Kim Kardashian’s wedding special to last four mind-numbing hours

In case you thought the media and public have reached Kim Kardashian saturation by now, you ain’t seen nothing yet. E!’s Kim & Kris wedding special will last four freaking hours. I usually fast forward through YouTube clips that are longer than three minutes. What the hell is E! thinking? I know, advertisers, product placement and milking this thing for all it’s worth. Kim and Kris’ wedding spectacular will be shown on E! in two two hour long specials on October 9th and 10th. The wedding itself will take place on August 20th, which means seven weeks of tabloid bullsh*t and buildup that I am in no way looking forward to.

In other nonstop, banal, cringe-inducing, bile bringing, mind-numbing Kardashian news, Kim will be one of the first models for a new 3D magazine! Because we all want to see that storebought T&A popping right out at us. I can see Kim crying and complaining about the photos afterwards as some follow-up plot for her reality show.

Also, OK! Magazine features exclusive coverage this week of Kim Kardashian’s bridal shower! The one you never anticipated or cared was happening! They have 30 photos of the party, which include some of Lindsay Lohan looking cracked out of her gourd. I subscribe to OK! on Zinio, a digital magazine website, but Zinio is down at the moment and I can’t get my magazines. What a shame. Radar has some photos here, and you can read the details on their website and on OK!’s website. Kris showed up and I tried to google whether it was customary for the groom to come to the bridal shower and whether that meant bad luck for the couple or anything. I guess it may not matter, and that filming your wedding and relationship for television is way worse for your relationship than violating a superstition.

How jacked does Kim’s face look?





Kim is shown on 7/29/11 trying out wedding cakes and on 7/30 outside Mel B’s baby shower. Credit: WENN and Fame. OK! cover via Earsucker.

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52 Responses to “Kim Kardashian’s wedding special to last four mind-numbing hours”

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  1. hstl1 says:

    I bet that is 3 hours longer than her marriage lasts.

  2. Roma says:

    Has anyone seen the South Park episode where Butters’ book gets the whole Kardashian family killed?

    Not that I would actually wish someone to be dead but man, it was nice to enjoy the thought for a moment or two.

  3. brin says:

    I’d rather have a root canal than watch this.

  4. BeckyR says:

    I will be sure to tune in. NOT.

  5. Lindy says:

    I know others have commented on this in other Kim K. posts, but look at that picture of Kim and her fiance–it looks like bad CGI because they are so out of proportion to each other! Almost like Kim was badly photoshopped into a pic of Kris H. So weird to think of them bumping uglies. In fact, let’s not.

  6. CallieTrichid says:

    I anticipate the hopefully true stories of Kris Humphries trying to pull a Charlene Wittstock after realizing what he’s signed himself up for.

  7. Cherry says:

    Boring. Let’s ignore this. Can we talk about BRAD AND ANGIE’S 26 HOUR FIGHT instead?

    @CallieTrichid ‘pulling a Charlene Wittstock’ hahaha

  8. nemera says:

    I just wondering.. is the interest because usually when there celebrities (can’t find a better word) who get married there is never the behind the scenes look. Usually pictures come after the wedding. So that being the case She is willing to open her life (ok I know) and let everyone see the whole thing.

    I think people like to see these kinds of things. I DON’T. But I bet the ratings will be high.

  9. brin says:

    @Roma….yes, hilarious!
    @Callie Trichid….lol, run Kris!

  10. Laura says:

    Nothing says sanctity of marriage like this publicity stunt. If Kim Kardashian is allowed to get married, gay people should too.

  11. Cherry says:

    @Laura: very good point!

  12. s says:

    Only in America is when a woman has sex on tape, leaks it and becomes famous, and people actually give a damn

  13. HappyMom says:

    Ugh-why are these people “celebrities”???

  14. serena says:

    Linnocent? I thought Kim was smart at least regarding business. But she is not, inviting Linnocent..who would do that?

  15. fabchick says:

    4 hours to watch her stupid ass bitch,whine , cry and complain. No thanks.

  16. Tierra says:

    Sounds like the wedding coverage will last longer than the marriage itself.
    I really dont think this is going to get the ratings they’re hoping for.
    I dont think ppl really give a crap since its common knowledge that this is nothing more than a publicity stunt to increase ratings. May be different if anyone actually thought it was about love but it clearly isnt.
    I never watched any of the Kardashian shows and plan to keep it that way.

