Well John Mayer is back to his manwhoring ways. Not that anyone’s surprised – the only shocking part of the revelation was that it took him so long. Okay in all honesty Mayer probably waited all of half an hour to boink a new chick after he and Jennifer Aniston broke up. And it was only that long because he had to stop to fill up his gas tank and grab some Doritos. Nothing helps you out with the ladies like a guitar and some nacho cheese breath.

But In Touch is officially (as in “stop the presses!” officially) reporting that Mayer drunkenly hooked up with a cocktail waitress last night – and he also claimed he didn’t want to have the number one song on the charts.

While he may have started a whirlwind romance in Miami with Jennifer Aniston a few months ago, John Mayer ended his two-month world tour by partying with a different blonde in, yep, Miami. (This time around, the blonde was a cocktail waitress, not an A-list actress.) The singer was as talkative as ever on-stage, admitting, “We’re all drunk. Only on-stage can you openly drink on your last night.”

He then went on about the downsides of fame: “I don’t want to have the number-one song. I want to be number eight. It’s a much better place to be. Because as soon as you become fashion… you get crushed.” And though he didn’t mention his ex Jennifer he did say at one point, “I had a conversation recently and a lot of tears were exchanged.” Post-show, John went to the club SET on South Beach with his waitress, where they stayed until about 3 a.m.

[From In Touch]

So it’s pretty clear where In Touch’s loyalty lies. And if you’re unclear, click the link to the article, and then take note of the article’s address. What an unfortunate (and I’m sure accidental) place to cut off the title: “John Mayer ends tour with cock.” I’m sure it’s just some requirement of their technical programming.

I love John’s great quotes from the night. “Only on-stage can you openly drink on your last night.” I think he meant “Only on your last night can you openly drink on-stage.” But I could see how all the drunkenness might make the technicalities of that complex sentence a little tough to get out. And then the thing about wanting to be number eight instead of number one.

That’s like when I claim I don’t want to be thin, and it’s really much healthier to be chubby. No one believes it, you’re just trying to convince yourself. We’d all like to weigh 20 pounds less and have a number one Billboard single. It’s a universal truth. But when you can’t have that, might as well settle for nailing a cocktail waitress.

Here’s John performing in concert at the Cruzan Amphitheatre in West Palm Beach on Sunday night. Photographer: Michael Allen. Images thanks to WENN.