Linnocent’s probation progress report shows a lazy, uninsured crackhead


We’ve gotten emails begging us to cover Linnocent’s appearance in court today. Why? I don’t get it. At this point, doesn’t every single person here realize that Linnocent will forever and ALWAYS get away with every single rotten, sketchy, illegal, cracked-out, ridiculous, nasty thing that she does? She never faces consequences for anything.

So, anyway, Linnocent had to come to court to see Judge Stephanie Sautner about her probation progress report. If you’d like to see pics of Linnocent’s arrival, go here. She wore stilletos, a long black skirt, and lots of layers. No crack tittays on display – maybe because she was before a female judge? Eh, I doubt Linnocent thinks like that. As far as progress made… well, Linnocent hasn’t done much, of course. She’d rather TALK about how much she’d love to be doing community service (while doing blow) rather than actually do her court-mandated service.

Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear — she is extremely impatient with Lindsay Lohan and her progress in completing probation. Judge Sautner made it clear, Lindsay had better complete her community services within 1 year of the date of sentencing — or else! The judge said, “I’m not going to give her five extra minutes. I don’t want to hear, ‘Oh, I couldn’t do it because I was on the set of the John Gotti movie.'”

The judge was frustrated that after 2 months, Lindsay has only completed 4 days of 60 days of community service. The judge was also upset that Lindsay had not enrolled in psychological counseling — as she’s required to do. The judge is giving her 21 days to sign up with a personal counselor — not a group counselor.

The L.A. County Probation Dept. was asking Judge Sautner to violate Lindsay’s probation, because of 3 alleged violations. Two of them were outright bogus … the third was Lindsay not returning a call from her probation officer. Lindsay did in fact belatedly return the call.

Judge Sautner made it very clear — if Lindsay doesn’t get her act together, the judge will revoke her probation. So jail for Lindsay still looms.

[From TMZ]

Radar also explains that Shawn Chapman Holley agreed with the judge, that Linnocent knows she must complete her community service and she can’t use the “I’m working on a movie!” excuse. Linnocent has already paid her fines, and taken one of four shoplifting courses. If Linnocent doesn’t start psychological counseling (that poor shrink), Linnocent’s probation will be revoked. “Revoked” meaning “go to bed without ice cream!” – which translates, in Linnocent-speak, to “go clubbing, do some lines in the bathroom, and fill your water bottle with vodka.”

Also – here’s a sad/interesting fact: Linnocent’s Screen Actors Guild insurance has lapsed. That happens when an actor hasn’t had a union acting job in years. Because Linnocent no longer has insurance provided by her guild, she’ll probably have to dip into her prostitution money, I’m guessing, to pay for her therapy.

Linnocent’s next probation report/court appearance will be in October. Unless, you know, she screws up again.



Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame & PCN.

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127 Responses to “Linnocent’s probation progress report shows a lazy, uninsured crackhead”

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  1. texasmom says:

    I like how she combines my late-middle-aged-freckled good looks with those girlish hand gestures…

  2. Hannah says:

    “and taken one of four shoplifting courses.”

    Ha! Well at least she’s learning a skill….

  3. the original bellaluna says:

    *hands out the vodka watermelon balls*

    Of course we love it! She’s a very entertaining train-wreck, and I think we all very well know she’s not going to face any real consequences (until she kills someone). But there is nothing like a crack tail-gate to bring a gossip community together.

  4. sapphire says:

    Her fried hair is the same color as the faux fur.

    I get so frustrated with the “or else…” nothing ever happens. No consquences.

  5. TXCinderella says:

    She looks like Cousin It from the Adams Family in the first pic.

  6. Firecracker says:

    Her hairline is receding rapidly! That’s all.

  7. ctkat1 says:

    And in October, she’ll still have only done 4 days of community service, she still won’t have SAG insurance, and she still won’t have started therapy.

    The reason she acts like the rules don’t apply to her?

    Because they never have, and they never will. I would love if probation was revoked and she had to actually spend 6-9 months in jail, but it will never happen.

  8. the original bellaluna says:

    So, is this what’s known as a “catch 22?”

    “I just want to get back to work!” but I can’t because I have to complete my community service and go to counseling (mean ole judge!), and I can’t pay for counseling because my insurance has lapsed (because I’m an unreliable crackhead & no one will hire me) so I can’t GET BACK TO WORK because no one will hire me (for anything significant)!

    (Or is that a “catch 44?” ‘Cause you know Blohan; she doesn’t do anything in moderation.) 😉

  9. the original bellaluna says:

    Yes, it’s hard to tell where that bleach-blonde travesty ends and that fur vest travesty begins.

  10. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Oh, I’m such an evil being for hoping so much that she f*cks up all of this…

    Crack’n’cheese is back on the menu!!!

  11. anoneemouse says:

    Thanks for the Linnocent posts – always makes me feel better about my own life reading about hers!

  12. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Ruby Red – Please pass the crack n cheese. I am STARVING! (& in mod jail)

    @ hannah – As I’ve said before, a “shoplifter’s alternative” is to pay for sh!t. No class required.

