Here are some photos from last night’s LA premiere of Total Recall. The ads keep playing during the Olympics and I just think, “Eh.” It’s not that it looks actively bad or anything – I think I would actually enjoy seeing Kate Beckinsale in her role in particular. But I just don’t get why they remade the original when the original is… actually really good. Like, the original Total Recall is one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best films, in my opinion. I guess we’re supposed to be jazzed that a “proper actor” like Colin Farrell is in the lead, but from the trailer, it doesn’t even seem like Colin was jazzed with the remake either. Anyway… back to the photos…
Jessica Biel wore this pink Christian Dior. With pockets! And lots of gaudy jewelry. And she fixed her hair a little bit. Look at that… no more bangs trauma! I have to wonder… Biel recently said that she and Justin haven’t set a wedding date yet, and I kind of think Jessica won’t get married until her unfortunate bangs are completely grown out. So, I do like the “side-swept” whatever you want to call it. And her hair looks healthy, and her makeup job looks pretty. Basically, everything from the neck up looks fine. As for the Dior… it’s cute. It’s sweet. The pockets are too oversized, and the cut of the dress is not flattering on Biel’s body. And there’s too much jewelry – I think Biel should have gone without the necklace. Overall, it seems like a “prom” look. And I wonder if Justin styled her.
Kate Beckinsale wore this hideous Armani Prive. Kate loves a long gown for any occasion (it’s her “thing”), but THIS gown? It’s awful. And it’s all about that terrible, cheap-looking print.
Colin Farrell and his sister Claudine. Claudine is pretty, but that’s an awful dress and those are cheap-looking shoes. Colin looks meh. My biscuits are all, “Blah.”
Photos courtesy of WENN.
That pink dior dress is hideous. The material is way to heavy and clunky (and looks awful) and them hem line either needs to be shorter or longer. That tea length just makes her look short and squat.
And the pockets are way to oversized. Just awful all around.
The material looks heavy and make it look like a coat instead of a dress if you’re only looking at it in a quick glance. Actually, if it’s in a long sleeves I would never guess that it’s a dress.
Rhea, you have left me with nothing to say. THIS exactly.
ditto. she should just give up now. please. 🙁
Yeah, it does look like a coat. It’s too heavy.
Is it just me or does that hem look wonky? It’s been hemmed for her but not pressed after or something. It makes it look even thicker, like a coat. Not to mention the stitching is gathered. I think that’s what is throwing me off the most about it actually.
The dress marerial and thickness/size of the pockets reminds me of fondant. It looks like a cake.
ITA. Way to ruin a great body.
I feel like the dress might be acceptable on someone REALLY thin and tall-maybe Kidman?
It just looks wrong on Biel. I seriously envy her body (her muscle tone is insane) but the one downside of that really athletic body is that prissy baby pink dresses don’t really work on her. In fact, anything too frilly seems to look awkward on her.
I think her body type limits her styling to a more sporty/simple dress cut. Her hair and makeup looks great though.
Yep, Kitten ITA. Being really muscly can make you look a bit like a drag queen in the wrong dress. Her arms are too defined for the girliness of it. It would look better on a tall, skinny, blonde ice-princess, you’re right.
I agree completely with everything you said.
I think the dress could *possibly* work on someone like Michelle Williams or Marion Cotillard, but Biel sucks the life out of everything.
I’m trying to figure out what that fabric is — it doesn’t have much drape, but it isn’t completely stiff, like organza — but anyway, it’s a pretty color. That’s the best thing I can say about it. For some reason, it looks unfinished.
I like the top part of her dress, all of it actually, but the lenght, and the way her nails mirror her shoes. What I hate is the necklace most of it.
She looks the best she’s looked lately with the major exception of the boob pockets. (And the necklace looks like a tangled mess!)
Just MEH, and awkward looking all ’round.
The dress is fantastic as could be expected from Dior. The fabric looks really expensive. It doesn’t look good on Biel, but that is not the dress’s fault.
I surely believe that many here have a problem, when they see a good dress. 😀
I like Kate’s dress.
I agree, Kate’s dress is interesting and does not look like they made it out of suit material. Also, though she is the worst dressed, colin farell’s sister is the prettiest woman among the three. I will never understand how somebody only passably goodlooking as biel gets to be a star. why is that people find Kate beckinsale so good looking
Me too. I think it’s a good choice for a science-fiction premiere. I can’t say the same for Jessica Biel’s dress… ugh.
