Lindsay Lohan went on a cracked-out shopping binge yesterday, because why not?

I’m assuming these photos are Lindsay Lohan’s version of a cracked-out victory lap. Lindsay was photographed yesterday as she blew (ha) through several stores, including XIV Karats in Beverly Hills and Make Up For Ever on Robertson. I’m assuming The Canyons has finished filming, and that’s why she was out and about? She’s spending money that she doesn’t have… maybe she’s using someone else’s credit card? Perhaps. It wouldn’t surprise me.

Anyway, the paparazzi got tons of shots of Crackie in her specially selected outfit. I don’t get this outfit at all – it’s like a crackie version of Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman-going-shopping outfit, right? Vivian wore a men’s white shirt and her hooker mini-skirt. Lindsay is wearing a men’s white shirt, completely demolished jean shorts and a busted hat. The shorts are particularly unfortunate, right? We can see straight through them, and I’m really not sure what we’re even looking at. Is she even wearing underwear? Gross.

TMZ has a story about one of Lindsay’s old car accidents… remember when she hit a paparazzo back in 2010? I barely remember that, and I probably covered it. She gets into SO many car accidents, I tend to only remember the big ones, like when she runs over a baby or totals her rented Porsche and then lies to the cops about it. Anyway, Lindsay is blaming the paparazzo for standing there while she was driving, basically:

Lindsay Lohan believes a stupid paparazzo stupidly stepped in front of her car back in 2010 … and it’s his own stupid fault he got hit … this according to legal docs obtained by TMZ.

TMZ broke the story … a photog named Grigor Balyan sued Lindsay in January, claiming he was shooting her car as it drove away from a Hollywood nightclub — and her assistant plowed into him under Lindsay’s direction, causing him orthopedic and neurologic injuries.

But Lindsay’s ready to go to war over the allegations — filing her response in L.A. County Superior this week, claiming Balyan “carelessly put himself near a moving automobile” and caused his OWN injuries.

Lindsay insists she shouldn’t have to pay him squat. A judge has yet to rule.

[From TMZ]

Eh. Of course she’s not taking responsibility for any of it. Rule #1 of The Lohans: “It’s not my fault. It’s someone else’s fault. And if someone tries to blame you for something, SUE.” That being said, I don’t really find this paparazzo all that sympathetic. Everyone knows that when Lindsay is behind the wheel, you just need to back the f—k away.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

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104 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan went on a cracked-out shopping binge yesterday, because why not?”

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  1. Little Darling says:

    Ha ha ha, her bag says makeup forever! I wonder if it’s the pink iridescent lipstick, the orange day glow bronzer or that gorgeous, stunning coral clown lipstick she’s stocking up on?

    Ugh. This one. UGH.

    • Marissa says:

      She’s gonna need a lot more make-up to cover up that cracked out face. Such a shame…

      • Little Darling says:

        It actually is a shame. A terrible shame. Crack bloat face at such a young age. Fillers filling up more crud. No bueno.

    • corny says:

      love the crackie posts she defies us all with her crackery ducklipped grin

      • deehunny says:

        i too love the crackie posts. I hate to admit my love for the Kardashian posts (i can’t help but love making fun of her blow up doll face).

        And I think I say it every Cracken post— UGH THE LIPS. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, THE LIPS!!!

  2. cmc says:

    How many times can we say “ugh, her face, so puffy, look at those chins, omg is she even wearing a bra”? Nothing new here. Really though, how does she go through life looking like that? With all the money she spends plumping her lips, you’d think she’d get some lipo under her chin.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Exactly. The LiLo posts have become so redundant-even the continuous car accidents are passe. So predictable this chick.

      • Little Darling says:

        There are only so many comments even we, the loyal commenters can come up with. It is not even fun anymore to comment on her…well, maybe a smidge but really, it’s just sad at this point.

    • Kloops says:

      Seriously. She is repulsive.

      • DEB says:

        Even more repulsive than this waste of skin, with rotting jean shorts on, is that she’s carrying a $15K handbag. I’d like to smack that smirk off her face. Turns my stomach. Take the Birkin and give to someone deserving who appreciates it, not this useless yutz.