  13. searching4grace says:

    I was hoping for a moratorium. Seeing her entitlement makes light fun gossip enjoyment turn instantly into that irritation I get when I’m standing behind someone in line at the gas station who uses food stamps to buy candy and cash to buy cigarettes.

    *edit* A moratorium on Lindsay court pieces. They all say the same thing. Get out of jail free.

  14. 4Real says:

    LOL!!! She looks like cousin it with that stupid vest. Such trash…what a waste.

  15. searching4grace says:

    @ruby red lips Me too. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten out of it.

  16. brin says:

    If she has to dip into her prostitution money for therapy, how will she pay for her crack?
    *waiting for my fellow cracktailgaters to arrive so I can bring out the shrimp cracktail.*

  17. the original bellaluna says:

    @ brin – I’d love some of that shrimp cracktail. Vodka watermelon balls?

  18. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Bellaluna *passing crack & cheese*, can u pass me a few vodka melon balls too pls, they go surprisingly well with c’n’c 🙂

    @ Searching4Grace – it sucks! 🙁

  19. Laurie says:

    If she gave up spray tanning, she would have money for counselling. She must go tanning three times a day to get that oompa loompa color!

  20. NoFrank says:

    That first picture made me laugh. Linnocent Godiva!

  21. TQB says:

    WOW, this article was worth it just for the SAG insurance note. Now *that* is sad.

  22. arock says:

    omg, its like walking into the dining car of the hate train. *warm and fuzzy, self hug*

  23. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Ruby Red & brin – *passing vodka watermelon balls* I love these little get togethers. It’s so nice to have a little “me” time and unwind. And the crack-n-cheese and shrimp cracktail are FABULOUS ladies! 😀

    @ arock – Welcome. Join us, please.

  24. jen says:

    She looks like the B.C caveman in the top pic.

  25. sapphire says:

    Ladies, sorry I’m late : I didn’t recieve the invitation via bike messenger. Allow me to pass the Cosmos.

    Everybody’s on mod in this thread-just to see if Innocent/Diana shows up.
    @ arock-pull up a lawnchair

  26. Ashley says:

    AH! I havent read the article or comments yet, but GROSS! Her hair matches the strange fuzzy vest and it looks like she’s covered in fur.

  27. Saskia says:

    In that linked photo of her arriving for her court appearance, she’s dressed like the love child of Stevie Knicks and Morticia Addams. Except, you know, subtract ALL of the awesome and then tip it upside down and dunk it in a vat of peroxide for at least a year. Like a Betty Crocker recipe for Sad Hot Mess.

  28. the original bellaluna says:

    @ sapphire – Thank you. *sips-or gulps-whatever* Delicious! Vodka watermelon balls? I find them so refreshing in this hot, humid weather. (But did the carrier pigeon show?) 😉

  29. Dani says:

    I predict she won’t complete her community service as ordered but we all know it doesn’t matter. She knows she will never be held accountable. The court always talks tough with her but when push comes to shove they do nothing. It’s a frickin joke and so it goes.

  30. brin says:

    I like how the judge told Lilo she didn’t want to hear any excuses…is she kidding? That’s all Lindsay’s got. She could write a 600 page book of her excuses/crack lies.
    *Please try some tequila infused Jolly Ranchers.*

  31. Quest says:

    @the original bellaluna: save me some of those yummy vodka watermelon balls

    @Ruby Red Lips: the crack & cheese sounds good too

    I’ll bring the music so we can get this party started. LL said we can borrow the fur rug that she’s wearing to roll around after we get drunk

  32. Miss Diagnosed says:

    Yay our own post! @Madisyn and I were over on the Dina thread complaining.

    @bellaluna- I am going to have to pay you my Shoplifter’s Alternative tuition in stolen goods, as I spent the money on crack and vodka. Sorry, but it’s just a principle with me. Pay for drugs, steal everything else.

    Love that Sautner picked Aug 11th as the deadline for Lindsay to find psychological counseling, as that is the date I chose for the Kentucky Crack Races. I have a good feeling about this.

    So pathetic that she has only completed 4 days of her CS. She will never finish in a year.

  33. arock says:

    love it. do excuse the tardiness. came prepared with tequila-cicles and marshmallow, choco and graham. thought we could do some samores on the heels on my stilettos.

    bitches. (in dave chappell prince voice)

  34. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Has anyone seen that Dawn Holland is suing Linnocent??

    And TMZ has a ‘great’ headline stating the the someone on the prosecution has an axe to grind over Linnocent… probably a sane person who wants Linnocent to face actual consequences!!!!

    Thx 4 cosmo’s @ Sapphire 🙂

  35. ladybert62 says:

    Ladies – all of your hilarious posts made me laugh my head off! Thanks, I needed that!

    So they offer courses in shoplifting? ha ha

    Based on linnocent’s history, no judge in california will ever make this excuse for a human being do any time in jail! I no longer believe the judge’s “or else” – obviously neither does linnocent!

  36. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Quest, good plan with the music! But can we get the fur fumigated b4 we start rolling on it 😉

  37. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Miss Diagnosed – I’ll take the vodka…unless you have some awesome shoes, size 9 and a half.

