Tilda Swinton appears in the November issue of British Vogue (the issue in which Rihanna dons a Marilyn Monroe wig) to discuss her upcoming movie, We Need to Talk About Kevin, that is directed by Lynne Ramsay and features a masterfully haunting combo performance by Tilda and the extremely creepy Ezra Miller, who plays her teenaged psychopathic son. Naturally, Tilda is rumored to already have a lock on all of the best actress awards; and because she’s Tilda, she’s already said quite a few words about how violent and bloody that the reality of motherhood can be and how she embraced the role of a less than perfect parent.
Before we leap into Tilda’s latest wisdom, let us — just for a moment — refresh our memories concerning a couple of sanctimonious statements from other Hollywood actresses on parenting. Jennifer Garner proclaimed that “[T]here’s no deeper want for a woman than to be a mother” while Gwyneth Paltrow announced that “[M]otherhood gives your life real meaning,” and then Michelle Williams added that parenting is “the ultimate creative act.” Well, Tilda believes that the act of mothering isn’t all fluffy and positive, and she drops a wondrous bomb — that every woman worries that “they’re going to give birth to the devil” — on some poor, likely-horrified journalist:
She plays a long-suffering mother of a disturbed teenager who commits a shocking and terrifying act of violence on his class mates. But Tilda Swinton has revealed that her latest film has got nothing to do with parenting at all. Swinton, 50, plays Eva Khatchadourian in the film adaptation of the critically-acclaimed novel We Need To Talk About Kevin about a mother who comes to terms with her mass-murderer son.
And she said the film really deals with the fear from any new expectant mother that they may give birth to a monster. Speaking to Vogue in an interview, she said: “It’s got about as much to do with bringing up children as Rosemary’s Baby is about being pregnant.
“It’s everybody’s nightmare that, when they’re pregnant, they’re going to give birth to the devil. That when they bring up children, especially a boy, they’re going to give birth to this violence. What I find most intriguing about Eva is not that she gives birth to and raises this misanthropic and alienated, sociopathic child and that its really foreign and outside of herself. The thing that’s really the nightmare is that she recognises it only too well, because its hers, The misanthropy is hers. That violence is hers.”
She said she understood Eva giving up her marriage and her friendships to find her authenticity and said: “It’s part of the deal of motherhood. I think everyone must suffer, I think that’s the whole point. That’s what life is. I don’t think that’s a secret or anything to get het up about. I think that’s how life is. It’s about growth and change, and it’s the bargain. Something goes, something comes. You always get something back.”
Tilda also spoke to the magazine about her own children and a mother’s instinct to “put on a performance” of being an interested caring parent, and added: “I think it is all too common. It’s really hard not to give a performance for your kids. I remember when my children were very little; there’s that crossroads in the day where you think, ‘What do I do now?’ And sometimes it’s really hard to come up with something authentic.”
[From Daily Mail]
Isn’t that just hysterical? I mean, the subject matter of the movie isn’t funny at all, but it’s hilarious that Tilda one-upped the generally positive celebrity (outward) opinions on motherhood with an equally outrageous negative statement. Yes, she is generalizing about all mothers, but I think she’s doing so hyperbolically and not in a holier-than-thou way like how Garner and Paltrow issued their opinions. Sort of like, “You’re all worried about having devil spawn! Take that, bitches!” It’s such a ridiculous notion, but I have to admit that I really did sort of worry about having the worst child in the world when I was pregnant with my daughter. So far, she hasn’t turned out that way, but I’m not holding my breath for the teenage years for sure.
Back to Tilda though — here’s the theatrical trailer for We Need to Talk About Kevin. Be forewarned that Ezra Miller really wants to feature in your nightmares tonight.
