Gwyneth Paltrow covers Elle: “You can never be relaxed or smug” about marriage


Gwyneth Paltrow is the September cover girl for Elle Magazine, because she’s promoting…Contagion? But doesn’t she die really quickly in that movie? They put her stroke face and her death front and center in the trailer, so surely a quickie death part in a budget Soderbergh film about the bird flu doesn’t warrant the cover of Elle? But it’s Dame Gwyneth, so the would have put her on the cover if she just wanted to talk about her farts. Guess what she does talk about, though? BEYONCE!! Because Goop and Bey are TIGHT. Because Goop is totally over Madonna. Because Bey is cooler, smarter, hipper and younger than Madge. Because Gwyneth thinks she can be cool by association! Also: Goop talks about Chris Martin and her marriage… which she’s been doing a lot lately. Interesting…


On getting support from Beyoncé on her surprise duet with Cee-Lo Green at the Grammys: “This story always makes me cry…It’s 10 in the morning and Beyonce schleps it all the way down to the Staples Center to watch. I mean, she’s Beyonce!”

On the advice Beyoncé gave her before her performance: “Beyonce’s like, ‘OK. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we’re at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!'”

On going public with her personal care regimens: “It’s so much easier to sit home and not exercise and criticize other people. What I love is inspiring people. People come up to me and say, ‘I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.'”

On her decision to take on other roles like ‘Glee’ to be able to focus more on family: “I can do short jobs. If I was still starring in three movies every year, there’s no way that I’d be the person my kids want when they fall down.”

On the false rumors of a split: “Sometimes it’s hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren’t all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what’s going to happen. If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He’s such a good dad. You can never be relaxed or smug and think, ‘I’ve got this thing.’ That’s also part of it: keeping yourself on your toes. I’m not going to take this for granted.”

On creating a solo album: “Beyonce and Jay — they think that I should just go do it by myself. That I should go … in a studio and see what happens. And if it’s good, do it. And if it’s not, don’t. So that’s probably what I’ll do.”

On keeping her marriage to Chris Martin out of the spotlight: “He makes music for his fans, and he doesn’t want people to conjure a lame famous couple when they’re getting into his music. I get it.”

On her much-talked about appearance on ‘Chelsea Lately’: “Doing Chelsea Handler is like doing Howard Stern: You’ve gotta rise to the occasion. It’s good to shock people who think of me as the prim Gwyneth Paltrow.”

[From Elle via Wonderwall]

So many goodies in here, right? First, for the Jane Austen fans out there – what Austen supporting character does Gwyneth remind you of? Mr. Elton’s wife from Emma, right? Mrs. Elton was the queen of saying stuff like, “People say I have an eye for fine art” or “My dear friend and fishmonger thinks that I should record an album, he’s always telling me how beautiful my voice is.” Because if you cite another person’s compliment, you’re not really bragging or being a narcissistic monster, right?

As for her comments on Chris – “We go through periods that aren’t all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what’s going to happen. If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He’s such a good dad. You can never be relaxed or smug and think, ‘I’ve got this thing.’ That’s also part of it: keeping yourself on your toes. I’m not going to take this for granted” — while I usually enjoy hating on Goop, this made me really sad. I just feel like she clinging to a bad marriage because she just doesn’t think it’s acceptable for her to get a divorce (because it’s so peasanty). I can feel her telling herself that it’s going to get better, that he’ll come around. I also think Gwyneth is pulling a Jennifer Lopez, sort of. If and when Goop and Chris split, the “If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He’s such a good dad” quote will be brought up over and over again.





Elle photos courtesy of The Fashion Spot.

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86 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow covers Elle: “You can never be relaxed or smug” about marriage”

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  1. brin says:

    She’s so insufferable…I feel sorry for the interviewer.

  2. meg says:

    How sad. I mean, I thought the whole point of marrying someone was to be comfortable and “family”. I could totally see her trying to make him jealous and he’s all “whatever”. If I had to be on high alert all the time with my hubby, I’d be too exhausted for anything else! It does sound like a split is coming soon.

  3. Cherry says:

    OMG she’s getting worse by the minute!
    “Beyonce’s like, ‘OK. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we’re at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”
    1. Beyoncé thinks Goop’s singing is great?
    2. She thinks the only thing that’s wrong with Goop’s performances is that she’s not having any fun?
    3. They go to Jay’s concerts together?
    4. Goop does a crazy Indian dance?
    5. That according to Beyoncé should be included in her performance?