    Yeah, so that’s the real reason there haven’t pix of her trotting her ass to and from the battered women’s shelter. I just want one, ONE, priceless photo of her in the morgue.

    @ Quest – I brought some ziploc snack baggies. Have a full one. (Or two or three, what the hell!)

  38. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Kaiser & CB – Thank you from the bottom of my heart for indulging us. It is so very appreciated!

    @ arock – Please pass me a tequila-cicle.

    @ Ruby Red – Do tell…!

  39. Ruby Red Lips says:

    As @Bellaluna and @Ladybert62 have mentioned the shop lifting courses… my question is ‘they have 4’?!?!? WTF??? Am confused, as @Bellaluna posted, surely the alternative is to….just pay for it!!! How can there be 4 courses?? To do what?? Need more crack snacks and shots of delusion!

  40. original kate says:

    what do you mean lohan can’t work?! she could definitely get a role as an extra in “grey gardens.”

    i’m bringing tofu potstickers in crack sauce to the tailgate party.

  41. madpoe says:

    I was thinkin the same thing!…but a bleached out cousin IT.
    Its kinda sad, Lilo keeps so many employed yet she can’t get real work. I’ve no more pities left.

  42. the original bellaluna says:

    @ original kate – Ooooh, yummy!

    @ Ruby Red – Shots of delusion all around! Ladies, raise your glasses. *clink*

  43. brin says:

    I love our crackpot-luck get togethers in honor of our favorite crackpot!
    I just made a batch of Lintinis…extra strong….drink up!

  44. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Bellaluna, basically ‘people close to Linnocent’ think the probation officer is out to get Linnocent (reading b/wn the lines Dina!) Poor victim child Linnocent!!

    And Dawn Holland is suing her 4 the assult/attack back at rehab, obv just to get ‘millions of dollars’ out of Linnocent! Dawn better hope Linnocent gets back to the hooking then!

  45. the original bellaluna says:

    @ brin – Oh, y’all are gonna get me plastered! But where’s @ Madisyn with that 7 Layer Lohan Dip? That stuff’s the bomb!

    I love our little get-togethers too. Sounds like our next one will be on August 11. Or soon thereafter. (Cause Blohan can only get into parties, get people to pay for her drugs, and get them to pay her rent. Counseling is like number 9,888,675 on the bottom of her list!)

    @ Ruby Red – Yeah…ok…and where is @Innocent? Oh, right…not home from the courthouse yet. Probably stopped off for a liquid lunch! (And some blow, of course.)

    And Yes! I thought I saw a snippet about that.

  46. arock says:

    i thought i saw she had a 6 month psychological evaluation coming up at the end of sept. something to do with the conditions of staying out of court ordered rehab? we’ll see if she can keep her sticky fingers out of the budget bin til then. i guess that puts cracktoberfest on the calender.

  47. gee says:

    I love the joy a Linnocent post brings! It’s like Crack Christmas.

  48. Tiffany says:

    Pork Cracklins all around. Will she implode by my guess? Mmmm, vodka watermelon balls, it’s hot out there!

  49. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Raising my glass back at you @ Bellaluna and all the other ladies here! And looking 4ward to trying the lintini @ Brin!

  50. Blue says:

    Is she really considered a celebrity still. I know they treat celebrities with kid gloves and don’t hold them accountable for their actions but why does that still apply to her. She’s a 25 year has been or at least she should be. But she’s still getting attention. That’s why she doesn’t learn or care. If people stopped paying her mind she would be real people broke, get her life together and do something worth talking about.

  51. Rhiley says:

    Katherine Heigl better change her look quick because Linnocent is looking a lot like her today.
    I was thinking the other day, when I was watching the preview for The Help, which stars Emma Stone, that it is really the type of movie role Lindsanity could have played if she had kept her life a little more on the straight and narrow. In fact, if Lilo could have kept it together, I think she could have won a lot of the roles that are now going to Emma Stone. I hope Emma can keep it together and keep her nose away from the candy jar.

  52. koala says:

    she really looks 45. no joke. she’s fug and looks high in the last couple pics. bad people get what they deserve; in lilo’s case, it may not be jail time. but to lose your looks at 25!? HAHAHA i’m sure she’s not pleased about that fact.

  53. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Does anyone know where @ Madisyn is? our little crack party just isn’t the same w/o her 🙁

  54. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Tiffany – Have some! *passes vodka watermelon balls*

    @ Blue – I think the correct word to describe Linnocent is “notorious” not famous or celebrity. For the most part, she’s become a joke. She doesn’t care, and she won’t change.

    @ Ruby Red – Nope, but I miss her. And her Layered Lohan Dip.

  55. Madisyn says:

    @ Miss Diagnosed, thanks!

    NOTE: I posted this before reading the article and before reading the comments, so if I duplicate a thought, I apologize.

    Did you notice that the minute the prosecution wanted a “finacial review” of Blohans finances, she told Holley it wouldn’t be a problem paying for individual conseling? She dropped that lie like a hot crack pipe.

    Now, no appearance on Aug. 11 but must appear on Oct. 19th, so lets schedule a crack tailgate for that date, if not sooner.

