Hot Guy Oscars: The Dongs Are All Right


Okay, this is already going to be a really long post, so let me clarify my intent: I am not trying to put EVERY guy in here from the Oscars. These are only the guys that I found somewhat attractive. Thus, no Justin Timberlake. I’m also pulling photos from the after-parties, where it seems most of the really hot dudes were, like our resident Hot Guy Patron Saint of Judgy Bitches, Tom Ford. Tom Ford is disappointed in all of us. Tom Ford knows we could do better. Tom Ford judges us.

Jon Hamm will not judge us. The Hamm will get us a drink and ask us how our day was, while rubbing our feet. The Hamm is wonderful.


Next: Jason Bateman at the VF party. So cute.


Timothy Olyphant. HOT.


Hugh Jackman. Too fancy to really be considered hot, but he’s nice to look at.


Anthony Mackie. I would. Many, many, many times. I would exhaust him.


Josh Lucas. Whatever happened to this guy? He used to be on the rise, but now… he’s just kind of cute and vague.


Perfect Colin Firth. Perfect.


Mark Wahlberg. He might be a big man in Hollywood, but DAMN, he’s SO short. And don’t ask me what Rhea is wearing. It’s hideous.


Jeremy Renner. Pocket boyfriend.


RDJ, just because. He’s perfect.


Christian Bale. He’s grown on me. He was extraordinarily gracious during his speech.


Mark Ruffalo is so adorable. His wife is pretty, but that dress is ridic.


Ah, and last but not least, my dream lover (meaning, he’s done filthy things to me in my dreams), Andrew Garfield. As I’ve said before, the boy doesn’t photograph well. But I still would.


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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37 Responses to “Hot Guy Oscars: The Dongs Are All Right”

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  1. the original bellaluna says:

    What I wouldn’t give to be between Timothy, Jason, and Hugh. Dear God *fans self* Aren’t they a beautiful, man-candy trio!

  2. Rita says:

    15 dress threads, one dong thread.

    Bitches rule.

  3. brin says:

    Good assortment, Kaiser (big thanks for omitting JT), but I would have liked Armie Hammer in the mix….he’s a real hottie (even his wife seems nice).
    “Pocket boyfriend”…lol!

  4. AnnaBegins says:

    I’m probably the only person on the planet (other than my sister) that didn’t know Christian Bale was British.

    My mind was blown last night when he accepted his award. I actually turned to my sister and asked if he was in character during his acceptance speech. Whoops.

    Any recommendations for Bale films where he doesn’t play an American?

  5. beth says:

    ol squinty eye (tom ford) here is only 3 years younger than madonna – that makes him 49, and madonna, 52, and yet he looks 35ish. i don’t believe for a moment he never got help.

  6. Sumodo1 says:

    RDJ seemed relaxed and no as “on” as he does on most red carpets. Plus, his wife, Susan didn’t seem to be keeping him on a short leash this time. Love them and wish them well.

  7. Violet says:

    heart andrew garfield.

  8. TQB says:

    Garfield. That HAIR. I cannot look at him without imagining what it would be like to reach up and just grab him by it, you know what i mean?

    I like JT but he wasn’t anything special last night – these selections are outstanding.

  9. Matt says:

    Mark Ruffalo is usually my fave, but he looked a bit off at the oscars. Maybe it was just standing next to that fugly dress that did it.

  10. Riley says:

    I think Hugh Jackman seems like such a sweet and humble and swell guy. I didn’t like his tux though. It seemed really out of fashion. It looked like something Dave Letterman may wear to the Oscars. Andrew Garfield’s tux looks fab. There is something about him that I find kind of toe curling. Mark Ruffalo looked really good as well. I think he is sexy as hell but he is always looks a little greasy, a little dirty (nothing wrong with that) but he seemed really pretty much put together and unruffled. Did Julianne not go to the Oscars last night? I didn’t see her. I hope it wasn’t because she wasn’t nominated. That would be kind of crappy considering her movie was up for all kinds of awards.

  11. Andrea says:

    Yeah, Tom Ford’s forehead has to be botoxed. Compare it to Jason Bateman. Oh and yeah…Timothy Olyphant…yum. RDJ yum too.

  12. Riley says:

    @Annabegins: I knew Bale was Welsh but his accent still threw me. When he was talking to Ryan Seacrest I thought he must be putting on, preparing for some upcoming role and cannot allow himself to get out of character. It wasn’t until his acceptance speech that I realized, “No, that is his real voice.” The voice certainly doesn’t fit the persona of the man.

  13. KIM says:

    Where is Jude ? Kaiser.

