Matt Bomer on ‘coming out’: “I never really endeavored to hide anything”

Several months ago, Matt Bomer “came out of the closet”. Except not really. Everyone knew he was gay. He was an “out” gay man for years before he was cast on USA’s White Collar, and some suspected that Bomer simply refused to answer questions about his sexuality at USA’s urging (because he was playing a heterosexual con man, etc). Bomer has been with his partner Simon Hall for years and years – and they have three children together, but he never spoke about Simon or their kids publicly until the past few months. So… what changed? Nothing really. Bomer’s “coming out” was a non-event. Women are still hot for him. He’s still a working actor. No one really cares, I don’t think. So E! News got Bomer to speak candidly about his decision to “come out” – only he rejects the premise of the question.

Matt Bomer doesn’t like talking about his private life. And even if the White Collar star did publicly acknowledge he was gay earlier this year, he’s not about to start spilling anytime soon.

“I never really endeavored to hide anything,” Bomer, 34, told me this weekend while promoting his new movie, Magic Mike. “But there were times I chose not to relegate my history to the back page of a magazine, which to me is sort of akin to putting your biography on a bathroom wall.”

Not that he dismisses the importance of being an out actor.

“I had somebody from the military approach me a few weeks ago just saying how this helps people, affects people,” Bomer said. “It brought me to tears.”

I go so far as to suggest that he could be saving young gay people’s lives. “I hope so,” he said. “They need saving, certainly in this day and age as much as ever—no matter how much we think we’ve progressed.”

His coming out was as subtle as they come. Bomer simply thanked his longtime partner, Hollywood publicist Simon Halls, and their three children, Kit, Walker and Henry, when he was honored by the Desert AIDS Fund in Palm Springs in February.

“What we really have to do is stop the adjective before the job title—whether it’s ‘black actor,’ a ‘gay actor’ or ‘anything actor,'” Bomer said. “Everybody thinks that equality comes from identifying people, and that’s not where equality comes from. Equality comes from treating everybody the same regardless of who they are. I hope the media and the press catches on to that because it’s time to move out of 1992.”

Bomer certainly dispels the notion that coming out will hurt an actor’s career.

As you probably know by now, he’s one of the many pieces of man candy actors in Magic Mike (out on Friday), director Steven Soderbergh’s movie inspired by Channing Tatum’s prefame days as a stripper. “When they called me, I thought, ‘Do they have the wrong number? Did they mean to call the guy from Vampire Diaries?'” Bomer said, laughing. “And at the time I was really skinny so I think there may have been a five-minute window from when I hung up the phone to when I went to the gym.” (FYI: He put on about 15 pounds for the role.)

One dance sequence shows him dressed as a doctor but stripping on top of an audience member who is laying on a gurney on the stage. “Channing told me, ‘You have to use the stretcher and just get up on this girl and grind your junk in her face,'” Bomer remembered.

He did just that. “But this girl was not going to just sit there and be ground upon,” Bomer said. “She started licking me in all kinds of special places and we just kept going…It was one of those situations where you were in an environment where moral parameters are not the same as they are if you’re doing a political drama. You just sort of have to say yes to everything and embrace it.”

Thankfully, Bomer said, his kids are too young for flick.

“But one day when they are old enough, they can watch it,” he said. “I’ll be able to say, ‘Hey, your old man used to be in shape. He might not be anymore, but he used to be in shape. Now, go get me a beer.'”

[From E! News]

Yeah, I know what that actress was thinking. She was all, “OMG, Matt Bomer is waving his junk in my face. I bet he tastes like heaven!” As for Bomer’s statements on being a “gay actor” (versus an actor who happens to be gay), I think he has a valid point. But I also think Bomer realizes that Hollywood – and the rest of the country – isn’t there yet. He knows that “coming out” is important because it gives young gay kids positive role models, and because no one should have to hide their sexuality.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, ‘Magic Mike’ still.

