Kristen Stewart reveals secret for avoiding paps: ‘You, like, sit low in cars’

Poor Kristen Stewart. She thought she was being so, so smart by knocking out about a dozen major interviews over the summer. She thought she was giving herself a nice little window in between film promotions where she could just chill out and smoke her bong. But instead of a quiet summer, Kristen Stewart was caught having an affair, and all of those interviews she had done before she was caught have now come back to haunt her. I have no idea where this quote originated, if it’s from one of her many magazine interviews that she did months ago or whatever. All I know is that it’s funny and wrong:

Kristen Stewart is a pro at giving interviews but she’s not immune to slipping up! In a recent interview, the actress revealed how she keeps a low profile but you can’t help but think about her affair while reading her answer.

“It’s hard. I don’t want to give my secrets away, but you, like, sit low in cars. And then you go into an underground parking garage and get into another car and then you leave.”

[From Hollywood Life]

Oh, Kristen. So dumb. That’s what I’ve begun to think of Kristen in general, and this affair in particular. People want to ascribe these deep psychological motives to Kristen, trying to explain how it was her innate sense of self-sabotage and her deeply-rooted insecurities that made her screw around on Sparkles. While that might have been part of it (I’m partial to the self-sabotage theory too), I think it’s more of a “Kristen Stewart is not very bright” thing. She isn’t. She isn’t half as clever as she thinks she is, and she isn’t half as clever as other people think she is.

By the way, we’re going to have new photos of Kristen tomorrow, I can feel it. Kristen is due to make an appearance during Paris Fashion Week. She’s the face of Balenciaga’s Florabotanica, and she’s likely contractually obligated to show up at the runway show too. So, everyone is saying she’s scheduled to make an appearance. That should be fun! She was in Paris in the spring for Fashion Week, and she looked like ten kinds of hell back then. I wonder if she’ll shower this time around?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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60 Responses to “Kristen Stewart reveals secret for avoiding paps: ‘You, like, sit low in cars’”

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  1. lower-case deb says:

    so. we finally found out the truth!
    there’s no biscuit-diving, not really.
    “Mr. Sanders was just… like you know…. avoiding the paps by f*cking low, i mean, ducking low in the f*cking car, like you know.”

    • FreeSpiritedGirl says:

      That’s a bang on! You put it just like Kristen would have said. 🙂

    • CTgirl says:

      Her parents didn’t do their little precious cupcake any favors by letting her quit school and be “home schooled”. Interviews like this just prove that KS really is intellectually just one residual away from living in a trailer in the Valley.

  2. marie says:

    And there you have it.. No sex, it was her and Poopert trying to avoid an interview-well him more so than her..

  3. Brown says:

    I can think of one car in particular that she should have sat a litttttle lower in….

  4. Eleonor says:

    Too bad she didn’t remember this tip when she Minicoopered Rob.

    • Liv says:

      She should have changed cars before picking up Ruprick 😉

      Seriously, she can sit low in her car all she wants, but as if the paps didn’t know her mini cooper before her affair!

  5. Jenny says:

    That is laugh out loud funny considering the photos in the car!!

  6. stellalovejoydiver says:

    Oh the irony.

  7. Toni says:

    She’s a f-cking idiot.
    I see Miss I don’t sell myself like other actresses is selling herself at the Paris Fashion Week. Oh so original of her.

  8. Charlotte says:

    Can we go back to having some mystique about actors? Back before we were flashed butt cheeks and given blow-by-blow updates of every movement? Interviews and picture spreads weekly? Would Marilyn Monroe be quite so enduring if we had been able to read her twitter updates?
    BTW, I am NOT comparing KS with MM

    • Linda says:

      I agree, there is no mystery left anymore. We know every detail of their lives and as fun as it is to talk shit about people we’ll never meet, it takes away the mystery.

    • ORLY says:

      I agree that all the personal info takes (a bit) away from our enjoyment of their ‘art’. I used to love Adam Levine until I read a few of his interviews.
      We live in an era where information is readily available on just about anything and anyone. There is fierce competition for celebrities to remain relevant and the masses are easily bored.
      Personal lives have become just another form of entertainment. It’s the price of celebrity.

      • ABC123 says:

        Celebrities get paid enough that they should have some expectation of integrity and intelligence. If you lost your buzz over someone’s sleeze – it’s understandable. Skeletons always come out – why should celebs’ stay hidden? If you conduct yourself like an a–hole people are gonna know.

      • ORLY says:

        I don’t expect them to stay hidden, nor do I want that. I was just elaborating on the poster’s comment, and explaining how it affects my enjoyment in a small way.

        I’m all for celeb gossip, hence being a regular on this site for years now.

