Scott Disick is the subject of this week’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About…” piece in Us Weekly. He is, in a word, DISGUSTING. Is it a good thing that I chuckled and winced throughout the whole piece? Scott Disick is a d-bag, this is nothing shocking. Some theorize that he plays up his perceived douchiness for the cameras, because he’s been cast as “the villain”. Some theorize that he’s probably a lot worse when the cameras are off. This piece would seem to indicate that Scott is at best a total a–hole, and at worse, a Patrick Bateman-esque serial killer:

1. I am an only child.
2. I don’t use coasters for drinks because I don’t respect surfaces.
3. I don’t tolerate lactose.
4. I eat tons of snacks every night in bed. Usually Goldfish crackers and pretzels.
5. Cars and watches are my hobbies.
6. The coolest person I know is my son [Mason, 20 months].
7. I represent New York.
8. I have a really hard time sleeping every night.
9. My favorite movie is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
10. I’m obsessed with motorcycle and car racing.
11. I used to have long hair down to my shoulders.
12. My parents call me at least 10 times a day.
13. I order Chinese food once a week.
14. I’m as choosy about beverages as I am about clothing, and I prefer VnC Cocktails — the Pacific Breeze reminds me of the Caribbean.
15. I hate when people tell me they watch the show because their wives or girlfriends make them.
16. I tie the best double Windsor tie knot.
17. I don’t wear underwear with suits.
18. I don’t like doing interviews or being asked about myself.
19. I only own one pair of sweatpants.
20. My favorite thing about Kourtney is her sense of humor and how she makes me laugh!
21. I’d rather talk on the phone than text.
22. When I’m alone, I drive with no music on because it gives me time to think.
23. My favorite song is “Return of the Mack.”
24. After a trip, I don’t unpack my luggage until the next trip.
25. I watch Seinfeld every night before bed.

[From Us Weekly]

He gives only children a bad name! We’re not all like this, I swear. Anyway, now I can’t get the images out of my head. Scott Disick driving around in a suit (with no underwear), his tie in the perfect Windsor knot, not listening to music, looking for his next victim. *shiver*

My favorites were “I don’t use coasters for drinks because I don’t respect surfaces” (WTF?), “Cars and watches are my hobbies” (no, COLLECTING cars and watches would be considered a “hobby”, not the objects themselves), and “My parents call me at least 10 times a day” (his parents need to chill, but they made him this way, right?) and “After a trip, I don’t unpack my luggage until the next trip” – which means that when he packs your body in a suitcase, it takes him forever to unload it. So if we’re ever missing a Kardashian or a Jenner, look for his suitcase.

Photos courtesy of WENN.