Miranda Kerr & her booty cover Esquire UK: appealing or too airbrushed?

Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr covers the December issue of Esquire UK, and her butt is front and center on the cover itself. Well, no one could ever accuse Miranda of having an extra ounce on her bod, but her butt actually looks much better than this in most photos, right? I just feel like I’ve seen plenty of Miranda’s butt in various positions over the past handful of years, and it usually looks more “real” than this. They totally airbrushed all the personality out of her ass! Oh, and here’s the magazine’s subscriber cover too, which features Miranda’s butt in all its shadowy grace.

Miranda Kerr

On fulfilling male fantasies as a Victoria’s Secret Angel: “We always have so much fun when we shoot and my temperament’s flirtatious, so it’s second nature to me. I believe in celebrating the female figure and embracing what we’ve been given, not hiding that.”

On being outdoorsy: “I spent my childhood outdoors on my grandparents’ farm. I learned to ride a motorbike when I was about six, a little PeeWee 50. I’d climb trees — there was a big weeping willow. We had a flying fox [a zip-line]. I was so fortunate to grow up like that. I really feel that my body craves to be in the mountains or by the ocean or in the countryside.”

She still a tomboy: “I still like to climb the odd tree. Yeah, it’s fun! I like to climb. I find it very rewarding. You feel like you’re going somewhere. I don’t like abseiling, though. I don’t like going down. I like going up. It is though! I got stuck up a tree when I was about seven, and my dad had to come and get the ladder to get me down. I loved to climb all the way up to the top. I must have been a koala in my past life.”

[From Esquire UK]

Hopefully, the rest of the interview is better than these excerpts because I don’t know how interested that the male readers of the magazine will be in hearing that Miranda was a big tree climber in her youth and still enjoys “climb[ing] the odd tree.” Unless she’s doing it while flashing her booty of course. What a weird interview and set of butt shots. The rest of the shoot isn’t that bad though, right?

Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr

Photos courtesy of Esquire UK

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41 Responses to “Miranda Kerr & her booty cover Esquire UK: appealing or too airbrushed?”

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  1. Gracie says:

    Stay classy Miranda.

  2. RuddyZooKeeper says:

    If my husband ever found out her booty was riding a 50 at six years old and loving it, he’d be hooked. I agree that the interview is nothing special, but he’d gobble it up like a cave man. Sigh. At least I don’t hate her for it.

  3. stellalovejoydiver says:

    “I believe in celebrating the female figure and embracing what we’ve been given, not hiding that.” Sexual ojectification in order to sell bras and make it seem like some kind of empowering, emancipated thing is not celebrating the female figure, it´s enlighted sexism and it´s disgusting. I loathe that fucking company so much.

    “But the media’s fantasies of power are also the product of another force that has gained considerable momentum since the early and mid-1990s: enlightened sexism. Enlightened sexism is a response, deliberate or not, to the perceived threat of a new gender regime. It insists that women have made plenty of progress because of feminism–indeed, full equality, has allegedly been achieved. So now it’s okay, even amusing, to resurrect sexist stereotypes of girls and women. Enlightened sexism sells the line that it is precisely through women’s calculated deployment of their faces, bodies, attire, and sexuality that they gain and enjoy true power– power that is fun, that men will not resent, and indeed will embrace. True power here has nothing to do with economic independence or professional achievement: it has to do with getting men to lust after you and other women to envy you. Enlightened sexism is especially targeted to girls and young women and emphasizes that now that they “have it all,” they should focus the bulk of their time and energy on being hot, pleasing men, competing with other women, and shopping.
    While enlightened sexism seems to support women’s equality, it is dedicated to the undoing of feminism. In fact, because this equality might lead to “sameness”–way too scary–girls and women need to be reminded that they are still fundamentally female, and so must be emphatically feminine.
    Thus, enlightened sexism takes the gains of the women’s movement as a given, and then uses them as permission to resurrect retrograde images of girls and women as sex objects, still defined by their appearance and their biological destiny.”
    And always: http://kerrplop.tumblr.com/

    • jinni says:

      This was a good read. For the longest time I’ve been weary of how some people seem to be throwing the word “empowering” on everything; especially activities that have been sexist in nature/origin (ex. pole dancing, sex work, dressing sexy). I know that some people see giving these things a new meaning as a way of taking back the power, but I don’t really see that happening.

      I feel that now that these things have been deemed feminists that now if any woman doesn’t feel comfortable presenting themselves in that way they are ostracized. It’s not that I think one shouldn’t do these things if they really want to, it’s just that it seems that if you question the feminist nature of supporting these things and aren’t that gung ho for them, people in the community think you aren’t progressive enough or think you’re trying to slut shame them.

      I’m all for women embracing their sexuality, it just seems like this “empowering sexuality” thing that is being push doesn’t look so different than same old patriarchal standards that’s been held up since forever. If you’ve notice it only ever been one kind of sexiness that women are allowed to feel empowered by and is pushed by the media and that’s usually the: small-sized, white, young/youthful, abled bodied standard. If they promoted anything other than the same old generic type of sexy maybe it wouldn’t feel so suspect.

