Doesn’t it seem like the Duggars are taking it up a notch recently? They’re letting their [fill in the blank] flag fly. (There are all sorts of adjectives that come to mind to put before “flag,” and I’m sure you can come up with plenty too. “Freak” is too easy.) In December, after Michelle Duggar sadly miscarried her last pregnancy around her 19th week, she recorded a public message to the baby she lost that included an awful lot of pro-life rhetoric. She said, in part, “So often in society babies are looked upon as a problem, trial or responsibility, but God says babies are a blessing. We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache or a financial drainer or a career interrupter.”
Well now Michelle has a message for the wives of the world. We should ditch all our girlfriends and never ask anyone for advice except our husbands. We should never question anything our husband does and let him have the final word on everything. Michelle said all this on her reality show, “19 Kids and Counting.” Radar has the details:
* A Husband Needs A Wife Who Accepts Him As A Leader And Believes In His God-Given Responsibilities”: Husbands are commanded to govern their wives; God works through a man’s decisions — good or bad; Bad decisions reveal his needs and allow the wife to appeal and demonstrate Godly character; The more a wife trusts her husband, the more careful he will be in giving her direction; Never ask others for counsel without your husband’s approval; reassure your husband that you understand and believe that he is your God-given leader.
* A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty: How can you become more of the wife of your husband’s dreams?; discover and conform to your husband’s real wishes; explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority; separate your “rights” from your responsibilities.
* Ask your husband to define your responsibilities; Ask your husband to tell you when you have a resistant spirit; dispel a backbiting tongue by silence.
[From Radar]
So is Michelle saying that Jim-Bob is responsible for that awful 80s hair she has and that she’d like to change it? I just kept focusing on this line “explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority.” It’s bizarre. If you read between the lines on that first bullet point, it sounds like she saying that you should let your husband do a bunch of stupid sh*t on his own so that you can ultimately get your way, but maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part. Overall it reads like antiquated ridiculous pap. A women’s place is in the house doing whatever her husband wants, dressing and looking exactly as he wants and being available for sex all the time without birth control.
I hope that in practice this isn’t actually how this woman lives. In a different family dynamic where the man is abusive, her advice could be quite harmful. That’s all on the wife, though right? She’s just supposed to take it without question, never talk back or leave, and just pray that the man treats her better.
I shouldn’t put so much emphasis on the stupid crap this woman says. She’s got some competition coming in the enormous family reality show circuit, and she knows she’s got to step it up if she wants to remain in the news.
The Duggars are shown at The 2012 Conservative Political Action Conference on 2-10-12. Credit: Mark Wilkins/FameFlynet Pictures
ugh…
Uggh is right, and so is a big sigggh.
I will say this though: her faith is obviously not protecting her from whoredom addiction. She is now doing anything possible to keep the cameras roiling, and is competing with the Kardashian for not only camera time, but also celeb-mag covers. Maybe to the detriment of the well being of her 19 children… Oh, forgot that the older children raise the younger ones.
In the first few centuries of Christianity it were especially women who embraced the faith (like Saint Helen, mother of first Christian Roman Emperor Constantine).
It has sure come back to bite us.
Very true. Jesus had 4 female disciples, and so many other discoveries made in the past 30 years have proven that women had equal standing as men within the real Christianity.
That’s the thing with organized religion, and why they are so against Science: Their hatred of women.
How often new scientific discoveries have resulted in not only bringing forward unconditional proof of women’s place within Christianity, but had also proven that those “men of God” are the biggest offenders: They have been lying in the name of God.
And that is why women like Michelle are kept away from books. And most specifically, from science. To better be controlled. All of this is really shameful. Wonder how the kids are going to react, children are naturally curious, they tend to rebel and look for answers outside their “family values”.
You know, all this submission might have a weird effect in the long run: She might go all Lorena Bobitt on HIS reproductive system!
*Fingers crossed*
Exactly what I said…accompanied by an appropriate facial expression and full body shudder.
i have been marry for 17 years and i got son who is 13 years old i think that my son is a blessing but i do every thing for my husband because i am his carer because he is very ill so my son help me to look after him my son is a young carer and i don’t get anyhelp to look after my husband i only my son help
Thank f-ck this isn’t the middleages.
I don’t know about that anymore. It seems we’re heading back in that direction, if you ask me.
Sadly, you might be right.
Well, when someone with Santorum’s “ideals” is allowed to run for President of the USA (!!!), you know we have taken not only a huge step back in women’s rights, but we are now competing for an ultra-conservative government with certain middle and far Eastern countries. Countries we ave heavily criticized up to now for their stifling laws that at times break Human Rights.
This is where women need to step up, and fight for the rights that so many fought for before us. We can NOT allow this progress to be rolled back. At this particular point in history, women have more opportunity to be equal~even superior~to men in terms of emplyment, education, and other opportunities. We can build & maintain our own households, run our own businesses, and NOT be dependent on prince charming to come save us poor little helpless girls from the boogeyman. If you think the most recent attacks on birth control options are anything short of a declaration of war on womens rights, you are sadly mistaken. Freedom of religion means freedom FROM religion just as much. The most disturbing thing I see is that MORE women are not fighting to retain the progress we have made. Don’t be a “stepford wife”, CLAIM the political & personal power back from those who would steal it from you. Its already almost too late~and the day is NOT getting any longer for any of us.
phlyfiremama, what a beautiful post! I agree with every word, you have great clarity and elegance in expressing yourself.
Yea really. These two idiots must still think that its a mans job to be on top as well, so you know, he can feel like a man.
Remember voters- these two are current supporters for Rick Santorum. They think having a “Morals Sherriff” is “just what we need right now”. Very strange people, indeed.
Amen to that! Scary isn’t it?
I believe Rick Santorum considers this couple to be his friends, not just supporters. That right there tells me enough about both the Duggars and the Santorums.
Santorum…gross… I consider myself a conservative (though moderate) but I’d re-elect President Obama in a heartbeat over ol Rick.
So I guess we have Jim-Bob to thank for those Santorum sweater vests? Santorum is a mouth breathing, cave dweller, and my vote will be going squarely against him.
I know it’s the GOP, but I have never seen this type of over-the-top religious zealotry that wasn’t shot down early in the primaries. To think I was worried about Bachmann and her “Pray the Gay Away” husband Marcus.
Santorum hates women, he hates gay people, and he’d like nothing better than to shove his Bible down our throats and choke us with it. The fact that he’s friends with these Duggar people says a lot. Santorum should be running for office in Afghanistan, I’m sure the Taliban would happily recognize him as one of their own.
I’ll go with the Constitution on this, and repeat SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE.
So very well said!
I vote to deport Santorum for his un-American behavior and have him run for the Taliban.
Thank you, I think the majority of people in the United States feel the same way. These people are as much of a cult as Scientologists. Teabaggers, beware, we’re all getting a little tired of your shite.
Don’t understand how you can be against the pill, and against social aide? Wouldn’t having kids without the proper financial means, forces people to ask for governmental help? *shakes head*.
Totally agree Maguita! I have never understood how religious conservatives can be so anti birth control, yet they refuse to make provisions for those “sacred” lives once they are here?!?!?
Its not only Santorum, a lot of the Republican party have the same beliefs. Republican lead legislatures in certain states from Virginia to Pennsylvania are trying to pass very conservatives laws against women. Controlling birth control and forcing ultrasounds & vaginal exams on women seeking reproductive care or abortions. These people are religious zealots and America needs to wake up to the laws they are already trying to pass. They seriously want a world where women are constantly pregnant, dominated by men, with subdued sexuality. Reminds of the Handmaids Tale by Atwood.
I was JUST about to make that same comparison to the Handmaid’s Tale by Atwood. I keep it and read it every so often as a cautionary tale. Anyone who thinks it can never really happen is burying their head in the sand. Scary stuff!
ugh stop talking and disappear.