    • RocketMerry says:

      Forget the face (if you can… *shivers*): look at her totally fried HAIR!
      Good grief, she needs to put a super greasy conditioning mask on now, and leave it there for the next couple of months.

      I swear I won’t ever complain about my own hair, ever again.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Hee! :D I just had about a foot cut off of my hair last week, and I was all stressed at the salon because I had been losing a TON of strands per day. (It’s been over 100 here daily, with about 80% humidity – GAH! – so hot you actually get nauseous just from being outside for even 15 minutes.)

        She laughed at me and told me that I have “hair to spare” and it’s perfectly normal to lose that much when it’s this hot since I have that much hair.

        I’m so grateful my hair doesn’t look like Blohan’s!

      • RocketMerry says:

        Hey Bella! :)
        Wow, your hair must be long and thick! Lucky girl.
        I had to cut my hair a bit too (too much sun and what-not: now I look like Bamm-Bamm Rubble) but as I said, Lohan has a way of putting everything into perspective: actually, salons should put her picture on their walls so that clients can feel much better about themselves!

        As for the insanely humid heat of these days… I’m hoping we can all survive August. Walking will feel like swimming :D

  3. Aussie girl says:

    My eyes are burning from the last pic! Still got the bloat face going on & her hair looks like shit.

    • Lucy says:

      Also cankles!

    • erika says:

      FEEDBACK NEEDED: Guys, I’m serious about an online petition w/ http://www.change.org to send petition to State of CA/judge saunders to take HOLO SERIOUSLY with the driving charges! Would you all sign that? I know you would! Your name can be anonymous too…come on! Just like KONY2012 —LILO2012

      Someone console me…HoLo and I have the SAME double chin!
      K, that’s it, this afternoon I’m completing my change.org online petition to the State of CA, Judge Saunders to DO SOMETHING about HoLo’s driving offenses!
      I no longer ask “Why God? Why?” except for: the DAMN mismatchy bracelet/ring/wha wha WAAA?*!&@^ Jewelry issue she has! It BUGS! Bigtime! She’s got all these rinky/dinky bracelet/wristband/stuff ‘jewelry’. See? Millions! See? Than these club stamps from last summer with cigarette burns on her left wrist…? See that brown/black dot? Than her right thumb/hand some black marking?

      • the original bellaluna says:

        erika, I’ll sign. (I am curious: under what category will it be? Human Rights?)

        I think a lot of people (us included) are just so burned out on her “Groundhog Day”-esque life that she’s made us weary.

      • Sugar says:

        WHOOHOO Erika I was counting on you to bring this up. I don’t live in CA but I do travel there to see family. I would sign it-the outfit alone is a criminal offense. thanks for your persistence to get this started!

  4. Sillyone says:

    OMG the second to the last pic! Is that her herp box? GROSS! This is the same person we read about yesterday who wouldn’t show her knee knockers because she was to modest right? UGH.

  5. Macey says:

    Id really just love to smack that smirk off her. You can tell she really thinks she’s something. Her legs are horrid for a 26 yr old, cant complain tho b/c nothing like seeing pics of LL to make me feel better about myself.

    and Im pretty sure its Vikram’s (sp?) CC she’s using, he is her pimp you know.

    • Onyx XV says:

      Yes, clearly she thinks she’s still got it going on. She doesn’t yet realize she’s the only one who still thinks that! She looks SO awful.

    • Bess says:

      She’s definitely loving the attention.

      It’s amazing that A list celebrities can find ways to avoid the paparazzi and stay under the radar, but Blohan gets papped all the time.

      I don’t think she’s wearing underwear either.

      • Byte Me says:

        Isn’t that because she calls the paps to tell them her current location?

      • Bess says:

        Yeah, but the value of Blohan’s “candid photos” can’t be high because the public only sees her as a train wreck at this point. I wonder why the paps still bother to show up when she calls them.

      • Macey says:

        yes, her and Dina have TMZ on speed dial.
        I think her TMZ and pap shots are her only source of income these days.

    • Little Darling says:

      Smack the smirk off her face.

      This should be done by every passerby. A smack to take life’s beauty seriously.

  6. ellie66 says:

    Forget Lindsey (ahh if we only could) what in blue hell does that guy have coming out of his ears?