    What I found interesting is how she doesn’t have health insurance. Funny how she can ‘work’ all the time but doesn’t have SAG insurance. Know why? Because NO ONE WILL PUT HER IN THEIR MOVIE. I highly doubt her CAMEO in the Gotti film will change that.

    Oh, the probation report is up on TMZ, can’t wait to read. You know what I find absolutely beyond disgusting? The probation officer AND the City Attorney both wanted her probation violated and A G A I N the judge just shot it down. AGAIN!

    I think I’m in awe of Blohan, even the “Teflon Don” himself could not get out of trouble the number of times this twit has.

    EDIT: Even I concede after reading the 3 reasons she was hauled back into court, even I, would not have violated FOR THOSE 3 REASONS ALONE! Of course, she should have went to jail YEARS AGO for more flagrant violations.

  56. Bex says:

    And you know that those 4 times she did community service was on the days she woke up and there was no pap in sight. So quick, pop on a see-through top, call the agency and get the photo op walking into the women’s shelter.

  57. seal team 6 says:

    WHOA! No SAG insurance??? Anyone other actor would be embarrassed, but of course not her.

    Lots of times soaps, etc. have given actors just enough work to keep their insurance, so that they could go to rehab, treat some psych issues, get chemo, etc. Especially when the AIDS crisis started. I doubt that will happen with Linnocent.

    Her rent is 7K a MONTH and she asked the Court for financial assistance for a shrink that will do her no good (because therapy doesn’t work on sociopaths)? Chutzpah.

  58. Quest says:

    @Ruby Red Lips: I don’t think we need to fumigate, since we will all be hammered after those vodka soaked melonballs … but just in-case I will have it done so we don’t end up like the Hangover dudes.

    Cheers-n-raising my glass back @ Bellaluna; Ruby Red Lips; Brin;original kate; arock; et al…here’s to a rocking night of crack-shenanegans.

  59. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – There you are! *hands you a shot of delusion, vodka watermelon balls*

    (ARGH! mod jail!) *clinks lintini glass against bars*

  60. Denise says:

    Today is my birthday; I’m currently unemployed, but after reading all of this, I am very happy with my life.

  61. Blue says:

    Also, why can’t she finish her community service? She has nothing but free time on her hands.

  62. Mary jones says:

    She cant afford counseling? I read she rents her venice condo for 8 grand a month. She wears louboutins to court.

  63. brin says:

    Everyone save the date (August 11th) for our next scheduled cracktailgate party. I do try to keep ingredients on hand for an emergency hearing, though (you know our little Crackie!).

  64. brin says:

    Happy Birthday, Denise! Have a lintini!

  65. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Denise – Happy Birthday and welcome! Vodka watermelon balls? Shot of delusion? Anything? 😀

  66. Firecracker says:

    Hope you are having a great birthday, Denise! I didn’t realize there was a party here…I just whipped up some spinach artichoke jalopeno dip. It’s hot n ready in my mini-slow cooker! Are there any watermelon balls left??

  67. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @bellaluna- Girl, I will go through my loot and get you hooked up real good!

    @Madisyn- Good, you got my message!

    May I just say as a mentally ill person, that it was so ridiculous to watch Holley try and BS her way out of why Lindsay hadn’t started her psychological counseling yet? The whole, “We’re worried about people selling secrets to the paparazzi, blah, blah.” Oh, please. There is a code of ethics in those meetings. What’s said there, stays there. And why would she even go to group meetings if she’s worried about her privacy? I’m glad Sautner insisted on one-on-one counseling.

    Now, as for her not having insurance, blah, blah. So what? I’m as broke as a joke, yet I see my psychiatrist on a regular basis. It’s called getting your F*CKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT, and BUDGETING for what’s important in your life. I’m so sick of her lame excuses as to why she can’t do this or that, yet she has the money for hair extensions, booze, drugs, shopping excursions, etc.

    Just my observation, with a twist of rant on the side.

  68. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Firecracker – Yup! Have some *passes on to you* Someone else may want to keep custody of those watermelon balls. I’ve been here awhile, and am starting to feel the effects. Yum, spinach-artichoke-jalapeno dip! I LOVE IT! I have pita; let’s get on that!

    (FYI, we have crack tail-gate parties whenever Linnocent Blohan has a court hearing. And THEY. ARE. AWESOME.)

  69. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Miss Diagnosed – Awesome, can’t wait for the hook-up! Yeah, most of have us our priorities straight. (Or straight-ISH, anyway.)

    @ Madisyn – I would pay good crack and vodka to see those financial records! I bet they are a disaster on E-P-I-C levels! It would be worth it just to find out exactly WHO is paying her, and for WHAT. The HOW MUCH would just be a bonus!

  70. sapphire says:

    @bellaluna-the pidgeon got here but my pug and cats ate it for lunch.

    Hmmm-financial review-well, even Linnocent is smart enough to demand some cash up front from Plum and the other vidiots. And her buddy the photographer that helps her with the attenion seeking show be good for a loan.
    I still am wondering where the jack to pay Holley is coming from or is it PR credit.