    • bns says:

      I wish we could go back there, but I feel like that ship has sailed. The days of mystery and intrigue in Hollywood are over.

  9. Annie says:

    Hope she recovered some of the weight she lost. It really freaked me out. She’s always been tiny, but healthy. You could never see bones until now. Her face looks thin too.
    I did feel bad for her when I saw that. One mistake can really mess you up. You can tell she’s been paying for it tenfold.

    Still, don’t take her back, Robert.

    • Linda says:

      She doesn’t look any thinner to me. These pics give the illusion that she’s thin because of the way her hair is done. Its pulled back so tightly it makes you notice how long and thin her face really is.

      • JS says:

        You’re kidding, right? Look at the pictures of her in New York just after TIFF. Her head is way too big for her body (as in unhealthily so). She’s emaciated. Whatever she’s done, she’s been paying for it and, I suspect, at some level, will continue to do so for some time to come. On the other hand, if she turns up tomorrow looking better fed and/or at all happy, I think we can safely conclude he has indeed taken her back.

      • kingkayski says:

        I was in TIFF for her OTR premiere ,and i can tell you she looks scary skinny,she just really dressed good that’s why it doesn’t look as bad,but ,she really lost a lot of weight.But she seems to gain a little of it back in her picture arriving in Paris today,good for her.And regarding the shit that she said before that seems to have relevancy to the shit that shes suffering today,i wouldn’t put too much thought into it,i wouldn’t want to sound a gossiping old pea hen nitpicking every goings on in her neighbors life.

    • MSL says:

      She doesn’t look any thinner. If you look at old pics of her before the affair, she looks just as thin. Especially in the twilight movies. She’s always had a thin face too.

      • Jess says:

        Kristen’s bones never showed before. She’s always been thin, but her clavicle could never cut you before. You can see her bones now, and most of her body is pretty noticably skinnier to me. I was a fan. She’s definitely lost quite a bit of weight imo.

      • Annie says:

        See her Comic Con pictures and compare with TIFF. Side by side. She did lose a lot of weight. People were just dazzled with her awesome make-up and clothes, which were distracting indeed, on purpose.

  10. FreeSpiritedGirl says:

    LOL! Just LOL!

  11. Aria says:

    “I think it’s more of a “Kristen Stewart is not very bright” thing. She isn’t. She isn’t half as clever as she thinks she is, and she isn’t half as clever as other people think she is”


  12. Janet says:

    What. A. Dimwit.

  13. mln76 says:

    Totally agree the worst kind of idiot one who thinks she’s really f-ing brilliant.

  14. Linda says:

    I stared at that second pic of her for like 2 minutes I swear, just staring at those ears and chin. Reminds me of Beavis and Butthead, and I was really scared of Beavis and Butthead when I was little. Now I’m scared of Kristen Stewart too.

  15. Annie says:

    I still think she wanted to get caught, and now that she saw how awful it became for her she’s regretting it.

    I was looking at some Comic Con videos and pictures… Her whole attitude towards Rob was of total rejection. She snaps at him, sits far away, doesn’t touch him, poses awkwardly. She was so over him when she got together with Rupert. And now that she hurt him she wants him back. Selfish! Run, Rob.

    Am I the only one who still can’t believe her choice of man? So random! I mean, yeah old and married of course, but her SWATH director? Super random. I never would’ve imagined that.

    • Jess says:

      I remember thinking during Comic Con that Kristen seemed so annoyed by Rob. She was really short with him and he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Cut to a few weeks later and she’s in a minicooper with her director looking smitten. I think Kristen was over Rob and too afraid to end it before Breaking Dawn, and then once she got caught, and the breakup wasn’t on her terms anymore, she miraculously loved Rob again. It’s so immature, but I expect nothing less from Kristen. Now, I have no idea what’s going on. I just hope Rob eventually gets wise and finds a girl that loves and respects him. Obviously that’s not Kristen. It may take him a minute to figure that out though…

    • MissA says:

      IA.Kristen is a very messed up person imo.She didn’t expect this kind of backlash from the fans/media,so the whole shit storm scared her shitless.I still don’t think she loves Rob.She wants to go back to him because he is her ‘safe guy’.

      • Annie says:

        You’re so right. The way she hurt him it was like telling him who was in control. She probably wanted him to chase her like he did before, beg her to choose him. But when he kicked her out of his house instead she realized how far she went.

        She’s a narcissist. And Rob fed that and enabled that because he’s a very insecure guy. It’ll be sad if he takes her back. He needs to wake up.

  16. efa says:

    lmfao just no…

  17. MissA says:

    She is a dumb hoe and I’m really disturbed by the possibility of her having kids someday.

