Pippa Middleton is going to uptrade her way into being a duchess, y’all

I don’t have the time or the inclination to go through the whole sordid history, but I’ll try to recap the major plot points. Last year, Pippa Middleton became a commodity, and as such, her relationship with Alex Loudon suffered. Pippa and Alex were on and off for months before Alex finally dumped her. During a few of their breakups, Pippa began cozying up to her ex, George Percy, the future Duke of Northumberland. She even spent the night at his place, which the paparazzi caught. Since the split with Alex, Pippa spent more time with Percy, and with his roommate (and another ex of Pippa’s), JJ Jardine-Paterson. Basically, Pippa has been angling to “uptrade” to someone titled (or filthy rich, or both) for a year. And the British tabloids claim that Pippa has succeeded! YAY FOR UPTRADEY!

ROYAL bridesmaid Pippa Middleton is following in sister Kate’s noble footsteps — she’s dating a mega-rich Earl whose real-life home is HOGWARTS. Pippa, 27, is in a serious romance with her old flame George Percy, heir to the Duke of Northumberland. It is one of Britain’s richest and grandest dukedoms, with a vast estate that includes Alnwick Castle, movie setting for Harry Potter’s wizard school.

George, 27 — dubbed Prince of the North by pals — will one day inherit the lot, including a fortune of £315million.

A source close to the couple said last night: “George is very smitten and completely in love with her. It looks like the Middleton sisters will be completing the double before too long.”

Pippa has been close pals with George for years. They met at Edinburgh University and had a fling in their final year in 2008. Last year they insisted they were “just friends” after he was seen helping her get over her split with banker Alex Louden. But it blossomed into love at a New Year’s Eve party thrown by the Middleton family. The source revealed: “Pippa sat herself next to George at supper and made sure she was hanging off his arm all night. And then she made her move. It was like a shark circling its bait. Some people think she has always set out to do this.”

The pal added: “Pippa has always been close to him. There is no doubt this was a huge issue for her ex-boyfriend Alex. After they parted the first thing she did was spend a weekend on George’s estate in Northumberland. But now they are out in the open.”

When George was 14 his father went to court to delay his inheritance, fearing it would send him off the rails. Instead of getting £1million and £250,000-a-year income at 18, he had to wait until he was 25.

The source added: “If Pippa ends up marrying Earl Percy, then it isn’t a bad return on Carole Middleton’s investment when she sent her two daughters to posh public schools!”

THE Percys were the most powerful noble family in the North in the Middle Ages. William de Percy was a pal of William the Conquerer. The dukedom comes with 100,000 acres, 100 tenanted farms, an estate in Surrey and a mansion in London. As a boy, George was a page to the Queen.

[From The Sun]

I know Pippa isn’t beloved around here, but I like this girl. She works, she has ambitions beyond “getting the ring” and she plays a more aggressive game than her sister. Plus, I just think Pippa has way more personality than Kate. So I’m hoping Pippa did pounce on her prey and that she will be a duchess too (at some point). Yay!

PS… George is the blonde dude in these photos. He’s not bad-looking, he just seems a bit milquetoast.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN & PCN.

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83 Responses to “Pippa Middleton is going to uptrade her way into being a duchess, y’all”

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  1. kazoo says:

    Her face is soooo harsh. And it’s only going to get worse as she gets older. Poor girl.

  2. RocketMerry says:

    What is it with the Middletons and eye make up?! They NEED to go easier with it. Maybe warmer tones, like peachy pink shadow and a little bit of silver? Something ELSE from what they’re doing.

  3. bea says:

    She’s cute, but the last pic with the short clingy slip dress and tights?! The heavy make-up it’s helping either. She needs a stylist.

    But I do agree with the blogger – she’s works, she isn’t Fergie. It’s got to suck to have your every act scrutinized just bc your sister married someone famous!

  4. LadyJane says:

    Pippa has what you call a hatchet face. She looks dead rough for her tender years. She also has one of those faces that always looks like she needs to wax her mustache, although I am sure that isn’t the case.

    • Anon73 says:

      sooo true !! lawd, that is one unattractive man… er woman. esp that last pic of her. Tranny anyone ?!

  5. Boo says:

    She always has a bitchmouth on.

