Jessica Biel loses the bangs, goes with a fancy belly shirt in Berlin: cute or fug?

Good lord, I’ve never found all of these actors less attractive. That’s the problem with this Total Recall remake – Colin Farrell simply doesn’t have chemistry with Kate Beckinsale or Jessica Biel, and the women don’t have chemistry with each other, and Jessica looks like a wax figure (and she has the personality of a wax figure), and Kate looks like she sauntered out of an old-timey saloon/brothel. They all seem like they were in Berlin to promote completely separate projects, and they just chanced upon each other for a photo shoot. The only thing Kate and Jessica coordinated was footwear – and I really believe that was an accident.

I can’t find the designer IDs on these dresses right now, so let’s just analyze the looks. Is it weird that I hate Kate’s more? Kate’s dress is somewhat flattering, and God knows I love a jewel tone… but the whole ensemble just looks so cheap to me. It’s just a knee-jerk reaction: I dislike it, and I can’t really explain why. As for Biel’s two-piece, a cropped belly shirt and a tiered skirt… it would have looked better as a one-piece. And the skirt is too high to actually make it look sexy or anything. It just looks weird. But I will Jessica extra credit for doing something with her bangs (which Timberlake hates) and going back to a flattering hairstyle. But why does she looks like a robot?!

Last thing: why am I completely “over” Colin Farrell at this point? His haircut really isn’t that awful, he’s in shape, and his jeans look great on him… but I still feel nothing. Is it just a situation where my “Hot Irishman” love/lust has been fulfilled by another? Shouldn’t I have room in my heart (and loins) for both Fassbender and Farrell?!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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55 Responses to “Jessica Biel loses the bangs, goes with a fancy belly shirt in Berlin: cute or fug?”

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  1. bella says:

    jeesh…you’d think jessica and kate would at least try to act friendly…how awkward…jessica looks much better without the bangs, too…

  2. missworld says:

    Jessica looks really pretty here….

  3. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I actually think Biel looks less terrible than she usually does. Sorry but that’s the largest compliment I can afford her.

    I like the dress (2-piece?)-the color and style is better suited for her than the frilly crap she usually favors.

    • Memory30 says:

      Thank you!!!!!! I agree.

    • Genevieve says:

      @ O Kitten…

      I agree with you, perhaps a BIT more enthusiastically, lol. To me, Jessica Biel is “taupe”, not Jennifer Garner.

      However…LOVE the fact that she’s lost the bangs….they drove me batsh*t. She really is one of the loveliest girls around. Why hide that perfect face? MUCH better. Oh, and I’m sure that Justin “The Word and the Way” will be SO pleased. Hehehe :D

    • beyonce's bump says:

      @ TOK I really love Jess’s Body, I like that she has this mix of subtle muscles and curves….pretty much the ONLY thing I like about her though…smh

      • Chatcat says:

        Oh b.b I am with you…she has the best bod in Hollywood…from the neck down. I think she lacks the facial features to be beautiful as well as lacking the personality to override the lack of features to be beautiful. Oh, and she definitely lacks acting talent…but damn her body is bangin’!

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      @Genevieve-she is the DEFINITION of taupe. Her face can be very pretty at times, at other times I find it to be rather harsh. There’s something not quite balanced about it.

      @ Beyonce’s Bump & Chat-her body is OFF-THE-HOOK. Her arms and the ass-WTF?
      Definitely my inspiration, although I’m not sure I could ever get that level of muscle tone. A lot of props to her for the bod, that’s for sure.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Her body is killer! Don’t think I’d want the face. I might kill innocents for that ass though.

        Last year when we were living in Toronto we stayed in the same building as the cast and crew and the sound stage was next to the tents.

        it’s cool, they come to the show and we get to meet them, as with every other star I’ve met, they are just people. I am not fazed anymore, just interesting to see and hear the real them.

        So far, Salma ia winning in the gorgeous department in person. And with no damned makeup on!

    • TheOriginalTiffany says:

      Btw, do any of you tailor your outfits to the city you are in?

      Should I do a more conservative dress for premiere and after party in DC? So problematic when you have limited wardrobe and shoes travelling!

      I hate Kate’s bodice, she looks like a purple bar wench from her tiny waist up!