Photos courtesy of Vogue UK and Fame; movie stills courtesy of Digital Spy
I worry about that too. I am not a mother or anything but I look at my brother and he can be a major douche bag, he is a wanna be thug, not very bright and just sometimes plain rude. I mean he is one of those kids with that label…”problem child.” I don’t wanna give birth to that because even the best parents can give birth to just an absolute jerk or whatever. There is no manual on how to raise them, some obvious things to do and not do, of course, but they turn out how they turn out. Thats scary.
Got to love the Swinton.
I usually hate “actors,” but she brings a lot of insight and thoughtfulness to her work, and I really respect her as an artist.
Plus she’s a total pisser. She’s the Anti-Goop.
Nothing but love for SWINTON.
God, that kid Ezra Miller is GOOD! The Swinton, too, of course.
I so want to see this movie. I don’t have children and a hate when people try to convince me it’s this wonderful, blessed experience. I’m not sure I want to have kids but I have a little time to decide. I guess my biggest pet peeve is when people say, “You should have kids! It’s the best and you’ll be a great mom.”
She’s amazing, I love her. Great interviews, too.
I love her because she can make an honest statement like that and not worry about looking like the rest of us mere mortals. Stars like Paltrow & Garner try too hard to convince the world they lay golden eggs & fart rainbows with their “being a mother is just the best, only important thing in the world & I’m a mom!” crap.
dont like ezra miller in the trailer, but the little one in pampers really gives me the creeps…
I usually love Tilda, and naturally I prefer her to Goop and the other harpies, but I can honestly say that I have never for a second worried that any of my kids would turn out to be the devil. That’s not merely a sweeping generalization on her part, it’s just a stupid thing to say.
You know what’s different about Tilda’s comments?
She uses “I think,” as opposed to her speaking for all parents/mothers. She makes it clear that they are her opinions.
Loved the book. Can’t wait to see the movie.
Oh yes I forgot to mention something else. My mom had 6 kids. The first four from her first marriage and then me and my younger sister from her second marriage. 5 out of 6 of her kids are addicts or heavily abuse drugs/alcohol. I can’t speak much for how my significantly older siblings were raised but I can say me and my younger sister were raised together. I did not have major issues with drugs but my sister has. I look at the odds, in my family, for those ending up addicts and it freaks me out and scares me from having kids. My poor mother has had to deal with kids in and out of jail/prison or taking care of grandkids because CPS deemed one of my siblings unfit to raise her own kids. Motherhood is SCARY.
The scenes with the crying baby made my heart sink. I have had friends with so-called ‘colicky’ babies and it’s the worst feeling in the world when you are a mom. The guilt you feel, and the people constantly staring at you and wondering what is wrong with your parenting, on top of being exhausted and not thinking straight… yeah. I can see them wondering about devil spawn and such… 🙁
I think she is a very talented actress and anti diva. With her features she doesnt have the pressure of the rest of her colleagues to look young/thin/bussiness woman/super mother or whatever you want.
She is spot on.
I worried having a son knowing that in 16 years he would be towering over me saying God knows what. Demanding the car…or money for drugs or who knows what. It goes through your mind….or at least it went through mine.
She’s just acknowledging the fact of parenthood being fraught with difficulties.
For some, being a parent can be the making of them, others just can’t hack it but are stuck with a child they resent.
More honesty about motherhood would help women.
Can’t wait till award season. Can you imagine the wonderfull stuff SWINTON is going to wear to collect all her awards?
LOL @ “likely horrified journalist!” Hysterical!
I love her. I also love Ezra. He’s not creepy, he’s good at what he does. (I love him as Tucker on Royal Pains! Such a good boy!)
Launica – Trust yourself. If you don’t want to have kids, don’t. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s not your “job,” “primary function,” or “life’s goal,” despite what people say. You want ’em, have ’em. You don’t, don’t.
Motherhood is absolutely terrifying. You’ve got a little person growing inside you, someone who you will be mother to for, yes, the rest of your life. I’ve been a mother for over half my life (I started early). I want the best for my kids. But I cannot live (no matter how hard I try or wish) their lives for them: it’s on them to apply what I’ve taught and go on to lead productive, happy lives. And THAT is what’s terrifying.
