Jason Biggs’ wife writes long essay on their quest to hire a hooker

wenn3467982
American Pie star Jason Biggs’ wife of three and a half years, actress Jenny Mollen, 32, has written a long essay for Playboy site The Smoking Jacket detailing her quest to hire a hooker for her and her husband. Spoiler alert, it ended with an unsatisfying beej from the third person they tried and ended up costing over a thousand bucks in total. Supposedly it rekindled their sex life though. I’ll excerpt a little below that won’t make the ads disappear hopefully. You can read more, and more explicit details at The Smoking Jacket.

Note that this whole series of events happened two and a half years ago, since Jason and Jenny have been married since April, 2008 and Jenny writes that they had been married just over a year at the time. The fact that they’re still together now is surprising to me, but to each their own.

“Do you want to go down on him a bit?” Keisha suggested. In my mind I was thinking, “No, dude, that’s why I paid you the six hundred dollars, to do the work for me! I’m going to be over here eating chips.” Of course, there was no way my husband was going to let me get away with that so I obliged.

The most exciting part of the day was Keisha complimenting me on my [beej] skills. I love approval of any kind. Sadly, however, I think it was pretty obvious that my husband and I were both bored. He quickly became flaccid and we were left with nothing to do but stare at each other.

“I kind of feel like you are a giant baby and we are putting a diaper on you,” I blurted out.

“Umm, that’s not what I wanted to hear, Jen.” my husband laughed…

On the plane ride home I texted Keisha and thanked her for her work. What ever it was she had done, worked. I was instantly more aroused by my husband. He seemed so mysterious to me. Even though the actual act was relatively boring and a financial bust, the reliving of it grew hotter and hotter in my mind. “What a sweet whore,” I said to my husband, staring down at the flickering lights of good ole Sin City. He laughed and grabbed my leg. Something was rekindled between us. Or perhaps something blossomed that was never there before. I don’t know which it was, but I felt closer.

[From The Smoking Jacket via WeSmirch]

I learned everything I know about prostitution from watching Cathouse on HBO. It usually costs a thousand bucks for an hour of a working lady’s time at that legal Nevada brothel. For that price you know what you’re getting, it’s safe and they get tested regularly. No judgment from me on anyone who wants to hire a sex worker, as long as both partners are ok with it and it’s someone who is of age, willing, and is not a victim of trafficking. (How can people even tell, though?) Still, it takes some serious balls to write about it like this, even if the writing wasn’t that interesting. This Jenny chick was really negative and mocking of the women she encountered, and I got the impression that’s she was totally over her marriage and this was a last ditch effort to switch things up. I could have been or this could have worked for them given that they’ve been together over two years since this happened.

Also, the commenters on The Smoking Jacket are mentioning how many times she used the word “wh*re” and how dismissive she was of the women in that business. In my opinion she did it both in an attempt to be funny and because she was feeling insecure about the whole process.

I won’t delve any further and will just end with my favorite comment. This kind of sums it all up for me:

It’s kinda like I want to have some reaction to this story – but then I remember this is the guy that stuck his dick into an apple pie and that’s why he’s famous. And this is the girl that married the guy who stuck his dick into an apple pie and that’s why she has some name recognition.
And when I think of it that way -
Where was Stiffler, Tara Reid, Eugene Leavy and that Coolidge Chick the whole time all this was going on ???
In the end it just all seems like another American Pie sequel.
Entertaining – but quickly forgettable.

From Evan Benz

As for what Jason thinks about this, he tweetedMy wife is in Playboy. Hot.” Deep thoughts.

wenn3259046

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

17 Responses to “Jason Biggs’ wife writes long essay on their quest to hire a hooker”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. HannahG says:

    This was in the Humour section by the way. And the last line kind of gives it away that it’s a joke.

    If you follow her on Twitter you would understand where this is coming from.

  2. i.want.shoes says:

    Sounds like a desperate (and really not funny) effort to get back into the spotlight, by using the only thing they ever were known for- sex.

