The Kardashians’ ridiculous lingerie photoshoot for Sears: photoshopped to hell


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I’m really getting burnt out on the Kardashians. It’s like a constant barrage of inane news about these twits, all converging to push their latest crappy products in our weary faces. So I’m torn on whether to even report on them today, but part of me still yearns to mock them. Kaiser calls them “gossip junk food,” and that really captures the sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I read too much about them, but here goes.

First we have a photo shoot they did with Annie Leibovitz to promote their new clothing line with Sears. The resulting lingerie promo photo, above, looks pieced together and Photoshopped to hell. They look like plastic dolls, basically. It also looks like someone did something to Kim’s face to highlight it so she stands out from her sisters. There’s a video of the moments they captured the raw footage for some of this mess. (Also above.) My favorite part is when Khloe looks sexy-scared. Here’s a screenshot of that moment.

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Also, in the video Khloe looks like a total giant compared to her sisters. She towers over them and is about a head taller than Kim. Here’s a screenshot of that:

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The ad photo shows Khloe as only a smidgen taller than Kim though. Ridiculous.

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This is just what they do every day. They show up for stuff, try to act like they know fashion and styling, and put on their best sexy faces to sell stuff. Then some kid works some heavy-handed, very obvious Photoshop magic to try and make them look like “models.” It would be funny if it wasn’t so predictable.

In news about the Kardashians that’s easier to cover, Kim’s new husband-of-the-moment, Kris Humphries, had an awkward run-in with her sex tape partner, Ray J, in the first class cabin of a recent flight. Kris tried to act like he didn’t know who Ray J. was, but Ray J. called him out on it.

Also, yesterday I mentioned Kim’s really obnoxious cliche honeymoon photos in US Weekly. It gets better. There’s video, in which Kris plays grab-ass. The comparisons to her sex tape just write themselves.

Here’s Kim out yesterday in a hideous belted shirtdress in a jarring pattern that I wouldn’t even display as a hand towel. Kourtney looks slightly better in that full cobalt skirt and lace shirt, but check out her makeup!

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Photo credit: Fame

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98 Responses to “The Kardashians’ ridiculous lingerie photoshoot for Sears: photoshopped to hell”

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  1. fizXgirl314 says:

    eww… I don’t understand why females look up to these women. They’re always so hypersexualized with their greased up bodies and their fingers in their mouths and shit. What kind of woman does this appeal to? I don’t get it… if a guy was being sold something by a guy who was making sexy poses and putting his finger in his mouth, I think they’d be grossed out more than intrigued to buy the product. Why are these ads clearly geared toward males but selling women things? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT!!

  2. smh says:

    @Matt Annie Leibovitz has sucked ever since she got a hold on photoshop, seriously her work was so much better before. she should go back to her roots

  3. Firecracker says:

    Oh oh oh. I just watched the videos because I’m really bored at work. Why oh why did I do that? The honeymoon one was like a comedic parody of a Lifetime movie of the week of a couple on vacation.

  4. Snowbunny says:

    She’s worried about a sex tape but brings a camera crew on her honeymoon? Sears, really, a Kardashian fashion line? Did they pay Sears? The funniest part is the ‘get the look’ caption, I will pass.

  5. Chris says:

    Kim seriously outshines her sisters. They’re like a blight on “her” photos.

  6. kls says:

    I can’t wait for the day when they will all just go away. This will come to an end someday ! and I hope it will be soon!!! I can’t stand it anymore.

  7. Chris says:

    @56: Why? They’ll only be replaced with more of the same.

  8. Dhavy says:

    Does Sears also carry Paris Hilton’s line as well? that would explain it….

  9. palermo says:

    Sears is where you go to buy tools, not lingerie. Anything these girls would be hawking probably comes with a complimentary STD

  10. OfficialB*tch says:

    Yuck. I like Khloe’s supermodel height and Kourtney’s body and Kim’s face (pre-kat). That’s is all.

  11. rainstarr says:

    @Brin – “Bubble bubble toil and trouble. All that’s missing is the cauldron.”

    Perfect description! If you haven’t seen the movie Hocus Pocus, do and trade out the stars for these three, oh my!

  12. TG says:

    @Chris- I think Khourtney is the prettiest with the best body, but I agree withy you khloe is a blight their photos.

  13. Tristyn says:

    Sears you officially sux now!!!!! How could they bargain and make a deal w/ immoral trash …
    Hell I refuse to let my husband buy even his tool’s from this company any more….

  14. eternalcanadian says:

    It is stupidity like this and with Sears of all places that ensure women will never, ever be considered equal to men job or intelligence-wise. You’ll never see a set of brothers doing stupid things like them.