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      It looks like tiny lizards clamped onto his lobes. WTF indeed.

      • mzthirtyeight says:

        This sh** made me “lol!” I went back and looked, and…seriously, W.T.F!?

      • the original bellaluna says:

        I think they’re THROUGH his earlobes (bro and SIL have all manner of stretched out lobes) but I had to do a double- and triple-take to satisfy my WTF moment.

    • erika says:

      those are traditional Maaori tribe bone earrings, the Maori’s are the native people of New Zealand before the British came in to colonize –

      http://www.thefind.com/jewelry/info-maori-bone

      they’re a cool, peaceful people that have managed to stay somewhat alive/culturally represented today (not like aborigine struggles in australia) think ‘whale rider’ if you saw that movie…

  7. jwoolman says:

    If a regular person walked into a store wearing raggedy shorts like that, the sales clerk or security would be an inch behind them all the way from start to finish. Oh, wait. Never mind.

  8. brin says:

    So it’s true…skid row cheap has replaced boho chic.

  9. dorothy says:

    She really is such an unattractive girl.

  10. lucy2 says:

    You guys don’t even need to write these anymore. Just have a standard form article that you upload every few days that says “Lohan gets in accident, steals, looks awful, blames everyone else, gets cracked out” and it would pretty much cover her daily activities.

  11. Rll says:

    That looks like a real pony’s tail

  12. gee says:

    Shes carrying like twelve bags but all her crap is in her hands.

  13. Boo says:

    She has now been papped with a hat on for a few days…she’s got real problems under there and/or she realizes that there is less to criticize if her scalp is not showing. Same with the eyes…we can’t comment on her cracked out glare if we can’t see it.

    I wonder when she will don the full burqa so we can’t comment on her disgusting legs or her many chins? Of course, she’d have to pin a sign to her chest saying, “it’s me! Lindsay!” so she could still sell the pics. I’m sure the pack of cigarettes in her hand would help identify her. And the burqa would be slit up to the ass so we could still cop a glimpse of something naughty. Hey, baby needs a paycheck.

  14. DanaG says:

    You made me look! I don’t think she is wearing underwear but if she was that would be a huge shock. Looks like the check cleared for the canyons so she is spending it all. Most would find somewhere besides a hotel to live but not our Lindsay. No she goes and buys makeup which she has shown time after time she can’t apply! I guess she didn’t get to take some home with her from the set.

  15. Alice says:

    I kind of like these photos- she appears sober and is not behind the wheel of a car!

  16. TrollyDolly says:

    Sadly too true!

  17. Blue says:

    She looks freshly plumped, but her hands are so gross looking.

  18. Raider says:

    What’s up with the ?guy? With her in the first pic?

  19. Quinn says:

    Although spawned by a Rockette (HEEE! My fav WO lie…), Lindsay’s legs have NEVER been her best feature. These days, they are just gross to look at. Along with the rest of her, yes…

  20. lena80 says:

    Wait..her assistant was driving the car and hit the pap? And he’s claiming the assistant hit him because LL told the assistant to do it? Umm, yeah that case is going to get tossed. Paps always put themselves in front or around celebs vehicles. I would have plowed through them to. Sorry I cant stand paps. I don’t see why LL in this particular situation should be responsible for what her assistant did, even if it was proven LL said do it, the assistant was the one operating the car not LL, thus the assistant would be the one liable…I think

    • swack says:

      I don’t like the paps either as they are like vultures (their job to do so), but if there were that many paps around the car that they could not move without hitting one of them then they should have called the police to clear them out. Don’t know the laws in CA but usually any settlement money comes from the insurance company that is covering the car – unless the driver did not have permission to drive the car.

  21. Dragonlady sakura says:

    She just got through an entire day without running someone over with her car, she deserves a treat. Lol.

    • KaitX says:

      When I read it was her assistant driving I thought it was really weird that Lindsey would say “drive over the pap” and that the assistant would do it. Why on earth would you purposely drive over someone?!

  22. Boo says:

    Is that big ugly brown bag a shopping bag or one of her many purses? I just have to ask, if it is a purse, how many enormous bags does she need to take with her when she shops? She must be looking to shoplift some larger items.