    Wonderful party, ladies. Thank you CB and Kaiser as the most discerning hostesses.

  71. Firecracker says:

    Bellaluna, good to know, thanks! I’ll make sure to attend all the crack tailgate parties from now on! *hands out homemade brownies for dessert*

  72. brin says:

    Let’s lift our glasses to Kaiser, who brings us all together with her cracktastic Linnocent posts…To Kaiser! *clink*

  73. Ruby Red Lips says:

    To Kaiser & CB *clink* 🙂

    @ Firecracker, lurve the brownies!

  74. Madisyn says:

    @ bellaluna, I’m here, I’m here. I’ve been checking back here constantly. If @ Miss Diagnosed hadn’t retreived me from the Dina post, cuz there wasn’t one here that I could find, we were communicating over there.

    Anyhoodle, I posted my serious comments above but now for those that requested it, here it is: Seven Layer Lohan Dip

    1. Weed (bottom layer)
    2. Percocet
    3. Dilaudid
    4. Adderall
    5. Oxy
    6. Vicodin
    7. Crack (of course)

    Bon Crackatit, enjoy.

  75. Eileen says:

    Can you hear that shakin’? Its cracktini time! Hey girls-I see our patron Saint Cracken isn’t letting us down to actually make any changes after her house arrest. Party on.

  76. the original bellaluna says:

    To Kaiser! (Who patiently indulges us in our foolery.) *raises glass*

    @ Madisyn – Oh, yummy. My corn chips were naked without this!

    @ Eileen – YAY! You’re here! Shomebuddy give Eileen some vodka waddermelon balls…and please, juss pour the cracktini in my mouth. I’ve been partyin’ like a Lohan. *leans to the side, supported by the wall*

  77. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @Cheyenne- “What the hell did she do with all her money? Snort it up her nose?”

    *sniff* *sniff* *snooooooooort* um, what was the question again?

    Yeah, pretty much. Plus she’s a massive hoarder when it comes to clothes and accessories. Oh, wait. I don’t know if she actually PAID for all of them though.

  78. Hannah says:

    @miss diagnosed–I totally agree with respect to budgeting. I’d have so much more discretionary income if I didn’t have to go to therapy. Of course, since I’m bipolar my life would be a mess….

    I heard on the radio she specifically said that she could not afford her UCLA shrink and thus needed to go to no or low cost counselling.
    I go to a UCLA psychiatrist and their fees are set up UCLA. I see the head of the hospital and i pay far less than I would if he were in practice in Beverly Hills.

  79. brin says:

    Yay….Eileen made it!
    @Madisyn….I blacked out just from reading the ingredients!

  80. Lady D says:

    Hey sorry I’m late, school went into OT. I have brought the potato salad this time. I salt and peppered it with ground-up crack and meth infused peppercorns. I polished off a couple of tequila-sicles while making it. What I need now is one of Elaine’s cracktinis with the crushed Percocet rim to wash down my watermelon ball decorated “special brownie” for dessert. Maybe this will cool the disgust burning in my mind.

  81. Rita says:

    Pooooop!!!! I missed it all. Had to run an errand. Mia Copas to Bellaluna who worked so hard on the vodka service. Anyway, I get to enjoy it through all your comments. Honorable Mentions to all and especially @Kaiser who delivers it so well.

  82. Lady D says:

    Hi Elaine, you arrived while I was posting. Good to see ya.
    Madisyn, WOW. You win this crack-off.
    Kaiser, thanks and have a drink. You deserve it for covering Crackie for us.

  83. Anne de Vries says:

    whaha, she looks like she’s wearing a coat of her own fried hair

  84. Eileen says:

    @Bellaluna- excellent watermelon balls-I can see a teabag in my future with them ala Lohan Style! 😀

  85. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Lady D – I would shurre love shome of that potato shalad…

    @ Firecracker – And a brownie…

    And then maybe a nap…

  86. Firecracker says:

    Madisyn, that 7 layer dip is making me trip n fall on my butt! On top of the watermelon balls and brownies, I’m about done for!

  87. Madisyn says:

    @ Ruby Red, thank you so much for your sweet sweet comment. Please pass the crack ‘n’ cheese.

    @ bellaluna, thank you too! Although I don’t need a shot of delusion, as I knew nothing would happened to the little twit, I will have half a dozen vodka soaked watermelon balls. Nevermind, just pass the whole tray.

    @ Miss Diagnosed, thanks again for getting me to the party. I look like Blohan at her court date today, looking like what the cat dragged in. God she looked awful and hungover. As for not being able to afford couseling, she sure changed her tune the minute the prosecution suggested going over her financials, didn’t she? Sell the expensive shoes on your feet, hawk some of that jewelry you stole from numerous photoshoots, and get back to hookin, quick. That will solve the money issue.

    @ brin “CRACKPOT LUCK” Loves it. You need to use that one again. Perfect. It consists of Blohan and Us. “Crackpot” for Blohan and “Pot Luck” for us and our crack tailgates.

    @ arock, “CRACKTOBERFEST” Brilliant, with your permission I’d like to use that in future posts.