    I mean look at Bruce’s sons, if there’s anyone that should be sucking up the fame it’s them but they aren’t going around in skivvies posing like skanks for Sears. Why? Coz they smarter and they’re men! Lawds sake we just had that stupidity with JC Penney (another low-class store like Sears) with those stupid “I’m too pretty for homework” t-shirts.

    And we wonder why women continue to make less than 80 cents for every dollar than men make for equal job duties. Role models Exhibit A–the Kardashian bimbos and their even more bimbo mother. *scoffs*

    I’ll get off my feminism soapbox now. ;)

  15. Kosmos says:

    They will continue to have their agent set up marketing ads & campaigns for them and they will constantly be in our faces whether we want it or not. They will continue to amass a fortune for themselves by being media people, or by going on TV or reality shoes. This is how they are able to have $$ millions. What can we do? Don’t help to promote them, don’t buy their products, or show any interest in them, or write in and express your dislike for them. Do NOT watch shows they are on, so that ratings go down. They are shoved in our faces and I’m really over it. I seriously want this family to go away, but they’re making TONS of money by doing this, so they will continue on until the public just doesn’t buy it.

  16. Dani says:

    Maybe Khourtney looks different on her show, but judging by the pics here and other pics that I’ve seen of her, in no way is she the prettiest.

  17. Joe's Mom says:

    “. . .’gossip junk food,’ and that really captures the sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I read too much about them . . . “. A perfect definition of “The Kardashians”. (Although that should include “Also when I see pictures of them”.)

  18. Jennys(a male) says:

    Men!this is rubbish for someone to have her honeymoon taped.What!for money which she already have,i think she just wants to gain attention and be remembered for a long time.I know dat her fans will hate me for dis,she needs to be ignored.How many celebrities hav she seen airin their honeymoon.

  19. John Wayne Lives says:

    Am I the only one who thinks that somewhere there is a man Momma Kris knew very well and lookes like Khloe?
    Just sayin.

  20. smh says:

    uummm why is celebitchy constantly censoring comments when it comes to these kardassians? i never used a curse word, wished death on anybody or wrote a group hate comment. do they have a hold on the internet like they do on the guy from The Soup? lol

  21. lucy2 says:

    I never thought I’d read that Annie Leibovitz photographed Kardashians for Sears. Holy crap.
    That photo is hilariously bad, awkward, and creepy.

  22. VintageBum says:

    This makes me dislike Ryan Seacrest more and more everyday. lol I mean yes I will admit, I indulge in the evil corporate monster that is reality television, but I find it is getting more and more out of hand. Borderline disturbing actually. The Kardashian sisters really do take the cake though. I guess it really does go to show you that you can in fact stay “relevant” by whoring your face out to any sleezy product that might happen to offer a deal

  23. trh says:

    I will no longer go to Sears for tools, tires,or brakes. Or lingerie.

    Behold the decline of a once-great nation.

    Reminds me of the old saying… beauty is skin-deep and ugly goes all the way through. Exhibits A B &C. The prosecution rests.

  24. Ms.JAPrufrock says:

    One of the most entertaining post I’ve ever read and the comments are great!

  25. trh says:

    The differences between the giant and the two little sisters are marked. Bone structure, hair color,skin color,cheek bones,eyebrows, mouth, body type. I do respect her for being such a trooper and keeping her chin up when she is so outshined. However I do find her oddly photogenic.

  26. CanCan says:

    Looking at them makes me wanna gouge my eyes out and ask Why? What have we as a people done so wrong to deserve them?

  27. Paige says:

    lmao….everybit of this is hilarious. the comments are spot on!! love the line, ‘pattern so jarring, wouldn’t even display as a hand towel’ Love this, you people are right on and funny! Thank you!!

  28. Tazina says:

    Whatever. It won’t make me want to buy the awful clothes at Sears any more than I do now. What Sears should do is hire more qualified clothing buyers.

  29. AnnieC says:

    Talk about a menage a trois of losers!!

    Annie Lebowitz who’s in dire straits because of her f**ked-up finances and will photograph a cockroach if she’s paid.

    Sears, a store one associates with appliances and cheap tires now featuring cheesy couture. They’re one sale away from chapter 11.

    And the K’s — high-priced trailer park pigs who should be pushing penicillin, not crappy, slutty clothing!!

  30. NancyF says:

    This is not a PR/marketing/sales campaign — it’s a threesome of desperation.

    Kardashians/zero style pushing street walker ready-to-wear (and take off in a hurry!).

    Sears/whose clothing line consists of crap for all ages, especially 65+ (clothes to pee all over yourself in).

    Annie L./a former A-list photographer reduced to taking photos of nobodies (adding insult to injury – the photos were altered to the nth degree).

    This is a lose for Sears. Everyone else has been paid. A bad a desperate move for Sears. Go back to selling tires instead of promoting “tired” sluts!!

