Honestly, I have dreamed of this moment for various (and completely professional) reasons, but I’m afraid that there is no appropriate reaction to the materialization of the above image. So let’s just talk about it in very casual terms. Tom Cruise covers the June issue of W magazine to promote his role as Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages, which we’ve already seen many glimpses of within its gloriously painful and truly awful trailers. In the past, I haven’t been terribly kind towards Tom’s portrayal of this washed-up rock star, but part of my own reaction is due to the fact that Tom appears to be trying much too hard. Stacee Jaxx is supposed to be a very ironic character, but it seems like Tom is taking the role much too seriously. Perhaps I’m misinterpreting things, so I’ll postpone final judgment on that note until after the film arrives in theaters.

So how about this W magazine cover? Underneath all of that eyeliner, Tom’s eyes look incredibly dead (perhaps Xenu stole them). And those tattoos? There is a gun pointed at his wang. And those chicks? There are two blondes fawning over him. I don’t know if we’re supposed to believe this character is the real deal or if we’re supposed to laugh. As for the inevitable interview, there is only the barest (much like Tom’s chest) excerpt (so far) with which we can play:

“I knew we had to push the sexuality because of the nature of the character and the songs. He’s singing, ‘I want to know what love is.'”

[From W magazine]

Oh that crazy Tom. He’s always pushing the artistic envelope and always so serious with the dancing and singing 10 hours per day to prepare for the role. But seriously, Tom is a 49-year-old man. If this were a woman, some people would call her pathetic for flaunting her body in such an unironic manner. So should we give Tom a free pass?

Photos courtesy of W mag and AllMoviePhoto