  88. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @Hannah- I can’t believe a word that comes out of Lindsay’s mouth, I really can’t. She has the money to steal, oops I mean shop for designer clothes, shoes, jewelry, get her hair done with extensions, go out for dinner, etc. She pays nearly $8,000.00 per month in rent, has a lawyer and a publicist at her beck and call, and she cries that she can’t afford something that may save her life.

    I have Bipolar as well, and I scrimp and save because I know how important therapy is to me. If it means I can’t go out to dinner or see a movie in the theater, or shop at a trendy store, fine. Lindsay needs a wake up call. And if being broke is it, which I highly doubt, then so be it. My thought is that it was only being used as an excuse as to why she hadn’t enrolled and didn’t WANT to enroll in therapy. She doesn’t think she needs it.

    There are many therapists that use a sliding scale payment option. My psychiatrist uses one. Lindsay has not put in the time or effort to look for these options. She’s always looking for the easy way out, so she has an excuse when the deadline arrives.

  89. dorothy says:

    I wonder what is she using to live on? She hasn’t worked in years and aside from some pathetic gigs as a psychic hotline commercial and an even sadder music video she apparently just sits home or parties all the time.

  90. Cheyenne says:

    @Miss Diagnosed: She probably gets all her clothes and accessories on a “five-finger discount”.

  91. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @Madisyn- No problem! I was about to go on the Dina thread when I saw the story and I quickly scanned the comments, but didn’t see you here, so I thought I’d grab you. It ain’t a party without you!

    Yeah, can you imagine what’s in her finances? They should get Suze Orman to scour through them, like Oprah did with Octopussy. Hoo Boy! And then sit her down on the stage and yell at her. I’d pay good money to see that. To bad Oprah’s show is over. That would have been awesome.

    And yeah, St. Linnocent did look atrocious today. She had a big zit or something on her cheek that was distracting me. She looked really tired and washed out. I guess she was up all night drinking pots of “tea” to calm her nerves. Heh, heh.

  92. Ruby Red Lips says:

    “I don’t know whether she is working or what she is doing to get an income…” Judge Saunter on Linnocent’s apparent financial woes!!!

    Hmmmm….hooking maybe?!

    @ Madisyn, just v true 🙂 Its only a perfect crack party with everyone involved *passing crack’n’cheese*
    Hoping @ Bellaluna manages to stay on her feet 😉 Those vodka melon balls are lethal!

    @Lady D , can I have some potato salad? Sounds so crackingly good!

    Also thinking of getting crackie white blonde fake hair extensions to go with all the crack snacks, what do you guys think??

  93. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Rita – Good to shee you! Shtill plenty to go around! Enjoy!

    A wonderful quote from Michael K: “LiLo is a condom to the California Justice System’s Jim Bob Duggar.” I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it’s funny as hell. (Or is it just me?)

  94. Boo says:

    I was quite surprised that our dear Crackie was hiding behind Shawn for much of today’s show. Normally she likes to smirk for the camera. Maybe she didn’t want the audience to see her snicker when Holley said she needed “low/no cost therapy.”

    If you are such a BIG STAR that you cannot be in group therapy with the mere mortals, you need to suck it up and pay for it. I believe that is what Judge Steph said, actually.

  95. arock says:

    ladies thank you for a wonderful party, i cant imagine what i would have drank with out you.
    @bellaluna- cheers for the melon vodka
    @madison-but of course you may have the rights to cracktoberfest, but you must bring 7 lohan layer dip, and a pipe to eat it with.
    off with my tatas and hand bag…
    *blowing kisses and doing the queen wave*

  96. Madisyn says:

    @ Sapphire you said, “@ arock-pull up a lawnchair” Lawnchair? Lawnchair? I know I was late to the party but I only got a metal folding chair. And I brought the dip. (Joking)

    @ Blue, “Also, why can’t she finish her community service? She has nothing but free time on her hands”. Thats the joke, in and of itself. If she stayed in ONCE IN AWHILE, she wouldn’t be hungover and could just saunter on down to do her CS and get it over with. But she won’t. Bad for her, good for our crack-tailgates.

    @ Eileen, Glad you made it, I almost didn’t make it myself. I’ll have a cracktini please, make mine a double.

    @ bellaluna, “I’ve been partyin’ like a Lohan. *leans to the side, supported by the wall*” That visual was great. You forgot, only one eye open and slurring your words.

    @ Lady D, thanks for the compliment but I came up with this recipe 2 crack red carpet court appearances ago, I just repost because @ bellaluna and @ Ruby Red mention it and I guess for new crack-tailgaters. Now, please pass the pototoe salad.

    @ Firecracker, this is a small celebration compared to the REAL PARTY when this twit actually goes to jail. Then your going to know what being f*cked up ‘like a Lohan’ really is.

    @ Miss Diagnosed, darlin it wouldn’t be a party without you either. Yeah, I couldn’t help but notice she looked reeeaaallly hungover. That twit wouldn’t know what TEA was unless it was a ‘LONG ISLAND ICE TEA’.

