Raccoon McPantless makes her triumphant return in FHM: did you miss her?

Have you missed our beloved Raccoon McPantless? I have. We haven’t talked about her in so long! She’s just SO HARDCORE. I missed edgy and street-tough Cindy Lou Who. I personally think Raccoon McPantless was ahead of the raccoon-curve. She is clearly Duchess Kate’s style inspiration. Anyway, Raccoon has been keeping a lower profile ever since she got fired/pushed out of Gossip Girl. She’s just been focusing on her band, The Pretty Reckless, and I think she’s been on tour with them for the better part of a year. Now Raccoon covers the February/March issue of the UK’s FHM, and she’s just a sparkling gem in this interview. A gem covered in Wet N’ Wild liquid eyeliner and glue-gun-applied studs.

Raccoon McPantless is a mess when she’s not working: “I’m completely neurotic, totally anxious and high-strung all the time. I can work 24 hours a day and not have it bother me. I sleep for about four hours a night, or day, really. I go to bed at 9 a.m., sleep for four hours, then get up and start the day again. To be honest, I don’t know what to do when I’m not working. I lose my mind if I’m not constantly doing something.”

Raccoon McPantless loves stripper shoes: “I love stripper shoes and I always try to find the tallest ones. I’m always surprised no one talks about my shoes. I’m, like, on stage in 15-inch heels but people talk more about my eye make-up, which has stayed the same forever. I always think that’s funny. I got into heels when I was little, though. My mom’s really short so she always wears really tall heels and I used to steal them and now it’s just a part of my everyday life.”

Raccoon loves rainy, gloomy weather: “I love [the UK] I love that it’s always kind of gloomy. I don’t like the sun. Every now and again I want to go to the beach and be in the sun, but that’s a very rare feeling, so I could live in London, definitely. I like the rain. I like the gloom, and everyone’s got such an attitude, be it a good or a bad one. I like that everyone who you meet has a distinct personality.”

Raccoon doesn‘t like guys who try: “I don’t like guys who overdress. And I don’t like guys who try too hard. My biggest thing is be yourself. Be yourself and if people don’t like you, then they can suck a d–k. If they don’t like you, then they’re not the type of person you should be around. I don’t like people who pretend to be something to fit into a certain crowd or guys who pay more attention to how they look than you do – that’s not a good thing.”

[From Us Weekly & The Mirror]

I guess I should mention that Raccoon is finally of age – she turned 18 last July. So, we don’t have to wring our hands over Raccoon being so young and so… ridiculous. She’s now legally allowed to be this ridiculous. I know she says most of this stuff just to be “shocking” but I kind of liked the line, “Be yourself and if people don’t like you, then they can suck a d–k.” I hate to say it, but that should be my motto too. Damn it, Raccoon! I hate when she makes sense.

Photos courtesy of FHM.

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53 Responses to “Raccoon McPantless makes her triumphant return in FHM: did you miss her?”

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  1. Maya says:

    I haven’t heard her songs (thankfully), but the amount of eyeliner she wears makes me cringe. It reminds me of all the heavy eyeliner I used to wear in the late 80s. It was a bitch removing it all.

  2. Agnes says:

    I totally forgot about her! Do love “the toughest raccoon in the dumpster behind the Hot Topic”, though (that’s Michael K on dlisted).

  3. AMANDA says:

    Raccoon is ridiculous.

  4. Franny says:

    I bet it is exhausting to seem to so “over it” all of the time. We get it, you are a rocker, you don’t care who sees your nips, and Gossip Girl is for loserz. Now please go put some pants on and wash your face.

  5. kazoo says:

    fhm still exists?

  6. PAgirl says:

    LOVING the ad for the plush raccoon across the bottom of the pictures! Priceless. (hopefully I’m not the only one seeing that??)

    • Umlaut says:

      Hah, mine says, “Looking for animal removal services?”


    • MerryHappy says:

      mine is an ad for a book on amazon about ‘the natural history of raccoons.’ …. haha i love it.