“Did I do my job? Will they be okay? Will they be good people? Will they be good parents? Will they live a happy life?” Those are the questions that keep a mother up at night.
New mom here and I think this is such a true quote, “There’s that crossroads in the day where you think, ‘What do I do now?’ And sometimes it’s really hard to come up with something authentic.”
Knowing you birthed and raised a mass murderer must be one hell of an experience. I remember when the Columbine massacre happened and the outlash against the parents of Kleblod and Harris. Everyone believed it was the way the kids were raised by their parents that sparked the shootings and I remember thinking, what must their mothers be going through? And years later when the Kleblods gave an interview saying they too were hurting and never got the chance to grieve for their lost son and how they were going to live with the legacy of what their son left them with. It truly pretty fucking sad. Imagine what to do when your child goes and commits a heinous act- what will you do? I kinda what to understand, though I have no children I can only speculate, so I’ll prolly see this movie based on my morbid curiosity.
And speaking of when your child commits a heinous crime,have you heard of Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter’s sentencing? She only got 20 years for beating an infant to death. For reals.
This is one of the reasons why I won’t touch the idea of having kids with a ten-foot pole. Granted I knew at age 9 that I didn’t want any and never wavered on it, but I already have anxiety and depression in my genes. Addiction is in my family. I’d probably produce either a neurotic or something worse.
Plus you can’t tell me parenting is a wonderful walk in the park. I don’t believe in following the “life script” everyone pushes on you. I’ve seen a lot of stories either on the news or other websites about psychotic teenagers. Good grief.
I love her. I don’t have kids but have always wondered what it would be like to be a mother who has supposedly done everything right but still have a child who’s a psychopath, like in The Bad Seed or The Good Son.
This comment thread is a great example of why I keep coming back to CB. You ladies get it.
And this movie looks awesome.
First of all I LOVED the book. It almost felt like looking at a wound the whole time you are reading it. Lionel is a very skilled writer.
Everyday I worry about how my daughters are going to turn out. My husband and I try our best but I struggle from severe depression and don’t want the same for them. My husband wants a third child badly but I am too scared. So far my daughters are fine but who is to say that my third won’t be like me and wake up everyday of their lives feeling worthless. How could I look my children in the face knowing that I have cursed them with depression just as my poor mother cursed me with it?
I second the “motherhood is terrifying” emotion. I am a mother to a 2 year old that is an angel at one moment then demonic maniac the next. I honestly can’t wait until he is older and hopefully less demanding and destructive.
The kid in the movie isn’t a “problem child”, he’s a soulless monster. Everyone blames the mother when the kid turns out wrong but whether we want to admit it or not, some children are born without a conscience and never develop one. Maybe I was lucky with my one. He turned out great and I’m very proud of him.
Well, we know one parent who thinks about these things…The editor’s Mother. Really, who second tiers The Swinton and put Rhianna on the cover. I mean REALLY!!! Great interview or another one about sex and chains. *bangs head to table* Sigh.
I really loved this book, but it wasn’t until the ending. For all you celebitchies who are planning to see the movie, read the book first if you haven’t already. As I was reading it, I kind of hated the protagonist, Eva. But then, by the end of the book, I kind of fell in love with her. Lionel Shriver does such a good job of stirring all sorts of dichotomous emotions in the reader so much so that you will likely keep replaying scenes from the book over and over in your head. At least I did. The novel is written as an epistolary which helps the reader to really understand Eva’s point view even more so had Shriver chosen to tell the story with a linear plotline. Anyway, I am looking forward to the movie, and Tilda’s performance.
Excellent thread and the movie looks phenomenal.
I have loved her work since “Orlando” and she only gets better. I think this would be a great movie to share with a theatre audience to get the collective vibe afterwards.