    EDIT: Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ‘Beyonce and Jay — they think that I should just go do it by myself’ comment. Sure they do, Goop.

  4. CallieTrichid says:

    If doing Chelsea Handler is like doing Howard Stern, why not just do Howard Stern?

    At least Stern is funny and able to get a good interview out of anyone. Oh, wait–it’s because he’s for the peasants. That’s right.

  5. Meadowlark says:

    Totally Mr. Elton’s wife! And, also, any annoying/self-aggrandizing wife from a rom-com… You know, the one who secretly has a loveless marriage with a checked-out husband and you suddenly feel bad for them. 🙁

  6. Susan O. says:

    Her words are especially true when your husband is swarmed with adoring groupies while touring months on end. Tough for a marriage to survive that.

  7. lola says:

    bwahahah, she is so in love with being bffs with beyonce and jay-z. She feels way cooler now and less frigid. lol

    And that part about her husband is depressing. It sounds like he’s embarrassed of her, she’s like “I get it” as to why he refuses to be seen with her ever. It’s not like “this is how we like it,” it’s “I get it” as in it’s his issue more than hers.

    He seems like a way bigger pretentious douche than she is, especially after all those reports he was schtupping gwenyth’s then friend kate bosworth on the side.

  8. Andrea says:

    She’s nothing but a name dropper!!!!

  9. ladybert62 says:

    I am sick of gwennie! and I am sick of her telling me how to live my life go away gwennie.

    That last picture is strange – is that her?

  10. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I don’t know, I thought Gwyneth was being realistic about marriage. I mean basically all she said is what I hear all the time from married people. That there are good times and there are bad times…and my least favorite part of marriage that I hear alot…is that it is work.

    LOL Gwyn does love to name drop, wouldn’t be interview with Gwyneth if you didn’t get a few celeb name drops.

  11. Cherry says:

    @ladybert62: I was just thinking about that, too… She looks strange on these photos, doesn’t she? Especially the cover shot, but that may just be bad photoshop. But does she look… different to anyone else? Like, facelift-different?

  12. Nah, nah & nah... says:

    Country Strong Spoilers
    1.) Bruce & Blythe seem to have gone thru their junk during their many years together so she knows first-hand about the bad times in a marriage. That doesn’t necessarily mean the marriage itself is bad or unsalvagable. People who don’t understand that usually either have bad marriages, former marriages or no marriage at all.
    2.) While not an official “fan,” I am Goop-appreciative. I’m a situational supporter of hers and have been turned off as often as I’ve been impressed by her. She’s the perpetual, wanna be down and deep at the same time, prep school daughter of pseudo-celebrities who felt the best way to get over that status was to be a bigger celebrity who hangs with bigger, more-relevant celebrities. Not quite sure if its gonna work or not.
    3.) What is it about her dying in these movies? I watched “Country Strong” (finally) yesterday and the death of her character (kinda) saved it for me. Until she died, the character was just insufferable, whiny and weak. After, I could muster up some sympathy for her AND the slimy character played by the McGraw dude (LUV him btw).

  13. mags says:

    yeah she’s up her own arse and all…but damn girl looks like she hasn’t aged since “shakespeare in love”! she’s gorgeous. ok now i need to go bathe in canned cheez to get the Goopy smell off me

  14. nemera says:

    I never have understood why she is at most of his concerts, especially when they got together.. and his audience didn’t conjure some “lame famous couple” picture then. So her comments seem to suggest that he is the one that is saying no to going to her events and walking the carpet.

    I don’t like or think it is fair when some celebrities go on and on about how above they are in the whole walking carpets together. What is wrong with supporting your partner. Being there for them. I see tons of couples on the carpet together. I don’t think their relationships are any “less” for it.

    For someone that loves to spout off about how private her marriage is she talks about it a great deal.

    I don’t read all her interviews, but more and more she seems to be putting the bone out there that they are not that OK. From reading her comments it seems to bother her on some level.

    and I will add a lot of those couples so above being seen together are not together anymore. hmmm

  15. Melissa says:

    Sorry to be all Gwyneth like, but it’s Jane Austen, not Austin. *runs away

  16. Bubbling says:

    At this point I just feel bad for her. Obsessive, frigid, try hard, desperate

  17. curleque says:

    She would not talk about the prospect of divorce in public if she has not seriously considered it.

