Whoever would have thought that working for Heather Mills would be anything less than a rewarding, satisfying experience? Well, her publicist for one. After an astounding four years working for Mills, Michele Elyzabeth is finally fed up – and she’s not going down quietly. After a drawn-out argument in which Mills berated her, Elyzabeth quit.

But to make the story even better, Elyzabeth didn’t just quit, she decided to talk to Extra about it – and confirmed that Heather Mills is just as horrendous as everyone says. Not that it’s a surprise, but Heather is always claiming the media is unfair to her and that they don’t really know her. It seems Elyzabeth knows her pretty well – though I’m guessing she wishes otherwise.

If Heather Mills is looking for some positive PR, she’s going about it all wrong. On Thursday, Mills’ publicist quit after four years, calling the former Mrs. Paul McCartney “an impossible person.” In a statement to Extra, Michele Elyzabeth says,

“After working for Heather Mills for four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person.

“Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me “stupid.” I reminded her that she was not “God” and she answered, ‘I will never ever talk to you again.’ I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts.

“On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press have reported about her.”

[From OK! Magazine]

I can’t believe anyone could work for Heather Mills for four years. The kindest nun would bitch slap her after two days. Heather has bitched and moaned about how horrible the British press is towards her, and seems to think she’s got a better reputation in America. Thus she bought a condo in Manhattan, planning on reaping the benefits of her misperceived social status. I, for one, will be camping outside said condo wearing assorted sandwich boards with various offensive phrases.

In fact I’m thinking I’ll hold some sort of contest, and the top five suggestions will be emblazoned on some kind of interchangeable sandwich board panels, which I will then wear around Heather Mills’ neighborhood. And by “emblazoned,” I mean me and my Sharpie. And by “panels” I mean cardboard. I think the first will be “Go away you one-legged hussy.”

Here’s Heather Mills at Gatwick airport outside of London on July 19th after taking a luxury holiday to Necker Island with friends and family. In surprising news, Heather Mills has friends. For the life of me I can’t figure out what her sign says, but I’m choosing to believe it’s probably something rude.