  18. lilred says:

    Kristen’s tips for not being seen in a car #56…
    Keep down low on all fours when giving oral sex…It’s usually harder to tell who people are from he back of their head.

  19. Aoki says:

    LMAO!!! *hot tears*

  20. Stubbylove says:

    F-cking moron.

  21. Mava says:

    This is just cringe worthy. She really revealed who she really is this summer, didn’t she? I was never a fan, but I also never expected her to be this shallow and vapid. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment for her!

  22. another nina says:

    Can someone finally explain to me why is she popular? why? she looks like Jay Leno, she is talentless, not sexy, not smart, not funny…She is a definition of mediocrity. Why is she relevant? How is it possible that she is a subject of any gossip???

  23. CatJ says:

    Grazie magazine has an item that says Rob and she are going to try again but with some rules from Rpatz:
    -separate homes
    -trial period for a month, if Rob is not happy he will leave
    -no speaking of the “affair”
    -putting the relationship before their careers

    I think this is just for movie promotion and it won’t last……

    • another nina says:

      Pattzetto is facing three movies back to back, so ehhhm, when would he even find time for his little skunk?

    • MissA says:

      OK mag is reporting that Kristen is writing poetry for Rob because he always wanted her to write poetry for him.If that’s true I bet its something like this

      “Ummmmm roses are red,violets are f–king blue,my old touchy bodyguard was recently fired because I had f–ked him too”

      LOL,okay I seriously want to know what happened to her creepy handsy bodyguard.

  24. honeybee says:

    Stupid moronic bitch

  25. click here says:

    She is a dumb hoe and I’m really disturbed by the possibility of her having kids someday.

  26. chipmunk says:


  27. Sophia says:

    Oh the irony…

  28. hey hey says:

    Not a good interview but this ” really sit low on cars” sounds really familiar like 2 years ago familiar. Anyway, we should not worry about her being a dimwit and having kids, it’s her problem not ours. Its comments like these that really speaks more about the commenter not the celebrity. sheshh…

    I think Pattinson and her deserve each other. Both like to complain but his on a more charming side. She is the more sulky one and we don’t know about His past either but if he did steal her from his bf when she was still underage then all is fair for both of them. These terms from the tabloids are laughable,,,

  29. Bdwyre says:

    I find Kristen very interesting.

    On one hand she sometimes looks incredibly beautiful and seems to be funny and interesting….someone I’d love to know. Then I read her profanity-laced interviews and realize how arrogant and hypocritical she is and think “why would anyone want to be around her”.

    I guess she just started believing her own hype. She wasn’t this annoying and assy when Twilight came out. However, the more famous she became the more intolerable her behavior…..

    I feel for Rob. I think she has him hooked and she knows it. You can see it in the way he looks her – he is 110% in love with her. As someone mentioned above – I think he is just her fall-back guy. She doesn’t really want him. She just doesn’t want anyone else to have him either.

    I think there’s a line in Twilight (THE worst movie in the history of cinema) about “this is going to end badly” or something like that.

    Well, the only way this Robsten thing can end is badly. She’ll break his heart again and again until he finally tires of her.

  30. Mrs. Ari Gold says:

    So right – she is so DUMB. You can see it in her eyes and face and her acting.

  31. Look See says:

    She’s a proponent for HS education vs homeschooling. She’s not only not very bright, but carried off the worst affair possible. Her fans are delusional in their love affair. She could have killed someone and they would have said, oh- it was really the other persons fault b/c she’s young. Kristen, you need to become accountable and mature. She needs to be alone not with Robert for awhile. I think she was riding on her ego as well as Rupert pumping up head and sexual advances. Her fans treat him like Roman Polanski. Kristen was a much willing participant and I’m sure enjoyed and led the advances. I feel sorry for girls like this who are under the false elusion that being promiscuous and sexually immature – you act/dress like a ho, men will treat you that way until you find yourself in positions in life that make you question who you’ve become. Her handlers and parents never let her really become an adult and accountable for her selfishness. She needs a wake up call. Even her fans do her a disservice by ignoring the blatant mental issues she has and glossing over her transgressions. Celebs need to earn your loyalty and respect and one day 5-10yrs she’s going to get a life changing wake up call that will finally bring it all home. Ala Winona Ryder. Its not cute. Rob, run for the hills. He always was the more mature, honest, integrious and real. Find the right person to balance you out.

  32. rosa says:

    She is one of the kind.Stunning girl.They only girl in HW with bra size 34A who decides for herself who she wants to sleep with.She did unthinkable,cheated on the most coveted man on Earth! Plan gone wrong,everybody suspected him dumping her.She made a choice,she is still in a drivers seat.She has big balls.Kristen got bored with Rob,that is all.Love her