    On the reason why she and her husband do not go out together in public: Chris sounds like a bigger douche than Scott Disick, because he is taking himself WAY too seriously. GET OVER YOURSELF! Go out and show support for your wife. Her response “I get it” is the very fist time I’ve felt bad for Goop. And I don’t think Chris has checked out, because he was never checked in!

    EDIT: Emma is one of my favorite books, and movies, despite Goop in it. Maybe because it’s before she got all Goopy on us? Maybe because the role was not much of a stretch for her? Maybe I am just a sucker for period films.

  18. It is ME!! says:

    I highly doubt people come up to her on the street. Her highness must not touch any of the peasants!!

    Queen Elizabeth II is more interactive with people than GOOP.

  19. Rose says:

    Yep, that marriage is o.v.e.r. Although, i remember SJP saying the same thing in a Jonathan Ross interview over here, that whole ‘i’m so glad he’s the father of my children’. Then that affair with a 25 year old popped up and then they had 2 more kids, so you never know.
    I always thought Chris Martin was punching well above his weight with her but with all these nearly naked photoshoots she’s been doing and how desperate she seems it’s like her confidence is through the floor (even though she’s insufferable).

  20. Delta Juliet says:

    I don’t get her. She’s not the best actress, the best singer, or any more attractive than any other starlet. Why is she so up her own ass? Seriously, what does she have that’s so “special?”

  21. KLO says:

    I liked this interview. And her and Beyonce really are friends. So why isn’t she supposed to be talking about it, again? If Bey is important in Goop’s life, well then she just is.
    Bey wants to get an Oscar and Gwynnie already has one. Gwynnie wants to be cool and Beyonce already is. I think it’s a perfect match.
    I think two successful women being supportive of each other is great.

  22. Rhiley says:

    There are so many yummies here but what I can’t get over is the line when she says about Chris, “He makes music for his fans, and he doesn’t want people to conjure a lame famous couple when they’re getting into his music. I get it.” She seems kind of passively bitter. I am no therapist but she seems to be hinting that if it were up to her she would like to be in a public relationship (like Brad and Angelina, perhaps) or maybe one that is public, and loving, but not over the top (like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson). I bet though she probably wants to be married to somebody who is like her dad, and Chris Martin probably ain’t it. I can see him telling her, “Look, my music is really important and unique and it is for my fans. I don’t want our relationship to over shadow my music.” In some regards, I guess that is good for Chris, because he can keep his identity seperate from his wife, but I were Goopy Poo, I would be incredibly sad. Part of being in a union with another person is that your identity grows to include that other person, and I just don’t see it with Goopster and Chris.

  23. Katie says:

    Beyonce is obviously a good friend in that she is super supportive, b/c Beyonce can actually sing and has a gifted voice, whereas Paltrow has a better than average but not much better voice and the ability to hold a tune. I wonder if Beyonce thinks of Paltrow as her older, sort of desperate friend that she does care about but secretly thinks is pathetic.

  24. curleque says:

    Oh, and doesn’t “keeping yourself on your toes” about marriage sound like a watered-down version of “walking on eggshells”?

    I foresee a new JLo/Goop collaboration on divorce commiseration. Ohmygod: What if Goop gets divorced and become this relationship and divorce expert?! I don’t have the strength for it.

  25. KO says:

    did she seriously compare Handler to Stern? Does she even LISTEN to Stern? If she did, she’d know they’re not on the same level at all. He’s actually grown, matured, and leveled out – Handler is just … none of those. STFU, Goop.

  26. nina says:

    dude, chris martin sounds worse than Gwenyth. I’m sorry, but he’s in “coldplay”, which is so 1999. He flaunted his relationship with Gwenyth before when he was at the HEIGHT of his career, he’d dedicate songs to her during concerts, talk about how gorgeous she was.

    Now he wants to act demure, even though his band is hardly hot anymore? No one cares about Coldplay or Chris Martin anymore, so this is all bs. He just acts like he can’t stand her.

    I’m no Gwennie fan, but I think she’s been acting pretty desperate houswifey lately trying to get his attention and he just keeps ignoring her.

  27. Atticus says:

    It’s the little things that add up to make her annoying “if I were starring in three movies”…most would say “if I were doing three movies”. Not a biggie but enough to sound snooty, to me anyway. But I get what she’s saying about marriage. I think she and Chris Martin have the real deal. She’s being pretty open about how difficult it can be. I applaud her for not painting it with the same rosy brush that Gisele paints childbirth with. “It’s so easy!”