    He looks cute, and I am NOT rooting for her to plot, scheme, and shark her way into his inheritance. If she does, his Dad better watch out for razor blades in his porridge, as Pips wants the fast track to Duchessville–waiting around for the man to die of natural causes would be SUCH a DRAG.

    • iseepinkelefants says:

      Exactly. One in the upper echelons of soceity is enough. I don’t care to see Carole Middleton’s cheshire cat grin get any larger. I’m still amazed at how she managed to pull it off. The upper crusts must be seething.

  6. NotaBitterBetty says:

    I like Pippa, and for the same reasons you do too Kaiser. But I doubt this story, it’s The Sun after all and accuracy is not their strong point. Besides, I’m holding out for a Pippa/Harry hookup!

  7. Isa says:

    OMG Kaiser when I read about it this morning, the first thought I had was:

    “Kaiser you were SO right about how it was going to go down with her and the Duke!!!!!

    Kudos for predicting the news rather than merely writing about it.

  8. Talie says:

    I agree, you can’t hate on the girl…she at least has a job she reports to every day.

    • bluhare says:

      What does she do?? From everything I’ve seen, she does as much as her sister did, which was wait around to marry a prince. Pippa’s doing the same thing, only different.

      • NancyMan says:

        I believe she works for the family company selling party supplies.

      • Alti says:

        She works. Really! I´ve checked it and i´m still surprised. She has two jobs: She works two days a week for the Middleton-company “Party Piece”, editing the web magazine “Party Times”. And tree days a week she works as a party planer for “Blue Strawberry”, a wedding catering specialist ans she also does the PR for the company “Table Talk” in London.

      • Alti says:

        three not tree :-)

    • Snappyfish says:

      WAIT one minute here!! It’s okay that this girl works for the family business but Catherine was lazy while doing the exact same thing..

      Look up the word hypocrisy. Both sisters had/have the same job & one is revered for working it & the other lazy?

  9. BW says:

    Anyone would look milquetoast white next to Pippa orange.

  10. Lastword says:

    I can’t wait for the tellalls that will undoubtedly be written about the middleton sisters in the near future. They really are a modern day Boleyn family.. & behind that smile Kate is probably a scheming bitch

    • CookieJar says:

      Yes! Exactly.

      • Luise says:

        So true. Kate is a fake bitch. And The Pippster is a professional shark. I would hate to see her landing Percy. He has got to be an all time sucker to be schnookered by that orange wizened monkey.

  11. TheOriginalVictoria says:

    On the one hand she’s doing it for all the basic bitches out there! She’s showing us you can look like Tonya Harding’s busted cousin and still get your Wallis Simpson on-and we all know Wallis was SUCH a dish.

    Why should she settle for a banker when her sister got a prince? She is competing hardcore with Kate and she might come out winning since she won’t be under severe scrutiny so when she gets caught banging the stable boy, it won’t be that bad.

    • Talie says:

      She actually looks a lot like Wallis Simpson, too, weirdly.

      • Luise says:

        I’ve been saying that for months. I wonder if she is as talented as Wallis was?

      • Therese says:

        Talie, thank you so much for noticing that. I’ve been saying that since last year, and no one would comment on it. It was the picture of Pippa standing by Prince Harry on the balcony after the wedding, and they were both looking sideways. It was striking in that picture how much she looked like Simpson. With an up do, marcelled, and some red lipstick, she would be a dead ringer. More so than the lovely girl Madonna starred in her movie. Simpson was a hard and hard-playing woman, who has been romanticized. I’m not saying she had no redeeming qualities, but in some of her letters, she said she could let the Prince go if she had to. She actually stole him from Gloria Vanderbilt’s aunt. When the aunt went to America for a trip, she asked her friend Simpson to “look after the Prince”, and when she came back, they were a couple. I remember reading what an English cabinet member said about Simpson: he thought she was hard, “with that slash of a mouth”. But of course, I don’t know Pippa, and I’m only comparing looks. I’m just talking about asthetics. I do think, as other commenters have said, that Pippa has such a harsh face for one so young, or even someone older. There is no softness there. I am shocked when I see pictures of her, because she almost seems to have a snarl on her face. I like that Kaiser admires Pippa for working, and I agree with that ethic. That is admirable. Poor girl is pretty young. And these are the people that she runs with, why not date and marry them. I see nothing wrong in that. I guess it’s harsh of me, but I think she’s pretty ugly. Hope she has a great personality.