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24 Responses to “Matt Bomer on ‘coming out’: “I never really endeavored to hide anything””

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  1. Launicaangelina says:

    He’s right – “gay”, “black”, “cherub” need to just be left off. So many terms…

    This reminds me of a motivational speaker I heard one time. Someone asked him how he incorporates his Christianity into his work (it was a random question because his focus was not on religion but working with at risk youth) and he had an answer I loved. He told the guy, “I don’t go around saying, ‘I’m Christian! I’m Christian! I just walk the walk. It’s the same as being black, I just am. I don’t go around proclaiming ‘I’m black! I’m black!’ People will know me for how I am, not what I am and many things make me who I am.” I thought it was a good message about being multidimensional people when society tries to peg us as one thing.

  2. lisa2 says:

    I just noticed he wears a wedding ring.

    He is a beautiful man. that’s all I got; and I think that is enough.

    • Julia says:

      He is beautiful man but he is boring as hell.

      • Hmmm says:

        He’s too pretty for me but he is dignified, thoughtful, smart and very articulate. Not a himbo. That makes him very attractive to me.

        Oh, and he seems devoted. Nothing is sexier than devoted.

    • Katie says:

      He is a fabulously beautiful man! I could look at him all day.

  3. beyonce's bump says:

    he is sooo hot and beautiful and sexy and cute and just IT! I love the “subtleness” of his “coming out”. I am SO tired of people holding press conferences to announce they are gay, and I think “coming out” is still part of the “other-ing” of homosexuality. I have said it before and I will repeat, I cannot wait till we as a society has moved passed this coming out non sense. Let people just be who they are without trying to defend what or who they love by feeling the need to share it to the world for fear of being seen as “hiding” something.

    • Raven says:

      The media is a big part of that problem, with the digging and digging. Then PR managers encouraging actors to stay in the closet doesn’t help either.

      If Bomer had responded just as White Collar was hitting the air, it might have affected the show. But refusing to respond while living his life openly worked well for him and the show. It was very well done.

  4. Betts says:

    He is perfection – talent, looks, inteligence and above all class. Every actor gay or straight should take a page from this guys book! So glad his career is going big time.

  5. Samigirl says:

    This man is classy, intelligent, and beautiful. I love you Matt Bomer, and I would happily lick you in special places!

  6. Kristin says:

    I so totally don’t care that he’s gay. From the moment I saw him on Chuck, I was all, “WHO is that and how can I see him in everything he’s ever made???”

    He’s so awesome on White Collar and knowing that he’s gay does not diminish my love for him or the show at all. His chemistry with the girl who plays Alex is awesome (not so much the girl who plays Sara, but she sucks so I’m putting that on her).

    And knowing that he’s a committed family man just makes him hotter to me. Nothing more gorgeous than a faithful man and a good father.

  7. GoodCapon says:

    Oh Matty, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind… 😀 I say, Simon Halls is one lucky man!

    And because I still can’t get enough of this:

    I can’t wait for Magic Mike!

  8. eric says:

    Beautiful man, but looks strangely asexual on screen. Beauty alone is not enough. Can’t compare him to lets say Dirk Bogarde who was 100% homosexual but oozed sex appeal.

  9. Lindy says:

    Wow–this guy is total perfection. Intelligent, well-spoken, humble, funny, a good dad, and-oh yeah-hot! His interviews make me like him even more.

  10. Hautie says:

    Ohhh lookie! Another pretty man, in a shiny suit!

    I really do love these crazy shiny suits. That the men have been wearing to the premieres in the last week…

  11. Yadicakes says:

    Wowzers!!! He is a lovely piece of masculinity to stare at. Whether gay or not, I totally agree with that Facebook poll…totally perfect to play Christian Grey..prrrrr

  12. Eve says:

    Love him!

  13. makdle66 says:

    All I have to say is that I agree with everything he said. First of all, who cares if a male or female entertainer is heterosexual or homosexual?, is not like if they had the same sexual preference as you do they will actually look you up and have sex with you and marry you, so if you like someone on the screen, go on liking and dreaming, who knows, if you meet them in person, you may not be interested. Aside from that, this is the 21st century, who cares about what other people do in bed as long as is not harming anyone and they are doing it with consenting adults? I could care less if someone is homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual or asexual. As long as I’m respected, I respect other people and mind my own business.