Yeah that woman is emancipated she don’t have a mind of her own. He just want her vagina to procreate cuz a man who cares for you won’t let you go trhu all those pregnancies and everything that comes with that. They remind me a cult or something it’s sick and it’s even more sick the fact they have a show and they’re getting paid for it.
I’m all for reproductive choice, so I can’t criticize her choice. However, that doesn’t mean I have to listen to her opinions. STFU, Michelle, and tell Jim Bob to do the same.
They are as f*cked up as Scientology. Brainwashed indeed. And America gives them a TV show! SICK!!!
Wow, I can’t believe people still think like this. What a brainwashed idiot. Fine, if you think you are inferior to your husband, but don’t tell other women how they should behave. Some of us actually like to have our own identity ever since women literally died to provide us with some basic rights.
Bingo. If Michelle actually wants to believe and follow that ridiculous lifestyle, and it really makes her and her husband happy and fulfilled in their marriage, then go right ahead.
Every relationship has different dynamics, and you can’t use one example as a go-to system for everyone, it’s preposterous.
To say that God works through the man in a relationship is the most sexist thing I’ve heard, and I’m very right wing and not prone to getting up in arms over politically incorrect statements.
Some couples are lead by the man, some by the woman, some are 50-50, and some fall in between. If it works for the couple and they’re both satisfied, then who cares who’s “in charge”?
She’s obviously an idiotic bimbo who does the vacant double-blink and “yes dear” whenever Jimbo passes along instructions, so why would ANYONE listen to her advice? Shut up!
This is what’s bothering me about the Republican Party lately, it has put forward candidates that not only want to police the Democrats do in their personal lives, they believe that the government should have the right to make moral decisions for you and for your family. Adults can do that for themselves, thanks. I don’t need Rick Santorum telling me what medicines make me a bad person or how to shape my marriage. I got it.
You are correct. She is brainwashed. I’ll take it a step further- I think she is severely emotionally abused. She is controlled by this man down to every detail. She is putting her body through excruciating pain of 18-19 childbirths for this man’s ideology which she now espouses as her own. She is sadly so far deep in his clutches and he seems like a sick man to expect this of his wife. The Duggars are stomach turning- not just because they want a large family, but the other dynamics that are in play. They should NOT have a reality show to witness this mess and a platform to speak on. I wonder if the reality show is cancelled will they continue to push (no pun intended!) for a 20th baby.
You said it to a T, NYCGAL.
I think you’re right about that. The baby thing is one thing, but when she’s saying shit like this, I think she’s got something seriously wrong with her.
Thank you Mourning The Death!
Hi Emily- I hear you!
Maybe that is the way that you like to live, but not me and my family. A marriage should be a equal partnership. With both the husband and wife having equal responsibilites in it. A husband should have to answer to the wife as well. An equal share in the family decision making. If my husband is wrong I am going to tell him. Just like he tells me if he feels I am wrong. I am not going to go along with his decisions just because he is the man. My marriage has lasted 20 years and works well this way. If you want to live that way, more power to you. But there has been way to many wars in mans history of running things to prove that being a male does not always make you wiser.
Exactly.
Couldn’t of said it any better myself.
Well said Cathy! My dh and I will be celebrating our 24th anniversary in April and we are partners and listen to each other. When I think he’s wrong I tell him and vice versa.
The Duggars view of women really bothers me. It’s like they see women as children unable to take care of themselves or make their decisions. Everything is about pleasing the male. What about those grown daughters? I feel like they don’t really have the choices they deserve. They say they support their kids in what they want to do, but when the females are all brainwashed to be baby-making subservient man-pleasers it’s hard to see them even being aware of the possibilities out there in life!
People praise them and I see people saying how great their family is and how well behaved the kids are and that is how all families should be, but are they really looking at the realities of what those kids have. How much time do they really get with their parents? How well do the parents really know each child? They are so isolated from the world and so sheltered…they are only allowed to see what their parents want them to see and only allowed to associate with others like themselves. Are their parents really preparing them for the 21st century and the world out there?
I understand wanting to protect your kids, but what about trusting them in the real world and allowing them the freedom to see what’s out there. It’s hard to have choices if you aren’t allowed to see anything other than one way.
Plus Jim Bob just gives me the creeps. Something is off about that guy imo.
I totally agree. There is something way off in Jim Bob’s creepy smile. He gives me the willies.
Personally, I agree with you. I don’t know if every marriage needs to be exactly 50-50 in all ways, but it should definitely be a mix of both partners sharing responsibilities and input.
I’ve seen many other marriages work quite well where the man is obviously more of the leader, but I don’t mean he just Jimbo Duggar’s his way through the marriage. My parents have been married over 30 years, and my dad is the loud, bossy, brilliant (seriously, he’s very smart), I am man hear me roar type of asshole (but loving) husband, and my mother is much more of an in the kitchen tending to everyone doormat type of wife. And it works for them. She certainly speaks up and opposes him when she feels it necessary, but he has probably 80-90% of control in the relationship and homelife. They’re both totally happy, in love, and there is never abuse of any sort between the two of them.
My opinion is that I would go nuts with a domineering husband, but my personality is SO much different than my mum’s. And they have been together for 40-some years without incident, so who am I to comment? They NEVER pull a Michelle Duggar and try to tell me that that’s how my husband and I should do things.
So, to each their own, and if Michelle Duggar likes her life, then whoop de doo, but STFU, lady, and stop imposing your outdated religious fiction on others.
Interestingly, studies have shown that happy marriages tend to be those where the husband does what the wife says. 🙂
One of the (many) things that I think is wrong with ideas like this is the pressure it puts on the guy. He takes all the blame, all the responsibility, and doesn’t have an equal partner? That’s not fair for the women, but it’s not fair for the man either.
B’awwwwwww! If I left stuff up to my husband..nothing would get done. She lives in a fantasy land.
Also…her way sounds like a good recipe for abuse.
Not on my life.
Also,babies are not always a blessing.
Sorry to say.
“If I left stuff up to my husband..nothing would get done.”
That’s pretty sad, actually.
I agree with you on the babies bit. There are Quiverfull people out there who honestly think that any contraception, even the rhythm method or abstinence, is the same as abortion.
*shakes head*
I don’t think it’s “sad” at all… I’m sure she doesn’t mean nothing at ALL would ever get done, bc no human being is that useless.
My husband needs some gentle direction and suggestion from me if I want things to get done. He can dress himself and wash himself and do regular guy things, but it doesn’t usually occur to him to do a load of dishes until I ask him to. He’s just scatterbrained, and I didn’t marry him for his expert organizational skills — that’s what he has me for. We balance each other out quite well, for what I lack, he is good at, and vice versa.
It’s not sad, just the way it is sometimes. My husband is that way too. Works for us because I am a control freak. I’d rather get stuff done myself because if it’s not done, I can’t blame anyone else.
Well, stuff would get done but it would be useless crap. My husband could last a day, maybe a week, we would be struggling after a month.
Michelle, a man needs a wife who will be his equal parter, and doesn’t have a clown car uterus.
OMG – clown car uterus! That made coffee spew from my nose.
“Clown car uterus”… the BEST line ever!
Completely agree about being partners. Do men really want another thing in their lives they have to give constant direction too? I mean, I know there are controlling people out there who want to be in control of everything their significant other does, but ugh. I’m so glad my boyfriend sees our relationship the way I do: A PARTNERSHIP where we always have each others backs.
Whatever happened to equality in a partnership? 🙁
My understanding is that God made, in order – light, firmament, earth & sea, sun & moon, living creatures, man and then woman.
Since the female was his final, ultimate, looked-at-man-and-fixed-everything-that-was-so-glaringly-faulty creation, surely Biblically-speaking Jim Bob should be HER bitch?
Just saying!
Good point.
Hahahahaha, hilarious!
Not to be “that” person, but unfortunately, the bible reads more as “man was perfect, but lonely, so God created woman to keep him company” type of thing. That’s how I always understood it. I never interpreted it as “woman was created to serve man and nothing else”, but I guess these religious male figureheads like to spin everything for their own benefit, which means man is the shit and woman is there to do his bidding. Dumb.