    • kristiner says:

      …”Tonya Harding’s busted cousin while getting her Wallis Simpson on…”


  12. JudyJudyJudy says:

    they all remind me of the Boleyns. and now a Percy is in the mix. lol

    • Sunshine says:

      Haha I was just going to say that Pippa and her family must think they’re the Boleyns of the 21st century! Sweetie, you’re no Anne Boleyn, if she didn’t get her Percy, why should you?

      • JudyJudyJudy says:

        cause her sis got the King, that’s why. :-)

      • Mika says:

        A Percy! I love it. I would love it more, however, if history repeated itself and Pippa stole William from Kate when Kate was pregnant with their son. That would be the best. Terrible, but the best.

    • Snappyfish says:

      Anne Boelyn was mistreated by history. She didn’t want to be Queen she wanted to be w/Harry Percy. Henry broke them up & married Harry to the daughter of the Earl of Shrewsbury. She was a deer in headlights & was smart enough to make the best of it. One of the first women in history who ended up with a voice.

      Jane Seymour was the predictor as she ACTUALLY did (of was pushed into) all the things that Anne was accused of.

      Anne followed the beloved Katherine of Aragon whereas Jane followed Anne who the people never forgave for usurping her ( yet Henry the VIIIlian was give a pass)

      However, England did adore Anne’s daughter, which they never would have done during those times, had the bulk of Anne’s so called treachery been true

      • LAK says:

        Anne Bolyen’s reputation was pretty much rescued by the time Elizabeth came to the throne.

        The Seymours, the Howards/Boylens and every aristo or pseudo aristo family tried to push their daughters into the king’s Bed. That way they could control the king and or become very wealthy, and upgrade their own titles.

        The similarities of Bolyens with the Middletons, is that they are both trade and up-tradey. Thomas Bolyen [Anne's father] uptraded by marrying into the aristo Howard family.

        the Middleton appear to have revived that tradition.

        It is fairly well documented that Pippa arrived at Edinburgh University [every landed rich Aristo's son goes there rather than Oxbridge], and made a point of ONLY befriending them and no other type of student.

  13. JulieM says:

    So-looks like Alex was correct. I’ll give Pippa credit; she’s a real hustler.

  14. HoustonGrl says:

    Both these girls are for sale.

  15. Laila says:

    Urgh! I find her so annoying! A few small changes like a decent haircut and better application of her makeup and she could be so much softer looking in the face. She could be really pretty if she did something with that bloody hair! Why isn’t anyone helping her?!

  16. GoodCapon says:

    Nah it’s the Sun. They make crappy stories all the time, more than the Daily Mail.

    I do wonder how she manages to get all the good-looking guys though? Have you seen her ex-bfs, they’re all quite good-looking, rich and come from good stock. Her relationships are very unequal in the looks department, she’s not that rich (30 mil is pocket change for these guys) and let’s not talk about her background…

    But yeah, seriously, how does she do it! It amazes me how she continues to get these victims on a fairly consistent basis. I think she’s better off writing a book about snagging rich men than writing about party planning because she has obviously more experience with the former.

    • Lexi says:

      How to Marry a Millionaire ~ would be a fun read ~ a party planning book is sooo last century and just lame

      • LAK says:

        there is a film of the very same name written by Anita Loos, also author of Gentlemen prefer Blondes/Gentlemen marry Brunettes.

        Both starring Marilyn Monroe, and very instructive in the art of bagging a millionaire and/or at the very least the philosophy behind it.

        The scary thing is it’s as relevant today as it was when they were written/filmed and centuries ago.

    • Happymom says:

      She’s sporty, vivacious and fun to be with. I’m just amazed that these girls were able to rise to these levels just by having gone to the posh schools.

      • LAK says:

        That’s why you send your kids to private school. They gain more than just an education. They gain ‘the old boys network’.

      • GoodCapon says:

        “She’s sporty, vivacious and fun to be with.”

        I guess she has to be to transcend her ugliness. I can understand why boys would like her if she was pretty, but she is very plain and has manly features. She has to work double time to get them interested if you know what I mean.

        LAK is right, the Middleton siblings should be grateful to their parents for sending them to Marlborough. I doubt the aristos would give them a second look if they came from state schools.