      • Jay says:

        Well, you can be a sex-positive feminist without supporting the sexist objectification of women. If I want to go out and have sex with whomsoever I please, or dress in six inch heels and a miniskirt because it makes me feel sexy, or spend time on my hair and makeup in the morning before I leave the house, that’s my call, you know? The idea isn’t that we shouldn’t do those things – the idea is that we shouldn’t be *forced* to do those things, but that we also shouldn’t be forced *not* to if that’s what we want to do.

        I have jeans and t-shirt days and I have minidress and killer heels days. I have days when I want sex and days when I don’t. The important thing is that I decide what I want and that my behaviour isn’t dictated by some kind of artificial societal standard, you know? At least, that’s how I see it.

      • deehunny says:

        @jinni, I was watching a French documentary and they were addressing the issue of “empowering women” as actually pressuring women to be sexualized at a young age.

        Like, you can dress sexy or do somethign sexual because your empowered as a woman and you therefore you should.

    • poppy says:

      good article. the comments were scary though.

      • Havik says:

        Those comments make me want to weep and then die. Seriously. Those HAVE to be trolls, right? There can’t really be people like that out there…right? Ugh.

        Article was great. Wish I could un-read the comments, though.

  4. Miss Kiki says:

    Am I the only person who doesn’t get the fuss about this girl? I don’t think her face is *that* spectacular and her body is good- but she’s a model it has to be. I just don’t see anything show stopping about her

    • stellalovejoydiver says:

      She´s married to Orlando Bloom and great creating a fake wholesome image, and she has the Mila Kunis sexy childface syndrome. And people were saying Kate Upton was plain and boring.

    • Apples says:

      I agree completely.

      I can’t find her even attractive and it bugs me when I don’t “get” something. She is a well known model making $$- many people obviously must find her pretty? Even with the dimples and long legs… I just can’t. At all.

  5. PixieCherry says:


  6. Miss Kiki says:

    I think the Orlando Bloom coupling doesn’t help because I find him exceptionally vanilla. I really just don’t see anything remarkable about her, she isn’t hideous at all she’s just so meh. In fact Kate Upton interests me more than this chick.

    • stellalovejoydiver says:

      I know, I was just trying to explain that the fuss about her stems from her marriage with a former Teen idol and her famewhoring and a good publicist, other VS girls are way more sucessful esp. when it comes to High Fashion.
      I find Orlando pretty dull and she sounds kind of dumb and lame, her fake goody two shoes image is pretty annoying, too.
      I really like Kate Upton, too, she seems like a lot of fun and is prettier than Miranda. In a way she is a rolemodel, because she shows young girls, who want to be models, that you don´t have to be borderline anorexic-skinny like Karlie Kloss to be successful.
      At least Miranda has stopped talking about giving birth.

      • Miss Kiki says:

        I think it doesn’t help that I read the DM online quite regularly (don’t judge me!) and they’re constantly shoving her down my throat. I stopped and really looked her properly a few months ago and realised that I just couldn’t see it.

        As for Kate, aside from being really skeeved out by her association with Pervy Richardson, I find her pretty harmless, do I think she’s the best model in the world? No but because she does look so different to the other girls around atm she’ll be here for a while or at least until another girl is pitched as ‘The new Kate Upton’

        Remember when Orlando Bloom was a thing? Aside from looking pretty in LOTR I never really bought into him being a leading man. He lacks screen presence.

      • Christina says:

        @Miss Kiki

        You’re so right! The DM clearly has a deal to promote VS models and Kerr in particular. Barely a day passes without some obviously posed pap picture of one or more of them with their boring kids, along with gushing prose about how perfect they are, followed by a suspiciously large number of ‘I’m so jealous’ comments. I know I know, why am I even reading the DM?

        Also agree re Bloom. I never even fancied him, perhaps because he looks like the type of man I’d have fancied in my teens, but certainly not as an adult. Just so bland and vanilla. And you’re right – as well as being a crap actor, he has no screen presence at all. Just an empty pretty face. And not even all that pretty. Just like his wife.

      • Miss Kiki says:

        LOL I always ask myself why I’m reading it and yet there I am day in and day out. I’m pretty sure they’ve brain washed me.

        I’m glad I wasn’t just imagining it, she’s constantly on there with Borelando and every time I see her another wave of ‘meh’ floods over me.

        I agree the DM moderates their comments section far too much, I’m pretty sure a lot of them are planted by their very own sub par journalists. I’m convinced the cast of TOWIE ( I don’t know if you’re British cos if not you won’t get that reference)and the Kardashians are also on their payroll

      • stellalovejoydiver says:

        @Miss Kiki:
        Miranda Kerr injecting a B12shoot into Terry the Predator´s ass.
        I give Kate some slack for Terry because she´s 19/20? and only starting out in the fasion industry, maybe she is not aware of his antics yet. Miranda on the other hand has worked a couple times with Terry, she has been working a lot longer in this industry, she is almost 30, married and has a baby, she obv chooses to work with him because she likes working with him, but at the same time she is selling pink coloured books to young girls with the name Treasure Yourself, trying to position herself as some kind of role model for young girls, I find this repulsive and dangerous.