  17. Jules says:

    Jeez, how tall is she? 4 feet?

  18. tia says:

    so this person can have sex with numerous ugly people, get pissed on, and be in and out of love depending upon which tv show will benefit, but two loving, healthy adult gay people who have kids and want to protect the family they love can’t??????????????????… shameful!!! seriously pathetic and disgusting!

  19. Sillyone says:

    You know who has something better to do on August 20th for those four hours??? ME! I think I will get my toe nails pulled out with pliers, yep that sounds better.

  20. Lisa says:

    This h0e really thinks she’s royalty doesn’t she. I for one will not be watching this crap.

  21. kelbear says:

    Why in the heck is Kendall wearing a dress with a way too low cut top in those radar pics? SO inappropriate!

  22. LynnE says:

    Kris Jenner is milking this dry and then moving on to pimp out her young daughters.

  23. hellena says:

    I just CAN’T get over the fact that they are selling those people as “stylists”. How the hell…? I…I…I’m just lost here.

  24. tapioca says:

    @Lindy: In the same way that you don’t always notice a small child by your feet when your swinging your basket around at the supermarket, maybe he’s far enough away from her to be able to tune her out and just concentrate on the E! cheque Kris K will be cutting him for his part in this f**kery!

  25. NancyMan says:

    Oh what a shame!, I’m supposed to clean out my septic tank that day.

  26. MJ says:

    tia – ITA! Completely backwards and revolting. The Kardashians are doing more to cheapen North American morals than LGBT people who want to be in a committed relationship!

  27. meg says:

    LOL she looks just like her mom in the pic outside the shop

  28. Truthful says:

    This won’t get the ratings they think it will, their show this season hasn’t either.

    Reggie dodged a huge bullet, smdh. that’s who she really wanted–LOL..KEEP running Reggie.
    she bragged about Reggie wanting to marry her for so many year, and he never did..

    she is saving face, but no one cares anymore.

    they’ve already done the whole “overkill” thing now, folks are not interested…by now, everyone knows they are fake.

    you notice that you never hear about how much they love each other, even when they were first engaged.

    no thanks, I will not be watching.
    I don’t feel the love, I hear the cash register. TURNOFF!

  29. bluhare says:

    Hell, she’ll have divorced him before the special and will be hosting it in widow’s weeds.

    I hope this guy’s getting a ton of money for this; if he isn’t, he’s stupid.

    And she’s been married before.

  30. Kelly says:

    @hstl1, @CallieTrichid, LMAO!!!

    Why in God’s name is this being televised? Who the hell does she think she is – Kate Middleton? Is anyone going to watch this shite???

    I can’t wait for the next 4-hour special – “A Fairytale Kardashian Divorce.” Complete with divorcee-ette party.

  31. ladybert62 says:

    In my opinion, this wedding is totally for Kardashian advertising, exposure etc and has nothing to do with love. The coverage of the buildup to the wedding seems nonending.

    I expect one of the two will file for divorce within a week of the wedding and then we will have a year filled with the death throes of a marriage of he said/she said/they said.

    This entire wedding is reality television in its most gruesome form.

  32. CooCooCatchoo says:

    She’s settling, I can just feel it in my bones. Look at the body language in the pictures of them together. She’s either walking way ahead of him, or she’s trying to pry herself out of his big mitts. It’s all about her, and he’s just along for the ride.

    My husband and I were just excited to start our lives together. We were planning a traditional wedding but decided we couldnt wait. So he bought a suit, I bought a dress and we eloped. I would have married him in my jeans 🙂 7 years later, still crazy in love with fond memories of our romantic, intimate ceremony. The WEDDING wasn’t important – being together was.

    I hope Kim and her fiancé are mature enough to see past the princess wedding and INSTEAD concentrate on the reality of marriage. Once the gifts are unwrapped and the dress is hung up, it’s just gonna be the two of them. If they aren’t koo koo in love and really devoted to each other, they’re doomed.

  33. the original bellaluna says:

    Well, lucky for us Lardassian Kartrashian fans are already numb in the brain. Is this designed to completely lobotomise them?

    Glad to read about the ratings not being as high this season – just goes to show their IS such a thing as “over-exposure!”

  34. John Wayne Lives says:

    good god, this is just too much.
    go away. please.

    *sigh* well, maybe they love eachother.
    that’s all i got.

  35. Firecracker says:

    Roma, I haven’t see that South Park episode, I’ll have to watch for it!