  28. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Gwyn is the epitome of ‘lollipop’ – the over sized head on the tiny stick body.

    I feel sorta bad for her. From personal experience, if your man is into you he’s happy to show you off, and nothing is lonelier than being in a bad marriage. Chris is a dick if he doesn’t want to ever acknowledge his own wife.

  29. lrm says:

    i don’t know why she name drops….she does not have to-she is GP…she had movie offers, was successfu in a few fims [‘ ‘ key not wrking today-it comes after ‘k’…]
    anyway, name dropping so weird for her, i have thought….
    i prefer her in movies.
    the marriage thing was code speak, to me. odd, too.

    fina thought: she is gorgeous, for sure. hope she stops the tanning and tweaking; she does not need it.

  30. original kate says:

    mrs. elton – that is spot-on! but it’s jane austen, not austin. ok, 3 things that jumped out at me in this interview:

    1. name-dropping as always. beyonce (who “schleps” apparently) and jay-z and panjabi mc.

    2. she assumes that people who make fun of her don’t exercise, like we’re all just a bunch of blobs who sit and watch oprah all day or whatever. because people who don’t like her are peasants.

    3. evidently it’s chris who doesn’t want to be seen together. hmmmm….

    shut up, mrs. elton.

  31. tula says:

    Chris Martin seems like a major tool. Gwenyth seems like a bitch, but bitches are more tolerable than tools. I remember laineygossip reporting on him coming to her promotional cookbook event but refusing to be photographed, like running away with a jacket on his head. AT THE PROMOTION, which the whole point of going is to be seen and supportive. Seems like a totally pretentious ahole. Like stay the eff away from her promotions if you are going to make it about yourself is what I”m thinking. Give her the same courtesy you expect from her to hide in the car in the parking lot while you are making music for your fans at least. Geesh.

  32. Thea says:

    She is about as tiresome as Lindsay, but Lindsay makes me laugh. This makes me want to drag her to Walmart and shove her into a rack of 100% cotton clothing and force Danskin shoes on her disgusting feet. She knows her marriage is done. She needs to get on the divorce train and call it a day. If she works this right, she can right a book of advice on Divorce, have a book tour, write a few country songs, maybe even do a break up duet with Chris.

  33. Runs with Scissors says:

    Her personality aside, just objectively, there’s nothing wrong with her looks, but I just find her supremely unattractive. Almost asexual. Anyone know why?

  34. Lena says:

    i think she’ll jump on the I am an independent woman now, hear me roar bandwagon pronto if she sees JLo’s image being polished by it, and she’ll come out way better if she keeps it to the high road unlike JLo letting “sources” tear down MarcAnthony in US magazine, which she probably will. Then again, JLo has said the same thing in interviews several years ago: marriage is hard,its not all roses and nobody caught it.

  35. zesty says:

    Her relationship sounds sad. And exhausting. The funny thing is, she’d probably just say we’re sitting on our sofas criticizing instead of making our own marriages as good as hers. Nope, Gwyneth. My husband doesn’t make our relationship revolve around how others might perceive us. I just feel sorry for you.

  36. LadyJane says:

    She is the queen of the humblebrag.

  37. jover says:

    Agree with everyone above – she thinks hanging with jz and an overrated commercial pop tart beyonce is cool? No, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Led Zep, Marvin, SLy and the Family Stone,etc were cool (arguably they are no cool people anymore; they are all just shilling products for dollars) – these people are just insufferable overexposed egotists occasionally making mediocre music – do american fashion/lifestyle mags have to continually recycle the same 10-20 tiresome celebutards – its really getting boring, and does it really help their subscription sales? Love your comment ladyjane and that she’s going to make more appearances on glee this upcoming season is one good reason not to watch that lame karoake dreck anymore.

  38. velourazure says:

    she is the very definition of smug so i find it impossible that she could not be smug about her marriage. maybe that’s why her husband hates her.

  39. tar says:

    She’s the smuggest smugmiester of smugville … and she is not smug about her marriage? Please. File this under STFU

  40. Gwen says:

    She really is a live version of Mrs. Elton 😀 (I have to add that it was Jane Austen, not Austin. Sorry!)