I do, too, and I think it’s super-appropriate for Total Recall’s premiere (or any sci-fi movie, as MJ noted)…unlike Biel’s pink nightmare.
ouch that pink dress looks so uncomfortable
Jessica’s hair isn’t bad (no bangs!) but I don’t like the necklace or the dress, the length is weird. I like Kate’s look though..
Theres way too much fabric on Biel. Makeup is light and pretty though. Could have done without the Forever21 pearl necklace.
So funny, I thought the necklace looked cheap too, so unnecessary and bleh! Her hair is beautiful, but I don’t like the dress at all.
Jessica’s hair and make up look nice, but the rest of her styling is hideous.
Kate is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, why does she dress like that?? It’s horrific.
Beil looks awful. I don’t even know where to start. The dress looks… Chunky? (as if there’s too much thick fabric maybe) The length is awkward, the accessories don’t work and what’s with that split?
I kinda dig Kate’s look though! It’s different & kinda interesting. Nice, different and unusual?
I don’t hate it. I like the shape of it… the print isn’t great, but so much better than Jessica’s.
horrible everything. the styling is gross, bad shoes, necklace doesnt match the mod style of the dress, the 80’s Dynasty shoes dont match the dress, the earrings are too much with the necklace, the nails are too matchy with the shoes, and gross on top of that.
why does she go from constantly understyled (she never wears necklaces or good earrings or good shoes) to WAY THE HELL OVERBOARD???
I love Jessica’s dress but on someone else. Oh, Kate, What a disappointment!
awful. both jessica and kate. really, really, terrible.
This girl has no class and no style.
Jessica reminds me here of a perpetual tomboy trying to look girly for the first time. It ain’t working. The pockets ruin the silhouette. Silky hair, nice earrings, fugly necklace.
Don’t like the print of Kate’s gown, but the left side of the bodice is interesting. Her updo is messy.
Colin’s sister desperately needed a stylist. As Eve mentioned, bad hair and foundation, and a big WTF from me for her dress. It’s hideous. It looks like those filthy rags that mechanics use to wipe car grease off their hands.
Kate looks like Worf’s date to a Star Trek premiere with that integrated sash.
Dear God, what an unfortunate dress. It makes her hips look sooo wide. And the fabric is so bulky. It honestly is one of the uglier dresses I’ve seen. The pockets just make it thicker and wider, and the part around her bust? It’s like little cups to hold snacks for later. Have to shake hands, but are holding a sandwich? Well no problem- she can just put the sandwich in her bust pockets.
It’s like Pepto Bismol and a winter coat had a baby.
Eh. I mean the overall look of Jessica is good but that necklace kills it all.
Biel’s dress looks like a bridesmaid dress. The kind that makes you question your friendship with the bride.
I don’t like Biel’s dress and shoes. The hair is ok. Kate’s dress is ugly.
Perhaps it’s just me (in which case I won’t have to share), but Colin’s new “boring” vibe gets to me in a good way. This is the transformation I long to see when I get the gossip that a bad boy is soon to be a daddy. He is one of the blessed few men who may have actually allowed his new role to make him a better man. And I’d say he’s probably still a freaky animal when horizontal (or in any other position), but just more selective about such things because he has a family and future to protect now. Maturity can be an aphrodisiac, too. I’m not used to it yet, but it’s starting to suit him.
I dont share, honey. lol
Big necklace AND big earrings…no. Her bangs look so much better though.
I have to say I’m disappointed in both dresses. It would have been good for them to wear something edgy and sexy for the movie. Colin looks good; his suit is just too shiny.
I wish Colin would stop doing all these remakes. Go back to actually acting.
I wonder if he regrets giving up Cronenberg’s Cosmopolis to do this movie (the arthouse vs the boxoffice). I hope this is the big hit he was looking for, he is an interesting guy to watch.
The occasional shiny suit doesn’t offend me, but so many men are wearing them now that it’s just overdone. Black suits especially have the potential to look like garbage bags. Exhibit A: Colin Farrell.* Exhibits B – ZZ: Jeremy Renner’s entire Avengers red carpet wardrobe.
*now I have to go bang my head against a cabinet as punishment for saying something negative about Colin Farrell.
Don’t think anyone looks good here. I’d like Kate’s if it were a solid color I think.
That pink monstrosity-WHY? It’s covering up her killer body. Side note- this remake is gonna suck hard.
wow Jessica’s dress is really hideous, but her make-up and hair actually look really nice.
