This story in In Touch cracked me the hell up. Supposedly Johnny Depp-morphing (read: gaining weight and growing scraggly facial hair without the style and substance to carry it off) John Mayer somehow propositioned Sandra Bullock through mutual friends or something. The details are scant and this story could be completely fabricated, but it made me laugh and you know Mayer would be down with Sandy if she’d have him. Sandra of course supposedly told Mayer she was flattered but would rather spend the night with her vibrator from 1999 even when the batteries are dead.
John Mayer thinks he’s the perfect man to cheer up the Oscar winner.
“John is trying hard to get fixed up with Sandra,” a mutual friend tells In Touch. And according to a pal, in typical John fashion, he’s got an ulterior motive. Following a string of high-profile romances that all ended badly, the singer is eager to repair his reputation, and he thinks that dating America’s Sweetheart will improve his “love them and leave them” image, says the pal. “John likes dating famous women, it’s a turn on for him,” explains the pal. “And who’s more famous than Sandra Bullock? He knows Sandra’s probably not going to date him, but he did offer to enter a friends-with-benefits situation.”
For her part, Sandra is amused by the attention. “She was flattered and had a good laugh when she found out about it, but she turned John down because she’s looking for a relationship and not just a booty call,” says the friend. “Sandra’s looking for someone to grow old with and she doesn’t think John’s the type who will ever settle down.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition, February 28, 2011]
How does this jibe with the report that John and Miley Cyrus were getting touchy-feely at the Grammys? (Sidenote: John called Miley a “child” in late 2009. I just found that story.) We know that John’s only type is “white” (sorry to be so blunt about that, but he said it) and that he goes for older as well as inappropriately younger women. So these reports aren’t mutually exclusive. Mayer could be sliming his pseudo intellectual douche all over Miley Cyrus while putting his feelers out for Sandra Bullock. Sandra’s been around the block, though. She knows what Mayer is about.
This got me thinking about Sandra Bullock’s love life. I hope she’s getting laid well and often and that she’s got a secret lover somewhere. She doesn’t have to settle for some rebound sex with Ryan Reynolds whenever it’s convenient for him.
Photo credit: WENN.com
Now if she would only reject those bangs!
She may have bangs trauma but she’s not desperate!
What a douchebag. I would have to hunt him down and scalp him if he touched her with his nasty douchebag hands.
He’s so gross.
“Sandra Bullock rejected John Mayer’s offer to be friends with benefits”
I’m with Sandra. Bed bugs and crabs are not benefits or friendly.
Creep…your corrupted, infestation that you call a dick has no place near the Bullock’s vajaja…LOL
If true, he’s delusional. What could he possibly have to offer her than nasty STDs and all-around douchebaggery?
I have my shank at my side should that gross thing ever go near her.
Love the comment about the vibrator! If this is anything like slightly true, I can’t imagine he’s got anything Sandra would be attracted by.
Ha! I don’t imagine this is true but I hope that if it is, she turned him down by doing the snorty laugh thing she does in Miss Congeniality.
His facial hair is vomit inducing
Thank GOD. Just because he was able to get into Miley’s barely legal skin tight ‘jumpsuit’ doesn’t mean he has a chance with decent intelligent women.
Notice how Mayer (supposedly) didn’t suggest they date, just sleep together? Of *course* Sandra doesn’t appeal to him for a relationship. She’s not young, inexperienced, stupid, or easily manipulated like the young girls he goes after. He’s got to be pretty insecure about himself.
And my last opinion… Sandra has already had a slimy creep who needs to shave. I’d rather become a scientologist than sleep with this guy.
@*-* (12)- I don’t think she’s perfect, but she’s sure as hell too good for John Mayer.
yall should all look up the latest blind gossip about your Ms F* Perfect
As a black woman, I think the best words that ever came out of JM mouth was that his dong was not attracted to us. THANK GOD IN HEAVEN our race have been spared the douche’s dong.:)
It’s been a year and I’m still celebrating the happy news.
With that said, I send my condolences to all the white women out there who have/may fall victim to his sh*t dong. You all deserve sooo much better then the best he can offer you.
I like her more every day.
I have a head ache thinking about all the women John supposedly slept with. The media is really giving the guy the unruly mob with torches and pitch folks treatment. Put it to rest people, give the guy a break this is getting old. Unless he says he is dating a specific woman or there are pics I won’t believe any of the ‘ hook ups’ he is having.
He looks like he smells bad.
LOL TruthSF!
He looks really disgusting. I still remember when he first got popular, he was sort of this young, clean cut, sorta cute guy with decent songs. Now he’s just…gross. And a joke.
Douche alert!
