Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned at 1:30 PST for felony grand theft

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I know this is totally going to ruin my day, because now I’ll be waiting for hours and hours, like a crackhead waiting for Crack Santa on Saint Crackhead’s Eve. So, yes, all media outlets are in agreement: Lindsay Lohan is going to be arraigned today on a charge of felony grand theft for her crack heist of a $2500 necklace. The arraignment will be held at 1:30 pm, Pacific (Crack) Standard, and Lindsay’s presence in court is required. I can already hear the crack wails now… but if that’s what I’m expecting, you know I won’t get it. Anyway, I’m already disappointed. TMZ announced that Lindsay won’t be handcuffed and dragged, kicking and screaming into a police car while Samantha Ronson points and laughs. There will be no “perp walk” – Lindsay is going to “surrender” at the courthouse when she comes in for her arraignment. Then she will have yet another booking photo taken (a new one!) and then she gets bail.

So… no jail, for now. The bail will likely be low, and Mother Crackhead will only have to hustle a little bit for the money. However, if convicted of the felony, Lindsay would end up going into a California State prison. I also think this “surrender” was probably pre-arranged. Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Holley met with the prosecutor on Monday, and I suspect this is the arrangement that was negotiated.

Just a few more things – Mother Crackhead a “source” puts these words in Blohan’s mouth: “I honestly feel I did nothing wrong.” And “I’m pleading not guilty because I’m NOT.” Which is a telling double negative! Also, TMZ compiled a list of all of Lindsay’s known crack thievery but they didn’t even get to some of her most ingenious heists, like that one in Paris where she also “borrowed” some jewels – forever.

These are photos of Lindsay visiting the Santa Monica courthouse on Tuesday. She looks like hell, right?

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Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

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87 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned at 1:30 PST for felony grand theft”

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  1. Rita says:

    Will there be a pre-game analysis and half time show? Love seeing Lilo with her new bff.

  2. Jen says:

    Maybe her next starring role is in “The Dana Plato Story” and she’s just really, really METHOD.

  3. The Truth Fairy says:

    This will put her over the edge mentally. I doubt she will ever recover from this – professionally, mentally, etc. She has reached the abyss.

  4. brin says:

    Kaiser you are hilarious. We are all addicted to Blohan and we are guilty because we are! (Double positive).
    And yes, she looks like hell.

  5. QUEST says:

    This wouldn’t faze Lohan at all, she’s addicted to the life.

    Maybe she would have a good botox session before the arraigment today to add that extra pout to her lips when she lays down the crack-head lies to the court.

  6. Kaiser says:

    Rita – CB and I are going to try to embed a live feed if we can. Fingers crossed.

  7. SolitaryAngel says:

    I’m so ready for this chick to get what’s coming to her…
    And I DON’T mean a role in the Superman reboot! More like, Superman’s boot in her ass.

  8. happygirl says:

    @ Rita – I just love you. That’s some funny sh*t. I’m breaking out the popcorn about 4pm EST.

    @ brin – Haha! Agree on all counts!

  9. brin says:

    @happygirl…hi! This is better than a Lifetime movie.

  10. lucy2 says:

    At least she can save money on getting new head shots every few years – she can just use her portfolio of booking photos.

  11. Dawning Red says:

    I hope her new orange tan matches her jumpsuit!

  12. Dani says:

    She has tracks on the inside of her arm. Heroin?

  13. MarenGermany says:

    well guys, even we get all disappointed (again), there is always a bright side.

    One way or another.
    this WILL break her neck. She screwed up again, and the public is fed up with this whore, wont believe a word she´ll ever say again.
    Like @TheTruth said, this is ABYSS!

    so, from that angle, not being arrested will actually in the end be a lot worse for her, than being.

  14. PrettyTarheel says:

    Dear Santa,
    Christmas was December 25th? Should I be thanking Cupid for this thoughtful gift? I have to point out, though, I specifically wrote, “Lindsay Lohan in HANDCUFFS, being DRAGGED from a CRACKHOUSE.” Was that too difficult to arrange? I would have settled for a Whitney’s crack-den type setting-you didn’t have to go all the way to the Courthouse scenario.
    Love,
    PrettyTarheel

    *sigh* I will be waiting for this event all day!

  15. echolocate says:

    I feel mean for wanting her to finally face some serious consequences, but I also think she’s gotten away with a number of things for which she was never charged (including other forms of physical violence, like that time she threw a glass at Sam Ronson when she was sitting with friends).