  41. bogie says:

    Sounds like she is realistic. I like Gwen. I would read the comments, but it is just a bunch of hating nellys

  42. Justaposter says:

    Bogie I agree.

    I get what she is saying about marriage. It isn’t all rosy all the time and there are most def ups and downs. And it is hard work to have a good marraige.

    What I get from her marraige bit is, once you start taking your marriage for granted then you stop making your partner important, and it is a slippery slope into WTH happened marriage.

    Lets face it, on the gossip blogs she can’t win for loosing..and I like how she just says F*CK IT and lives her life.

  43. Denver Danni says:

    “But you can be laissez-faire, pretentious and cold.”

  44. mia girl says:

    “She’s the smuggest smugmiester of smugville”

    That is hilarious! I hope you don’t mind but I will use this to describe Paltrow from now on! Oh, and I would also like to borrow your phrase to describe this insufferably smug woman in my life that my friends and I are always rolling our eyes at.

  45. Penguen says:

    I don’t really feel strongly about Goopy either way.

    I will say that as a formerly divorced and newly remarried person, I am constantly aware of how I don’t want to take my marriage or my husband for granted and I don’t want to relax TOO much in it. Keeping a marriage healthy requires work, and I try to keep that in the back of my head so we don’t get lazy and screw things up.

    So I can kind of see why Goop might say that sort of thing. I think once you’ve dealt with serious marriage issues it’s easy to be overly vigilant about things. The rest of it – I don’t have much in response.

  46. Kara Ann says:

    I found her comments about marriage being “not all rosy” very realistic. I don’t think that she is smug about her marriage at all….but she’d really love to be able to be! Chris Martin and life won’t cooperate with her on the smug married thing.
    She can exercise herself to death alone, she can write books alone, and she can write blogs alone but the thing is, she’s so far up her own butt that I’m not suprised that her husband is leaving her to it. Can you imagine what Gwennie’s expectations were originally for her husband and marriage? She probably couldn’t be satisfied and he just checked out. Can’t blame him. It’s a dick way to treat your wife though and he should just get out and save his own dignity.

  47. Denise says:

    She and Martin are heading for a divorce and she is gently laying the ground work; she says nothing here that indicates that she is happy or proud or her marriage. It reads like she is an innocent bystander and Martin merely tolerates her. Goop! There it is.

  48. Mae East says:

    @ Kara Ann (47): Agreed! Coming from anyone else, these comments about the ups and downs of marriage would seem absolutely reasonable and–in my experience at least–very true. But for Gwyneth to publicly entertain the possibility of a split and speak of sharing custody of the kids…things must be really far gone. Like they’re already separated or something. I think she’s too smug to be reasonable and pragmatic otherwise.

  49. Thea says:


  50. LittleDeadGirl says:

    I would admire her for saying marriage is hard if she ever said anything NICE about her husband or marriage. I don’t mean about him being a great father, that is seperate from being a great husband … she seems SO unhappy in her marriage. I’ve never heard her tell some goofy but cute story or say anything about him that didn’t sound rehearsed or forced. It might be a happy marriage but from the outside it looks like she is forcing herself to stay day in and day out for the retirement plan. Hint: Marriage may be hard but it shouldn’t be a second job you have to gear up for …

  51. Nymeria says:

    @ rachel (#45) – You said: “i never thought she was ever pretty, just skinny with a shank ugly face; the embodiment of all things ugly and white”

    I find your comment incredibly racist. What if this thread were about somebody black, and your comment read, “i never thought she was ever pretty, just skinny with a shank ugly face; the embodiment of all things ugly and black”?

    Either way, not cool. Not cool at all.

  52. LadyJane says:

    I don’t get the whole marriage takes work thing. I am sure I am going to sound like a smug bitch but my husband is my favourite thing. I want to be with him all the time. He is the funnest, sexiest, most kind person I know. All I want to do is be with him, argue with him, make love with him, etc etc. I know, ‘barf barf’. But if you are in love – being with the person you love is easy. Even when you are arguing over the boiler or whatever.

  53. Sloane Wyatt says:

    @LadyJane: In marriage, the work comes in when hard times happen like a catastrophic illness, death, losing your job, and having to forgive each other over and over through the years.

    It’s work that I gladly do.

  54. the original bellaluna says:

    I cannot believe I’m saying this but: what if she’s using the smug as a defence mechanism about her insecurities about her life?