Actually some of the very earliest Bibles don’t specify which gender came first. It was only after patriarchal society really took over that it was specified.
Hate them more with everything they say and do. they are backwards, nuf said.
I am one to let other people live as they wish (within reason) … but seriously, did Jim Bob let her walk out of that house with that purse?
and that perm with the flat ironed bangs…so painful to watch. *cringe*
Not gonna lie–I came here to look close at her latest installment of home perm trauma. I choose to ignore both their politics and their horrible views imo on reproductive rights. What I absolutely cannot ignore if that home perm and those claw bangs! Seriously. It makes me cringe, and she knows it too, or she wouldn’t have said ‘explain your hair style to others.’ What person just thinks to add that in their discourse about women’s gender roles in their idea of a religious union, unless they knew said hair style was terrible?
They also look like brother and sister. And now I’m done here. *disgruntled sigh*
If Michelle wants to walk around sporting that ridiculous hairstyle “because her husband likes it”, that’s her decision – she married the guy and chose a marriage where the man dictates her hairdo.
However, forcing their daughters to do the same thing is sick, wrong, and undue punishment. I saw an episode where one of them, Jinger or Jessa I think, explained that they all have home perms because “our Dad likes it”.
I cringed in all parts of my body when I heard that. I can understand maybe not shaving your head because it would disturb your father, but playing matchy-match with his wife in the hair department? GROSS!
It severely disturbs me that the daughters have to conform to their dads idea of attractiveness. Why does he need to find them attractive…? it makes my skin crawl and just feels wrong.
Yes, that horrid bag is the real story here.
this means going back 100 years into women rights, where we didn’t have any. i feel sick right now, after reading this i think some women are dumb and they shouldn’t be allowed to speak to magazine or tv shows. just STFU.
And even a hundred years ago suffragettes were fighting against it all.
Have met some of those people with kids and they give way more opportunities to their sons to learn and develop themselves.
The girls are not even allowed on the internet, while the boys can do whatever they want on it.
Strange then if the girls later have no sufficient computer skills when they try to find a job, eh?! And their husbands then smiling smugly, saying women don’t have what it takes to work.
Too CREEPY for words…
Also can’t believe these simple-minded fools are being paid for anything.
Her vagina seems more interesting than what she has to say.
I’m guessing Jim-Bob feels that way as well. leaves me shuddering.
And a wife needs a husband that will treat her as an equal in the home Michelle. It is the 21st century, not the 1st, time to buck up and accept some responsibility for yourself and your children. It must be so easy to simply NOT think and let Jim Bob make all the decisions, how boring for him, even if he is the control freak I think he is. Grow a spine Michelle, read some books and do some critical thinking of your own before you die trying to make one more baby for Jim Bob’s ego.
Exactly this.
Exactly this twice.
tru dat
1st century Roman women had more indepency of thought than this idiot. So did 1st century Persian women for that matter.
Oh, my. I have friends married to men who have made very poor decisions for the family and thankfully they are strong women who stand up and challenge such poor decisions by their husbands.
No man will ever govern me. What a term.
If there were a god, I’m pretty sure s/he’d be much too busy creating natural disasters and stirring up man-made ones, wreaking havoc with the economy, that s/he’d find the time to give my husband anything, much less advice, nor say something about babies, especially not in the way those fundamentalist think s/he did.
Why religious extremists of any kind are given a platform in this day and age is something I don’t get and never will.
Blah blah blah, antiquated backsliding, blah blah blah, vagina the size of the Hoover dam, blah blah blah, kids raising kids, blah blah blah…
That’s all I heard?
“Hoover dam”. MUAHAHAHA!
Overall I don’t hate on the Duggars, but lately I am thinking they are starting to give normal Christians a bad name.
I hear ya, but they are NOT normal Christians.
It’s sad though that these values are still being reinforced in some of the more “fundamental” churches. In college I was in a bible study and I remember reading a Joyce Meyer book that spoke of what a “godly wife” is – picked up the house before her husband came home, spruced herself up a little, was subservient to him, etc.
I don’t know about Jim Bob, but my marriage wouldn’t work if we acted that way. My marriage works because my husband & I work together as a team & strengthen each other. Michelle needs to pull her head out of Jim Bob’s a**.
And what kind of name is Jim Bob anyways??
I read a book like that once, too. Something about A Woman After God’s Own Heart or something like that, and it was all about making sure you look nice when he gets home, make sure the table is set for dinner, he always has the final decision, blah blah blah. And I asked my husband, “Is this what you’d like? Would you like me to be more like this?” And he said, “No, I married you because of YOU and who you are, and you are not that woman and I don’t want that woman.”
So if I’m following God’s command to be the woman my husband wants me to be, then just being myself is enough. I AM being the woman my husband wants. I don’t have to have the floor swept by 4 pm to prove it.
We do not believe that babies are a bother, a headache or a financial drainer or a career interrupter.
No, you have now decided to use your uterus as a money maker. These people are revolting.
i know, seriously. making money off of the viewers if their show (who are those people?) is a way to make money off of their kids. self-righteous douches.
Unfortunately, not everyone is as financially successful as the Duggars. I don’t have kids because I’m not prepared for them. My husband is still in school and we’re not in a position to bring extra financial responsibilities into our life, such as kids, cars, vacations, etc. What WOULD be irresponsible, selfish, and backwards would be to just abandon our birth control and bring children into the world who are not happily welcomed and wanted, and whom we would be unable to care for adequately.
Not everyone wants to devote their lives to having a mess of children, and to be made to feel badly because you’re not opening up your uterus 24/7 to God and your husband is more of a reflection on the idiot who’s suggesting it than the woman who chooses for herself.
Completely agree with you 100%!!!!!!!
Glad there are people like you. You are responsible and doing the right thing.
Not like one of those idiots who get pregnant to keep ‘their man’ and then have the state pay for the baby, when he flees.
well when your career is as a brood mare, of course you don’t think having children can interrupt your career of course most working moms actually take care of their own kids and don’t outsource the parenting part of motherhood to their daughters so they can focus on putting a new one in the oven
the fact that he still goes by ‘jim bob’ tells all. it’s fine when you are little but as an adult using the double first names? i just hope all those ‘duplicates’ they have created don’t think like the parents ! there SHOULD be a limit
Michelle there is nothing appealing about your life to 99.99% of the country we don’t want or need your advice on marriage since you are living out a nightmare scenario.
Thank you!
This makes me want to scream. Especially as I’m a conservative Christian myself. And yes, my husband is the boss at home.
But that’s more because it works for us. I tend to be “on” all day at work, and it’s a relief to let someone else deal with all the rubbish on the domestic front. It doesn’t mean letting him walk over me.
It’s just that (1) I dislike and distrust people who put their marriage tips forward like that and (2) it makes Christian marriage sound like a lifetime of drudgery. It may be like that for the Duggars, but not for everyone.
if it makes you feel any better, I’m a liberal Jew and I’m a total bottom at home because I am the boss at work and there are just times I want somebody else to make a friggen decision
She forget one:
*Have as many children as possible. It’s not as hard as you might think! Remember, about 50% will be girls. Feel free to destroy their childhoods by making them care for & clean up after their younger siblings. Discouraging higher ed/job skills for girls = cutting off potential avenues of escape, should they throw off your brainwashing and start doing crazy, satanic things, like “choosing for themselves” or “making their own decisions”.
Since your older daughters/unpaid domestic servants will essentially be raising your kids, you’ll have plenty of time to lecture less godly women about how they, too, can have submissive hair & be the chicest doormat at the next cult meeting, er, family dinner.