  14. photo jojo says:

    Tom Ford can judge me anytime, anyplace, anywhere and for any reason.

  15. Zelda says:

    Tom Ford is the only gay man (who I KNOW is gay, anyway) that I have a purely impure sexual lust for. So I don’t believe for one second that he’s not at least a little bi. My gaydar never fails when it comes to who does and does not give me a she-boner.

  16. devilgirl says:

    Timothy Olyphant is hot! I have loved him since forever!

    Jeremy Renner- YUM!

    Jon Hamm, usually looks so hot, but lately, he is looking unkempt and bloated.

    Damn Tom Ford! Wish he’d play on my team for a bit!

  17. hstl1 says:

    @jojo – Totally agree with you.

    @Andrea – Don’t judge on the botox, I do my forehead and I look good! I just looked back at those pictures and Colin Firth sure as he** did soemthing to his face.

  18. Jennifer says:

    No Matthew McConaughey??!!

    Nice to know I wasn’t the only one wondering about Christian Bale’s accent. That was one heckuva speech!

  19. Quest says:

    Hot Oscar Dong Menu

    I would like a sub sandwich combo with the following:

    A thick slice of Hamm
    a dash of RDJ
    a pinch of Marky Mark
    Spinkle some Jeremy Renner and Jason B
    top with Timothy, Colin and Mark

    all this between two lovely toasted buns, sorry but my sandwich combo could not hold all the listed condiments – LMAO (need to get them all in one big bite)

  20. Nanea says:

    Anthony for starters, Colin as a dessert, and the main course Tom Ford, with a major dash of Hugh&Hamm and a sprinkling of Jeremy, rounded out with some RDJr on toast.

    Afterwards I’ll get drunk with Javi, because he was left out.

  21. Moreaces says:

    O M Gee, I did not realize how short Mark was. And I think Christian Bale is handsome, but that beard is just weird, I think its the coloring.

  22. Ron says:

    Tom Ford…The Queen of Botox. Notice that he rarely if ever smiles in photos, it’s because he can’t anymore. We have mutual friends, all of whom are botox queens, but his is out of control. He is a handsome man, but he’s quickly going to push himself into The Joan Rivers Suite if he’s not careful.

  23. Hein says:

    No Javier?

  24. Liz says:

    Sigh Andrew Garfield & RDJ…

  25. abbizmal says:

    I think I’m in luve with Timothy Olyphant. I’d hit it.

    PS – Who the hell is Tom Ford? Or have I been under a rock?

  26. sandi says:

    thank you, thank you, thank you for posting a pic of timothy olyphant! such a hot piece…tom ford mmmmmmmtom

  27. Stubbylove says:

    Jason Bateman & RDJ for everyday, The Hamm for special occasions and Tom Ford to be disappointed in it all – that’s really all I need.

  28. Kiska says:

    I’d like a Timothy and Hugh sandwich with me in the middle please!

  29. dj says:

    I didn’t think Olyphant could get any hotter but he is delicious is a tux! Wow! I agree, where is the Matthew?

  30. Tiffany says:

    Tom Ford. Yes.Yes. Yes. When I see him I feel like a slob and then I want to meet him and do awful things to him. I have been a fan of Bale since Newsies. Yes people, Newsies. I don’t see how Bale has earned the reputation that he has. The Terminator incident and then the GQ reporter being a ass, you never hear about people not wanting to work with him or not getting work because of his attitude. I have always liked him and still. I chalk it up to him having a bad day which we are all have. Until it becomes a recurring thing, he is still on my hot guy list.

  31. Brittany says:

    I loved when Bale made the comment that he wasn’t going to curse because he’s done a lot of that (I took that to mean the infamous tape incident)–LOL!

    Mark Ruffalo’s wife looks so much like Patricia Arquette there!

    Andrew Garfield… oh yeah. I would do unforgivable things to him.

  32. Wresa says:

    Wow, all of these men are delish. I think Timothy Olyphant cleans up verrry nice!

  33. dim says:

    I thought the same exact thing about Christian Bale during the Globe’s that I had to look up his nationality, just to be sure.

    John Hamm is starting to appeal more and more to me.

  34. Jazz says:

    RDJ all day and all night long please!!

  35. Leek says:

    Good group. Thanks for passing on JT. I hate his face.

  36. sapphire says:

    Just think of how fun it would be to tear that ugly tux off Hugh. If some of beach pictures are accurate, you would have a wonderful surprise.

  37. mae says:

    I agree w/ Jazz. I love RDJ. Have since the beginning. So glad he is behaving!!!