    Her marriage doesn’t sound like it’s “all roses” but no one’s is. A healthy marriage DOES take work. You’re combining (key word here, kids) 2 completely different, wholey-formed individuals into a partnership. (At least, you should be. If you’re not, don’t get married.)

    That being said, she does chafe like sand in a bikini bottom almost every time she opens her mouth.

  55. Ari says:


  56. Delta Juliet says:

    I have to agree with Lady Jane. As much as I hate to, and I only say that because I am jealous! 😉 That is how it should be (although I doubt that is the norm)

    I agree with those who say her marriage is a difficult one and is probably on the rocks, because I have BEEN THERE (still am) and I could totally hear myself saying those things.

    Ugh. Does that make me like GOOPy?

  57. Jaana says:

    Gwyneth and Beyonce’… both insecure bitches…

  58. Sucker for the Corps says:

    Ive always told my husband that if hes not interested in getting into the ring with me and fighting for the marriage theres nothing left to fight for. Theres nothing wrong with divorcing if your partner is no longer invested. Hopefully Gwyneth can fix whats wrong and they can be happy again.

  59. nemera says:

    Maybe the “work” is because they seem from the outside..and that is all I know or anyone else; to be living separate lives. She vacations alone with the kids. I have to be honest I don’t follow her that much, but I don’t recall many pics of them together in a long while.

    I think when people are apart so much it does take work. But working on your marriage should not be killing yourself to make it work. I agree with one poster that said it shouldn’t be that hard. Yes problems and such happen, that is life, but if you have to work that hard at something then maybe it is broken.

    She has a husband in the musical field. Yet her interview is all about what Beyonce says or Jay. I haven’t read all of her interviews, but has she ever talked of Chris’ opinion of her singing. Or of him encouraging her to go for it. Where is he in all these new things.

  60. the other mel says:

    A divorce is imminent if she’s saying those things for publication.

    @LadyJane — I wish I was in your shoes, you sound totally in love. We should all be so lucky.

  61. Susan O. says:

    Who wants that kind of marriage!? Me, I only want a marriage I can be “relaxed” about. And that’s what I have. Is the other kind even a marriage!?

  62. You don't say says:

    I only know her from blogs etc. She does like talking about who she knows alot. I remember that book party she threw and Mr. Martin left early.

    During her publicity for that country music movie, she never mentioned her spouse, but brought up Brad Pitt frequently. Martin had said he was jealous of Pitt, and stormed out of an interview once when his name was brought up, so maybe this was her way of rubbing it in. Then she brought up his mother not her mother or mother-in-law (if she is living, I don’t know), which was very odd, but still Pitt.

    Relationships are hard, but to only talk about the negative parts and how hard it is, is a bit strange. It is hard when you never seem to be in the same room and that odd tweet about her husband’s new music, also is a bit of a clue to the strangeness in their relationship. All may be just fine, but it just looks shaky without details that make it look otherwise.

  63. the other mel says:

    Oh LadyJane, I just saw your earlier comment ‘She is the queen of the humblebrag.’ Absolute perfection.

  64. sassy says:

    this is what I think about marriage:
    It’s not always easy, but it ain’t supposed to be SO HARD! If you truly have to work HARD at it, then you shouldn’t be married to that guy in the first place. I’ve been married 10 years (all in a row, to the same guy!), and we had some hard times here and there, but there’s no one else I want to go through tough shit with.

  65. Jen34 says:

    I think her marriage to Chris is not what she’d like it to be. She’d love to have an accomodating husband who complements her lifestyle. They’ve probably outgrown each other like a lot of couples do. Oh, well. At least she thinks Chris is a good dad.

  66. pwal says:

    I’m sorry, but it seems like she’s going through a mid-life crisis, which isn’t to say that her marriage isn’t in trouble. She seems to be trying anything and everything in order to seem more interesting to herself, IMO.

  67. Melancholy says:

    Also check this bit from the Superficial:

    “She just happens to know a lot about finding organic wine in France. And vagina waxes:
    “When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some… restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris? People know that I know that…”

    Oh, I just want to punch myself unconscious.

  68. Melancholy says:

    Her frogmouth offends me.

    heheh Oops, I am “sitting here not exercising and criticizing other people”!

  69. Denise says:

    Seriously, GOOP, I have to admit that I do enjoy reading about and critiquing you, because you do provide so many jewels like organic wine and bikini waxes and likening Martin to Picasso.

