Kate Middleton, indentured servant, will be forced to “tour” Canada

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Poor Waity Katy. She thought she had everything sewn up. She got the ring after nine years of hard (ha) work. Work that included 11 vacations a year, no full-time job, lots of shopping and polo and parties and champagne. Waity Katy did her time in the fanciest gulag ever, and she got the ring, and then some mean, evil people started whispering about how she was going to have to be a “working royal”! This was absolutely shocking to poor Waity. And *poof* those “working royal” reports disappeared when Buckingham Palace announced that Poor Waity would not be a working royal… she was going to spend her post-honeymoon time as a married, servant-less, staff-less Navy wife on a military base while William finished up his never-ending training. No more “working royal” reports! To add to Waity’s profound happiness, the Palace didn’t even expect her to work with charities. She might put on an evening gown and go to some charitable function a few times a year, if she must. But no heavy lifting, for Waity cannot handle it!

But this news is just the worst! The Palace has just announced that Waity and William will be required to take a “tour” of some place called “Canada”. Right after their honeymoon! How absolutely exhausting!

It’s official! Prince William and Kate Middleton are heading to Canada.

Just weeks after William, 28, and Kate, 29, return from their honeymoon, the newly-minted princess will be thrust into her first royal tour.

“Prince William and Miss Catherine Middleton have accepted an invitation from the government of Canada to undertake a Royal Tour,” the palace said in a statement. The tour will include Alberta, the Northwest Territories, Prince Edward Island, Quebec, and the National Capital Region.

Their trip will run from June 30 to July 8, meaning the couple will be in Canada for the country’s national holiday, Canada Day, on July 1.

Royal tours can be demanding, as the itineraries are typically packed with events, and this one is no exception – the royal couple will be out in public for much of the nine days.

And coming so soon after the wedding and other official engagements, the tour will be a full-blown baptism for Kate into the public side of royal life.

But the Canadian tour is just the beginning of a busy summer for the newlyweds. They will return to Britain in time attend two family weddings: William’s cousin Zara Phillips is set to marry this summer and his uncle, Charles Spencer, has just announced that his third marriage will take place in June.

[From People]

This is seriously the most Kate has ever had on her plate. She’s preparing a wedding – which might be stressful for you or me, but I’d imagine Kate’s wedding preparations are eased somewhat by the hundreds of staffers at Buckingham Palace and St. James Palace. Then she’s got a honeymoon! And THEN she has to go on “tour”. And then she has to come back and go to two more weddings!!! Kate will need a serious six-month vacation after that.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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49 Responses to “Kate Middleton, indentured servant, will be forced to “tour” Canada”

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  1. brin says:

    Oh dear!

  2. Louise says:

    What’s with the sarcasm? There are no quotes from “people close to the couple” saying Kate is complaining.

  3. Emma says:

    Look at her face in that last picture. Her face says, “I win.”

  4. eja102 says:

    I’m jealous.
    I would love to tour Canada.

    Hmm, especially in the style they will travel. First class hotels and air (do they fly private I wonder? I would guess so). All the very best.
    I’d have to go so far budget I may as well just walk to BC.

  5. goodbloke says:

    wow..waity kaity’s hard work of sooo many years is paying off afterall….She will get 2 honeymoons in a row…first in Britain and then in Canada….
    Prince Of Monaco is marrying a swimming champ, French president is married to a actress/model…Why couldn’t PW found a woman of some weight and substance? huh…poor pw…probably due to the loss of his mother at an early stage and he is love deficient and can’t tell the difference between right and wrong….
    God help him….:-)

  6. Eve says:

    Oh, woe is poor Kate…getting a free trip to Canada. In fact, I’m so sad for her that I’ll gladly take her place and visit the country for her. She can keep the balding prince though.

  7. Marina says:

    She looks like the woman from Paranormal Activity…

  8. Kloops says:

    Boo Ya! We’re the favourite colony! Take that Australia. What? Not visiting BC?!!! Bullsh*t I tell you. Forget it. Off to cry into my tea.

  9. Maud says:

    What’s wrong with shopping, parties, polo, and champagne? Is it a vapid existence or just a lucky one. Not everyone is the same.

  10. princess makeup says:

    Goodbloke, I hardley consider Carla Bruni Sarcozy a woman of “weight and substance” as you so eloquently put it. The highlight of Mrs. Sarcozy’s resume, prior to marrying Nicholas, was boning Mick Jagger.

    Agree with you about KM though… she’s all fluff.

  11. Roma says:

    @Kloops: You just made me spit my coffee. I have dear Aussie friends that I surf with and I always taunt them that Canada’s the favourite colony… I can’t believe someone else said it!

  12. Lynnie says:

    Why all the Kate Hate? :(

  13. Genevieve says:

    Um, what’s wrong with spending ONE WEEK touring a COMMONWEALTH COUNTRY. July is the absolute best time for Canadian travel because it’s our overall warmest month! Go Canada! We are 144 years young July 1 and proud of it.

