Kate Upton in tiered Louis Vuitton at amfAR gala: could anyone wear this dress?

Kate Upton

When I think about Kate Upton, I have to remind myself that she’s just 19 years old. I keep assuming that she’s in her mid 20s like most of the other bikini and lingerie models on the scene. Along with being very young, she’s used to wearing next to nothing for her job all day. She’s modeling bikinis, not clothes. Still, I’ve been astonished at how poorly dressed and styled she’s been on the red carpet. This is a woman with a figure to die for and gorgeous face. It doesn’t take much to make her look like a million bucks.

Kate Upton

Kate Upton

So here she is at the amfAR gala in tiered puffy Louis Vuitton with a black and blue ribbon criss-cross pattern. Um, I think I can see through the bottom part of the bodice to her foundation garments. Her bra is also peeping out of the top. Plus she’s paired it with very puffy hairstyle that seems to mirror the unwieldy skirt. You know what this reminds me of? One of those crochet toilet paper covers from the 70s. It’s just so bad. Even her shoes are unflattering. Get it together, girl.

Paris Hilton was also there for some reason, trying to work a long white gown with a see through side panel and a diamond pattern along the front. In some of these photos, I see some humor, gratitude and humility in Paris’ eyes. It’s like she knows she’s no longer hot sh*t and is glad she’s at a big event and getting her photo taken. I like this side of her a lot.

Then she falls back on her signature squinty haughty look and I see the same old Paris. Paris has overaccessorized with diamond and emerald earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. She should have gone with less jewelry.

On Paris’ level we have British Formula One Heiress Tamara Ecclestone in a ridiculous tiny lace and rhinestone mullet dress. Look at the way the trail ruffles up at the waistline. The top is partially see-through and I think I see her nip. To top it off she wore her giant fake hair on the side, and paired the look with gladiator heels. If you’re not familiar with who this is, Tamara is the sister of Petra Ecclestone, who just bought Candy Spelling’s massive home. Tamara has a home in West London worth $70 million, and is a fameho in her own right.

As a palette cleanser, let’s just have some Rodrigo Santoro. I’m usually not into scruffy guys, but he does it for me so much.

Imagine this face peeping out the bathroom door, telling you he’s ready to go out. *sigh*

photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

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53 Responses to “Kate Upton in tiered Louis Vuitton at amfAR gala: could anyone wear this dress?”

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  1. Maguita says:

    Santoroooooo, hot damn, that is one palate cleanser!

    Poor Kate, no matter her titled swimsuit cover, I think she still doesn’t get first, or even second pick at designer dresses. It’s like she has no choice but to take whatever the other models had leftover.

    • Tastykakes says:

      This one looks like it was left over from the 80′s. Maybe she thought it was fun, new and cute as she is too young to *remember* the 80′s.

      • Hakura says:

        She was a few years late to that party (the 80′s). She was born in the era of short-shorts, crop tops, rainbows on everything (not just gay-rights protests), & scrunchies. (otherwise known as my middle school experience).

        I wanted to say “Could’ve been worse”, but looking at this dress, I’m… not sure how. *shudder*

  2. cupidtyrox says:

    All hail the original godmother of all famehos Wonky McValtrex!!
    She looks like sh-t btw..

  3. OlsenTriplet says:

    It’s his eyes. They’re… soft. Friendly.

    But he seems to have a fivehead all of a sudden. Has he always had a fivehead?

  4. Cherry says:

    ´In some of these photos, I see some humor, gratitude and humility in Paris’ eyes.´
    We must be looking at a different set of photos??

    • Me says:

      I agree. She looks like less of a tard these days. She also looks healthy and vibrant. Her natural beauty is shininng through.

    • deep says:

      I agree Cherry..all I see when I look at Paris is the same ole “I think I’m something” Paris. Why is she there and why are they taking her picture? She needs to retire from posing and just go away!! She’s a has been and that’s for sure.

    • Eve says:

      I agree with Cherry. I see zero humility and gratitude in Hilton’s face.

      It’s just that, given the rise of the famewhores that came after (and because of) her success, she knows now nothing is about her anymore.

      That’s the look of defeat. Not humility.

      • Embee says:

        Right? She’s the godmother of the talentless, morally deficient fameho’s everywhere.

        The look in her eyes is “See what I have birthed? I am a LEGEND.”

        She says “legend” I say “scourge.” Whatevs.

  5. brin says:

    Trifecta of horrible dresses. Thank you for saving us with Rodrigo Santoro!

  6. Agnes says:

    all those dresses are quite awful. these women should either get stylists, or fire their stylists and get new ones.

  7. Marjalane says:

    Kate Upton has a great body, but I don’t know if there’s anything a stylist could do to make her not look cheap. There’s something about her that just looks cheap, and not very bright. Maybe in five years she can get with George Clooney and his stylists can work their miracles!

    • LizEJ says:

      I know. Something about her looks scream cheap mall girl. I wish people would stop calling her a supermodel. She’s a “lad-mag” model or a “glamour model” at best.

    • Eleonor says:

      I agree, in my opinion it’s because she has a gorgeous body with an ordinary face, plus she is not managed by someone particulary smart. I mean she was the cover girl on Sport Illustrated, and all she has got after that, was dancing, in the same bikini of SI, for Pervy Richardson?? She could have done better. And I know who could wear that dress: Barbie.

      • Dena says:

        Kate Upton reminds me of Anna Nicole Smith.

        Paris Hilton looks mature. She looks like a woman in her 30s. The resemblence to her mother snd sister are much morr evident.

        I won’t comment on the Ecclestone woman.

      • Hakura says:

        @Dena – I think she looks like Anna Nicole too!! It jumped right out at me, so I was surprised no one had mentioned it (until your comment). The face & hair, she *really* does.