    If she’d faced real consequences for her earliest antics, and if her mother had stopped with the constant excuse-laden, martyr narrative, she may have come out of things okay. But she didn’t face serious consequences. With her momager’s bad guidance, she became a lousy person. People want to see her to get her comeuppance now, and I even think a comeback is close to impossible. She’s made everyone forget what they liked about her to begin with, and we have so many better, fresher faced young female actors to choose from now. Her window has closed.

    She’s like Sheen in that both are malevolent asshole addicts, rather than hapless, mentally ill, or stressed to the breaking point (Downey, Britney). I wouldn’t allow Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen in my home.

    The thing I don’t get is that they had to have fought tooth-and-nail to get her in the business when she was a child. Did they think the competition ended once she got famous, and she’d coast forever on society’s good graces?

  16. Marie says:

    She will be smiling walking in to court and smiling walking out of court.

    On a side note I hope if I am ever arrested on a felony they wait for my attorney to get back into town and let me just appear in court to turn myself in. LMAO yeah right shit doesn’t happen like that here in Illinois.

  17. Jen D says:

    Hahahahahahahahaahhahah!

    There, I got that out of my system. I’m enjoying this, because there’s a good chance that she’s going to worm her way out of this. For a little while I’m going to enjoy the thought of her finally going to jail for all her crack thievery.

    Also, “like a crackhead waiting for Crack Santa on Saint Crackhead’s Eve”? Classic.

  18. Melanie says:

    They just showed her on the Today show. She got her hair “did” last night. LOLOL.

  19. Waldemar says:

    “… that Lindsay won’t be handcuffed and dragged, kicking and screaming into a police car while Samantha Ronson points and laughs.”

    Fantastic mental picture. Shame it will not happen.

    Hopefully the live feed will work. I hereby reserve a seat in the front row.

  20. Marjalane says:

    O.k., so she doesn’t look like she’s gained weight, but her face is so bloated and heavy looking; kind of like mine looks after a heavy drinking vacation….is Cracky not having to do drug and booze tests? Or has she had more “dental work”. (I took my first vicoden last week after screwing my back up shoveling snow- I don’t blame Cracky, that’s a good buzz!)

  21. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Ooooh Kaiser, live feed would be fab, keeping my fingers crossed u can do it

  22. BamaGuy says:

    Her career was over a long time ago. She is just a sad freak show now, with rubberneckers watching her every crack up with morbid fascination. This is becoming a repetitious bore.

  23. blinkblue says:

    this could end in a bad and sad manner. i wish her some clarity and humility and just one wise person in her path.

  24. the original bellaluna says:

    I think the whole “she honestly thinks she did nothing wrong” statement sums up her entire thought processes nicely.

    Kaiser, since I live in S.D. county, could you point me in the direction of live coverage of this “event”? I WILL point and laugh, hysterically. (While trying not to choke to death or pee my pants.)

  25. happygirl says:

    @ brin – Hi!! :) Yes, girl, haha!! So much better! Just want you to know I love reading your posts, and you are definitely one of the people who make my mornings!

  26. anoneemouse says:

    This one needs her bail revoked until trial. Since she’s been in rehab she has assaulted another person and has been caught stealing. She is a menace to society and needs to be removed from the streets.

    My five cent bet on this whole situation is that this is all for nothing. She will eventually cop to a plea that is short of the required time to go into state prison so she’ll avoid that and just go back into rehab…and the drama will continue…

  27. Skins says:

    How are we going to have any crack laughs if she goes to the joint for 3 years?

  28. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Skins – I’m sure she’ll manage something. Strictly for our entertainment, of course. Not because she’s a nasty mess who couldn’t avoid drama-creation if her life depended on it.

  29. Po says:

    Ok I don’t know the whole story and personally i don’t think it is necessary that I know it. She has been given a pass before and she will be given a pass again. I’m going to do a Ma Lohan and take the blame off of Lindsay for a moment so please forgive me in advance. What I want to know is why do jewelry store owners still allow her on the premises, offer her loans, and so on. At what point do the people who associate themselves with her knowing that she has serious issues have to take some responsibility here. I guess my question is who is worste, Lindsay or the people who continue to do business with her?

  30. Isabel says:

    Bahahahaha, this bitch!

    I’m going to be pessimistic about the crack drama like you, Kaiser. That way, I can’t be MORE disappointed. There can only be happy points of light to enhance my day should something change.

