Michelle Williams: “You deserve more than just somebody who’s nice to you”

Michelle Williams covers the new issue of Flare Magazine, a Canadian fashion mag. Unfortunately, this cover shot is a reprint from Elle UK’s December 2011 issue. Fortunately, the interview seems to be new. It struck me as I was reading the excerpts that we haven’t heard much from Michelle in the past two months. She went undercover, dropping out of view after the awards season and post-awards love-athon with Jason Segel. Jason and Michelle got together in late February, which means that they’ve been together for three-and-a-half months at this point. Is it weird that we haven’t heard much about them over the past six weeks? It’s weird (to me) because Michelle and Jason’s relationship got a very big PR rollout in People Magazine and Us Weekly, and I’m surprised at how little follow-up there’s been. Us Weekly says they’re still together at this point, and maybe Michelle’s Flare interview will give us some insights:

On her personal life: “I need to keep my life very separate. I live and love and make decisions from a very comfortable and removed place. That’s how it works for me.”

Michelle on her character in Take This Waltz: “I thought about [this movie] as a coming-of-age story. Not in the pubescent way, but a girl on the verge of becoming a woman, of that transition that you make in your late 20s or early 30s. She’s yet to experience a great kind of sadness. And I think that that’s the thing that kind of plants her into adulthood.”

On relationships: “You deserve more than just somebody who’s nice to you. I think that so often these days, niceness seems like it should be enough because it seems like such a rare quality but when you get inside of it, you think, ‘Hmmm … I can be pretty nice to myself.’ What about these other things? Life is too short and too crappy to not try to get more of what you want.”

On her number one summer rule: “You should never wear jewelry in the summer. You should always be ready to jump into a lake at any time.”

[Via Just Jared]

I understand her point about setting the relationship bar so low that you’ll settle for someone who is just “nice” to you. It’s a valid point – we should want so much more out of a relationship. But in reality, it sometimes seems really difficult to find someone who is capable of being “nice,” isn’t it? But that’s me – I’m a cynic. Michelle is an optimist.

Photos courtesy of Flare.

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63 Responses to “Michelle Williams: “You deserve more than just somebody who’s nice to you””

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  1. alison says:

    She’s so pretty, but usually comes off rather pretentious and cloying and I hate it. She’s gotten so when she does interviews and wants to appear thoughtful she slightly purses her lips, cocks her head to the side and looks up at the ceiling and it really bothers me.

  2. Naye in VA says:

    Hmmm after 4 years with an a**hole, im down for nice. Nice and compliant lol.

    • merski says:

      THAT.
      Exactly, I’ve been stuck in a very difficult relationship for a few years and at the end I remember asking myself “Would it be too much to ask for some guy to just be nice to me?” Nice is really ok. It might be a little boring, it might not be fireworks, but nice is totally ok. Seriously.

    • RocketMerry says:

      So agree!
      Some of us don’t even get “nice”, I’d be happy with “cordial”! STFU ‘Chelle! 🙂

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      I’m wondering what the “other things” MW is referring to, does she want someone to pee on her?

    • mzthirtyeight says:

      I’m with a “nice,” which has made me feel guilty that I’m about to leave-nothing is exactly “wrong”-but I do know there’s more out there for me. A little passion, some intelligent convo, etc. I’m not believing in a personal fairy tale, but I think I get what Michelle was saying, and I agree.

      • CityGirl says:

        Just because someone is good to you doesn’t mean they are good for you. It took quite a bit of therapy to understand that. Particularly after having had the previous pleasure of being with a not very nice at all! Hang tough.

      • Otterette says:

        I’m 31 and not so much a fairy tale idealist as I used to be, say, 10 yrs ago, but part of me still can’t shake the nagging question of what if?? What if a personal fairy tale is totally possible, and I’m closing myself off from that possibility by “settling” for “pretty close?” :/

  3. Rhea says:

    You know, the media always helps creating an image of a celebrity for us. Jen.A for the girl next door image, Michelle .W for the pure, fragile girl image, Reese. W for the proper, nice, straight kinda girl,etc.

    I wonder in a real life if the personality is the same with the image created? Just wondering.

    • lisa says:

      NOPE..

      we see this all the time. The media tells us that this person is this way. Then as life goes on and you see how these people are actually living their lives the perception is many time not the reality. I hate when the press uses terms like America sweetheart and and such. Because really most of the women that got that title are not that at all.

      Michelle seems nice but I don’t find her that interesting. I do think she play into the perception of her image. Her covers and interviews scream it to me. But hope she and her daughter are happy.