Submissive hair.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
If you replace the words “husband” and “wife” with two specific others, this entire thing reads like a master/slave arrangement…
That really gave me chills. This is nothing less than self-hating slavery. I know women who practice this and insodoing do such a great disservice to the world. How can these women be happy to teach their daughters that their voice and opinions and ideas simply are less important than their sons? People think this is some kind of pillar of Christianity, though, they really do. To the extent that this is correct, then it is a legacy of Christianity that real Christians should ignore. This attitude has allowed men to shape the policies of our corporations, our governments and our banks for hundreds of years and as a result, look at what a penis-shaped mess we are in. Ceding control of your life to another is not a virtue! It is slavery where you make your own chains.
“penis-shaped mess” – LMAO! Best line of the day!
Yay!
“Penis-shaped mess,” just going to tell you, I’musing it in a future conversation, perfect description 🙂
Bitch is spun…….that’s all I have to say.
How very 1850’s of her.
Is she serious?
They aren’t the only ones that believe that stupid crap. I married into a Mormon family without knowing exactly what I was getting into. The first month of my marriage when we went to visit his family, my mother in law took me aside and explained to me that my job was to allow my husband to make all the decisions and to follow them. Also I had to fulfill his every wish and wimsy, and give him as many babies as he wanted because that was my Godly dutty. I kindly thanked her for her advise and told her that while that worked for her and her daughters, it wasn’t going to work for us. I then told her that when we make decisions, we make them together and I am not his servant or slave I am his wife therefore equal partner. I also explained how I didn’t believe in a having a hoard of kids we would have one child at most two but not till I was good and ready to give my vagina and body to the process of baby making. Needless to say she has not liked me very much since then and we barely see each other. I just don’t understand how people can have such backwards thinking.
Good for you!!!
at last, real details about their beliefs are coming into the light. all this has been hidden, more or less, so they could have a hit tv show and appeal to a wider audience.
im glad this is finally being exposed.
what backward, destructive beliefs. ugh.
At first I thought the first sentence said crotch instead of notch and both Duggars look like they just done some whippits in the back room.
hahahaha! awesome.
Ugh. This is just a pathetic publicity stunt. Apparenty the fetus funeral (gross) didn’t get them the attention they wanted.
God gave her a brain. I bet he’s pissed off she turned it off and let it go soft just because she’s dickmatized.
I always wondered what God thinks of people who are given free will and the ability to make decisions, being the ONLY living being on the planet able to reason and rationalize their decisions, and instead they choose to act like zombies and coast through life on a man-made book of instructions (“the Bible”) that the Creator supposedly dictated… why would any God bother telling us “make your own choices” and then fire off a manual on how to do that?
Seems kind of redundant.
well, not surprising from freaks who have 19 children, want more, and use the woman as basically a baby carrier and not much else. hope both they and santorum choke on their hateful rhetoric.
Jim Bob can go choke on Santorum (and I’m not talking about Rick) 😜
Hahaha! You gotta love Dan Savage for that one.
And, MDID, this is totally OT, but with all the Whitney funeral coverage this weekend, I started to wonder. Why do we embalm people? You’re the only mortician I “know”, so thought I’d ask.
@Bluhare, the best answer isn’t the simplest. It was done for different reasons. For religious purposes in Ancient Egypt. Then, much later, for purposes of preservation when a body had to travel great distances to be returned to loved ones. Egyptians believed you took everything with you to the afterlife, including the physical body. So they preserved it through mummification. Mummification (the earliest form of embalming) helped to inhibit the process of decomposition via removal of water (desiccation). Modern day embalming inhibits decomposition via killing bacteria that causes decomposition through use of chemicals. Embalming became the preferred method of preservation and was quite popular during the civil war when hundreds of thousands of soldiers were killed in battle. Embalming allowed the soldier to be transported long distances and remain viewable for loved ones, who could bury them at home. Even Abraham Lincoln was embalmed and transported by train. His body was viewed at several stops in several different states. Modern day embalming (using formalin-formaldehyde and water) does a great job of preserving the lifelike appearance of the body. Seeing your loved one in a “natural” or lifelike state is thought to help with the grieving process. Of course I’m speaking very generally here, considering certain people(Jewish and Muslims for example), do not believe in embalming because it involves removal of blood and other tissues (which these faiths believe should remain in the body). I hope this answers your question. I’m happy to answer anything you may want to ask 😄
The way she talks doesn’t even make sense. I had to read the headline like three times before I understood what she was talking about (not that I agree with it).
“In a different family dynamic where the man is abusive, her advice could be quite harmful.”
I’m thinking Michelle and her daughters are living a form of abuse.
I feel the same way about polygamous marriages. Every time that subject comes up, some people start in with “if they like it, it’s okay”, etc. I don’t agree, unless the women are taking more than one husband (and even that I personally think is revolting). I think polygamy exploits women and often teenage girls. I can’t even watch that TLC show about those idiots who are polygamists.
@jc, I’m with you. FLDS polygamists exploit women and children. Even the boys (who they drive out of the compounds so the elders can have all the young girls to themselves). They further exploit their youth by keeping their children ignorant via special FLDS home schooling programs (much like the Duggar program). After all, if they are brainwashed, they can be kept compliant. They exploit the social system when they allow their families to balloon to ridiculous proportions, making it difficult to support all those children without public assistance. “Banking on Heaven,” a documentary about the FLDS under Jeffs’ leadership claimed the FLDS collects food stamps and other forms of public assistance because many of the women technically are still single. Former Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard said 80% of the FLDS members are on welfare and more than 4,000 of them have state medical insurance access (which cost Arizona around 30 million dollars a year). The Utah governor said something similar. ITA with you. Men who choose this lifestyle appear to be selfish, ego-maniacal mysoginists and the women who marry them servile lost souls.
At the VERY least, the TLC polygamist show has the teenagers with attitudes who are clearly questioning their lives, family, and upbringing. They aren’t dead in the brain and shuffling along doing their Daddy’s bidding and blindly, ignorantly following in the family’s footsteps.
I’m not a fan of the family or the show, but the kids aren’t zombie-fied and acting like little military recruits saluting Mormonism without question and 100% trusting every bit to crap that comes out of their parents’ mouths.
The Duggar children should take notes… oh wait, they’re not allowed to watch TV, I forgot. *Eye roll*
“””I hope that in practice this isn’t actually how this woman lives. In a different family dynamic where the man is abusive, her advice could be quite harmful.””
Oh, I believe this is *exactly* how she lives. And I bet I know what she’d say if a woman followed this advice and was abused by her husband – it would be to pray and to accept and to love and to try and be more of what your husband, aka God, wants you to be. It’s the wife’s cross to bear, blah, blah, blah.
Sick, sick, sick. I hope the next jumbo-family knocks these freaks out of the headlines and off of television. I shudder to think of how many women (and men) see their show and think ‘hey, that sounds like a good idea.’ Ugh.
I actually believe she is doing this for the ratings, as CB suggested. She knows her time might be running out.
Some of us might be fooled by her pious, Godly mum and wife routine but the majority of us know she can play the reality game just as well as the “deviants” out there.
Jesus Christ. This whole thing reads like one f–ked up, abusive contract with lots of Christianity and S&M combined. I doubt she’s allowed a safeword.
This is just disturbing, and since it’s coming alongside this current “war” on birth control, abortion, and the GOP’s general attempts to set women back about 75 years, I can’t help but feel very vulnerable due to my gender these days. Why is my vagina being placed under such scrutiny? You don’t think I know how to live with it and how to take care of it?!
I read up on the Quiverfull movement (even though they claim not to follow it…uh….they totally follow it) and its just disgusting how women are treated. Plus, Jim Bob is like, neanderthal stupid (OH WAIT THOSE DON’T EXIST BECAUSE THE WORLD WAS CREATED 6000 YEARS AGO AND PEOPLE HUNG OUT WITH DINOSAURS. MY BAD)and its obvious to anyone that sees him that he completely depends on everybody else’s help but that he gets all the credit. But he’s just stupid, think of all the cruel and abusive men that get to prey upon women in Michele Duggar’s scenario of marriage.