    @ arock, I don’t want the RIGHTS to ‘cracktoberfest’, I just want to borrow that word in future posts, as I think its ggggrrreeeaaattt. Speaking of tata’s, did anyone else notice they were flopping everywhere while sauntering into court?

  97. Seal Team 6 says:

    I am so sad I was too busy to attend the Crack Tailgater, Damn. I did just make some crack cream sundaes for us all as a mea culpa.

  98. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @Madisyn- Ah, thanks sweetie!

    And thanks Lindsay for being such a screw up. You make me feel like a million bucks, as well as look like a supermodel compared to you. Ahahahahaha!

    Enjoy the rest of the party ladies, and any gents that may happen to stroll by. It’s been awesome.

  99. OhMyMy says:

    The stuff isn’t stolen….it’s “economically liberated”.

    @original kate: Love the grey gardens comment. I watched it the other day. I can totally see a new Lohan version happen (on LI as well too).

    L: Oh Mother Deah!!
    D: Linday get back to reading your scripts! You need a comeback.
    L: I can totally get an Oscar from this one Mother Deah. What do you think of this outfit?
    D: Is Ali back from the liquor store yet? I’m out of vodka!!!!

    The SAG insurance probably has some mininmum work requirement or just keeping up with your dues or a combo to be eligible for coverage. Why would they cover every actor in Hollywood? She hasn’t worked in years (nothing significant).

  100. Bess says:

    I can’t believe the judge laugh in Shawn Holley’s face when tried the whole, “My client can’t afford it.” If someone is going to plead poverty, he or she shouldn’t show up to court with an assistant and a designer outfit.

  101. the original bellaluna says:

    Ok, ok, I’m back. Had a little crack-nap.

    @ Seal Team 6 – I’m just happy to see you. I wondered where you were.

    @ Oh My My – “Economically liberated” LOL. That’s funny. Love the LI Grey Gardens scrip you wrote. It’s better than anything Blohan’s been in in “yeahs.” 🙂

  102. Hautie says:

    Holy crap… I was going to skip this whole round of Crackhead Drama 2011.

    Then I got a good look at her court pictures over at Tyler’s…

    So it looks to me that Lindsay showed up to court high as hell. How did the Judge miss commenting on the fact the girl was high, is beyond me.

    So she can’t afford her required Therapy. But she obviously had enough cash to buy her meth.

  103. Madisyn says:

    @ Bess and OhMyMy

    The crying poverty is a joke. Like you said:

    1. Don’t show up with a personal assistant.
    2. Don’t pull up in an expensive SUV
    3. Even the judge knows Shawn Holley is NOT for the destitute and poor
    4. Don’t show up in $1200 Louboutins
    5. Lips perfectly DUCKED out
    6. Hair freshly bleached
    7. Lives in a $7000 month apartment
    8. Don’t show up in designer clothes
    9. Jesus, don’t wear your stolen jewelry

    And thats just TODAY! Forget the ‘dinners’ out, flying to NY to see mommy, drugs, booze, constant shopping trips, I could go on but you get the gist.

    Regarding the SAG insurance, yeah, you have to work X amount of hours to be eligible. And she hasn’t worked in YEARS! Flying to Miami for no-name magazine photoshoots and doing music videos does not count with SAG as ‘working’.

    This twit is claiming poverty, right? How can she claim she has no money, just last month, she ‘worked’ more on her house arrest than she has in YEARS. Lets refresh, shall we. Photoshoots on the roof, pap poses for TMZ and RADAR, commencials for scam auction sites on the internet and interviews with Italian VF. Whats the problem?

    @ bellaluna, oh my are we up from our crack nap? While leaning against that wall, you slllooowwwly slid down but you were so serene looking and cozy on that white rug thing Blohan was modeling in the top picture, the girls and I thought we’d let you sleep.

  104. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Just found this photo of Linnocent all dressed up in March this year…I mean look at her, she has major druggie eyes, looks very much like serious heroin traces, (heroin addicts usually get this dead look in their eyes with brown rings/bags) She is so cracked out here and looking at the photos from court today, dead eyes again, she’s a drug addled mess. would be really sad if she wasn’t so entitled! Crackie is an f’ing mess!

  105. DethHammer says:

    Ok, it’s time for dessert everyone, and I whipped up some meth “ice” cream sundaes– topped with chocolate fudge made from powdered nose candy that isn’t sugar!!

  106. lisa good says:

    Move that cone I’m lindsey lohan!!!

  107. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    Wow Linnocent is lookin a lot like Goopy so is crack part of the high end diet?

  108. wow!! says:

    ugh, I’m soooooo sick of her! Next!!

  109. Miss Diagnosed says:

    When Courtney Love lost that Twitter defamation lawsuit, she needed some cash, so she put some of her designer clothes up for auction on ebay. Now seriously folks, if there are people out there that would actually buy something Courtney has worn, and they did sell mind you, there has got to be a market for Lindsay.

    Also Lindsay knows some pretty skeevy guys, so I’m sure she could work out an “arrangement” with at least one of them for some quick cash. However, I’m still calling BS on her being broke. She has money, she just doesn’t want to go to therapy.