  23. Dani says:

    Really, a Birkin? Girrrrrl we all know it’s fake.

  24. mzthirtyeight says:

    A mix of Willie Nelson, Stevie Ray Vaughn…ugh, I don’t really need to be offensive to anymore people, alive or dead, when comparing her outfit.

    • skuddles says:

      Oh HELLS no!! You will not be comparing the Blohan to my beloved SRV!!! Take it back, take it back!!!

      *stomps off in pretend huff* ;)

  25. ramie says:

    why is she so bloated all the time?

  26. Happymom says:

    Her nose is shrinking as her lips gets bigger. Ugh. And of course she’s shopping-she has no other “hobbies” besides drinking/drugs.

  27. keats says:

    My friend posted an unflattering picture of me online yesterday, these pics make me feel SO much better. Thanks linds! You never disappoint.

  28. lea says:

    ewww, is she even wearing panties??? u can almost see her …

  29. Spacelamb says:

    I hope she bought some new shorts, because the ones she is wearing have been mauled by wolves. Or Terry Richardson.

  30. sarahtonin says:

    She didn’t go bra shopping, clearly.
    Protip: Less lipstick, more underwear please LieLie.

  31. mewmow says:

    I am not defending this crazy by any means, really, but sometimes the paps put themselves in a dangerous situation. Honestly, as close as they get to celebs cars, and so many surrounding them so they can’t even drive, I am suprised it doesn’t happen more often. Not on purpose of course, but still. :-(

  32. Dawning Red says:

    Mattel should totally start making a Lindsay Lohan action figure, complete with accessories such as dime bags, smashed cars, bottles of vodka and Red Bull, sea jasper, valtrex, birth control, and jewelry and clothing with the stores bar codes still on them. You could also have a generic judge and courtroom set for her to play in, along with a picture of Ali to slide under the doors – just like in real life.

    It’s fun for the whole family!

    • skuddles says:

      LOL love it!!

    • Bess says:

      To complete the set, Mattel could also make a “SamRo” action figure complete with snear and the middle finger salute.

      The Vikram figure could include a beer gut, greasy hair, a pimp stick and a wad of cash.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      We’d also need a smaller scale Chateau, complete with plexi-glass tables scratched up from “guests” doing lines on the tables, a chained-off VIP room, and secret doors and entrances for LiHo to scam and con her way into events for which she’s not invited.

      And a Shawn Holley doll, complete with briefcase.

      Viki also needs a bag of coke and a rolled-up hundie to complete his ensemble.

      Come one ladies, let’s really go all out! :) (Cracktinis for everyone, to get those creative juices flowing.)

      • Bondon says:

        And there would have to be an Ali-doll as well, like Skipper to her Barbie

      • Bondon says:

        Oh, instead of a pink Barbie corvette, there’d have to be a Porsche Panamera. Banged-up, naturally.

      • Dawning Red says:

        Well, I did forget about the Michael Lohan action figure that comes in an orange jumpsuit and has a tree to fall out of, and the Dina Lohan figure complete with Rockettes uniform!

        There’s a lot of other accessories for the Lindsay figure too. You’ll need a black kid for Lindsay to blame everything on, and a bottle of liquid paper for painting white lines on tables, toilet seats, and the inside of her nostrils. But bras and panties are out of the question!

      • Bobo says:

        Don’t forget the poster size mug shots that come in the box!

      • Sugar says:

        I’m late to the party but I’ll add a Terry Richardson doll with his camera his 70 porn glasses & a portfolio of his edgy B&W’s of LILO

    • Cathy says:

      The cigarettes, don’t forget the cigarettes. Isn’t it Parliments she smokes?

      • skuddles says:

        Too funny, you guys all have such great imaginations! Wouldn’t it be something if we could actually market this idea?? I know I would have totally played with the Lohan barbie set when I was a kid… I used to invent the most lascivious and dramatic scenarios ever with my barbies. Affairs, murders, revenge, you name it :D

        I envision the Dina Lohan doll laying flat out with a drink in hand and her dress hiked up to her waist. You know… classy, just like the real Dina :)

    • erika says:

      Be careful Ladies, watch your step. HoLo is notorious for SUING….. you even paint one strand ‘hookah red’ and youre dust!

      hire a lawyer

  33. beclove says:

    Did she just claw herself out of the grave? BARF.