        Granted she lacks Anna’s spark, but she’s still young.

  8. eileen says:

    Oh wow-that guys is yummy! I wouldn’t mind the language barrier! Ay dios mio!

  9. Lilly says:

    No bueno.

  10. Jaime says:

    Kate’s body is boxy. She will never be a top model because she doesn’t look good in clothes, only swimsuits. Brooklyn Decker is built the exact same way. No waistline, no ass…just boobs.

    • Emily says:

      Yep! She has the worst body! No curves!! She is build like a surf board! Doesn’t even look good in bikini! Girls with tiny waist and round hips with perky perfect butt look good in bikinis! Not this surf board with boobs! I rather be fat than have her body! NO WOMANLY SHAPES OR CURVES! And the sad part is she looks like one of those girls that would get super fat with age and her body type doesnt carry fat well! Her face is average at best!

      • cmc says:

        Daaang Emily, that’s a lot of exclamation points. Tell us how you really feel!

        Kate Upton may not be everyone’s cup of tea (she’s not mine), but she’s hardly a surfboard.

      • Glam says:

        Ok then I really skinny mattress with huge boobs! Girl has no curves! Period

      • cherie says:

        “I rather be fat than have her body!”

        -sorry, that just screams insecure jealous bitch.

    • CookieJar says:

      Jaime, thank you! I don’t get why people say she has an awsome body. She has awsome boobs, yeah, but her midsection is far from supermodel material. Like she swallowed a big plate. No waistline and ass.

  11. Tiffany27 says:

    I feel like Kate is being mean-girled or something by stylists cuz homegirl looks like sh*t unless she’s in a bikini.

  12. Kim says:

    Kim k shouldve been in this list, AND under her caption it should have said “kim was there too for some reason” just saying!

    • cmc says:

      Kim is way more famous than all of those folks. Did you hear the season premier of their trashy show had its highest ratings yet?! People keep watching her garbage, so we’re stuck with her…but just because she sucks doesn’t mean she’s not super famous.

      • Glam says:

        Famous for the WRONG reason! People love to watch train wrecks! People aren’t laughing with her they are laughing at her. She is the MOST humiliated “celeb” around right now, even by huge celebs! And she used to be Paris’s closet organizer! Her “fame” has expiration date

  13. Meanchick says:

    Kate Upton’s dress looks like a Home Ec. project gone wrong. Paris? Meh. That other pie of hot mess? Eeeww?

  14. Aiobhan says:

    LV should be ashamed of themselves for putting that ugly dress on that pretty girl.

    Whoever that Tamara girl is she looks like Megan Fox’s little sister. Or maybe older sister. I am too lazy to google her name and why she exists.

    Santoro is fine but for some reason he looks short. Weird comment that I am sticking with.

    • Maguita says:

      I think it is already a step up, since LV used to dress Kanye and at one time, hold your gag reflex, Sh-t Brown. The abusive R&B “singer”.

      • Aiobhan says:

        I did not know that LV gave Ahole Brown clothes. I remember Kanye made some fantastically ugly shoes or something but did not think that Ahole was on their radar. Glad they stopped. Kanye is still an ahole but I cut him some slack because I still think he is getting over his mother’s death. That is why he had such a horrible time with Amber Rose and is now playing clean up/dress up with Kim;he is just trying to distract himself. Whether it works or not remains to be seen.

      • Maguita says:

        Kanye is also a noted musical genius. Too bad he has to cover, whatever he is trying to cover, by dating a Kim K.

        I find that it brought his rep down, and it’s taking quite away from his artistic credibility.

  15. Rita says:

    Kate is making hay while the making is good because even she knows the hay season won’t last long.

  16. Riana says:

    I think it’s because Kate doesn’t have good management, she seems to be another Internet sensation that a major brand is riding the wave of popularity without really believing in her. Michelle Phan is another one that comes to mind.

    They could dress her better. They could get her better gigs (peaking at SI would suck) than dancing for Uncle Terry and masterbating to hamburgers. But honestly theyre probably half done with her and not really trying anymore.

  17. Riana says:

    I think it’s because Kate doesn’t have good management, she seems to be another Internet sensation that a major brand is riding the wave of popularity without really believing in her. Michelle Phan is another one that comes to mind.

    They could dress her better. They could get her better gigs (peaking at SI would suck) than dancing for Uncle Terry and masterbating to hamburgers. But honestly they’re probably half done with her and not really trying anymore.

  18. Dinah says:

    1) Kate Upton- what’s worse, hairstyle or dress?? Oh, allow me to include hair color under the hair umbrella.
    2) Paris Hilton- did she have her nose tip shortened? It looks suspiciously different to me. really hideous gown.
    3)Petra’s dress- do I sort of like it, or really dislike it? Lose this hairstyle either way.

  19. connie says:

    I like kate’s hair but def not with this dress. Just plain terrible! I think she is a cute girl with a guy friendly figure. Def not supermodel but approachable. On one of the radio stations here they were talking about her and every guy that called in was completely gaga for her. I’m more of the meh variety but would never go so far as to say “i’d rather be fat than have her body” agree with above poster.. jelis h8r

  20. Blue says:

    Oh my Rodrigo is so fine!!!!

  21. Tracy says:

    I don’t get Kate Upton’s appeal …she just looks like a Florida sorority girl to me.

  22. Ramona Q says:

    Paris looks a LOT like sister Nicky in those close-up pics. I’ve never seen the resemblance before now.

  23. danielle says:

    There is no side of Paris that is likeable – bite your tongue!!!

    Also, I feel a bit sad for Kate Upton for some reason. I think the other fashion people meangirl her because she eats. And because she has wonky brows.

  24. Kim says:

    Kate Upton needs to tone her mid section. Not saying she is fat but at her age & having had no children she shouldnt have a pooch.