She is so right. I worry all the time about my child and if she will be ok in her skin. Will she be a good person? A happy person?
Anyone who doesn’t have fear or insecurities about parenting is either delusional or a liar.
I am SO LOVING Tilda’s words!!! It is just such a breath of fresh air to hear that a celebrity is giving REALISTIC interviews….OH HOW I LOVE IT!!!
@ Launica-that’s the stuff that scares the shit out of me. I have 5 children, and my mind is often consumed wondering how they will turn out. I try to give them a normal, happy life. I see my flaws though too, and how I could be so much better. We always get compliments on them, but I tend to see the glass as half empty, not half full. The thing that scares me the most is looking at our family histories on both sides. If I could do anything over, it would be to seriously examine that and make a decision on a life partner taking everything into consideration, not just my feelings for them. My husbands family is crazy. His mom is an alcoholic, and his dad is suddenly bipolar since a few years ago. Many in his family are drug and alcohol abusers, and irritatingly co-dependent. My family is very selfish, and jumps from relationship to relationship, making it a mess for the children to see. We live far from family (at my insistence) so we could raise our children with little interference or influence from family. But will that be enough?I don’t want my kids to be drunkards, or do drugs. And I can’t control that, and it’s scary, because I try so hard, and deny myself the life I would want so that they can have what is best for them. I will not be selfish like my mom. I hope it is enough, and only time will tell.
I’m glad someone said it. Women who want kids know motherhood is going to be hard but you don’t realize how hard it is until you have that child and they get older and don’t just lie there and look cute. From having my daughter I’m torn, I don’t feel like i could handle having another one and doing it by myself again. But i also feel like giving it another try so i can “get it right”. There’s much i should have done with her that i didn’t and i feel so guilty. But part of me feels like she will turn out fine if i get it together and it wouldn’t be fair to her if i had another child and raised him/her better than I’m raising her. Sorry but Swinton is right i do worry how my daughter is going to turn out and i have no one else to have this convo with 🙁
This book has to be the most engrossing novel I’ve ever read. Just… gripping and wonderfully written. If you have an opportunity to read it, I highly recommend it.
I love what she said about parents performing for their children, and trying to be authentic while at the same time caring for the child. I really admire this woman.
My personal definition of Parenthood..
The most joyous and most heartwrenching and frustrating thing a person (who wants to have children) can do.. the bitch of it is, if it goes according to plan, you will never see the end result.
*when you are old and grey, your child will still be living*
@Blue, I feel for you, in my very humble opinion, it definitely seems best to concentrate all of your love and energy on the daughter you have right there in front of you, it’s never too late 🙂
@Rhiley – spot on. Fabulously haunting book.
These comments are refreshingly honest and awesome, unlike people mag who sanitize their comments.
Blue: Can your priest or minister suggest a support group for parents in your area? If there is one, I’d definitely look into it if I were you. You need all the support you can get.
Like I said upthread, I was damn lucky with my one. He’s a fine man and a good husband and father. I made a lot of mistakes along the line, like all parents. There is no magic bullet. All you can do is the best you can do — and pray a lot.
I am so seeing this film. Thanks for sharing
Um, no, not all mothers worry about that. At all.
I have a son and never even entertained those worries. how odd.
and yes, i am an introspective person who has worked professionally as a therapist and has family members who have ‘gone awry’.
even still, um, no tilda, we don’t all worry that we will give birth t the devil.
that’s her thing a nd i’m not taking that in/on. whew. weird.
As if I didn’t already love Tilda. . .
I see so many sweet, intelligent children absorb their parents’ damage. They instill all their fears and inadequacies in their offspring, without knowing or caring about the psychological toll it takes on their babies.
Not all kids. But plenty. Enough to really make me question whether I or not I can raise a child. So I choose not to. I think it’s the responsible thing to do.
Is it wrong if I found Ezra kind of hot in this trailer? He can feature in my nightmares any time.