What’s with Colin’s sister? Making promotion to the mobile phone? A bit phoony…
I think the dress could have worked if she had put her hair up and not over-accessorized it to death, it’s giving me a Grace Kelly vibe. Kate B’s is just so wannabe Vegas showgirl, tacky. Colin Farrell’s sister is super pretty, I actually like her dress but then I’m a fan of sack dresses and tie dye.
I like the concept of Biehl’s dress & the color is lovely. I just would have chosen a different fabric. It looks like a cardboard cut-out. Keep the pockets please.
Dresses with pockets. Why? No one ever actually USES the pockets, as then the dress would bulge weirdly at the hip. So instead you have these weird useless ugly pockets of horror. We, as a people, need to break away from the dress-with-pocket plague. Seriously! Posing with your hands in the pockets of your dress… it’s never cute.
If you’ve not yet gone through puberty, you get a pass.
Pink is NOT her color; she definitely is not the sweet innocent look.
The necklace makes f*ckall sense w/ that dress. shoes dont make much more sense than that, either. this girl has no idea how to accessorize.
Well, I guess I’m in the minority because I really like the pink dress. I do agree the fabric could be a little lighter. But I even like the color.
Kate’s dress, awful. I’ve never been an Armani fan. Is it quilted? Looks like a bedspread in a bachelor pad. Don’t understand why Hollywood goes crazy over him.
Wait, is that real crocodile?
@JulieM – you are after my heart, and we are possibly the only two who like this dress and styling and colour. The only thing. I would change are the shoes. Too heavy for such a heavy fabric gown and midi length. Would have put her in Jen Aniston style strappy sandles to balance the dress and jewellery.
Ditto your opinion on armani – why???? I feel like he was sent on earth to torture me. Seriously don’t get the love for him in Hollywood.
LAK: Well, we’re not the only two who like it but we don’t have too much company. I agree the shoes are too heavy for the dress. I think they’re Louis Vuitton (too lazy to look up the spelling.) Jessica’s dress is from Raf Simons first Haute Couture collection for Dior. The critics raved about it. I like the pockets, although I will concede the boob pockets are a little odd.
Armani sucks. Never got the appeal.
There are two worse things than Claudine’s shoes and dress: her hair and the foundation that doesn’t match her neck’s skin tone.
Riiiight??? She looks, and I say this quite seriously, as if she came straight out of any south Jersey mall near the shore. Crunchy hair, dark as sin skin from a bottle, tie dye dress and lip liner and over plucked eyebrows. Whew! That’s a whole lotta Jersey, and I don’t just mean her dress!!
Aw, really? Not a fan of the dress/styling either but I think she’s really pretty!
The dress is wearing her. This poor soul is clueless when it comes to style. And if Justin did this, he is clueless too.
This!!!! Like they took it off the rack and shoved her in it. Like “look Dior, so wear it” No alterations to fit her body at all. Take in the bust and waist so it doesn’t fall forward and shorten it 4 or 5 inches and it might actually have been cute. Or put it on Cameron D. ( sadly that is the first name that came to mind that could have pulled this off).
It’s a shame, Dior ain’t the same since Galliano got the boot.
And is it just me or are they both uber dolled up for such a movie premier?!
Jessica’s hair looks much better and her makeup is okay, but the dress really sucks.
Kate can always recycle her dress as a Halloween costume…
Very Hilary Swankish & that’s not a good thing. Is Justin to blame for this?
Love Kate, but her dress reminds me of the movie, “Anaconda.”
Looks I’m in minority. I really like the contrast of the pink colour that screams fluffy and heavy material and structured silhouette. Perhaps the necklace is too much.
Why oh why does she insist on doing these horrific things to her styling??? The dress, on it’s own, while ugly and way too much thick fabric, is fine. Then she adds that necklace, the earrings, and HER NAILS are some awful french manicure with COLOR! No. No. No. (OH, THEY MATCH HER SHOES! NO GIRL, NO!!!)
Ha ha, one just has to laugh that she says JT styles her and ever since that comment was made she kept on coming out styled more hideously with each appearance.
Her face and hair are gorgeous.
Jessica looks ridiculous. No doubt Justin picked out this dress while wearing one of his Mr. Rodgers sweaters. Thank god she got rid of those bangs but I’m still not a fan of the hair. Why does she always look like she’s trying too hard?
In contrast, Colin looks like he couldn’t care less. Maybe because he knows this movie will bomb.
the dress reminds me of those old heavy curtains…with pockets. I just dont get some of the styles these designers come up with. Its almost like they make the most hideous thing, put their designer label on it and see which celeb they can get to wear it.