    Who would watch this crap? Obviously someone is. Right now there are episodes of Nick and Vanessa Dimillo’s wedding airing, or something like that. I just laugh when I see it’s on AGAIN.

  36. Debsa says:

    Okay, stop the madness…I these people go away after their fifteen minutes but
    let’s get it started, we all are ENABLERS!

  37. Kim says:

    CooCooCatchoo – well said. This is a sham marriage. She knows she is in her prime fame and age to get married and her clock is ticking. She was looking for ANYONE to marry her and Kris was first one to propose. She would have said yes to first guy who asked. This is not a marriage based on true love that will last. We all know that. Some people (Kardashian Klan) have no problem selling their souls for $. $ and fame are far more important to this family than true love.

    I personally dont get it. I tried to watch their show once and couldnt get past 2 minutes. They are ugly, whiny, unintelligent, phony, money grubbers who shop all day. Nothing interesting about them.

  38. mln76 says:

    Micheal K said it best

    Chant for a wish that on Kim’s wedding day, Brad Pitt and St. Angie get married next door, Tommy Girl and Stepford Katie announce their divorce in an interpretive dance on the front lawn and Tim Peeler finally catches Khloe with a net and drags her back to his backwoods cabin to domesticate with him in bliss (this is possible, Tim saw it on a TV show). Basically, just pray bitch gets outshone.

  39. Kamryn says:

    Four hours, who is going to waste four hours of personal time or energy watching this garbage??

  40. Lindy says:

    @tapioca–totally cracking up at the image of Kim as a small, irritating child. But I think Kris H has definitely made his devil’s bargain and is probably drooling over the check as we speak. Why, oh why, do I so want to see this train wreck? What is wrong with me?

  41. Madisyn says:

    @ Truthful

    Not only did Reggie dodge a bullet, I bet his mother is beyond relieved. She wasn’t too amused by the Kartrashian fame whoring ways, if I remember correctly.

  42. VeneficA Delirium says:

    This guy is such a sucker. Not only will this marriage be a complete sham and publicity stunt, but Kim Kardashian, regardless of being the town bicycle and parading about shamelessly half-naked with her ass hanging out, seems beyond needy. In my experience, the more oversexualized the woman in appearance, the needier she is. It’s quite pathetic. Guys all want to hook up with them, but the booty call isn’t even worth it. Sucks to be them.

    She also looks like sun-dried ass. Those cheek implants look like they’re about to pop, her eyes look pulled extremely far apart and taut against her face, and what’s with her lips? They look like Roger Ebert’s, which is fine for Roger Ebert because he had cancer. She looks like a predatory bird. By comparison to her lips and cheekbones her nose doesn’t even exist. Not only does she look older than my mom who is 42, but she looks about as old as HER mom.

  43. JaneWonderfalls says:

    Who in the world will watch a whore and a retard for 4 hours? Really 4 hours? Plus I think it’s funny how she only dates black guys but is marrying other…I guess she does not want any half black babies, just look at Khloe she’s not trying to have that black man’s baby.

  44. the original bellaluna says:

    @ mln76 – And let’s add to that: That Wills & Katie announce her royal pregnancy!

  45. Kelly says:

    Reggie dodging a bullet, LOL.

    @Jane (Sorry, I can’t read the rest of your screen name), I believe Kris is mixed-race. Your comment re: Khloe makes me a bit uncomfortable… She wouldn’t have married a black man if she was racist and trying to avoid having a mixed-race baby…

  46. Meadowlark says:

    A silver-lining to this disgrace: if I hear someone talking about how they are going to watch it or I found out they did, I know not to ever speak to that person again. Should really thin the herd.

  47. Juliette says:

    Is nothing sacred. Have a private wedding and release a photo. Too much information. Have some private moments and treasure them, don’t sell every minute of your life off

  48. firefly says:


  49. RuddyZooKeeper says:

    Not being nasty because I’m quite sure I still outweigh her by a few pounds, but since KK’s been working toward her “size 4,” does it look like she’s ballooned like two more sizes? What’s going on here?

  50. Ja says:

    The good thing is that no one is forced to watch this shit 🙂

  51. Theodore says:

    How to get some gift from car donation? Is it reall actually when I donate the car?

  52. Fred Hahne says:

    I have a feeling that Kat Face is on the same path that Michael Jackson went down. It’s unfortunate that she is such a role model to so many impressible kids who look upon her as their KIMMY.