her book teaches any of that.
Porny smurfette is going to advise us on dating tips. I’d rather hear it from an ugly fat older woman that actually has had a successful relationship. Who funded this book?
All I can say though, is props to her for milking this show. Get it while you can.
i think she looks much improved from her time on the show.
Maybe her royalties will let her replace those bargain-basement plastic boobs.
I hate this show. I can’t even appreciate it to laugh at them – they’re loathsome idiots who seem as if they belong in the 80s.
teehee: You put way too much thought and too many big words in a post on JWow. The girl’s name is Jwow for fucks’s sake -lol- This book is ridiculous and if it ends up on the best seller list I give up on humanity … I’m just done …
@sapphire: I agree. Those implants are horrible.
She punched the Situation in the face. I’m not sure she should be the one to give advice about guys.
And doesn’t anyone remember when Puck got kicked out from the Real World for spitting in someone’s face? And now it’s encouraged to slap and punch each other. Awesome, MTV, awesome. Thanks for launching a douchebag’s 10 million dollar career.
@Happymom, I was trying to think of the right word to describe her and you nailed it, demure. Like if the ghosts of Grace Kelly and Princess Diana had a daughter, it’d be her.
@Roma, c’mon, it was the Situation. She punched a guy that calls himself The Situation. There are a lot of reasons to find her deplorable, that is not one of the them 😉
Sigh, I’m going to direct my anger at the publishing house that is putting out this “book.” So wrong. So so so wrong.
If Blake Lively were a brunette she’d look a lot like JWOW in that middle pic of her with the pigtails.
Woof!
Yes, her implants are horrible. But so is that hairstyle, with the windblown pig-tails. I’d take advice from her, right after I took an etiquette class from Snooki. (So, in other word, NEVER!)
@ Gabriella – As a 40 year old woman, I take offence to that! 😀 My face doesn’t even look that bad.
Ok so what do smush & grenade mean?
@Bodhi: Smush is kissing/making out and a grenade is the ugly friend that someone distracts so you can smush with the hotter chick. Sigh. Stupid Jersey Shore marathon was on while I was hungover.
Woah, from the thumbnail I thought this was about Catherine Zeta Jones. And the weirdness of Catherine Zeta Jones in pigtails and a schoolgirl get up. It’s J-Woww. I feel secure again.
Wait a minute, can she even read a book????
i don’t know who this chick is but from the looks of her i’m guessing her rules go something like this:
1. get enormous, comical boob implants
2. repeatedly “forget” to wear panties
3. drink lots of tequila
4. do it standing up behind the 7-11
5. put STD clinic on speed dial
Isn’t the very idea of one of these cretins publishing a book one of the seven signs of the apocalypse?
Ah, thanks Roma. Smushing… how strange
No way this chick is 23/24 bc I’m 22 & this broad looks like she’s a good 10-15 Yrs older than me. Yikeserz!
I can’t believe she hasn’t gotten her boobs fixed! She definitely has enough money, so she must actually like them! Under the muscle implants would look WAY better.
jesus, they are all SO TAN.
Well JWOWW, we have rules, too. An important one being that if you’re over 8 years old, you don’t wear your hair in side pig-tails.
Unless you’re in the bedroom with your significant other.
oh please, whoever buys this book is just as dumb as them! These are the last people on earth I’d take any advise from…that goes for the kartrashian tramps too
If she would lay off the tanning, smoking and booze, in addition to toning down the whore make-up and clothes, she could actually be an attractive girl.
Idiocracy is real.
The sad thing is that the book will likely sell… and even if it doesn’t, these disgusting people are still filthy rich and will likely never have to work a day in their lives. (Notice I don’t say ‘another’ day. x_x)
Wow. I can honestly say, with pride, that I didn’t know anything about the interactions these people have had on that show until seeing that ‘chart’… You could get herpes just being in the same room with any of these people. Not surprising the condom company wanted to sponsor Snooki’s party.
If that is really the official book cover.. That is awesome. She is wearing the same bra and skirt as she did for a Halloween costume??? On a book cover?
KKKKLLLLAAAASSSSYYYYYYY
@Roma, IMO, punching the Situation in the face makes you incredibly qualified to give advice about guys!
@#31- I didn’t even *realize* that. =_= Some ‘Halloween’ costume… Dressing like a whore for Halloween doesn’t count if you’re a whore in real life.
And yes. ‘K-for-Kardashian’ klassy.