Thought for the day:
Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
🙂
Def seing this one.
And all the personal stories/wories about your own fears is refreshing and slightly terrifying.
But it makes me feel better about being terrified about just thinking of having kids (cause im not the only one)
Cheyenne: Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
So. True
@werty: Sometimes I look at my little grandson and I think, wouldn’t it be great if you could skip a generation and go straight to being a grandparent? That little guy is the joy of my life.
THE SWINTON is awesome as usual and I like and agree with her much more than the other syrupy-celebmoms.
Blue – How old is she? Speaking from experience (and not always “good” experience) give her some time. She may come around.
It’s hard with girls…sometimes shit goes way awry, but things tend to come around in the end.
@ Cheyenne- following up with your first comment: I work in an inpatient psychiatric facility. The kids who are there who display sociopathic tendencies (they can’t actually be diagnosed a sociopath until 18) are simply horrifying. Killing animals. Attempting to kill siblings. Setting fires. Shit that keeps you up at night. And yes, most of these children come from unstable, abusive homes… but there’s this tiny percent where there’s no one to blame. No genetic disposition, no abuse, nothing. And my God, you just feel so sad for their poor parents.
holy crap. that movie trailer IS INTENSE.
she is an amazing actress, absolutely amazing, in everything that i have ever seen her in. i think she has this amazing appeal – she isn’t your typical standard of “beauty” but yet she is comepletely captivating when on screen. and i think it’s BECAUSE she’s not “pretty” that her performances aren’t held back or restrained – she doesn’t need to be “pretty” or “beautiful” and it gives her a freedom to REALLY be the character, the whole character – warts and all. the ugly parts, the dark parts, the violent, or the intense parts. it lets her be powerful in her roles. and of course, she’s got that d*mn awesome British accent, which always bumps you up a few points
meilamon – You know what? Sometimes fucked-up parents are an example of what NOT to do.
My mom was abused. She only hit me once (when I took the Lord’s name in vain). In my LIFETIME.
My hubs is an EXCELLENT father, despite his addict mother and father who died when he was 7. Hubs had a hard, HARD life, but he is a GOOD MAN. He is a good father, and I will fight to the death anyone who says otherwise. (And believe me, with his ex, that’s not an idle threat.)
My family is pretty stable (sis is just gotten out of rehab, but she’s not a bad person) and his family is a mess. There’s addicts, dysfunctionals, and all kinds of other messes galore.
We make it work, because we love each other. And we love our kids. No matter what, we love our kids. THAT’S the bottom line.
@drawbackwards – scary stuff huh? I used to work at a therapeutic day school, and that place was rough. Part learning institution, part mental institution. All doors locked, no sharp objects, one staff per student. In 18 short months I was pushed down a flight of stairs, sliced with safety scissors, and had a large history text slammed on a bent finger that resulted in permanent damage to my hand-just naming a few of the major incidents. Probably 80% of the kids came from poverty, the other half were from nice normal families. The scariest girl I ever met was a 8 year old beauty, auburn ringlets and big blue eyes, a disarming smile, and her last name was even Sweetwood. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing there, so I asked my supervisor and I got told this : she was the child of two paranoid schizo-affectives, conceived in a mental institution and now living with grandparents. She had personality issues similar to reactive-detachment, and G’ma & G’pa were always finding mutilated dead animals. Shocked as I was, it wasn’t long before I got to see firsthand when she pushed my knees out from under me and I fell down a flight of stairs, for no reason other than her amusement. Sometimes I wonder what happened to her and google her name every once in awhile, but maybe she is already locked up somewhere. True mental illness is a scary, scary thing.
I LOVED this book.
I have wonderful parents and I believe I’m what most people would expect out of their child. My brother on the other hand has been more than just a “problem child” since he was a toddler. We all live in fear of him and what he will do next, either to himself or others. Drugs, crime, violence, you name it. He has greatly affected all of us.