      • Rhea says:

        Yeah.. I got that feeling, too. But still, some people believe anyway the image that the media created. 🙁

    • bns says:

      Allegedly, Reese Witherspoon is a major bitch. So is America’s Sweetheart Julia Roberts.

  4. birdie says:

    Good for her she is with the nicest guy ever. Jason Segel is adorable and friendly.

  5. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I think her point was that “just nice” isn’t really what draws her to man. Nice PLUS other qualities is what makes a man more complex, interesting, and appealing. I know tons of guys that are “just nice” and for me, I find many of those men to be rather dull. I prefer a fundamentally nice man with an edge. A guy with integrity that isn’t afraid to challenge me, who makes me want to be a better person while simultaneously accepting who I am. I’ve never been the type to look for a “yes man” who’s going to cater to my every whim.
    Anyway, I love Michelle. Don’t even care much about her off-screen persona. I just think she’s an incredible actress.

    PS-Nice, sweet but with an edge (multi-faceted) DOES exist. I found one! 🙂

    • Nicole says:

      Exactly! I was with a just “nice” guy for years and years, and there is nothing wrong with him but there was a lot of major things missing from our relationship. He wasn’t someone who could challenge me and I felt like I had to boss him around all the time, not a great feeling. I like genuinely nice guys, but they also have to be an equal in the relationship, push you to better yourself and be able to stand up for themselves.
      I 100% get where she is coming from. I decided being alone was a better alternative…still searching for a nice, challenging, interesting man, but so be it.

    • Ally says:

      Yah, except for the self-loathing and dead muppet room. /blind item

    • Otterette says:

      Yup. Generally speaking, I’m thoroughly unimpressed when someone is described as “nice.” And even slightly offended when I hear that about me. Of all my accomplishments and attributes, you went with that simplistic nonsense? Nice is just the absence of active malice, and says little more than that. Complex, intelligent people are so much more than just “nice.”

  6. Sara says:

    She is really pretty and is a great actress. I saw My Week With Marilyn couple of weeks ago and thought WOW amazing!!!

    • Peach Dancer says:

      She is super talented. She absolutely nailed MM, I agree. Looking forward to what she is doing next. Strangely in interviews she comes across a bit pretentious, and her “I am so fragile” schtick is a bit annoying. Some famous people you can imagine hanging out with and having a good laugh, she somehow doesn’t seem to be fun.

  7. corny says:

    why does she dress like a parochial school girl and dare to give fashion tips? If I want to wear my rubies in the lake I shall!

    • merski says:

      ahahhahah, good one 😀

    • ZZZ says:

      AGREE! I hate her little girl lost style. You don’t have to wear spandex and have your boobs hanging out, but grow up. Do not understand the desire to look like a frail little girl. (Alexa Chung does this too).
      And yeah, the whole Don’t wear jewelry in the summer, so you can jump in a lake at any moment is one of the stupidest beauty tips I have ever heard.
      I’m at work, I hardly think I am going to get the urge to go jump in a lake.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        Obviously she’s never heard of Cameroon or the year 1986 because that kind of incident would put the kibosh on any sort of ‘let’s get liberated, pixies’ attitude and melancholy nostalgia for a time that passed 25 years before one’s own birth even occurred.

        Apart from saving money on haircuts and getting all of that smelly livestock and food out of the way, as had seemed to so frequently be the case if checked in the annals of human histories (use ‘The Elements Take Back What Is Theirs And Gives Us Ours’ as your search item), she would be served naught but scalding, asphyxiated hell should history of Hell repeat itself.

        Wait, *when* history repeats itself says ‘science’. Planets blowing part of themselves up, shouldn’t that be old hat? Honestly though, can you imagine living under the constant promise that your country is going to keep blowing parts of itself up?

        Always consult your geologist when pursuing the perfection of aquatic frolicking because A Lake Is A Terrible Thing To Combust. Even the chilliest sang froid running through the most enthusiastic and priggish Etonian legacy psychrolute can match the power of 100 Metres Of Hot Gushing (Gabriel García Márquez is a genius). My numbers show that scalding and deafening the demographic doesn’t help anyone as it’s just really bad for ‘wellness’, as is Radithor, which promises vitality but concludes in something like phossy jaw, so clearly the science to us, but of what?

        Hasn’t she discussed all of this with her geography mentors, as we all do while de-glutenizing photo albums? Or is she weeping softly in a pillow over the memory of a delicate and fragile encounter with a gray tabby cat, named Cloudy, held deep in her experience of estrus, making plans and taking refuge in a nearby pile of wispy Peter Pan collars?