  31. Po says:

    Sorry for the spelling during my rant. :)

  32. CB Rawks says:

    “If she’d faced real consequences for her earliest antics, and if her mother had stopped with the constant excuse-laden, martyr narrative, she may have come out of things okay. But she didn’t face serious consequences. With her momager’s bad guidance, she became a lousy person. People want to see her to get her comeuppance now”

    Damn straight! That is a perfect summation, echolocate, and completely clear and easy to follow. Hopefully it will finally sink in to the heads of certain demented Lindsay supporters, so that they can stop going onn and onnnnn about how unfair everything is on her.

  33. Riley says:

    I know how you feel, Kaiser. I once got a fortune cookie that read, “What you think won’t happen.” Over the years, it has proven to be true.

  34. Mia Pia Zia says:

    Anyone notice she’s wearing crazy Britney boots? dumdedum…

  35. Kaye says:

    @ blinkblue: your post made me ashamed of myself for my gleeful first reading of this item. I wish I had your perspective.

    /salute

  36. trollydolly says:

    I stupidly thought she was going to mend her ways after rehab and start sorting her life out (I mean how many chances does she need?) but she is a disgrace. Having drug, alcohol and emotional issues is one thing but blatent thievery??

  37. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Btw I read that Lindsey has managed get her assistant and friend Patrick to lie for her about this incident.

    Prob why she is smiling so much, thinks she’ll get away with it again! Tho no doubt she prob will…Sigh

  38. DD says:

    What’s with her lips, she looks like the joker when she smiles now. She used to be so cute.

  39. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Po – on what grounds can they stop her coming in? She hasn’t actually been convicted yet so sure it would be against her human rights or such cr*p

  40. greencardigan says:

    As much as I’d like to see her get her due, I live in Los Angeles and our justice system is so messed up here. She’ll likely plea to a misdemeanor and get 60-180 days in jail which will be reduced to about 20% because of overcrowding. I’m not expecting 3 years in prison because of this.

    I’m so sorry to throw water on the parade :(

  41. Ruby Red Lips says:

    http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/news/a302856/lindsay-lohan-sued-by-tanning-salon.html

    Apparentl she is being sued too

    Sorry, off to get a life now, ;)

  42. blinkblue says:

    @Kaye: you understand where i’m coming from so you DO have my perspective.

    i salute you too.

  43. tooey says:

    I think they need to put Sheen and Lohan in a sober house together and stream it live. I’d watch. Snow day in Texas again so I guess I’ll be checking CNN around 3:30, lol!

  44. brin says:

    @tooey…that’s good, kind of a crackhead “Big Brother”.
    @happygirl…you are sweet (Kaiser & CB give us some good material)!

  45. mln76 says:

    @greencardigan I think unfortunately you are right meanwhile there are people in jail for life under the 3 strikes law for stealing $12 worth of merchandise.

  46. CB Rawks says:

    “She’ll likely plea to a misdemeanor”

    The actual crime and charge thereof is not a misdemeanor though, it’s a felony. I hope you’re wrong that they would consider lowering it. What’s the point of the court system at all? :( sigh

  47. Franny says:

    Someone get rita a paying job on this site. I mostly read the comments to see what she has to say….and because I can’t help but love the drama

  48. Jesus Christ Superstar says:

    @echolocate: This.

  49. Sassy says:

    I’m pleading not guilty because I’m NOT.

    That there is a great defense.

  50. serena says:

    what it is whit that hideous bag, that doesn’t matches with the dress and all? ugh..
    And that expression, half laugh half cry. meh.
    I always hope she goes to jail for some years.

  51. Cherry Rose says:

    What? No Innocent? I thought for sure that he/she said that Lindsay wasn’t going to be charged for stealing that necklace. *hears crickets*

    I really don’t see how Lindsay’s going to weasel out of this one. However, the whole matter of if she’s going to serve time is the real question.

  52. LittleFATMe says:

    Is she on probation still? So this should be bad. Hmm.
    Side note: Has Dina reacted to the Glee things yet? Did I miss that?

  53. Marie says:

    Ugh, this is the first time I have tried watching Good Morning America in over a year, turn on the tv guess who’s face is staring back at me?? Yep, Lohan pics and Harvey from TMZ!! You gotta be kidding me!?!?!? I visit this site for celeb gossip, I do not want this crap on the news, that is where they should be talking about the economy, Egypt, hungry and abused children in America. Guess GMA will not be on my tv for another year at least.

  54. MSat says:

    Here’s what I don’t understand. How does one achieve a tanned neck and a pale white face???

    Mystifying.

