Let’s recap the current Linnocent situation: she’s a cracked-out mess. That about sums it up, right? Oh, you want details! She’s probably an international call girl, she gets paid a lot of money to “model” for budget clothes, she blows off whatever court-ordered obligations she has, she was actively non-compliant with her community service and didn’t even bother trying to get court-ordered therapy (where she surely would have been diagnosed with a massive personality disorder, like narcissistic personality disorder), and absolutely NONE of that is her fault because people are mean to her and everyone is trying to get famous off of her good name and SHUTUP. *throws drink at your face*

So, here’s the latest. First, Linnocent tweeted this “explanation” or crack denial or whatever you want to call it:

I am not to be made an example of anymore. I am working hard and fulfilling my obligations every single day, to the court as well as myself. If I travel, its for work and its been approved. As is anything I do when I leave the state. I’d appreciate it if people will just let me do what is asked of me, so that I can get my life back. Please ignore the reports which have no truth to them. Thank you

[From Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter]

Whatever, blah blah. This is her M.O. First, there are reports of crack shenanigans, then Lindsay denies it, then someone comes forward with further evidence, and then she shuts up and lets Dawn Holley do the talking and then the California legal system throws their hands up in the arm like they just don’t care. Why break the cycle now?

Let’s do the rest in bullet points:

*TMZ reports that Linnocent has been “going to therapy” if the definition of “going to therapy” means “calling some poor therapist bastard in the middle of the night when she’s all high and junk.” Yes, Linnocent claims that while she was “working” in Europe, she got approval from both her probation officer and her therapist, and she did two therapy sessions over the phone, both for longer than 45 minutes. I would LOVE to read those transcripts. I hope the court makes them public.

*TMZ’s report also notes that Linnocent “strongly believes the probation department is out to get her … and desperately wants to make an example out of her” and that she “can’t wait” to go to court to tell “her side of the story.” For real.

*TMZ also caught up with Mother Crackhead, in case you couldn’t tell from the previous stories. Dina tells TMZ that Lindsay is “great, wonderful and really on it” as far as her community service is going.

*And in our (hopefully) last story, Page Six reports that Linnocent stills absolutely HATES Pitbull – she’s suing him for (LMAO) defamation, remember? Because of his lyric, “I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.” Linnocent still has such a hate-on for Pitbull that she requires all of the clubs she “frequents” to NOT play Pitbull while she’s in the club. A source told Page Six, “Club staff were told that if any Pitbull song comes on, Lindsay would leave — [it’s] hard since he’s on so many hit songs right now. They briefed the DJ, actress Taryn Manning, that she could not play any Pitbull songs for the time Lindsay was at the event.” Linnocent’s crackie rep Steve Honig even confirmed this story, saying: “I told THQ that I would appreciate it if they did not play any Pitbull at the club. Lindsay was not aware of it, and she didn’t have anything to do with it. Even now she has no idea I did that. If they did play Pitbull, there was no chance she would have walked out.” I dare someone to play Pitbull around her. Wait, no. Don’t do it. She’ll beat you with a liquor bottle.

Oh, and Lindsay’s court date is for Wednesday, not Monday as I previously thought. Mark your crack calendars! If she’s found in violation of her probation, she could be looking at up to 18 months in jail. *rolls eyes* That won’t happen.

These are some new photos of Linnocent shopping with Ali. Because she’s Ali’s role model.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.