  70. irishserra says:

    I’m not a fan of Gwyneth, but I view her more like the villain in a story whom I begin to understand as the story goes along, and as I see more of her flaws, I feel very sorry for her.

    I never realized just how insecure Gwyneth was until the past couple of years. She does name-drop a lot, and she seems to go through friends like a baby through diapers. Has she no genuine friends she can rely on to wisely advise her and allow her to vent? This is just so sad.

    She just seems so lonely and starved for affection (from her husband, perhaps?) and I feel like she is setting us up for a real bad public divorce. I also sometimes feel that she is so aware that she somehow alienated everyone, including the American public, that she is working overtime to rectify it in her own way, by her recent odd alliances and choices in work, but sadly, it seems to only create more fodder for the tabs.

    I do admire her ethic though and her willingness to keep working on her marriage. I know from experience that marriage is really hard work and I’ve even had occasions over the years where I felt like giving up, but am so glad I didn’t.

  71. Kaiser says:

    Sorry about the Jane “Austen” mixup, peeps! You should know by now that I’m a horrible speller.

  72. dj says:

    I think she must feel empty. She is trying to “fill herself” up with singing, acting, Goop newsletter, playing guitar, exercising… all in an almost frenetic manner. Those things are not going to replace yourself or a loving relationship (of course, her kids). Also, did anyone else pickup on her comment about how she was (paraphrasing) positively effecting all of us peasants by wearing a bikini? We can do it because Gwyn has all we need to do is ask her how!

  73. garvels says:

    Ha Ha Ha…..Dame Gwyneth really is a Mrs. Elton!

  74. firefly says:

    Kaiser.. i agree, that is a sad commentary.

    BUT, as far as generalities go, its the PEASANTS that stay in a bad marriage/stand by their man. The modern, classy ones address it, get the divorce and get themselves a better life!

  75. Jilly Bean says:

    DO NOT COMPARE THE KING OF ALL MEDIA TO CHELSEA HANDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  76. Amy says:

    Ugh….I am just so sick of her. She is a snotty bitch, who has the personality of a wet mop.

  77. Alix says:

    Kaiser, the Mrs. Elton comparison is a stroke of GENIUS! That’s exactly who she is!

    “People come up to me and say, ‘I want to have two kids and wear a bathing suit and not feel terrible about myself. I see how hard you work and it makes me feel like I can do that too.’” Oh please. In what universe does this ever happen?

  78. Melancholy says:

    She says Chris is like Picasso, but that’s only because he has both eyes on the same side of his face.

  79. khaveman says:

    First things first, Chris bloody Martin could man up and realize he is with a famous woman and stop being a coward about her fame. Get. over. it. Also, she is doing great and confident, and we all like tearing someone down when they are cool and confident. Finally, Goop doesn’t annoy me because I don’t READ it folks. I choose to ignore that cra- and focus on her as an actor and singer. She has talent.

  80. Ally says:

    Oh, I LOVE you for the Mrs. Elton comparison!!! Relevant (Fishsticks should know better, she was in the Emma movie), erudite, and on-the-(stuck up)nose!

    Celebitchy… living up to its smart escapism tagline.

  81. LadyJane says:

    I missed the part about the organic wine. She is the epitome of organic whine.

  82. Eve says:

    I know she’s a pretentious bitch but her “I’m so better than all of you peasants!” shtick is so involuntarily funny that I giggle every time I read excerpts from her interviews — instead of being mad at her.

  83. Granger says:

    It actually makes me angry that someone like Gwyneth Paltrow has the nerve to constantly perpetuate the myth that women’s bodies need to be perfect in order for their lives to be perfect. There are already too many women in the world who pin too much of their self-esteem on how they look in a bathing suit; why does Gwyneth have to talk about that fact in virtually every interview? Doesn’t she have anything better to focus on? I mean, I exercise and I like to take care of myself, but my happiness doesn’t depend on how much cellulite I have on my thighs, or whether or not I have “bat wings.” I’m just happy I’m not in a wheelchair, and that I can chase my kids around at the park or play with them in the sand. Gwyneth needs to get a grip and get some perspective.

  84. Anguishedcorn says:

    I just have to say “Queen of the Humblebrag” pretty much made my day. Thanks, LadyJane.

  85. Dani says:

    Maybe it’s the 7 year itch.

  86. Annaloo says:

    Too late Gwyn– you and your hubby ARE a lame celebrity couple. One of the lamest.