  14. flourpot says:

    Hello, coldsore.

  15. Mayday says:

    Where in anything you wrote was a quote saying she was complaining or that she thought this was hard work?

    I could care less about the royals and think it’s quite time to do away with them to be honest (though im sure many people would disagree) but you seem to speculate an awful lot about her without having any facts to back it up. If you don’t like her, that’s fine, I dont care for her either so hey I’m with you on that, but I think it’s a bit unfair to suggest her feelings on her future duties with no quotes/confirmations to back those up, no?

    She is lucky enough to come froma family of wealth, went to a well respected British university, graduated with a an Art History degree and when compared to her celebutante American counterparts, keeps a pretty low profile, wouldn’t you agree? Give her a break, geez.

  16. KsGirl says:

    Forced to tour our northern wasteland? I can think of no worse punishment!

    Kidding. Hope they come to Montreal so I can go yell cheeky things at them.

  17. Saskia says:

    William’s never been a particular pretty prince, but as he ages his head seems to be getting very square and blocky and his nose and teeth are becoming alarmingly pronounced, but he’s still got those wee beady eyes. He’s starting to look like he was assembled out of spare parts from a woodchuck and a vulture.

  18. PJ says:

    Kaiser, this is hilarious! Congrats on a great comic piece. Love the out-take pix too.

    That said, we all know that Kate is not a victim, not a doormat, and not lazy. She’s going to be a great Princess and Queen.

  19. Lynda says:

    @saskia…omg…dying here

  20. Arianna says:

    @ Kloops and Saskia

    just win i am never drinking coffee reading these again ahahahah

  21. Wif says:

    I heard about this on the radio yesterday, but something mentioned there that was neglected in this article is that July 1 (Canada Day for us, and a pretty big party I must add) will be Diana’s would-be 50th birthday. I wonder if they chose to be here, in the nation’s capital, that day when it will be all booze and pretty colours, rather than be at home in Britain being reminded of missing mom.

    That’s right, I spelled colour with a U. That’s how Canadian’s roll.

  22. Kim says:

    That trip actually does sound exhausting. Hope she likes planes.

  23. Ashley says:

    Not sure why in Canada we have to work our ass off to pay for such trips they take to our country. We work hard so they can go on vacation,,,damn this life..Once I read that every Canadian on average is paying $1:10 into The Queen’s expences and to provide for her well being. This sucks big time.

  24. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    Is ok, she’ll be near the prince dong the whole time, she can do it..

  25. JulieM says:

    Love, love, love your sarcasm, Kaiser. And I could not agree more. Poor Waity Katie might actually have to do something. Oh No! How will she ever cope. What a dull and lazy person. Just look at the last nine years; all the proof you need, Katie apologists.

  26. Devon says:

    I’m not getting why there is so much nasiest in this post. If they didn’t want to come, they wouldn’t be coming.

    Not going to lie, I’m a little bummed they aren’t coming to BC. I live in Vancouver and my hometown is Victoria and I definitely thought they’d come to the 2 best cities in the country. (Take that Ontarians!). And I’m not going to lie that it sucks for them going to the NWT. That place is a shit hole. A beautiful one but a shit hole none the less. BC is where it’s at.

  27. Moopeemeepee says:

    Whoa Nelly! What’s going on with kates bottom lip in that second photo?

  28. Mare says:

    I don’t get these articles and comments about Kate. It’s not that I like her, I dont’ have a strong opinion because I don’t know much about her. And that’s the problem. Of all celebrities we read about, we know so little about Kate. She did one interview, on the engagement day, she’s never in the public, she says nothing, I really don’t understand how do people know she’s stupid, boring or vapid?

  29. bluhare says:

    Moops: That’s a herpy!!!

    Good Plastic Surgery says they think she had eye bag work and a smidge of nose thinning, probably when they were broken up in 2007. They were impressed with her surgeon.

  30. melinda says:

    I don’t get the hate either. It’s not like she said or implied she didn’t want to do this.

  31. Ruth says:

    Isnt the nastiness a little unnecessary? Since when did she say she didnt like doing charity stuff? She is from a well-off enough family that she need never work-if she hadnt married a prince youd just never have heard about it.
    Yeah she isnt a magical fairy princess who just loves scrubbing floors for disabled people-wow what a shock. Give her time, shell work out okay.

  32. Bobby the K says:

    I spent about 5 seasons as a fishing guide on Great Bear Lake in the N.W.T.
    Loved it and loved the place. And late July is a great time to be there, it can actually get hot, around 30C.
    I’d rather see them go there than say, Toronto.

  33. Hmmm says:

    I don’t think it’s such a bad life for someone who is willing to play second fiddle and obey.

  34. JJ says:

    They are coming to Alberta just in time for the Calgary Stampede kickoff! Best party in Canada, and they will get white hatted.