      • MerryHappy says:

        now i have the plushie! awwwww!
        on a side note….she looks so dirty and wrong…. i dislike looking at her. lindsay lohan wants her busted weave back.

  7. Snoop says:

    Whatever look she was going for, she missed. She used to be beautiful now she looks empty.

  8. Unimpressed says:

    Right, she doesn’t try at all. Which is why she bleaches her hair and parades around in her underwear. Because she isn’t trying to impress anyone. Please.

    Once she grows up, she’s going to be quite embarrassed.

  9. RocketMerry says:

    Oh, Lindsay! I mean, Racoon…

  10. Linney says:

    What a failure her parents are.

    • MMF says:

      That is a thoughtless comment at best.

      Parents, (most of them) do the best they can with their children.

      Not all turn out as you hope.

      You’re obviously childess.

  11. lettylynton says:

    I absolutely love this girl and hope she tours again soon! She is very talented and I think she’s gorgeous. One of the best rock chicks out there now.

    • Happy21 says:

      My sister doesn’t read any celeb gossip or anything but stumbled across her band by accident on itunes. She loves it! She knows nothing of the Miss McPantless but she likes the music.

    • MsCatra says:

      I kinda hate myself for it, but I love her music, too. I was actually just listening to her band a couple days ago and wondering when they’d have new music. ::hangs head in shame::

  12. Hanna says:

    Shouldn’t you have a skirt on when you do those kind of poses? She tries to be harajuku kawaii but rock-ish or whatever, but she’s just a racoon looking fangirl. Awesome post though, lmao.

  13. Jackie says:

    i can’t help but like this girl. she is young, full of beans, and trying to be rebellious.

    i know all the signs probably point to a difficult future, but i have a soft spot for her.

  14. TQB says:

    Yeah, well, you can’t fault her for getting herself as far away from Gossip Girl as possible – that show is hot poo these days. Also, confess – The Pretty Reckless are pretty good.

    So, in my mind, the little rodent has played this all very well – gets away from lame show, makes decent music and come on, these interviews are always hilarious. Begrudging props to you, Stripper Heels.

  15. Jackson says:

    I was hoping that when she made her triumphant return to the spotlight that she’d be looking a little less ridiculous. Ah, well, I guess I can just go suck a dickkkkk.

  16. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    Yes, I free.99d that Make Me Wanna Die song because it is Kick-Ass and she does have a set of pipers on her.

    But I will never support this trick because she is a hypocrite. “Be yourself.” Right. She is a total gimmick. The studios have made her the child whore to market her to the peds and other pervs out there to rake in the cash. Who ever takes this girl seriously is deranged.

  17. Kimlee says:

    This girl is trying way to hard is so desperate for attention.

    If she was just being herself she wouldn’t be talking about how hard core she is in every interview ” I love stripper shoes” and ” I love the UK because it’s so gloomy” O ya she so bad ass, little girl needs to sit down and take lessons on how to be hard core cause her skit comes off a little girl dress up who needs people to pay attention to her.

  18. Jch says:

    Sounds a bit hypomanic…

  19. Asli says:

    Now, now Racoon. Alot of people enjoy oral sex. Don’t make it sound bad.

  20. mister decent says:

    I simply LOVE the name Racoon McPantsless! It’s laugh out loud, every time.

  21. Shelly says:

    I like Taylor. So much. She makes me happy with her teenage angst and enthrallment with all things gloomy and busted. She is a walking stereotype, but in her youth bubble she doesn’t even realize it. She is actually a very talented singer. I like her band. Reminds me of stuff I listened to in the 80s. It’s easy to rag on her for that, but she wasn’t even born in the 80s, so it’s all old-school and new to her. I actually saw her band at House of Blues last year, and she was quite good and dressed very 80s rocker chick/video vixen. I wanted to dress like that when I was her age way back in 1989, since I was enthralled with all things hair band at the time. She’s kind of a trip.

    • taksi says:

      I think she’s actually a pretty good singer, and her band’s not bad but they’re in the wrong era. She harmless and she’s only 18. I’m a bit disturbed by how bare her wardrobe is, and how much older the people around her are, but I don’t think the rocker aspirations/pretensions are that bad. Hopefully, she’ll get it out of her system.