        Cards on the table: I have wicked hayfever and my thought process derailed so quickly and thoroughly that I’ve entirely forgotten what I was saying.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      You had better hope that your swimming takes place entirely in the realm of the black and white or maybe sepia because red is my favourite colour and if I see rubies, the rubies become mine. I declare it ‘science’, and don’t you argue with me unless you like getting the wrath of the caulking of Thor unleashed upon your installation systems. Nothing gives you the right to protect your jewels from my batshittery because really, upon whose law would those ‘rights’ be privileged? Your law? Santa’s law? Bird law? I tell you now, man’s law is not my law and if this were 1960 I would have to make my demands through the Negro League of Jewelers and I’m getting tired of onyx, so stand and deliver!!

      Or have a nice day, but I’d be super-appreciative if you gave my first offer a real serious think, because I don’t want to have to turn this over to Pirate Litigation, or something.

      I will have them, I will do it for kicks, I will wear them for their beauty and I shall replace the real gems with my newest invention: dioxy-ruby-fido-rufus and none shall be the wiser!

  8. Anon says:

    I guess that interview in Flare is part of the PR for Sarah Polley’s ” Take this waltz” movie due out soon. Ms Williams is one of the younger actresses that are very good in film. I do not care about her personal life nor her personality – good or bad; just her work in cinema.Looking forward to the movie.

  9. cody says:

    I think she is a wonderful actress and nice to hear that she is dating Jason. He is probably very different from Keith Ledger. I read somewhere, that Michelle said, she wanted to take some time off to be with her daughter, maybe that is why we don’t see her around much.

  10. Embee says:

    I like what she has to say. She’s just pointing out that we have come to expect so little from our partners that now we are grateful for what should be a prerequiste!

    But I prefer the term “kind”. Kindness can more easily have the edge to which The Original Kitten alludes, while still maintaining a sense of decency about the treatment of others. Nice conjures images of khakis and pastel polo shirts, Jon Edwards-style hair and sitting on a floral couch while sipping vodka tonics. Blergh.

  11. aims says:

    I think nice is always a good thing. I have been very lucky, I married my best friend. I don’t want to say it’s a perfect marriage, it’s not. We both do things that annoy the other person. Overall, not everyday is roses and wine, but were solid and we love each other. We’re also going on 15 years, I would also say respect, and giving each other there space to be there own person is key.

    • gg says:

      Nice is mandatory. I think what she is getting at is don’t just stop at “nice”. They have to have a lot more than that. A really nice alcoholic without a job is not a good mate.

      I have several female friends who are so desperate and they fall for one little trick and then invest 100 percent into the “nice” married/abusive/jobless/serial womanizer, and get their real hopes smashed down repeatedly. It’s hard to watch when you care about the person and see them walking into virtual quicksand every time you talk to them. People who think they are desperate can have a very strong sense of denial.

      • aims says:

        It’s funny you should say that. I also have a friend who’s in her mid thirties, and she wants the husband and 2.5 kids, that it also is giving her the blinders. After each break up, she is so raw,but she jumps right in again and again. I don’t know if she’s brave or dumb.

        I agree, nice is a given. Finding someone who is your personal “home” is very difficult.

  12. mel says:

    I’m kind of over her…she is a grown up for god sakes…stop acting like a 16 year old….

  13. foreverandever says:

    Jason’s got more in his bag of tricks than pure niceness….yes i saw it in sarah marshall ;-)))

  14. Boo says:

    You should always be ready to jump in a lake? What?

    An echo from a post above: STFU Michelle.

    Oh, and go jump in a lake with your stupid rules and precious ideas about everything.

  15. Crystal says:

    She’s boring and beige as hell but she’s a great actress and she always delivers. That cover looks like a budget Vogue cover tbh. She’s cute though and she’s one of the few women who look better with short hair, like Halle Berry.

  16. Eve says:

    Did they photoshop her eyes to make them look bigger? There’s something off about them in these pictures, especially the second one.

  17. Jover says:

    Meh, same old celeb psychobabble mixed with Dr Phil, oprah, etc. that comment about her personal life is juvenile gibberish at its best; the adage it does no good to know yourself if you know nothing else is certainly true with this actress which is ruined when she opens her mouth and out tumbles the cliches. Par for the course.

  18. gg says:

    “You deserve more than just somebody who’s nice to you”

    Truer words were never spoken. Gals, don’t settle, it’s just not worth it.