  4. wonderwoman21 says:

    I don’t understand Jessica Biel’s “beauty; her nose is too angular and whittled down, very Michael Jackson-esque, and even though her lips are full they have no real appealing shape and just look bloated and swollen. She’s so overrated, and her dress has the colors and appeal of mass produced art that’s used in hospital waiting rooms.

    • yoyobaby says:

      Jessica Biel is beautiful. Though her personality is ruins it completely.
      Charlize Theron had her nose whittled down -matter of fact you can see the alar wedge scars – Charlize’s nose has been narrowed. Now no one bangs on about not “understanding” CT ‘s beauty because she is talented and most people like her personality.
      Biel has no talent and no personality. I guess it is not all about the looks.

      • wonderwoman21 says:

        I think her personality and lack of talent affects her work, but I honestly do not think she is beautiful. Aside from her bloated mouth she is very plain. Charlize Theron’s nose isn’t as angular as Biel’s, but her talent does back up her looks as someone who doesn’t just get work based off their (boring) looks.

  5. Voodoochic says:

    Credit where credit’s due, Biel’s makeup looks great.

  6. Aria says:

    Kate looks old. I mean she’s beyond beautiful but her stylist dresses her like a woman reaching her 50s. She can do so much better.

    Jessica is just mew

  7. Chatcat says:

    Me poor Colin…stuck between two stiff mannequins and having done a remake of a sucky ass movie. You look a wee bit traumatized, so go get a pint or two and come back to Philly for a visit and we’ll take care of things for you. Oh and if you want to drag along any other Irish guys (uh hum, Fassy), please feel free to do so. I’d (whoops I mean we) will certainly set you to rights :)

  8. Nessa says:

    From the neck up, Jessica looks good. Oh, and I like her shoes. But, everything in between is awful. She just cannot get it right.

    How awkward is it between Jess and Kate? There is nothing there… Like, they can’t even pretend. Bizarre.

  9. JudyK says:

    Jessica is GORGEOUS. Life is not fair. Wah.

  10. Cermander says:

    Jessica Biel is beautiful.

  11. Mettel Ray says:

    I think her stance has to do with the wind.. holding her skirt at place so it wouldn’t go flying? Not that I’m defending her.. or maybe a little because it’s the best I’ve seen her in YEARS!

  12. bug says:

    What are you talking about?

    Biel looks great here.

  13. salamanca says:

    Jessica looks really good here.

  14. constant says:

    I spent so much time staring at Jessica’s dress now. It is see-through, isn’t it? Is she wearing red underwear, or is that the pattern of the fabric?

  15. anne says:

    Never liked the bangs – too heavy. She’s a beautiful woman with a fabulous body and always looks to poised. I think she looks fine and seasonally appropriate.

  16. MollyB says:

    I feel like I would have killed to have that belly-shirt-dress for one of my barbies back in the early 90s. My Ski Chalet Midge would have rocked it.

  17. bagladey says:

    She’s always boring.

  18. Viola says:

    wow, jessica’s shoulders are broad

  19. atorontogal says:

    She looks pretty here. I won’t go on about her looks because she knows she’s pretty. I kinda dislike people who buy into their own hype. I like her shoes. But something about this chick bugs the crap outta me I don’t know why!

  20. Lindy says:

    I think Jessica looks gorgeous here–perfect light and flirty late summer look. And thank GOSH she has ditched those heinous bangs. They were the worst.

    That purple dress looks pretty amazing on Kate Beckinsale, too. And why isn’t Colin Farrell doing anything for me here? Huh.

  21. stellalovejoydiver says:

    Both dresses are hideous and extremly unflattering in the boob area.
    Jessica´s look saggy and Kate´s look just weird, because she´s wearing a push-up, but the dress is covering them up in a strange way.

  22. debbie says:

    i think that colin is just mad that he didn’t get the
    “don’t forget to wear your blue suede shoes” memo in time.

  23. Ramona Q. says:

    Jessica’s dress: I see dentist’s office wallpaper. I wish the neck/arm holes area was less severe, and a bit asymmetrical to go w the rest of it. And in a different color and print.

  24. anthea says:

    i like jessica’s dress!

  25. Boromir's bytch says:

    Jessica is using the Keira Knightley pose in all these photos and it doesn’t work for her. She needs to stop. Maybe she should switch to the Kate Bosworth one toe back pose. That might help.