  55. Innocent says:

    Sucks about the charge but i think Shawn can beat it.
    Mugshot #5 will look great

  56. mln76 says:

    @Innocent how can you defend this? I get that you are a fan but why should she be treated differently than any other person who steals things? If you or I were to walk into a store and “borrow” a $2500 necklace we would be in jail. How is it helping her to get away with these successive crimes? She is basically unemployable because of her bad repuation and except I think for you no one believes she is ‘innocent’. If she gets away with this people will just be angrier and more disgusted with her. Considering the history of child stars such as Dana Plato why do you think getting away with a felony would be a good thing for her? I am just curious.

  57. Innocent says:

    @mln76
    I don’t think this should be a felony and she was just about to complete probation.
    Look at ALL she has done they were more deserving than this.

  58. guesty says:

    She looks like she’s been crying.

    And where in the hell is Dina to make this saga complete?! Bwhaa.

  59. brin says:

    @LittleFATMe….of course Dina made a statement about how Glee should be nice and more creative. Guess when you have a crackhead daughter, you are used to being creative.

  60. TG says:

    Regarding the misdemeanor plea. I am not a lawyer but from my understanding is they always charge you with the highest possible charge and most prosecutors work from that to get a plea usually to a lesser charge. This usually benefits both parties. The defendant for obvious reasons and the prosecutor looks good to the public because they have a conviction and they save the State money from having to have a trial and possibly losing the case. And if the District Attorney is elected than he/she can have a steller conviction record and no one will be the wiser. Of course the Judge has to approve the plea.

    And this girl escaped kidnapping charges so I will be surprised if she goes to jail or prison even for a day for something as petty as stealing.

    But if I am wrong than I will be happy for us all and going to prison might be the best thing for this cracked out over fried girl.

  61. mln76 says:

    Innocent what exactly has she done? She has at every turn skirted her responsibility and blamed others for her problems. If she continues down this path of theft,drugs & assault she will end up in jail for more than 3 years or dead. She is loosing whatever cache she had as a star and turning into a street thug. And street thugs don’t fair well in the justice system.

  62. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Innocent has crawled out of their alley to sickly defend the ‘child’

    (Can’t get CB Rawkes previous alley imagery out of my head when I read Innocent’s cr*p!!)

  63. MarenGermany says:

    @Innocent
    ohh, that makes perfect sense. “she was just about to complete probation.”
    like i was just about to complete my math exam, and didnt.
    so i guess i just have to go up to my professor and say: “but…but I was just about to…” and i guess I pass then?
    delusional, much?!

    one way or another, your little girl is HATED for her antics. FROM THE GUTS OF OUR HEARTS. HATED!

  64. Moreaces says:

    That’s a nice court outfit.

  65. PrettyTarheel says:

    @Msat: Not maintaining your self tanner appropriately. If you do not stick to the rigorous exfoliate and re-tan cycle, because your face skin cells turn over faster-and you wash your face more often than your neck-you end up with this lovely look. You can try to cover it with bronzer or foundation that matches your neck, but a photograph will flash right through that and show your true skin tone.

  66. Innocent says:

    @mln76
    That’s what i mean look at her 07 crime spree. Although i do have to admit i knew if she caught a new case they would throw the book at her.
    However i’m confident that it was jut a miscommunication and that Shawn will successfully defend her client.

  67. eja102 says:

    does Innocent mean all theft over a certain amount should not be a felony?
    or just for Lindsay?

    I admit I can’t wait to see how this plays out.

  68. Innocent says:

    does Innocent mean all theft over a certain amount should not be a felony?

    __________________________________________

    Yeah i mean that anything over $900 is a pretty big jump to a felony charge.

  69. Cherry Rose says:

    @ Innocent – Hollywood and the court system is getting tired of Lindsay’s antics. Lindsay is currently burning the last of the bridges that are connecting her to Hollywood.

    Unlike what Dina and Lindsay want us to believe, the scripts are not coming in. She is insurable, because she has proven herself a thief, a liar, an addict, and ultimately, undependable.

    Her celebrity status is a joke now. The world only pays attention to her to see what she’s going to fuck up or steal next.

    She might get off again this time, but her money is dwindling and so are her connections. The next time she fucks up, she’s not going to have her attorney and money to help bail her out. Lindsay will be in a rude awakening then.

    So, keep defending her. But you know just as well that Lindsay is eventually going to end up in jail or prison, and that the door that connects her to Hollywood is closed and won’t be reopened.

  70. mln76 says:

    @Innocent a miscommunication my ass. I really do think you are connected to her in some way because you sound like you are in as much denial as her cracked out parents. Just a hint enabling doesn’t help.

    Actually as I said there are people in jail for life in the state of CA for stealing $12 worth of merchandise. Under the 3 strikes clause.