  34. flourpot says:

    She’s digging that cleopatra eyeliner. Skank.

  35. Newtsgal says:

    The nicest thing that I can say is… At least she bought new makeup and she can stop wearing that clown makeup shes been using

  36. Cait says:

    Why is she dressed like The Edge, circa “Rattle and Hum”?

  37. The Original Mia says:

    Those shorts are…tragic. Are we seeing the Lohan vag? Because eww. Can we not? But then again, how would we know? She’s probably as bare as a Barbie doll.

  38. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m amazed those shorts didn’t quit that bitch and just dissolve right off her body! Poor things are hanging on for dear life…to THAT. *gags*

    Dear XIV:

    Please check your inventory, STAT. Sticky Fingers McCrackhead was in your store, so I’m certain you’re missing at least one piece of jewelry.

    • Izzy says:

      I swear I was thinking this exactly!! Also, that no amount of makeup in the world will help her cracked-out face.

      Cracktini, anyone?

      Oh, crap. I just realized that my parents will be spending a few days in L.A. towards the end of the month. I hope they rent a Humvee, just in case they cross paths with The Cracken.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Izzy – If they’re going to be there for the Labor Day Weekend, a Hummer is DEF the vehicle to rent. (Unless Blohan will be celebrating in NY.)

        I’m open to Cracktinis – it’s almost noon here. ;)

      • Izzy says:

        Cheers, my friend!

  39. maggiegrace says:

    This get-up is a new low, even for her.

  40. Michelle says:

    That dude behind her in the header pic is all sorts of fabulous. Love it! (MK would be in love with him)

    Now… off to read the article and comments :)

  41. Masque says:

    Wow, that last photo just screams HERP DERP!

  42. claire says:

    Why does she not own any nice clothes? Did she sell them all for crack or something? At some point, she was making good money.

  43. hello says:

    Hate those shorts.

  44. Fashion Spy says:

    Argh! How does she have a Birkin!? Drives me nuts that people like her and the Kardashians have beautiful Birkins!

    Look at that self satisfied smile on her face … ugh

    Hideous outfit too …

  45. judyjudy says:

    Nice hat.

  46. jaybone says:

    You know its a known fact that this tired bitch and all the other famewhores dont really shop the bags are usually empty,unless there out getting free shit again cause thats all losers like Blohan ,Kardashian, and the like only want free shit..in fact they expect things to be comped to them all the time…Lahan and her moma are some real fake broke bitches……

  47. Kat says:

    OMG I can’t stand that cracked-out squirrel…empty eyes, bloated face, a 50-year old prostitute addicted to meth

  48. hillbillyinthecorner says:

    What she do ? Couldn’t find were she dropped her cloths last night and borrowed some of the thingie thats carrying her “water bottle” .
    My granny carried a big purse like that and I used to laugh at her all tell her that she carried her life it it …Now I have to eat my words cause my purse is just as big as my grannys and I carry my life around in it , you know just in case of emergency . hell I could live a month off off what I have in it…even a spare pair of underdrawers just in case of accident….
    OHHHHHHHHHHH ! now I know thats her whole life in thoses bags…liquer and drugs in one and her whole room in the other…they way she has it with her at all times…Hell most times the slave/assidents with her is carrying another bag or too….We’re just going to have to start calling her a Hollywood Baglady…….cause thats what she looks like…

  49. Snowpea says:

    HER HANDS ARE BLOODY DISGUSTING!

    Freckly, chewed, dirty and mottled.

    She has poxy legs. And a major case of the cankles.

    Her hair extensions need a good conditioning.

    She’s not wearing any knickers OR bra.

    Her double chin is hideous.

    Her lips look inflated enough to explode.

    Her shorts look like she stole them from the charity bin.

    But mostly, she is such self-important, low rent, trashy, white supremacist, uneducated, self-entitled, sociopathic narcissist that I weep for the state of humanity.

    And to think I used to defend this slapper *smh*

  50. phlyfiremama says:

    I seriously thought that was Brett Michaels when I first saw the pic, before I saw the headline. Oh my.

  51. Dawn says:

    Just a train wreck..