So I watched the episode where this was on and what was funny was in the beginning of the episode, Michele was a little passive aggressive towards Jim Bob. Jim Bob was supposed to wake up early to watch the kids while she and the girls went to the bible meeting and she keeps saying in like a submissive sing song voice, “You said you would be awake at this time. And that’s what you said. You said you would be awake to babysit the kids.”
Its like she COULDN’T says the words to accuse him of anything. Just once she should go, “Hey, wake the f*ck up. I gotta go teach some girls how to hate themselves for men.”
Passive aggressive is exactly it. I mean, that comment about her hair is a perfect example: She says she hates her hair and wants to change it and is embarrassed by it, but she is doing it for her husband. Subtext= I cannot “own” even my own hairstyle and I am furious about it. I have a close relative with similar beliefs to this and the anger these women swallow because in their conscious minds they must always be “nice” is actually amazing. They find their ways to be vicious, though, they are just blind to them.
this whole post made me chuckle. well done.
I agree, that whole post is some funny shiz. I espcially like the fact that they call it ‘babysitting’ when he watches the kids. Hello, they are YOUR kids, Dad. It is called PARENTING, not babysitting. But I am sure he does it so rarely (without the help of his servant daughters) that it probably IS like babysitting to him. God.
THIS!! A man cannot babysit his own children. He PARENTS his children. It drives me bonkers when people talk about dads “babysitting” their children. My husband will never babysit our son, he cares for him the way I do… or close to it, lol!
That’s funny. I don’t think MD’s ever actually opened her bible, because if I recall correctly, it’s full of kick-ass women who were often more intelligent than their spouses. Growing up, I remember my mom always pointing out these women, including Sarah, whose husband Abraham was admonished on more than one occasion by his God to listen to her because she knew what she was talking about.
And that hair has GOT to go!
Well it’s just all about Jim-Bob isn’t it?
I’m not a religious person, but I really feel strongly that a marriage should be an equal partnership. Why is she saying this? It’s like the feminist movement never happened. This is really scary. My husband is my equal, my partner. He does not tell me what to do, nor define my responsibilities. Women should never be made to feel inferior to men. This is why I am not a big fan of religion, because it seems to make stuff like this ok, and it’s not ok.
Am I the only woman who becomes furious when reading this?
I pity any women dumb enough to buy into following a “religion” that requires them to be a submissive breeder and nothing more.
No. It really, really makes me angry and disgusted.
As for the questions about “is this some kind of BDSM thing” – no way. This all religious fanaticism. If they just had some kinky sex thing going on, they would’t tell the world. Not these two.
It pissed me off too. I am a Christian, but I think we have done a great BIG job of complicating the teaching of Christ with a bunch of biblical laws that really have nothing to do with modern Christianity, but rather reflected the societal mores of the day. I don’t think Jesus would be down with women being dictated to by their husbands – everyone was equal in his eyes. This kind of clap trap is dangerous because it preys on women who are in vulnerable situations and think this is the right way to go about being a good Christian wife.
Exactly. It’s the Pharisee way of living.
I’m not a devout Christian – mostly because I don’t like “Christians”. The word has become almost perverted to the point where it means only Fundy/Evangelical/Bible Literalists.
Other than my not being a “Christian” I think I’m a reasonably good Christian. Other than birth control, I don’t break any of Santorum’s rules as far as I know. Well, there is premarital sex but compared to his wife I’m a saint (at least I didn’t sell my self for new teeth) and I do not sleep around.
I’m getting quite sick of the perversion of the word “Christian” and thanks to Santorum now the word “Catholic” has become an epithet or at best a joke.
It’s almost the same as what happened to the word “feminist” Younger women (under 50 at this point) aren’t “feminists” because we don’t want to be seen as man haters who think consensual sex with a man is rape and that fish need bicycles.
I want to take our words back.
ZenBitch: hell yes! I’ve been a feminist since the third grade. I think we need to be far more explicit about our beliefs, especially now that basic human rights, like contraception, are under attack and fringe thoughts, like Quiverfull and Christian Reconstructionism, are becoming bewilderingly acceptable!
Hey if she feels that way then more power to her. I just hope they understand others are not gonna drink that koolaid.
I have no problem with a husband leading, as long as I’m leading right the hell with him.
And the Bible makes it pretty clear that marriage is about unity and acting as ONE. Both partners are supposed to be equal.
I wish people would stop picking and choosing what to promote and what not to promote about the WORD. Read the entire bible and stop trying make things fit your interpretation. Like seriously, they don’t represent any Christians I know.
I remember when their oldest son got married and in the ceremony they said something about how she is given from the authority of the father over her to the authority of the husband over her…like she’s not a person but an object that is owned. That creeped me out!
Add to the fact that in their religion they can’t even hold hands until they are engaged and so marry barely knowing the person…it’s a recipe for a lot of women trapped into a situation that could be very abusive. I’m not saying every marriage in their belief system would be overtly abusive, but I am willing to be that many are…a lot of men, told they are the ultimate power and authority over the wife and household would buy into that and be all ego about it, especially if they are insecure themselves. Add some natural bad temper and immaturity…recipe for disaster.
I wouldn’t mind it so much if she just kept that herself and didn’t tell everyone woman how to act in a relationship. Maybe she likes the roles to be like this in her relationship, whatever, our opinions and discussions are not going to change that. I just don’t like that its “you should never do this…you must always do this”. Girl please, I will do as I want and what works for my relationship, no matter what if God is mad about it or not.
BDSM?
Bondage/Sado-Masochism. From the Marquis of Sade.
UGH! GASP!
These are the type of people who are voting for Rickie Santorum. These GOP gestapo nut jobs want women to stay home and get barefoot and pregnant.
Sorry, but this is the exact attitude that not only continues to divide people, but also spreads misinformation. Rick Santorum is obviously the most conservative of the candidates (one I don’t happen to support or share beliefs with), but not ALL GOP candidates share his more extreme views, and to suggest otherwise is simply lying. It IS possible to want SMALLER government, LESS government control and REDUCED debt, without having extreme views about women, gay people and abortion. Please don’t lump everyone together… if that is the case, then those who support the ‘left’ all stand with the likes of Maxine Waters and those that spout hate and and disrespect of anyone who doesn’t agree with them every time they open their mouths.
Oh, this is quite true. Sadly, this being primary season, they don’t get listened to very much.
That might be, but the GOP caters to these lunatics as well.
So they are not blameless. That’s the problem with having two parties; too many people squeezing under the same umbrella.
And Barack loves us so much he caved to the Catholic Church even though Catholics supported him on this issue.
I’m an Independent – Barack is why I am no longer a Democrat. His caving to right wing nuts on abortion in his healthcare plan was the last straw for me.
Yes, Santorum is nuts but that is not a GOP thing it’s an Evangelical thing because no Catholic I know is against amnios and ultrasounds for pregnant women. The only other so called Catholic I “know” who attends Latin Mass is Mel Gibson. If the shoe fits…
#teamMitt
Whatever happened to equality? Treat your spouse with love, respect, courtesy and kindness – just like you would expect to be treated.
Sadly, this family is part of the ‘quiverfull’ movement… among other things, they believe that gender equality goes against ‘God’s law’ and that women should submit to their husbands in every way. );
EVERY way? *shudder*
I bet she lets Jim Bob “correct” her attidude with a good spanking, once in a while, like any good, submissive wife. I wish her and her bangs much luck in the land of Jim Bob worship. If my husband forced me to sport this hairstyle on national TV, I’d cut his balls on camera.
Hi
So this is her religious beliefs. And it is unpopular. Imagine on the Islam thread if I dared to mention what women are asked to do in that religion. So funny you people
I will tell you she would be considered very much a woman.
6. Yet being “fertile” is the most important quality a woman must have.
I have STRONG OPINIONS on Islam but I will leave it at that as I don’t want to be on the same list as Salman Rushdie.