  19. bns says:

    Every photoshoot she does is the same.

  20. Boo says:

    Question: did she ALWAYS have this “I’m so fragile” thing, or was that the direct result of Heath’s untimely death, when she became “the victim” and never stopped? Did she or her handlers or the media parlay that tragedy into her new marketable image?

  21. megan says:

    ugggggggh that lake comment is so annoying. you know those stupid blogs with nothing but inane instagram photos of people’s days & meals, peppered with phony one-sentence captions? that lake quote so belongs in there, under a picture of skinny bearded guys in cut offs ironically “enjoying” a lake.

    • Lulu says:

      What else kind of blog is there? I take it you must not ready many? Anyway, I don’t think she even meant it that way. I think that comment alludes the original Michelle…with Busy Phillips and their friends totally jumping into the pool!

  22. NeoCleo says:

    Michelle is an optimist, yes. I hope she feels that way 20 years from now. Me? I would be happy if I could find someone who would be nice to me–as for romantic love? Sheesh. I’ve yet to find any that lasts longer than 6 month to a year. Then once the mist clears from myhead it’s down to how compatible we are.

  23. Patricia says:

    As my sister used to say “My dog is nice but I wouldn’t want to date him. ”

    I get their point – but nice would be a good start and it is nearly impossible to find in my experience. Interestingly most men say the same thing. Oh well, that’s Mars and Venus I guess.

    Thankfully there are other great things to do in life rather than search for mr right, and we don’t live in an age or country that we need him.

  24. stellalovejoydiver says:

    We have this saying in Germany that nice is the little sister of shit. If nice is the first thing that comes to your mind when describing your boyfriend/friend then that should make you think.

    I want to like her because she´s in this position because of her talent and not for using her sexuality, but she´s just so boring.

  25. Bella Bella says:

    Omg, sometimes I wish she and Zooey Dechanel would jump on the tear stained glittered unicorn they rode in on and go the funk away.
    She’s so delicate. She’s so sad. She’s so misunderstood. She’s so fey. barf. ponytail bubble gum barf.

  26. Mrs.Darcy says:

    I do wish she would stop participating in these twee, little girl style fashion shoots. I do agree with her though, settling is never good, no matter how nice the person.

  27. sup says:

    nice photoshop. this hardly looks like the michelle we know and don’t love.
    BTW I have to get this outta my chest right now… Stop with all these pseudo-innocent, 1950’s evoking, personality-lacking, age-negating college style outfits! this trend must be stopped! it hails from an era where women were widely accepted as the weaker sex, and they were either innocent angels or hoes, there was no in-between. this dangerous retro trend has gone too far the moment it regressed any further than the 70’s. it all looks like another stupid consequence of the war against women. just look at the news, look at politicians worldwide, female empowerment seems to be less promoted than the 90’s. let women dress like women! and michelle you’re not fooling anybody, most i’ve seen agree that you’re a calculating woman, you can stop dressing like you’re 20 years younger than you are. just like you’ve stopped with the all-white dresses when it was widely criticized.

  28. In my practice I see women who “settled” for someone who was “nice.” And they feel stuck and trapped in those relationships because “what’s wrong with me if I’m not happy with a nice guy?” Nice isn’t always enough. Challenge, spark, sexual chemistry, shared interests, AND somene who is kind, honest, and true is what one should be looking for. And those kinds of men are out there. There are guys who are just good men, and then there are “nice guys.” And sometimes “nice guys” aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. But a good man who sets your spark off is a keeper.

  29. Moi says:

    She’s right. Someone that is only “nice” will not end up being enough in the long run IMO. Everyone has their own idea of what they want that is more than just nice however. Sexy, strong, funny, loyal, intelligent (but not arrogant about it), and finacially responsible are my other musts along with being nice. 🙂

    • lauren says:

      Nice is good, combined with animalistic sex. My first husband was Mr. Personality-Rich dude…horrible in bed. 2nd husband…quiet in public, responsible..everyone thinks he is Mr. Boring…in bed..well, I have passed out from pleasure. Not kidding. Noisy-boistrous-egomanical men are awful in bed…selfish and uncaring.

  30. Jennifer12 says:

    Did you ever see “Stakeout”? I love the part where the Richard Dreyfuss character is lamenting being called nice, and the Madeleine Stowe character starts talking about her psychotic ex-boyfriend and how bad things were with a “bad boy” and says something along the lines of how much she could use “a little nice”.

  31. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Go jump in a lake? You heard it here, folks, but who’s talking?