  26. RHONYC says:

    i think she may have some hair redemption yet. this suits her 1000% more than the fringe.

    Beckinsale’s waist is sick. i’m going on a tightlacing binge g*dd*mmit! ;-)

  27. lori says:

    What’s wrong with Jessica’s arms? THey look too long or like they are just hanging there. And I think they all look a little embarassed….and no wonder.

  28. Reece says:

    I hate their shoes. Hair and makeup are nice on both.
    I don’t like the length of Kate’s dress but I love it otherwise. I think it would be better full length and maxi-like.
    Jessica’s dress is pretty but cuts her off at the midriff and makes her look stumpy.
    Colin Farrell as “hot guy” has never done it for me so…I find him interesting on screen and in interviews.

  29. Winter says:

    I think Jessica actually looks pretty for a change I don’t generally think she’s pretty or beautiful. Like I know she supposed to be considered beautiful but and she has the features to make her beautiful but there is something so average and uappealing about her. Her looks are just so overrated for someone who consider so beautiful, but this is the best she’s looked in years the hair , the makeup, even the dress is okay she just looks really good.

  30. Jenn says:

    They all look like they have to take a poo.

  31. erica says:

    I think Jessica looks gorgeous here! Not crazy about the shirt part of the dress, but I LOVE her with those bangs off her face…

  32. Cathy says:

    I don’t care for either dress. Jessicas dress looks like bathroom wallpaper. It’s not a good looking dress at all. The neckline on Kates dress is awful. I just went and took a second look at it and all I can say is ewwwww. The dress is horrid. They need to fire whoever picked out those dresses. Yuck.

  33. Migdalia says:

    You can’t even compare Ferrell with Fassbender…I’ve never been “into” the former, career or attraction wise.

  34. mercy says:

    So glad to see the bangs off her face. Same goes for Olivia Wilde. Both are so beautiful and bangs downplay their beauty instead of bringing it out. Wish I looked good without bangs …

  35. stephanie says:

    she looks amazing. what a bod.

  36. Nina says:

    Colin Farrell is a hot piece of ass… even if he is past his prime. They’re all gorgeous and have great bodies, but I think both Kate and Jessica have terrible style. Not just here, but all the time. I’m so sick of seeing Kate in leggings and high heels with her hot-rollered-hair. And Jessica wants so badly to be taken seriously as an actress, that she always goes with the mature outfit and misses the mark completely. Ugh!

  37. Camille (The original) says:

    Jessica looks like a robot. Kate looks lovely but the shoes don’t go with that dress. And Colin has never really done anything for me, even though I have tried my darnedest to find him attractive :( .

  38. Nessa says:

    No! Remember how we have to praise Duchess Kate when she does something right? Well I think that applies to all women who have hit-or-miss style.

    Without those bangs she looks great! She has such a pretty face, I’d almost forgotten that she has eyes that enchanting color!

    Go girl!

  39. DB says:

    Biel looks young, fresh and attractive in these pics. A much more open and friendly and hip vibe going on there.

    If she would lean more in THIS direction and a lot less in the other, I think that would be pretty cool

  40. Elizabeth Rose says:

    OK, so don’t usually comment, but I could not get over what a complete and utter train wreck this whole affair seems to be. I mean, doing a remake of TR in the first place was such a joke, especially when it seems to be blow-by-blow the exact same story. You can never top the original when you had Arnie and Sharon Stone, I mean come on – that movie is a classic and I think helped make Sharon Stone a star.

    Anyway, they are all dressed so horribly and so dollar store, it’s insane. While the color of Beckinsale’s dress may be alright, the styling is atrocious. I don’t mind Biel’s ensemble, but she’s not really edgy enough to pull it off. Then Colin Farrell has just lost all appeal. Ugh, he seems icky and isn’t that the same shirt he’s worn at several promotional events?… Anyway, this whole thing is a huge PASS for me and come to think of it I’m not even really sure why I am taking the time to comment.

  41. Ella says:

    I’m so glad she ditched the bangs.

  42. Cookie says:

    I don’t mind Jess’ outfit…apart from the fact that her skirt is see through! I hate Kate’s outfit too. And I could never get over Colin. Love him!