The Bible ALSO says that a husband has the responsibility to love his wife as Christ loved His church, and to honor her as much as Christ honored His church; to be a responsible head of the family, as Christ was the head of His church; to be loving, kind, and a good steward.
Don’t make me get all biblical on your arses, Duggars! I’ll go there. I don’t want to, but I will.
Go get your bible on girl let em have it.
see below 😀
I don’t understand how you think that’s a “gotcha”? I’m sure they’d agree with everything you said about how a man should be as a husband. I’m sure they’d agree with every word. So what do you think you are refuting with this?
BEcause It isn’t ‘loving and kind’ to treat your wife like a servant, to force her to wear her hair in a way she herself finds unattractive and embarassing. Because it isn’t being a ‘good steward’ to place your wife’s health at risk in order to further your own obsession with having a crazy about of children – way beyond what is healthy for the woman or the baby. Because it isn’t loving or kind to point out your partner’s faults and it isn’t loving and kind to think that the man must be submitted to in all things.
LadyJane, I don’t know these people any more than you do. But from what I’ve seen of them, I don’t see how anyone is forcing Michelle Duggar to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
She seems very happy to me. The whole family seems happy to me.
IF it’s true that she fixes her hair a certain way because her husband likes it, so what? My husband likes long hair and he doesn’t want me to ever color it to cover the gray, so I keep mine long and natural. He doesn’t FORCE me to keep my hair long and he doesn’t threaten me to never color my grays. But I do it partly because I know he likes it. I’m not miserable with long graying hair – trapped in a terrible oppressive marriage where I have to keep my hair a certain way. I am happy to keep it this way because he likes it.
And I’m happy. Very happy. And so is my husband. It works for us. If you have a different marriage, or a different view of what marriage should be, fine. It doesn’t make me hate you. It doesn’t make me want to accuse you of trying to “force” people to live like you live. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why it makes folks so irate to hear the Duggars voice their beliefs on marriage.
that reminds me of this (and a quote I pull out often when people say “but its in the bible!”)
http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
Yes. And the quotes cited in that particular article are from the first 5 books of the Old Testament, the “Law” section, if you will. How about the New Testament?
Eph 5:22-33: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Bottom line is still “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Matt 7:1-2 (A lot of us may be in trouble with that one.)
And “Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; their foot shall slip in due time; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things to come hasten upon them.” Deut
32:35
And yes, I know Deut is Old Testament, in the “Law” section.
This makes me wonder,
If there is truly a God, and that God showed that Godly face…
And it tuned out to be a woman!
What would these people do!!! I get the feeling MD will be go get her whip.
They would twist it around somehow to justify oppressing women.
As men have always used religion to justify oppressing us.
Yeah… But why do we let them?
Because we rather fight between each other than band together and have the power. Just look at that unholy triangle, and how the readers are warring against each other on this site, the pro-AJ, and pro-JA, but not many are banding together, and blaming Brad Pitt! We keep on shooting ourselves in the foot.
And career women gotta stop wanting so badly to be one of the guys, and just promote the girls!
I think men take advantage of our hatred towards each other to break us up, and keep the power.
*shakes head*.
Thanks! I said somewhere below that JC was a lot more feminist than this but I couldn’t remember where. I prefer the Gospels to the Epistles so I can’t pull it out of a hat like I can with Matthew.
BTW: The New Testament is the best weapon to use against these people.
I found this article online a couple years ago. It supposedly appeared in Housekeeping Monthly in 1955. Snopes can’t verify if it is true and neither can I since I wasn’t born yet. Michelle’s comments immediately made me think of it. Some of the tips for being a good wife include:
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
And this one really made me cringe: Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Here is the link to the full article: http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm
If living in modern slavery makes Michelle happy, good for her but she needs to zip her lips (both sets IMO) and refrain from telling other women how they should conduct themselves in their own marriages.
…Be a little gay…..LOL
Now wouldn’t that be a surprise for Jim Bob. ;))
If you wrap kinky in Christ, it flies under the radar.
This is 24/7 power exchange shit. Take away the God part, and you will see similar thoughts and conversations on BDSM forums.
Michelle’s comments come out of the context of choice – a woman having the ability to choose submission or independence. It’s a very modern position, even if she’d like to think she’s being “traditional.”
Reminds me of the war against birth control, which is focused these days on unmarried young people. Conveniently ignoring the fact that Margaret Sanger was interested in providing birth control for MARRIED women, who were also the primary consumers of illegal abortions.
Women without choices don’t pontificate about kissing a man’s @ss.
The thing is it is easier, for some people, to let others think for you. It’s a convenient crutch for those who find it hard to take responsibility for their own actions or make those hard decisions we all are confronted with in life.
It is the same thing with their take on why they have so many children. They leave it in God’s hands, not really taking into consideration their other children or whether they can physically give each child the time they deserve. The older children are raising the younger children.
It is just irresponsible to consider another pregnancy when you are now high risk and have so many other children that need your time and attention. But, deciding to take responsibility for your reproduction would mean you would actually exercise free will and use your brain.
i’m so glad there are so many “trashy” commenters here! at least there is still hope we won’t all be forced to be as ignorant as this person pretending to be a “real” woman.
she’s the worst.
what if she had been infertile? she’d have needed to kill herself so her husband could find another uterus. can’t get a divorce! infertility to her = she’s not a whole, real, valuable woman.
what if her brain/jim bob were to pass away? how would she ever be able to make decisions or provide for her mini-army? wouldn’t she have to jump right in to a second marriage? what if this second husband isn’t as “wonderful” as jim bob? what if he’s only after her babies, tween and teenage children for sex? what if he’s an abusive asshole? what if he has an addiction? well, she’d be stuck praying god will give her the strength to bite her tongue and suck it up.
for someone so “christian” she’s sure one judgmental bitch.
ps god isn’t in need of women telling everyone within ear shot how and why their hairstyle makes them a good, valuable person. get a clue, duggar.
I don’t care what this woman has to say. I seriously question her mental capacity considering all the $h!t that comes out of her mouth. They both need to shut it, and go away, their’s is NOT a life I would aspire to, and I can’t believe that many would.
TLC is promoting this mental institution as a show, and I have refused to watch TLC for a few years now. I don’t care that the Duggars support their family, and are not on welfare, MANY other people do just that without having a litter of children.
I would not have such a strong stance on these people living as they wish, if Michelle, and Jim Bob would shut their traps, but they’re in my face, and her creepy vacant expression makes my skin crawl. Especially when she’s spouting off about how WOMEN should “behave”, with seemingly zero sense of what she’s actually saying.
What about women who are abused? Is it their fault because they aren’t submissive enough? If they would submit to a mans higher intelligence level, and innate knowledge of how women should act (!), would the bruises go away, and the children not be damaged for years to come? No, so STFU, go away, and take your Family Circus with you!
I hear you. TLC is the reason I canceled my cable. I didn’t want to lend any support to any network that would put Jon and Kate Plus 8 while they were splitting up.
That sounds like Confucianism – too general. It should really depend on the individual’s talent and abilities. I only watched early episodes including the house building and the grocery shopping eps and Jim Bob definitely came across as a man with a plan – he really is the leader of his family. I just hope Michelle didn’t really birth all those babies and that the early off camera ones happened with surrogacy or extended family adoption. That is way too similar to the Nazi plan for German women – to be constantly pregnant as duty. Read “Eve’s Tattoo.”
How oversexed is he?
Is that all they do?
yep. he’s just leading with his dick. i mean, sure seems that’s what (all) he has to offer, er lead with :/
I have always been surprised at how many people have been fooled by the candy coated presentation of these ATI/IFBLP cult members. These antiquated, misogynist suggestions on how to be a godly wife are the real Duggar’s. Their polite, ever cheerful children have been subjected to “blanket training” (look it up),have only received the most basic education and could never get into a real post secondary institution without extensive remedial education. Imagine what the Duggar girls have been spoon fed throughout their lives and what they have to look forward to. Marrying a man they barely know, who has been chosen and approved by Jim Bob, living under the “authority” of a male their entire lives and having even their hairstyle dictated to them by a man. What a nightmare. It is bad enough that the Duggar’s have these backward beliefs but the fact that they think everyone else should live like this is sick and scary.