  71. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Dina (I mean Innocent) – It must be very pleasant to live in your little world. If Blohan were anyone else, she’d have been in jail long ago. We all know that – even you.

    @mln76 – Yes. If it was called “Lindsay’s Law” it would be 18 strikes (at least), not 3.

  72. Sandy says:

    @MarinGermany
    Hated? And yelling about it? Jesus lady there is no need to get so worked up about a tabloid story. You should see somebody about your delusional ability to hate people you don’t know for things that don’t affect you. The fact that we are all so entertained by this crud is a little sick in itself. People who take it to the level that you are is an example of how celebrity culture is just way out of hand.
    So lets recap.
    You dont know these people
    What they do does not affect you.
    Good luck.

  73. Ruby Red Lips says:

    mln 76 – Innocent is just a sick fanatical stalker who has no life other than following Lindsay’ antics, oh & smoking the same delusional crack pipe!

  74. samigirl says:

    @Innocent=she literally stole thousands of dollars worth of stuff. That SHOULDN’T be a felony? I hope noone steals your car, or breaks into your home and steals your jewelry, nice tv, etc. Wait, I kind of hope they do. You will be singing a different song then.

  75. Eileen says:

    Oh man Lindsay has more arraignment photos than a pageant toddlers have Glamor Shots.

    Oh God I almost spit my coffee out when I read Waiting for Crack Santa on Saint Crackhead’s Eve! Priceless! LMAO

  76. eja102 says:

    I see.

    not really.

  77. original kate says:

    she makes me ill – what an ungrateful little snot she is. she made a couple of cute disney movies 12 years ago and feels entitled because if it. when she finally ODs dina will go on and on about how nobody helped lindsay, then she’ll write a book and marry some young bisexual pool boy. trust.

  78. Marjalane says:

    Where IS White Oprah in all this? Did Lindsey’s PR team, (like she even still has one) determine that Dina and Ali were deal breakers in the Lilo comeback plan? Or, (more likely) Is Dina waiting until Lindsey starts making some money again before she latches on in LA?

  79. Marjalane says:

    @ #77

    Somewhere in Los Angeles, Cedric’s ears just perked up.

  80. Roma says:

    Dear Lindsay,

    Do you remember OJ Simpson? No, I don’t think you are as awful as him. But remember how outraged people were when he was found innocent of murder? And how ironic it was that he eventually was sentenced to 33 years for armed robbery of his own merchandise? And remember how the people rejoiced?

    Well, I sincerely hope this felony grand theft is your armed robbery. I hope, eventually, you’ll be found guilty and the sentence will seem harsh for stealing a very plain 2.5k necklace. However it will be still light for a coked out hijacking.

  81. icantbelievethis says:

    So if she takes a plea deal or is found guilty won’t she also then have to go in for probation violation?

    Don’t be so hard on @Innocent. We all have our opinions and at least Crackhead still has 1 fan. Everyone needs 1 fan.

    I hope the don’t let her plead guilty to a lesser charge or give her a plea deal. I hope they throw the book at her. Having crappy parents is no excuse for being a crappy person.

  82. MissyA says:

    Oh man!
    My team won the Superbowl and my quarterback won the MVP (Suck it. Suck it hard, Favre!); that cute customer at work indulged me in a friendly flirt; and now Lindsay Lohan is being (potentially) arraigned for felony grand theft?!

    Mama needs to buy a lottery ticket – everything’s coming up MIssyAggravation!

  83. Zelda says:

    @Moreaces
    hahaha

    Is ANYONE ELSE wondering about her face? WHY is it so bloated? Even if we assume she got drunk last night…WTF?!

  84. Po says:

    Ruby, my point was not that she could legally be banned from a store. I guess I’m not talking about putting a big sign up that says we don’t serve Lindsays. What I’m trying to say is that a lot of these stores patronize her type. Her type being the celebrity who thinks they can do whatever that want whenever they want. They like it when she comes into their place of business so they don’t make it known that she’s not welcome, in fact they do the opposite. I’m just saying why don’t some of these vendors make it known to Lindsay’s people that she isn’t welcome instead of playing the publicity game with her.

  85. wunderkindt says:

    I’ll be eating popcorn during the live feed when the ‘surrender’ occurs, although I’m sure Blohan and Mother Crackhead would rather have us all eat cake!

  86. Megs says:

    Ok seriously where is Ali? We haven’t seen her in MONTHS. The last time I remember seeing photos of her was when Linds was in jail and it looked like she might have gotten implants. Maybe she was knocked up?

  87. Katie says:

    NANCY GRACE said Lindsay will NOT go to jail because she’s white…Nancy’s always right!