I’m not having children because of that.
@drawbackwards: That tiny percent represent the ones I was talking about. God knows how those kids get to be the way they are. And the scary part is they are untreatable because they don’t think anything is wrong with them.
_____________________________________________
@DesertRose: You should have drawn combat pay from that place. You are lucky to be alive. If that child hasn’t killed somebody yet it’s only a matter of time before she does.
These are two excellent books on sociopaths. I recommend them highly.
“People of the Lie” by M. Scott Peck
“The Bad Seed” by William March. The Broadway play and the movie were adapted from this but the book is way better than either.
I have five children – they are all really great kids. But, I’m with Swinton, basically, having kids is a crap shoot, you just never know how kids are going to turn out, and why they turn out the way they do. Not to mention, it’s time that we all have access to a different perspective than the usual sunshine and puppy dogs motherhood crapola that is usually crammed down our throats.
I bet the movie is fantastic (Tilda is a freaking GODDESS), but I have to say…nothing about this trailer creeped me out at all. Huh. I’m sure the movie will, but the trailer was tame.
Tilda Swinton is someone who always makes me think; she engenders intellectual response, in a way few actors do.
Two books I’ve read recently about psychopaths/sociopaths (they are two names for the same thing, apparently) are “The Psychopath Test” by Jon Ronson, and “The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout. Ronson’s book is more an exploration of psychopathy-as-mental-illness, while Stout’s is about how non-sociopathic humans can detect and cope with the vast majority of sociopaths (not the violent ones, but the ones who do things like marry ordinary humans and work in offices with ordinary humans and leave trails of emotional and financial destruction).
I need to preface this by saying I have no desire to be a mother and I have even less desire to be pregnant. I have major anxiety disorder and would likely turn that child into “the devil” with my incessant worries that I would give birth to the Elephant Baby. Yes, I have a pathological fear of giving birth to a monster but I.KNOW.THIS.IS.NOT.NORMAL! I also cringe whenever I hear a woman say she prefers a boy because I would never want a boy – that is not insane: I was raised by a single mother and was around women (my friends all had sisters) almost exclusively as a child. I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy. When I hear those comments they strike me as oddly sexist and self loathing. I bring all this up because I realize I sound like Tilda and therefore think she could have been taken out of context but I was offended by the quote below:
*“It’s everybody’s nightmare that, when they’re pregnant, they’re going to give birth to the devil. That when they bring up children, especially a boy, they’re going to give birth to this violence.*
No woman I know has feared she was going to give birth to the devil (as in a psychopath) and to assume that a boy = violent is horribly sexist.
Is Tilda a mother?
I have the son of satan in my class this year. Every day, I say to myself,”It could be worse, he could be my son.”
all this talk about babies is making me want to be pregnant
Tilda Swinton is right up there with Meryll Streep, they both transform themselves into whatever character they are performing, excellent actresses!
I think her comments were intended to just promote the movie, just to add a wow factor.
@Laura V: The books you mentioned sound fascinating and I’m going to check them out. I should have clarified about Peck’s book: it’s interesting but his whole basic premise is flawed. This is the guy who also wrote “The Road Less Traveled”. He thinks sociopaths are the ultimate narcissists and he’s spot-on there because they don’t give a damn about anybody but themselves. But then he says narcissists refuse to surrender their will go God and this is what makes them evil. I was like, WTF?? Some of the nicest people I ever met were atheists and some of the most evil were religious fanatics. But check it out anyway if you’re interested.
I’m never concerned about what my kids are going to inflict on the world. I’m on the look out for what the world is going to inflict on them and I’m ready to go to war for my kids if need be because my loyalty is with them.
@smh; as long as you can support it yourself and don’t let the state pay for it.
@flan i don’t live in the u.s. and besides no i wouldn’t raise a child on welfare. jeez not everybody is octomum.