        Considering Orlando Bloom, I was 13 when LOTR came out, so yeah I had a crush on him, but I released quite early that he is kind of lame and bland.
        Even though I kind of like him simply for the existence of this video:
        Eat shit Jessica it´s carrot!

    • Canda says:

      I might be all alone here, but I just love Orlando Bloom. I loved him in LOTR and maybe I’m just too loyal to my Hollywood crushes? I can’t see past it bc I was so nuts about him as Legolas I can’t let it go! I am SO happy he had a baby with Miranda and not Kate Bosworth, that would have been a disaster.

      • Christina says:

        @Miss Kiki,

        I’m Irish so yeah, sadly I’m familiar with the TOWIE gang.

        I think you’re right again: TOWIE, Karkrashians, VS and Kelly Brook, among others, are paying the DM for positive coverage – and lots of it. But Kerr is definitely the worst. Every single day there’s at least one ‘article’ about her – usually involving her hauling around her boring kid (with a suspicious lack of baby paraphenalia) and grinning moronically at the cameras who just so happened to be there – again.

      • NaomiCambellsPhone says:

        You aren’t completely alone, Canada! I have two friends who met him when he was here filming The Hobbit and I couldn’t hide my shrill cries of jealousy ;) I guess people don’t understand us the way I don’t understand people who go nuts over that lizard alien Cucumberwhatever guy.

  7. PixieCherryGirl says:

    srsly !? celebrating the womans body by getting naked not hiding it… as if its a piece of meat ! GOD thats why i hate Hollyweird .. or that way of thinking in general , respect ur body ! dont expose it to fullfil freaking men fantasies …..

  8. hannah says:

    I think she looks great but she hardly has a female figure. She’s tall and pretty much curveless. I am the same way so I am not criticising her, you can’t change how you’re built.

  9. INeedANap says:

    I love (sarcasm) how the cover has a headline about how sportswomen have become the new pin-ups, and then they get a thin super-model, photoshop her even thinner, and then slap her on the cover. Call me when Hope Solo lands an unretouched cover of Esquire.

    • poppy says:

      hey! people with vaginas aren’t supposed to understand irony!
      how much of that article is related to beach volleyball and their lack of pants, not so much the ripped abs?

  10. littlemissnaughty says:

    I find her really harmless and her baby is so damn cute, I can’t hate on her even a little. She’s a VS angel, what is she supposed to say about that? That it’s exploitation? No, she’s not dumb enough to bite the hand that feeds her.

    I do have a question though. Why the blurry “click here” thing? Because her butt is half exposed? I don’t get it, you can’t see a damn thing anyway!

  11. Christina says:

    Without a doubt, the most overrated and overpaid model in the world. Same gormless expression on her boring moonface in every single photo. And her skinny body is disturbingly childlike. And don’t even get me started on how she whores out her kid for the paps who just so happen to be there every time she puts an impeccably shod foot outside her door.

    • Cazzie says:

      Agreed – plus, for me, the real annoying behavior relates to her attempts to be smart and lecture other people about their food choices.

      • Christina says:

        That, and her endless rabitting on about her ‘excruciating natural birth’. So you pushed out a kid, Miranda. Big wow. Thousands of women do this every single day – most of them in far less priviliged circumstances than you – and don’t think they deserve a medal for it.

        And then there were those creepy photos of her breastfeeding (because no woman has ever done that before, have they?) – in high heels and a red satin gown slit to there, and a smug grin on her idiotic face as she gave all her attentions to the ever-present camera, not her baby. I do think Miranda is probably a narcissist.

  12. Really? says:

    She photographs very well, and that is her only talent, so you can’t blame a girl for working it. It’s as old as the hills. Like most over-rated models, she is not very interesting live. She’s skinny, with a stunted lower jaw, and talks like a fish wife. She’s just gotta make that money and let it pile up for when the inevitable moment of old age and insignficance approaches in her career, you know, about that time when you start hanging out with scum like Terry Richardson.

  13. Isa says:

    She has a nice butt but I don’t think it’s naturally that big and round right?

    • Joanna says:

      yeah, it’s not that big and round. she’s super skinny, they prob photoshopped it rounder and bigger.

  14. CharlotteS says:

    I don’t really get all the hate, she’s not saying everyone should get naked, it’s her choice and if she wants to do this and feels empowered by it then props to her. She’s a model for goodness sake, she’s not going to start slagging off her profession!

  15. oivey says:

    She’s pretty but not very bright. She’s got these ad’s running on tv right now, for swimwear…I can’t work out if she was told to read her lines like Captain Kirk but that’s how it sounds.

  16. Carolyn says:

    Not understanding the Miranda disllike. She’s pretty, cute and has a good body. In this era of dull, scrawny, scowling, miserable -looking models she’s a happy breath of fresh air. Doesn’t have to be Einstein.