  31. constance says:

    I just watched that clip from the Kshow when Kris Hump found out Kim had been married before while talking about how being with black men was taboo. What a completely awkward moment. Kris Humpherass is seriously empty in the brain pan. I bet he didn’t know about Kim’s tape. He likely doesn’t know how to use Google. Sad, but Kris Jenner must be loving it. SHE nabbed a dump, rich-for-now one- for her daughter.

    I bet Papa Simpson is SOMADRIGHTNOW. lol

  32. neff says:

    Once upon a time, a verrrrrrrrrrrrry long time ago, Sears was a successful company where average/low income people bought all sorts of necessities. However, in the last 30+ years, it has faced many severe financial problems and is currently fighting off yet another bankruptcy. Sears has been advised to come up with new, creative, desperate, strategies if it hopes to survive.

    I believe that this explains why the Kharcreepian Klan, women with the fashion sense of circus Klowns, were able to get a deal to sell their Klothing via Sears. The millions who worship these talentless Kretins will probably buy tons of their dreadful Krap. I bet Sears would even sell Ray J’s bodily fluids if it could get a faux-authenticated supply. Kris needs to start negotiating this one ASAP.

  33. Robert says:

    Kris Humphries basketball career just went down the toilet. In no way will his career be helped by hiring that pimp momager. He’s a sports guy, just on the edge of a possibly decent career with the Nets — granted they’re the worst in the NBA. These K’s just steam-roll over anyone and everyone to get the $$.

    Oh, well, dumb is as dumb does!

  34. Renee et Louisa says:

    We cannot stop laughing at that ridiculous video of Me Tarzan – You Jane!! I hope to god The Soup will feature this pathetic video (they spent more time getting the water out of their eyes) as the Clip of the Week.

    And these are the people who claimed they wanted some alone time and privacy — priceless!!!

  35. Skinnybetch says:

    When the Kardashians did a “kollection” (eye roll) for Bebe I was shocked that bebe would even associate with their brand of nonsense and fuckery. However, Sears is definitely a better fit for them. It’s cheap, trashy, and tacky. A match made it heaven.

  36. atlantapug says:

    Kim’s head looks like it’s not attached to her body.

    I don’t find a single thing about these three to be interesting or attractive.

    They must look like hell with natural faces.

  37. Claire78 says:

    Always felt like Khloe was the result of an affair on Kris’s part. She is so different. It must sux all the comparsions – although Kim is rapidly losing her looks. To me Kourtney is the prettiest.

  38. sophie says:

    Sears will regret soon. It will happen like Bebe that dropped them in a few months. People magazine tried so hard to get sales on wedding issue but at the end they did not win as they expected.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/was-kim-kardashians-wedding-worth-229892.

  39. LindaE says:

    This is one amusing sight. The stories are too over-the-top to be true. Especially these chicks — they are a parody of themselves. The Onion couldn’t write a faux story to top these. It’s just too ridiculous for words…and their clothes or should I say costumes. They must be very popular during Halloween!

  40. carsy e. says:

    No fan of this irrelevant family am I, but ever since the news about their clothing line at Sears, I am
    irate! Does Sears know who they are and what they
    epitomize in society? Their behavior, whether real or fabricated for TV, is deplorable, and while I sus-
    pect that older & wiser people like myself ignore
    them, young girls worship at the altar of Kardashian
    Hasn’t Sears always positioned itself as a
    family dept. store? Now, our young girls will walk
    into that store and see those trashy posters of the K’s in their cheesy lingerie, looking like hookers–
    great for your image, Sears; don’t let the backlash
    shock you. I urge anyone who feels as strongly as
    I do, to contact Sears, (and QVC while you’re at it),
    and tell them they just lost your business.

  41. KoKo says:

    Um, I kinda like Kim style a lil.

  42. Kim says:

    Why are they featuring 3 men in a womens lingerie ad???

  43. Hanna says:

    There all photo shopped to death, nothing in these photo’s are real noting, most of there hair is exstention. SO tired of KKK, YUCK

  44. Gina G says:

    This is a horrible photo…I could careless about Khloe being shortened…why does kim look like a blowup toy with only one large leg that spans her entire body…lol

  45. Debby says:

    I bet the Mom set this whole thing up. Honestly, they are working the system, that is Hollywood for you! Make money whenever you can and sell your daughters to the highest bidder!

  46. EMINEM21314 says:

    ugly transgender deplorable and sick yuck

  47. ss says:

    To all the comments above……FREAKIN HILARIOUS! I am still laughing SO HARD…..

    Scarlet-Vixen….your comment was awesome! It TOTALLY looks like Khloe is letting a huge fart right on Kim! OMFG……SOOOOO FUNNY!

    So, what is even more funny is I am writing this when the news just broke that her marriage to K. Humphries is OVER….Sears is going in the TANK for promoting this trio of SKANKS!