Aren’t the daughters slaves – at least until they marry them off – which I am surprised they have not.
Yes the daughters (indentured servants or slaves is an equally good name for them) are learning to have “a servants heart”. They are obligated to serve their father’s “vision”. Even Grandma Duggar is now under her own son’s authority because her husband died. Those older girls have no chance of being handed over to their new leader (husband) until Jim Bob and Michelle know that every last egg of hers is dried up. Otherwise, who will cook, clean and parent the younger children? Certainly not Michelle and Jim Bob. I can’t even begin to express how disturbing I find the whole thing. Those girls are denied any possible future that does not include serving a man who is her “leader”,being prolific mothers and sporting insane looking hair and bangs as required by their husband.
My views are a lot like Michelle Duggar’s. I believe that the man should be the head of the household. If the husband is a Godly man, then there should be no problem. And wives are their husbands’ partners. They support each other and discuss things – but the husband is the one who actually leads the family.
Now in a marriage where the husband is not a Christian, this may not fly. Or in a marriage where the husband is an abusive man, it will not work. But the Bible gives us guidelines on how a Christian marriage should be.
That said, I am a career woman. My husband and I both work outside the home, and we have five children. And we have a very happy marriage.
I think that too many times nowadays marriage becomes a battle of the wills between husband and wife, and that’s not good. And I think that there is a growing trend in the entertainment industry to portray husbands as bumbling oafs who need their wives to tell them what to do and how to act. But I don’t think either of those scenarios is the recipe for a happy home.
But that’s my opinion. Your mileage may vary, and that’s fine. But just because the Duggars’ view of marriage isn’t the same as yours doesn’t mean that it’s backwards or stupid or demeaning to women everywhere. They are obviously happy, so it must work for them.
i feel like i just read something that was written in the 1950’s.
As I said below, I support a woman’s choice to live as she wants. I personally would make a terrible housewife and I would make a terrible head of the household (financially) because my field doesn’t earn enough to support more than one person.
My problem with the Duggars and the weird not normal so-called Catholics like Santorum is that I don’t see where the woman gets a choice or a say in anything.
My BFF is a Stay At Home Mom. This was not a choice she planned to make, she was a working mom when her son was born but by the time her daughter was born – day care and the way taxes are structured made it more economically feasible to stay home.
However, her husband always includes her in family decisions. Her job is at home , his it outside the home but they are equal.
For me its about choice and respect. I don’t see that here.
I believe that a husband and a wife are equal in a marriage but I also enjoy traditional marital roles too. I do the cleaning, laundry, cook breakfast, make him his lunch for work, and always have dinner ready by the time he’s home because WE enjoy it that way. I’m also college educated and a CPA working part time (hello tax season money!) I am in no way defending the duggars but I feel like society looks down on women who enjoy taking care of their families in the traditional way. (and I mean traditional as in NOT HAVING 20+ KIDS!) I wouldn’t trade a minute of my day for a “sex and the city” lifestyle that a lot of my peers at 26 are trying to emulate right now
ya, at 26 it may seem alright to you. let’s see how you feel after 20 years in this role.
I want to speak up to support you. It’s not a role I would take – I’m not domestic, I would kill my husband. LOL. However, I define feminism as letting women decide how they want to live their lives.
Samster
I don’t look down on you at all, you’re doing what you want to, and not being forced or told it’s what you should do, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s up to you and your husband to decide what works for you both, you’re a team. There’s no one “right” way to do anything, if you didn’t want to do what you do for your husband you wouldn’t. Plus you’re not pushing an agenda on anyone, or even saying anyone but you should live like you.
My grandparents had a very traditional marriage a lot like what you describe, and they were a team too. They loved each other very much, he treated my grandma with the utmost respect, and love. He worked 70 hour weeks, there were a couple of lean times my Gma had to take a night job, but they got through it.
Here’s the thing…Every morning my papa brought my grandma coffee in bed, it seems like such a small thing. It meant something to him though, even after retirement, even when an old injury started to make walking difficult for him, he’d still do it. He did it until he absolutely could not anymore, because he was gone…from all of us, and there was never one thing she regretted doing for him because he treated her the way he knew she deserved to be treated, without her ever having to ask…
So, Good Luck to you. BTW you’re NOTHING like the Duggars… 🙂
Sounds like you care for your husband through your domestic skills. I respect women like you. Think its healthy & nurturing if you do those things for your husband. However, I assume its a choice for you? There isn’t a choice for Michelle. Michelle’s father had the same beliefs, her husband has the same beliefs. She has passed down the same beliefs to her sons & daughters. Michelle is like a child that has been lead by the nose her whole life. Her importance in life is based on how many babies she can push out, her womb, subservient wife and teaching her children to do the same. She has never had equal footing. Read about the Quiverfull movement and try not to cringe. Choosing to be domestic is so very, very different than being told to do it.
Didn’t have time to read all of the comments, so I’m not sure if anyone has posted this. Crazy stuff…
The Duggar family, and those they associate with (the other large families that seem to share their values) are all a part of the ‘Quiverfull’ movement. It isn’t just about being ‘blessed’ with how ever many children God decides. It is about birthing ‘arrows’ to be used in ‘God’s Army’. They are anti-feminist, believing that gender equality is in contrast to ‘God’s law’. They believe that contraception or any sort of family planning is equivalent to abortion.
These are just few of their beliefs… google ‘quiverfull’ for more info.
Oh, and for those trying to make this about politics. There are obviously very ‘right’ groups, just as there are very ‘left’ groups. Let’s not go there. Rick Santorum is not the only Republican candidate… so let’s not spread mis-information, and generalize that ‘all’ of the GOP candidates share his beliefs. If we are going to start political bashing, there is plenty to go around, on BOTH sides.
Rick Santorum just bugs me (see my stand alone comment below). He reminds me of these people.
He is not like any Catholic I know and no, I am not a Democrat. I want Obama out as badly as Santorum does. I just would rather not have someone who thinks I am a blithering helpless idiot and who thinks I will go to hell for attending Mass in English* replace him (Obama isn’t all that feminist either, for the record).
*Santorum is almost MEL level weird Catholic. He’s not mainstream Catholic.
LOLOLOL “Guys, I understand my hairstyle is ridic. but listen, it’s about SUBMITTING to my husband… don’t you respect me now?!”
I do feel better knowing that hair was not approved by any woman (or gay man).
Being equal-opportunity I need to bring attention to his Brill Creme 1950s toupee-like hair style as well.
He has a lot to atone for when it comes to hair.
I am so happy that my boyfriend’s answers to any of those questions she asks would be ‘I don’t know. What do you think?’
Nothing surprising in her comments. They belong to that wacky religion so of course she’s going to come out with comments like this. It’s a given. And their following of Santorum is not a surprise either. Santorum won’t go far with his wanting to take away womens’ freedoms so no wonder the Duggars are in his camp.
NUTZO’S
So many theories and questions…. is she brainwashed? Does she really believe what she says? How can that be possible?
This is the problem when people take 2000 year old (or a 200 year old ) documents too literally. Aren’t they supposed to be ‘guidelines’?
This is really scary stuff, not that I take it in but that there are people who do!! Even JC himself must be having a eyeroll moment.
JC was more feminist that these people. I think these people get there ideas from the 6000 year old Old Testament
What is this, the 1950s?!?! So glad my parents did not stick to this BS! My dad cooks and it’s awesome because, well, my mom isn’t terrible but she isn’t great either. The kitchen is my dad’s Universe–you do not mess with it. My dad also picked me up from school every day, did my bun for ballet, dropped me off and picked me up to after school activities… was the soccer Dad while Mom worked late raking in the dough. I don’t mind the Duggars too much but they’re setting women back here about a century.