  110. Devon says:

    She looked like mother fucking shit in court. The bloated face, the sallow skin, the cracked out eyes. Bitch is only 25…

  111. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Oh gross! ICK. NAST. Fumigate me now; fumigate me now!

    @ Seal Team & DethHammer – I’d love some dessert, thanks. Right after my Silkwood Shower.

  112. Cherry Rose says:

    My dad and I were talking about Shawn Holly, and he said she must be getting tired of Lindsay’s numerous court dates.

    I had to counteract with that Shawn is getting pretty rich off Linnocent here. I have no doubt that Shawn knows exactly what kind of person Lindsay is, thus she makes Lindsay probably pay her up front or right after a court appearance, because she knows Lindsay will convienetly “forget” to pay her otherwise.

    It was funny to see Lindsay change her tune when the prosecution said “Let’s look over her finances”. Probably because half the money she earns comes from “other activities not to be mentioned”.

    But I highly doubt that Lindsay will even complete her community service. She’ll find some excuse of why she couldn’t go, not that it matters anymore.

  113. Miss Diagnosed says:

    @Cherry Rose- I would so love it if the IRS would “look over her finances” for her. Those dudes don’t mess around. Maybe then this idiot would finally go to jail, and not just for a couple of hours or days.

    Knowing her though, she’d manage to wriggle out of it somehow, with her tongue. Oh, did I say that out loud? Pardon me.

  114. constance says:

    I know her “assets” aren’t as good as the barely legal days. Let’s face it folks. Last known, confirmed clean upstanding boyfriend? Anyone? Remember a name off the top of your head? I sure don’t. She needs to give it up and clean up.

    The more we know, the richer the case that her family needs to be brushed under the rug like crack pipe ashes.

  115. skeptical says:

    did lilo have a facial peel or something? her face seems less orange and a bit more red than usual, and that doesn’t match her neck. her forehead wrinkles are still there but don’t seem as deep. looks like a peel to me cuz the pinkish is where a facial mask would go, on the cheeks and down the noes, but at the sides of her head there’s still a bit more tanner orangey thing going on.
    plus the freckles seem lessened in some parts of her face.
    lips are still ducky ofc
    anyone else notice this or am i just strange?

  116. Hmmm says:


    And BTW, she’s looking ugly these days.

  117. trh says:

    WOW what an awesome party!!! I know I’m late but i brought more Lohan dip. I replaced layer 6 with diazepam (valium) since i find that percocets metabolize better than vicoden (oxycodone vs hydrocodone) and you really only need one layer of codine… sorry my spelling is whack because i had to lick the bowl.. oh yeah and i’m fresh out of oxycontin but you’ll love the morphine sulphate i used instead… uuhhhhhmmmm uhhhh where am i? HEY Dig in everybody!!!!

  118. Madisyn says:

    @ skeptical, “did lilo have a facial peel or something? her face seems less orange and a bit more red than usual”.

    In my opinion, this less orange, more red in the face is an alcohol binge, like maybe, five days worth. Personally I should know, I’ve been there. Not eating right and drinking for several days will leave your face red. God only knows what else she’s injesting. The red doesn’t necessarily present itself anywhere but the face. Not to mention, did you see that hungover face/coke bloat in court this morning? She really looked horrible.

  119. skeptical says:

    @Madisyn ahh.. i never thought of that. i assumed she was boozing once the testing stopped but i live under a rock and can’t spot the signs real well. Tho considering her apparent plastic surgery, i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a peel in there as well as the boozing.

    What i also notice is.. she seems very … “alert” let’s say. Like her eyes have this almost creepy focus at times. Is that what being wired looks like?
    and are those jowls? Wow, I’ve noticed at times her lower cheeks seemed to slowly be falling off her face but somehow i didn’t notice the double chin much. i’d love a plastic surgeon’s opinion and/or a dermatologist. i find that kind of stuff fascinating.

    also umm… am i the only one who sometimes sees a resemblence to Kirstie Alley? maybe it’s the hair 🙂

  120. I am Legend says:

    She’s starting to look a lot like Dana Plato and I think she’ll meet a similiar end. (Dana was more likable though).

  121. Quest says:

    I think I had one too many vodka melon balls…. 🙂 amoung the wide assortment of snacks. I totally enjoyed the cracked-out party and look forward to the Aug 11th reunion.

  122. MarenGermany says:

    she will f*ck up

    if she is not required to do drug and alcohol testing it is only a matter of time til the next crack-meltdown.

    you guys just know it.

    BTW: we dont need to feel guilty for loving this. lindsay lohan is a vile, mean, nasty, empty human being who would spit on all of our graves if she could somehow gain from it.

    so lets just enjoy the ride!

  123. TXCinderella says:

    She’s spending all her money on spray tan, lip plumpers, expensive clothes and shoes. It’s all about the outward appearance. She needs to get a clue and work on her inner self. She thinks she can get away with anything because she is a star. Her days of fame are numbered, people are sick of her.

  124. logan says:

    Go team Lowhand. Keep the drama coming. Summer is just starting!!!
    p.s. Love, love, love the rat vest in the top pic.

  125. jennifer lewis says:

    the first pic made me laugh

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