  17. juicyjackie says:

    Not a celebrity

  18. Brenda says:

    LOL, uptradey and waity!!! I’m sorry but I just don’t get her appeal, she’s so busted in the face!!

  19. maemay says:

    I personally admire the Midds and their ability to marry well. The only thing the mother did was made sure her girls went to the best schools. And from their schooling they made connections. A Prince and A Duke, these guys are not dumb, they CHOSE to associate with Kate and Pippa or their own free will. Mrs Midd should write a book, nothing wrong with making money and making sure your children have money and connections, in fact it is a parents duty to do so.

  20. Lia says:

    If she marries this duke, she and her husband could be doppelgangers for her sister and the prince. From a distance, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.

    • Alexa says:

      Well you could tell the difference – he’s a lot shorter than Prince William.

      He seems like a decent guy however and he does work instead of living off his considerable trust fund. He has known Pippa much longer than all the folks commenting on her. Maybe he knows something about her the rest of the world does not?
      Sometimes marriages based on real friendship work the best. If all this is really true, then good luck to them both!

      • MAREHOOP says:

        I was thinking the same thing… Maybe they have developed a friendship is something is there… Boy these comments.. There is nothing wrong here.. If she marries him for him for love, that is great and a little extra money will not hurt. Go Pipa and OTHER (male or female) in the dating game. Hey its rough out there when your single….

  21. MM says:

    Kadarshians of the UK. Mama is famehoring the gurls!!!

    • NancyMan says:

      I think that’s and unfair comparison. I’ve never read anything beyond the norm about Mrs Middleton whoring out her girls for fame or riches.

      Mama Kardashian is in a league, no universe of her own!

    • NancyMan says:

      I think that’s an unfair comparison. I’ve never read anything beyond the norm about Mrs Middleton whoring out her girls for fame or riches.

      Mama Kardashian is in a league, no universe of her own!

  22. Asli says:

    You know the world is about to end when someone becomes famous for their ass. We didn’t even get a sextape or anything. I feel cheated…

    • Little Darling says:

      Your comments are quickly rising to be my favorites!!

      Seriously though…famous for what exactly? The bum in the wedding dress? Being Katies sister?

      No sex tape, no reality show, a person who actually works for a living…what is celebrity coming to?

      • Asli says:

        Thanks :D And I agree. Since Paris Hilton, celebritisme (new word) has gone down hill. It seems every Tom, Dick and Harry are getting famous nowaday…… or more like every Stacy, Elizabeth and Kardashian(side-eye at Clooney and the devils spawn (Kris J.)).

  23. RobN says:

    For those who don’t see her appeal because she’s so “busted” and desperately needs a stylist, maybe it’s because she’s nice? Maybe she’s fun and smart and is easy to talk to, maybe they like girls who don’t call other girls “busted”.

  24. Little Darling says:

    I think Pippa’s all right. She works, she seems like loads of fun, she wears great coats, and she knows what she wants and goes for it.

    I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the exact same thing should I be thrust into the public position that she has.

    I adore the fact that this girl parties and works. She’s not just waiting for some guy to sweep her off her feet, she is actively pursuing a life of luxury, and I can’t hate on her for that.

    I echo RobN…she’s probably liked because she’s a nice person who knows how to kick back and has a strong work ethic.

    Rough around the edges perhaps, but jeeze, that’s pretty much what every woman looks like without a major stylist and/or five hours getting primped. I can look like the hottest woman in the room with effort, but catch me on an off day coffee run before driving my kids to school and man oh man, busted wouldn’t be the word!!!

  25. JoanCrawfordHangers says:

    So strange, the only time I’ve ever found her attractive was during the royal wedding. Every other photo op/outing/magazine cover she comes off a complete butterface.

    • GoodCapon says:

      To be fair, it was the royal wedding, she needed to scrub up! I don’t think Kate would have allowed her to look like the way she normally does. :D

  26. Erin says:

    I don’t like Uptradey mainly because I don’t appreciate her game. Why not marry a man you love? I guess she could love the Earl but my money (pun intended) is that she’s going for the gold and title. She wouldn’t be so hell bent on pursuing him after Kate married the prince, otherwise.

  27. benny says:

    I can’t imagine his parents would approve. Maybe they’ll wait until the parents are dead.