Aside from that, JB just bores me and her upper lip when she smiles freaks me out.
Its like she has a sausage implanted in there, totally unnatural.
Jessica doesn’t know how to dress for her body. This dress is doing her no favors. It’s atrocious. I think her stylist hates her. Her hair and makeup look nice though. But that dress. Ewwww
All of the dresses are hideous and why is his suit so SHINY? Looks cheap and worn.
Jessica: love the pink Dior hate the shoes
Kate: hate the dress love the makeup
Colin Farrell: just say no to the shiny suit, just say no to remakes
I love Jessicas dress, except the pockets. She looks great and her makeup is lovely. The other two dresses are completly awful, what we’re they thinking?
Jessica looks like she is about to jump off a cliff in that last picture of her. 😉
Leave off the necklace.
I like it. Does a woman with a great body need to show off ALL the goods ALL the time. It’s a refreshing change from all the spanxed out sausage casings that the stars seem to favor these days.
I can’t understand the hype around Jessica Biel. The girl is nothing special. She’s not unattractive but she isn’t eye catching in the least bit.
If the question was posed to me, like the heading(s) in some of the other topic threads: “…would you hit it?” I would state that: “When it comes to Jessica Biel…. Yes, yes I certainly would!”
Boob pockets, no.
I know! It’s not like she’s a flatsy patsy who needs a boob boost – just seems odd that someone would design a dress that way.
Are those cupholders in the bodice?
I also think the pink dress is hideous, from the over-sized pockets to the weird tit-flaps at the top. Exactly what are those things supposed to be for, to catch her earrings if they fall off?
Kate’s dress isn’t too bad, rather interesting. At least she can pull it off.
I really like Claudine’s dress. I’m not huge on her shoes, but they’re not extremely terrible.
love the pink on her, but HATE that dress.
The hair and makeup are good.
I hate Kate’s dress more then anything!!
Barbara Billingsley wants her prom dress back …
I DO NOT LIKE THAT DRESS!!!!
ugh! It’s hideous, the shape, the unflattering form, oh were do I start!
The colour is the only thing pretty about it though. A short little mini without being complicated would have been perfect on Jessica.
The dress and shoes are hideous. The rest of them, not as bad, but that one chick’s shoes look like they’re from Payless.
That dress is sooooo ugly! She should of gone nekkid! Seriously rather see her in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Jessica beil needs to steal Jessica albas wardrobe stat.
Terrible dress. She has a fantastic body she should really work it to her advantage. I don’t see the point of this remake either. It’d see it if they gave it a new twist but I have a feeling it may be a play by play of the old and I never see the point. Saw the original. I’ll pass.
Fishilips + bad nose job + awful fashion taste= disaster.
My CB Swan Song for today is…
This is the ugliest effin dress I have ever seen!
Jeeeeez she is so BLAND!!! If she teamed up with Michael Vartan, they could make beautiful beige babies together.
Is Kate up for the reboot of Species?
Jessica’s dress is okay, not great, and I would either wear the large earrings or the necklace, but not both. YES, her hair looks immensely better with bangs swept to the side, thank you so much !! She is really very attractive, just get those bangs out of the way. She looks very nice in soft pink. I just think the body of the dress is rather large.
Claudine’s dress, on the other hand, is terrible, looks like tie dye and too washed out for her. Her shoes aren’t doing her any favors either, not good. Kate’s dress isn’t bad, but she could do a lot better than that. I find it a bit too gaudy and over the top, shadowing out her own beauty too much. You want to wear the clothes, not have the clothes wear you. Jessica actually looks the best of the three women, but her jewelry could be more understated.
Jessica and Kate are THE MOST BORING women in Hollyweird.
I just get nothing from either of them. PLUS I wouldn’t have the faintest clue what Kate has been in.
Some people are hanging onto their fame with their fingernails. And Jessica’s lips are very distracting since I saw a picture of her at high school and she was all gums.
Next!
That dress should be on a dark-skinned woman. Looks terrible on her. Hidden bangs are an improvement.
Snake-skin dress on Kate looks like it was made from a left over pattern from a sci-fi movie. Terrible cut, terrible print. And I LIKE her.
SO, fashion-fail for both. I’m shocked how often this happens. Maybe they should run their outfits past the Celebitchy comments prior to the event?
That dress could have been really cute with those shoes if she had a very tidy updo and either no jewellery or a plain string of pearls.
The dress is ok but the necklace ruined it. And Kate WTF!! That dress is hideous.