    I would like to mention that sex workers get no judgement from me. However, people who hire sex workers get plenty of judgement from me. While sex workers may be of age, “willing”, and not victims of trafficking, sex workers are victims of poverty, deprived social conditions, poor social support, and resort to selling sexual favors as a way of surviving (and please don’t tell me sex workers do it because they enjoy it- nobody enjoys sucking on some old stranger’s peen, wondering when was the last time he washed, if he has diseases, or if he is going to kill you). People who pay for sex are profiting from their vulnerability. It only adds insult to injury if you are going to degrade them by calling them wh*res.

    And this Monday morning’s public message of social causes awareness is brought to you curtesy of I.Want.Shoes.

  3. Peachy says:

    This marriage is in Biggs trouble…

    but the chips sounded good.

  4. Iggles says:

    Wow. Is nothing sacred? I would be embarrassed if 1 year into my marriage we needed a third party to “spice” things up!

  5. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    Blah. What an unappealing story. I wish I hadn’t read it. Flaccid. I really hate that word. I think this story just illustrates that Jason Biggs is bad in bed, his wife was giving him a beej and he went flaccid? Maybe she sucks in bed too. They should have taken a couple’s sex class not hire a hooker. That was stupid.

  6. Roma says:

    I read the article on the weekend and using the word “whore” and “whorish” over and over again was both lame and lazy.

  7. Grasshopper says:

    Why did they have to pay someone for sex? He couldn’t pick up someone on his own? She doesn’t have any “close” single girl friends? She obviously finds “whores” trashy, since she used the word as much as possible. Why hire one?

  8. podzol says:

    I still can’t believe he got a 5 million $ paycheck to appear in the American pie sequel # 3233.

  9. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Just want to add that she came across as a douchy hipster who attempted to boost her own damaged sense of self worth by putting down the women she was “hiring.” Not only was her excessive use of “whore” offensive, but also the fact that she thought the woman should do whatever she wanted for $600. You don’t “own” that person, you’re paying them for a service. Also, just because this was written in the humor section doesn’t mean that it should be excused. Haven’t you heard the saying “in jest, truth.”

    @I.want.shoes, well said.

  10. amy says:

    i.want.shoes and Iggles-thank you! you said everything i wanted to more eloquently. and also Love Angelina-yes exactly sound like they need to go to couples class rather than try and fix their problems with what they’ve seen in adult movies!

  11. Tuppiv says:

    I tried to read this when Jason linked it on his twitter. I couldn’t even make it a quarter of the way through. She is a *horrible* writer who I think must have failed every English class she ever took. I also couldn’t get over the “LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!” tone of it.
    Girl needs to get to a writing class, stat. Or just never publish anything ever, e v e r again.

  12. Lady Lupton says:

    What odd people.

  13. lucy2 says:

    If this is for real, why on earth would they put it out there publicly? It doesn’t make either of them look good individually or together.

  14. danielle says:

    I tried to read it, but the writing was too awful, so didn’t get all the way thru. Thoughts…yeah, if you need to “spice things up” that drastically a year in, that’s a bad sign! Also, she sounded like an absolute moron.

  15. Alix says:

    Ewwwwwwwww.

  16. Jbonez says:

    This chick is funny on twitter, so I am sort of surprised her essay is so boring and poorly written. She is trying way too hard to be edgy and nerdy at the same time. I actually dated a guy who is friends with these twats and the lack of respect for people outside of their “elite” social circle is par for the course. I guess Ambien is a hell of a drug. Nice try Jenny! Go back to tweeting pics of your friend’s boobs and your ugly naked husband that disgusts you.

  17. Bec says:

    If you’ve ever seen him in interviews he’s truly adorable. But this is weird. Why would he divulge so much for the world? So, so weird. She creeps me out and he’s starting to now that I see that he’s with such a lame person. Btw- The word ‘flaccid’ is so unappealing.