  35. Rosi says:

    well i still think the one who gets harry will be the winner in the long run. :-)

  36. chasingadalia says:

    Canada for the win.

  37. Jen D says:

    They’re coming to my neck of the woods! People here are going to lose it. Seriously, it’s going to be ridiculous. It’s kind of a curious set of places to visit, though… I understand Ottawa (the “national capital region”), and I’m all for the other places, but they’re jumping around a bit. I mean, we’re a pretty big place…. My Canadian instincts are coming out, and I want to offer them travel advice. Like, what restaurants to visit, and what tourist traps to avoid. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be one of those trips, though;)

    BC, I love you guys to death, but you got the Olympics! And you get beautiful mountains AND the ocean. Give us this one thing!

  38. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    @Bobby: There is still so much our country that I have yet to see, and it steams my hams just a little to think that I’ll be contributing my measley shekels toward the Foundation for Thing Money-Grubber…Stand Down, Colonies.

    That’s the power of waving ineffectually. Standing next to something and then pointing at it is heroic and cures rhubella, I hear. I honestly think Mrs. Simpson was the best thing to happen to those dolts–stay with me!! Had not her social-climbing, ho-bagging charms the power required to be that random thing that could serve as a believable convenient *out* from a job for an aggressively useless, immature, diseased-of-soul cretin, he would have been Hitler’s lapdog and king, simultaneously. Heh, they oughta thank that whore.

  39. Lady D says:

    “BC is where it’s at.” Cosign utterly.

  40. Angel says:

    As Canadians, my husband and I would rather like to tell them BOTH to stay home.

    As a girl who was born in Surrey I’d like to tell HER to stay home.

    Either way … I couldn’t care less about their condescending ‘tour’.

    STAY HOME.

  41. Allie666 says:

    Hey Kaiser, you seem to have more Canuck readers than YANK….

    Canadians now cheer when we win gold medals, we talk back when critics try skunk humour, and we have a dollar worth more than yours, and the population of one of your states (CA)

    HO HO!! “Where” did we learn to be sooo loud, come on Kaiser, what is your best guess??? Could it be from the 11th Province of Florida.

    Canada Day in Ottawa and the Calgary Stampede are the best parties in North America. Hail Kate and Wills.

    Cheers A

  42. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Absolutely RIPPING, eh what? Yes, please do come to Toronto and give our Pigs another reason to remove nametags, badge numbers, whack civilians and play with their brand-new sound cannons.

  43. Jeanie says:

    I love how nobody bothers to visit beautiful british columbia.
    that’s where the party’s at.
    This post is kinda nasty. Poor Kate.

  44. Hanh says:

    She has led quite a vapid existance the last 9 years. Royal work is going to be a shock to her system which is why I’m sure they’re trying to ease her into it slowly. Royal work is an extremely demanding job with long hours so we’ll see if she’s up to it.

  45. debsa says:

    Enough with the “Waity Katy”…

  46. eternalcanadian says:

    Catherine will have a grand time in Canada. She’ll be in Ottawa on Canada Day which is like the best party in the country that day! Then she gets to go to Hollywood and hob nob with the Beckhams!

    I still say Catherine got ripped off with William’s refusal to wear a wedding ring. She should have put her foot down about that. William wears watches so why not a ring? Total cop out if you ask me.

    By the way, isn’t it time to stop calling Catherine “Waity Katie” as she’s now married to the guy? Yeah, it may have taken her seven years (they didn’t start dating until after William turned 21–he was still hung up on Jecca Craig and a couple other bints at his 21st birthday party) but heck that’s nothing compared to some people I know.

  47. Meg says:

    She’s not a princess. She’s the Duchess of Cambridge. The Royal family tour and visit countries all the time. I doubt Kate is not happy about it. Nor is it news to her.

  48. Bev says:

    That second picture of her is hilarious…she looks bug-eyed and startled. Otherwise she’s a very pretty girl. I wonder if she knows what she’s gotten herself into? Being a royal has it’s perks but are they worth it with the ruthless paparazzi watching your every move? I guess some people can handle it but I would go crazy!

  49. marchesa_86 says:

    “Since when did she say she didnt like doing charity stuff? She is from a well-off enough family that she need never work-if she hadnt married a prince youd just never have heard about it.”

    I think everyone who’s going to inherit that much wealth should be an active volunteer; they really have no excuse not to become one. The only time they’ve mentioned Kate’s charity work was when she went to Chile on a trip organized by the same people who’d arranged Prince William’s trip to Chile a few weeks earlier. I know this sounds cynical, but since this took place before they both started attending St. Andrews, I sort of feel as though she was only interested in finding him in Chile. This was a girl who had his poster hanging in her bedroom after all. It’s just too coincidental to me. Aside from that “voluntourism” trip, none of her friends from the documentaries profiling her life have mentioned any of her charitable works, and I think if she was ever that interested in it, she would’ve done more by now.