Sandra may have told him no, but there are so many dummies that would say yes.
@Marie – HAHAHAHA
@*_* what’s this blind item you speak of? Inquiring minds want to know.
@TruthSF LMAO!
And the benefit would be…him?
He is so repulsive. Ugh.
Gossipcop.com already debunked this. Not true.
I love Mayer’s music. Bullock is just a cougar trying to act like she’s twenty something. Lol.
Funny he goes to L.A. and all these fake stories come out, all debunked by gossipcop. His friend even called this b.s. and said the Miley stuff was nonsense too. No wonder the guy sold his house in L.A.
No reason to diss Sandra. I think she’s great, but this need to bring down people in the media us so old.
This douche is fucking GROSS!!! What in the world women ever see in this moron is beyond me. He looks a stand-in for Johnny Depp in that crappy movie he just did with Angeloonie!
I just want to punch his stupid ugly face. Is that bad? LOL
@DetRiotgirl:
Go to BlindGossip.com and read the blind about the “Mexican Standoff”. Most of the commenters believe it to be about Sandra Bullock & Jesse James
I guess since his most recent conquests have been Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift he thinks all women are dumb bimbos who believe his crack. I don’t believe Sandra was flattered. No sane, semi-intelligent woman would be flattered to be asked for a FWB relationship.
I love Sandy’s bangs!! I love Sandy, will never say anything derogatory about her. I am still amazed at her graciousness towards Jesse James..he was the uberdouche of the universe. Her strength & grace is very admirable.
I love Sandy’s bangs!! I love Sandy, will never say anything derogatory about her. I am still amazed at her graciousness towards Jesse James..he was the uberdouche of the universe. Her strength & grace is very admirable.
@Mia Girl Thanks! I wouldn’t be surprised if that one turned out to be true. I mean, how could she be married to a racist douche like Jesse and not at have at least a few demons in her closet? I don’t buy that Sandra is so dumb that she never noticed that the guy gets turned on by nazi underoos and lethal weapons. I would not be shocked to find there is a video out there of her in leather, lace and some scat on her face!
Anyway, here’s one for anyone who needed a good laugh today. I sometimes check in on Kat Von D and Jesse James on twitter. These two idiots are the type to play their entire relationship out online, much like Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian. In fact, these two are almost like almost an (dare I say it?) even trashier version of LR and EC in their everyday love fest on twitter. So, especially now that Leann has gone and protected her tweets, these two are currently one of the most cringe inducing train wrecks online.
So, without further ado, let me share one of Jesse’s latest tweets for your viewing enjoyment:
FreeJesseJames: @thekatvond makes my heart go “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom”
Yes, you just read that. Yes, that is a Selena reference. But, wait! It gets better!
Check out this picture he tweeted just after that last ode to love:
http://Yfrog.com/hszpfvjj
I think he’s supposed to be holding her hand while they drive because, yes, they tweet each other while driving. But, it just sort of looks like a heavily used nintendo power glove that a six year old once used as a coloring book reaching out for the claw of death. Very romantic! I mean, for fame whores, this is practically poetry!
@TruthSF – “With that said, I send my condolences to all the white women out there who have/may fall victim to his sh*t dong. You all deserve sooo much better then the best he can offer you.”
Gee, thanks for rubbing it in. x_x I wonder if his racist dong could be repelled by Snooki’s abuse of spray tanning.
Honestly, I think the guy would have sex with himself if he were a contortionist. It’s already been proven he has to listen to his own songs, & personify his penis, during sex.
——
As to the blind item… I actually had to go to a dictionary website to look up what the term ‘scatological‘ meant. I honestly wish I hadn’t.
I don’t know if it’s true (I don’t consider her perfect, and beyond having her own nasty things locked in a safe in their closet.), I guess it would make sense as to why she kept her mouth shut. And if she does share the nazi fetishism Jesse obviously seems to have, it would provide an explanation as to how the hell they got together. They just *seem* so different.
John Mayer is channeling Jack White and not doing so well at it. He actually has the face of a pig. Oink!
I would love if Sandra has said that she is flattered. That is a hell of sarcasm right there. I hope JM gets it and learns so he knows to whom he offers his “services”. He is so disgusting.
John Mayer’s great with words. He just completely redefined “benefit.” It used to mean something good.
“friends with benefits”?? and pray tell what the “benefits” would be? STDs or a golden shower? Disgusting moron.
I remember when John Mayer was on the Chappelle Show, he was the cool guy that played to guitar and now reading how much people thinks he is a douche-bag….lol But he did it to himself sometimes you gotta learn not to talk so much cause you end up putting your foot in your mouth..