Laura V – No, socios and psychos are two different things. They may not be very different things, but they are indeed not the same. Here’s a link:
http://helpingpsychology.com/sociopath-vs-psychopath-whats-the-difference
Psychos will behave like an actual normal human being, whereas socios would just as soon kill you as look at you. (Prior experience, with a batterer.)
Omg. Love tilda and am really loving all you honest moms. I love my little guy but already see my character flaws in him. Life is an exciting little gamble isn’t it?
I’ve been looking forward to this movie since Cannes- I can’t wait to be able to see it.
@Tiffany- I completely agree. Why ever would I want to read anything else Rihanna has to say when there’s this?
@ Desert Rose: “…her last name was even Sweetwood.”
I would be careful about disclosing information like that – people get sued left and right nowadays for really random things. Plus, respect for privacy?
Blue – try to get ahold of a book called “Momma Zen” by Karen Maezen Miller. It’s a book that will make you cry (in a good way), make you be a little less hard on yourself, and inspire you to do better (I’m saying that for me, not you). One of my favorite thoughts from the book is that children are our best teachers: day after day they return to give us another chance to learn, and try again. It’s helped me a lot to think about that the past few years. (It’s a Buddhist book, but I do think the lessons are pretty universal.) No matter what I’ve screwed up thus far, I still have new chances to try and make up for it.
Funny how we all react differently. I have a 4-year-old, but I’m not having any more…I feel like I’ve not done a very good job at this, and I’m going to stop while I’ve only messed up one!
That last quote from Tilda is so poignant to me. In retrospect, I should never have stayed at home with my daughter. I don’t even get to that midpoint of the day where I think, what now? I pretty much reach it immediately. =(
I love Tilda and this movie looks great, but I can’t even watch the trailer. Just the subject matter makes my gut twist. I never thought I’d birth the devil, but I do worry I’ll create her through my own failings.
Asmh; then you’re fine.
Though not every mom has children without being able to support themselves, there are waaaay too many out there who have children because they want to doll up or ‘keep their man’ or because ‘everyone; has them etc. Then when hubby leaves, they are sooo surprised and unprepared.
No respect for those types at all.
Maybe I wear rose-tinted glasses, but I have one child, and it never occurred to me whilst pregnant that I may give birth to a devil child. She’s three now, and is a little honey most of the time. Will update in 10 years time when she is giving me grief. Hopefully she won’t turn out to be an infamous criminal.
I read this book while I was pregnant with my first and it scared the crap out of me. I wasn’t expecting to be pregnant and I was already working myself up for the “worst.” Sleepless nights, a colicky baby. Then I read this and it terrified me.
When I read it while pregnant I was convinced the boy was just a bad seed. The second time was after I gave birth to my daughter (the easiest baby ever…so far) I was convinced it was Eva’s rejection that made him the way he was. The last few times I’ve been convinced it was a combination of the two. I think what is most interesting about the book is that Eva isn’t for sure she wants to be a mother, but does it anyway.
It IS scary. People do horrible stuff all the time. When I read the news I wonder about people’s parents…how they must feel to know their child has done something horrible. Not only do you have to worry about this scary world, but you have to worry about your child being the reason why it is such a scary place.
I understand what she means about trying to be authentic for your child. There’s only so many times you can read a book over and over again. Or play with cars and dolls before it gets boring. I try, but children are so smart. I fear mine will realize I’m not that into it.
Bellaluna: Interesting link. But what they say about psychopaths, I’ve heard the same thing said about sociopaths. I don’t know if there is any real difference between the two, except maybe psychopaths are dangerously emotionally disturbed, and sociopaths are just users and takers.
It’s nice that these things can be talked about now – Goop, aside. In my early twenties (15ish years ago) I was asked by an older female family member if I was ready to have kids. I said that I truly didn’t feel prepared to ensure that a child wouldn’t turn out as a violent criminal. I was then soundly schooled in how I was making transparent excuses for my own selfishness.