The bible was written by humans, men, after all, living in a patriachal society.
We women know that men are as flawed. Taking the as leaders, well, yeah, leadership, lime respect is earned. A marriage has two people in in, not a man ans a sheep to be herded.
Isnt is funny how the extremes touch sometimes? The extremists or fundamentalists of other religions have a lot in common with these other extremists. And they usually diminish women.
UGH! I might yack. This family creeps me out.
Honestly, I feel physically ill after reading that. Speechless!
What a stupid, sad woman.
o_O this is like some twisted Mad men spin off.
I get the same vibe from Rick Santorum. He bugs me because of his attitude toward women not because he is anti-choice or anti-BC – those are religious beliefs. The attitude that women are helpless and men are chivalrous – is just ridiculous – and not a requirement of any branch of Christianity that I am familiar with.
I was raised Catholic/Mainline Protestant so I am clueless about the Duggars’ Fundamentalist/Evangelical branch of Christianity.
before i even scrolled down i was stuck on “explain your hairstyle to others on the basis of your submission to your authority”, i was gearing up for a comment about her husband and the 80’s, but alas, you covered it for me…but seriously though, how would you explain “it” to others? It would be such a lugubrious process….”well. i. uh. dunno. ummmmm, ask him(?) uhhh, something…jesus?”
As what @Belle and @Zenb!tch said: Take note of their name badges – The Duggars and those alike are the heart and soul of Rick Santorum’s electoral fanbase. This should strike fear into your very core if you do not agree with their core values/goals. Vote. Vote. Vote.
This makes me sick to my stomach. I was raised by a mother much like that, and when I got married (just after turning 20) to man who was also raised by someone like this, it was hell. I actually continued to listen to my mother, and he treated me like that for 2 years. I have no idea how I got through it, but once we moved away from destructive personalities like theirs, our marriage improved dramatically. It’s still work, but my god, it’s better than it was…
@Flan “That might be, but the GOP caters to these lunatics as well.
So they are not blameless. That’s the problem with having two parties; too many people squeezing under the same umbrella.”
Many days I wish we’d have a something closer to a Parliamentary system, we basically have 1 1/2 parties try to be all things to all people and failing miserably at it.
I’ve seen that show a couple of times and to me it seems he adores her and what she says goes. I think she just makes him believe he is the leader because he is the moneymaker but she is the one that rules that household with her sweet gentle manner. Those kids are very well behaved, they are really a beautiful family.
“Machismo” starts withe the same letter “M” as mother, meaning women are usually the ones that educate the children to be that way, to live in a macho dominating life.
In my country, women in small towns and farms, not all of them, used to eat after the men, because they were serving, heatingbup the bread, etc. So they ate first, sisters would wash and iron for them, etc, even got beaten up by their brothers, not only dad.
Maybe that view was because the men used to be the ones working the field, so they came home tired, sunburnt, etc. Nowadays it is not that so kuch. Values have changed and women are not as submissive and also, they work out of home, thank God.
For me, to be dependent of a man for money is horrible.
Sorry but anyone that feels the need to continuously preach ‘beliefs’ like this has a very dark secret.
She is a mere sex slave to him. A body he chooses to use as he pleases. There is nothing “married” or “loving” about these two.
Mark my words one of the older kids will grow up to rebel and write a tell all book.
Two things…
1) There’s a lot of misandry going on here…
2) You are all willful participants in the consumerism that gives rise to the likes of the Duggars and the Kardashians and so on. You buy the gossip mags, you surf the gossip sites, you all contribute to this mess by giving these people the attention they so desperately seek.
My SO likes me strong and independent. He doesn’t want a doormat. Relationships are about two EQUALS. The Duggars are trash.
There is no such thing as a standard couple. Some men even looking for controlling women to lead theM. She talks like her conception of how wife and husband should functiun within a couple is a universally shared view.
True, the overwhelming majority of women around the world have the same conception as her and i will never fault them or look down on them. To each people their evolution.. We have been living under centuries of machistic culture UNIVERSALLY, a culture where men are like masters still prevalent in 80 % of the planet including in many economically developped countries.
But she is an american citizen, she is part of an overwhelming primally anglo saxon culture who has been the for front of women emancipation, advancement to get rid of the machistic component surrounding the traditional ‘couple’ conseption.
While she has a right to feel that way, she can’t talk like it’s the universally shAred view in the american society. She is going backwards from the culturally trend of the west led by her own country.
She should know better !
@Shamozzle- I’m with you. I can’t wait for a tell-all book from one of these kids in the next 20 years.
Maybe a couple of them!
Until then, I’ll just be puking in the corner at the thought of blinding obeying anyone.
“A husband needs a wife who will accept him as a leader in the bedroom.”
wonder how long it’ll be before we hear about a Jim Bob sex cheat scandal in the tabloids…..lol…bunch of self righteous fakes!
LOL I keep looking for a headline like that when I am checking out at the suprmarket. And just like his buddy Anal Froth Santorum, it will probably be a gay sex scandal.
So if he’s the “leader” in their marriage, the one she dimly follows without question, that means he’s also the one who decides Michelle should remain perma-preggo… Maybe God’s not to blame after all.
Bet she secretly HATES him.
No critical thinking allowed in that house, and especially not by the women. Sheesh. I want to grab the older girls and sneak them copies of Bust/Bitch Magazines, The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and Bikini Kill CDs. Oh, and point them towards scarleteen.com.
This “being totally deferential to your husband” makes me barf and is leaving those girls open to serious abuse in the future if they wind up marrying controlling a-holes. So, so sad.
this woman is beyond reasoning with. this idiot she is married to does not care about her health or future. by keeping her pregnant he is endangering her health. when this woman dies he will say it was Gods will and move on. just think how often this jerk has sex with her. it must be constant. religion is no reason to give up ones self to another. very sad
im waiting for the day we hear she snapped and kept those legs together and tells old jim bob if you touch me again im going to knock you the hell out
PUKE PUKE PUKE
I feel sorry for her.
If God really wanted women to be completely subservient to men, why did he give us our OWN minds? We could have just been brain stems programmed to say, “Yes, master” and “No, master”.
If she only had a brain.
Thought that straw hair looked familiar…
I feel it’s unfortunate to read an article and respond to something they have no revelation on. If they truly understood the bible and the heart of its message such comments wouldnt cause hiccups in your lives. Someone is always on the watch to bash them but the heart of what they do and why they do it is beautiful. I believe that people should pray 7that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. 18I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might 20which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. There is more then the duggars who hold this view. Even popular churches today
What if half of you tried applying biblical principles to your marriage. I know it changed mine. Something to consider
Well said, Jasmine. I know first hand that applying Biblical principles to marriage strengthens a marriage. Especially if both parties are united in doing so.
Yes, Michelle (and her supporters) this sounds perfectly reasonable, if you live in a cave with the Taliban under Sharia Law! The only thing she is missing is a burka.
This is sheer brainwashing and utter stupidity combined IMHO. But as this is america and she has decided to be oppressed and treated like a whippin bitch that is her choice, a stupid ass one in my opinion, but her choice… ooops I mean JimBobs choice.
Yes and the bible also has all sorts of commandments for the us men too – love, tenderness, and so on..
Just as well – as a man I don’t want anyone telling me how to treat my bitch, oppressing my freedom as man, to be faithful, provide for her needs, and shit. OPPRESSORS !
Marriage are better without rules, roles, or commandments.
I swear they are a cult!! 0.o who else would have 19 children.. with no tv and no pets! crazy ass fanatics
This is one scary couple, my wife and I have been married for 15 years and we are 50/50 on everything. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I had a vasectomy a few years back, so my wife could give up the pill, our insurance wouldn’t pay for them. I guess that is a no-no in the duggar/santorum camp. Funny how they don’t mention male contraception.
A husband needs a wife who will accept him as a leader – very true, no wife respects a husband who doesn’t — too bad wives try to act like men (masculine), it just makes them less of the woman (feminine) they are called to be