  22. Wendy says:

    I get what she’s trying to do with the whole “I don’t care what you think” shtick…It’s been done for decades. It’s good for people to hear that once in a while. But good lord every time I look at her all I think it…child PLEASE take a shower

  23. Little Darling says:

    For one brief moment I thought I teleported back around 3 years with the header photo (looks just like every other picture I have ever seen of this one) and the fact the FHM is the cover she is on.

    And here I thought we made it to 2012!!

  24. Happy21 says:

    She seems to try hard to me. And she sounds so very immature in her interview. If she wants to be taken seriously as a rockstar or whatever she thinks she is, she needs to stop sounding like a valley-girl who is trying to be a rocker.

  25. Mashmash says:

    She needed a hair cut 2-3 years ago. It just looks dead and tired. Thats the part of her persona I hate the most – eyeliner, shoes, underwear, I don’t care, JUST CUT THE HAIR BY 12″!

  26. Alyce says:

    I actually really like her music. I just wish that she’d shower and put on some pants.

  27. samab says:

    I think she’s a good singer.For the other stuff I don’t care.She’s in a time of her life that she’s entitled to want to be different.Personally I’m not liking her style,but I prefer her than britney back in the day(look how it ended)or the other pop princesses out there.Just agree with the hair…cut them!!

  28. Kat says:

    She’s disgusting and headed down the Lindsay “Crack addict and no career” track.

  29. Kimberly says:

    She reminds me of Avril Levine<– I don't know how to spell her name since I've never cared to learn!

    Both sucked at singing
    Both thought they were hard as fuck and unique
    Both were fake little pansy ass chicks with daddy issues
    Both just TRY TOO HARD that it is funny!!!!

    I like to call this chick:
    Ms. Generic, because EVERYTHING she does is generic, but she thinks is original!!! It’s funny but it shows how she’s just a little girl trying to wear big girl crotchless panties.

  30. Jover says:

    Sign on Kimberly completely; she is not going to happen; no she’s not that good when you’re competition in the genre is watered down acts like KOL, coldplay and God forbid Nickelback. SHe’s not going to be headlining venues of 20-30,000 and giving live 2 hr. concerts. She’s a total poser and a sad little girl, if she wants to be taken seriously get some real talent go on the road and earn your fans. And quite referencing bands like Zeppelin and Sabbath; saw them back in the day what passes for “rock” today is so far from the glory days, as everyone knows, those bands may as well have existed in another solar system. Original victoria’s right she’s a cliched gimmick; didn’t the studio/marketing people even pick her backing musicians?

  31. Darla says:

    Same ol thing.

  32. Deb says:

    “Taylor Momsen invites you (and Jenna Haze) to her place.” So, she’s hanging out with porn stars now? I guess porn will be the next logical step for her. Her aversion to wearing pants will work in her favor in that industry.

  33. B says:

    I didn’t think much of her but one of my girlfriends dragged me to her show and I was impressed. Girl can sing!

  34. Chris says:

    I must be psychic. I was only talking about Racoon Strippers R Us yesterday and bam she pops up. The fact that she rubs so many of you the wrong way compels me to like her. I’m just that kinda guy.
    So to answer to your question, Kaiser. Yes. Yes I did.

  35. Love Celebitchy :) says:

    can’t stand her…that expression on her face is incredibly smug and annoying!

  36. Kendall says:

    I don’t particularly like her, but I will admit her music is really good

  37. girlwhoyoukiddin says:

    Oh, you can work 24 hrs a day no problem, huh?

    Um, just one thing darlin’.

    What you do is NOT work.

    Get a 9-5 office job or work retail 40 hrs a week. Then we’ll see if you can “work” that much.

  38. Ginger says:

    Call it ageism but I just want to pat her on her bleached out head and just say “there, there” or “you’re so cute with your rebellious ways” Reminds me of my youth!! LOL!

  39. NinaG says:

    I don’t know who she is….Wow I am really out of the loop 🙁