If you aren’t just a tiny bit worried about giving life to the devil, then YOU ARE THE DEVIL.
About the whole “authenticity” thing, I think we can all relax. First I think kids don’t mind performance mum AT ALL. Go to a school. Most teachers have a teacher “persona” they use in the classroom….higher energy, louder voice, cheerier than their normal selves. Kids LOVE this. My kids love it the crazier I get, and then at some point, I forget I am just acting like “fun mum” and I am actually, gasp, having fun. All this crap about you neeeding to be happy, my kids couldn’t care less how fulfilled and happy I am so long as I read them 20 stories, do playdough and take them to the park all witha smile on the dial. Its that simple. Good parenting is about endurance and a sense of humor. And you get better at it. I have more patience, a higher tolerance for boredom and a greater willingness to make a doofus of myself now than pre kids. Just my thoughts.
Kudos for Tilda Swinton for her honesty. I do not have kids, and I have always been puzzled at how often, when a person is accused or convicted of a truly horrific crime – serial murder, for instance – his/her mother is telling the media “No, they’ve got the wrong person, my child could never ever do what he/she is accused of, he/she is a wonderful, loving, kind person who would never ever hurt anyone…”
Total denial – because the mother cannot stand the idea that she did give birth to the devil.
I’m sure the movie will be great, but the preview is not terrifying at all.
@agreed. and why do they want children so that they can doll up? how does that even work. lmao
I don’t know what her children look like, but I hope they don’t look like an Alien like her. She is the most scariest looking thing I’ve ever seen apart from Donatella Versace.
ZenBitch – Yes, she has 2 children.
Cheyenne – I will always remember what my batterer said to me: “Sociopaths would just as soon kill you as look at you.” (At least psychopaths have a little charm.)
Now, I’m not a Gwyneth Paltrow supporter by any means but she’s also spoken openly about her post-partum depression and inability to feel anything towards her son at first.
@bellaluna: I knew a kid who was a classic sociopath. One of the most charming people I’ve ever met. Didn’t give a damn for anyone but himself. Not all sociopaths are violent, though, and he wasn’t, either. He was the kind of kid who would more likely grow up to be a consummate con artist like Bernard Madoff.
Everyone is talking about how “honest” she is- sorry- to me it just sounds like more fatuous, pretentious cynicism.
Her comment sounds JUST AS RIDICULOUS as Jennifer’s “There’s no deeper want for a woman than to be a mother.”
Only Tilda’s are on the other side of the spectrum. BOTH silly, sweeping generalizations.
Oh, and can i just say the trailer sucks? The movie may very well turn out to be great, but whoever put the trailer together should be fired.
of course you worry how your kids are gpoing to tiurn out: you have no idea what the hell you’re doing, there’s no instruction attached and all I know is that I don’t want to make the same mistakes my parents (and my in-laws) did, but it’s hard to tell what the alternative is. He’s not evil, and yes, there are some genes that I worry might kick in at any time. I believe Mother NAture is wise, and doesn’t give you more than you can handle (for your own self -not your kids) so I follow my gut, listen to other people’s experiences and analyze the outcomes -so I can be prepared for what my child can throw at me… And keep my fingers crossed.
I loved up to you will obtain performed proper here. The cartoon is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you would like be delivering the following. in poor health for sure come more beforehand once more since precisely the similar nearly a lot ceaselessly inside case you defend this increase.
I think this is one of the so much significant information for me. And i am glad reading your article. However should statement on some common issues, The website taste is ideal, the articles is really excellent : D. Good task, cheers
Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I in finding It truly useful & it helped me out much. I’m hoping to give something back and aid others like you aided me.
Heya i’m for the primary time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others such as you aided me.
Helpful info. Fortunate me I discovered your website unintentionally, and I’m surprised why this twist of fate didn’t came about earlier! I bookmarked it.