    • Alexa says:

      She’s been up to his castle a number of times and they don’t seem to have minded. Waiting for his father to die may be a long wait – he is only 54.

      If they do marry she’ll probably be a countess for quite a time before getting to duchess.

      • LAK says:

        of course they don’t mind. he isn’t proposing. Aristos don’t care who there sons date. They only care about who they marry.

  28. Sachi says:

    I don’t believe The Sun. They tend to make up stories like this.

    Many people still believe that Percy and Pippa used to date…but they never did. Percy is a good friend, that’s all.

    If Percy didn’t ask her out after all this time, why now? I don’t think Percy was the one holding out for Pippa to become well-known in the press before asking her out.

    They’ve been friends since their Uni days. If Percy truly wanted to go out with her, he’d have done so by now. But he never did ask her out, contrary to what many reports say that he is Pippa’s ex-boyfriend. Pippa has had several relationships since then, and Percy still hasn’t come around to asking her out.

    Pippa spending time at Percy’s house right after her breakup with Alex was probably a booty call, they’re probably friends with benefits. She was caught ‘sneaking out’ at 3AM from his place and walking home.

    Pippa seems like she is fun and has a cool personality. I just don’t like the way she paraded the two men one after the other (Madrid, Wimbledon 2011), and set the press on a frenzy about when she would trade Loudon for Percy and when she’d be a Duchess. The press went to town about how much richer George Percy is, and that he is a much better catch than Loudon who has no title, and that Pippa would be smart to dump Loudon then and there and go for Percy. Since then, we had the paparazzi catching Pippa on trips with Percy while she was still with Loudon. It was clear Pippa had no problems getting photographed and being reported to be angling for another man while her (then) boyfriend stayed in London, out of the limelight, just continuing with his life.

    It must have offended Loudon and his parents to be labeled by the press as “seat warmers” while Pippa chases around for better money and title to upgrade. She came across as attention-hungry, money-grubbing, and too aggressive in her desire to climb her way to aristocracy. She’s not the first person to do so, but she just really behaved like she was “on sale” and she’d go to the highest bidder.

    Anyway, what’s odd, though, is that Percy has never been reported to have dated anyone. Surely, a guy like him with the money to burn must have dated some socialites/rich girls who run in the same elite circles as he does. He and his family are not completely out of the public eye to not be covered by the press, either, and the British press reported his sister Melissa’s breakup in the past. The only ex-girlfriend, and allegedly at that, known is Pippa. No one else. It’s like he has never dated anyone at all.

    • RobN says:

      I married a guy whom I’d been friends with for five years before it turned into something romantic. Happens all the time; just because they never dated before doesn’t mean they’re not dating now. People evolve, grow up, see things and people differently. Just because you don’t fall in love at first sight doesn’t mean that you won’t wake up someday and think he/she is pretty special and wonder why you didn’t see it all along.

    • Isa says:

      Ok i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

      Percy makes my gaydar go off.
      Who knows, maybe Pippa is bearding for her brother and Percy?

      • LAK says:

        nah. he is a typical hoorah Henry. Walk down the king’s road in London or the royal counties, and they all look and dress like that.

  29. Nonny says:

    Lay back and think of England love, imagine all the Botox you can buy with 315 million!

  30. izzyvalentine says:

    The Middletons remind me of the Bennetts from P&P. But less endearing and more scheming and bitchy.

  31. Adrien says:

    I thought we got rid of Sopa and Pipa.

  32. Shay Kay says:

    What about the Middleton brother? Is James all uptradey too? We never hear about him or see pics so what’s the story there? I’m just wondering if he wants to be a duchess too!(Yes, I know duchess is for females but you get my point!)

    • Lexi says:

      yes the silence around Frere James is loud ~ there was one article in the DM a day or two after the wedding that basically outed James ~ English-style ~ he has a cake or catering business with his “BFF” and was described as “flamboyant”. Too bad, he’s better looking than both sisters.

  33. katiemarie says:

    I am actually really impressed…my first reaction was “her?” She’s cute enough, but you have to imagine a young Duke with THAT much money and power is going to have a ton of women throwing themselves at him. Pippa must have some serious game.

  34. moopsie says:

    What does Pippa do for a living anyways?

  35. DavidBowie says:

    Man, she always looks like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet. Yuck.