Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘I won’t do Botox again, I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!’

Gwyneth Paltrow covers the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar. Yes, she’s wearing the same Balenciaga bustier thing that Kristen Stewart wore MONTHS ago to an On the Road screening. I hate to say it, but Goop wore it better, although Kristen gets points for wearing it first! I can’t believe Bazaar would put Gwyneth in something LAST SEASON and something that was already worn by someone famous, to an event that got a lot of press. The whole thing is just so terribly gauche. *sniff*

Anyway, you can read Gwyneth’s full Bazaar piece here. The interview took place in London (of course!) and the piece is really ass-kissy. They call her a princess and a “honey-limbed chatelaine”. Gross. Some highlights from the magazine:

She’s “over” being in London: Having survived her 10th London winter (she got through January by assigning it “international month,” and amusing Moses and his big sister, Apple, 9, with a visiting Italian chef, Japanese anime screenings, and hand-rolled-sushi lessons, no less), Paltrow admits that her dreams of relocating the family to their recently acquired residence in Brentwood, California, are becoming ever more urgent. “Just to have my kids be in the sun every day—picking avocados, going for a swim,” she says. “Even for two years or something, and come back when they go to senior school.”

Turning 40 years old: “I’m at quite a pivotal point: Do I want to go back more into films? Do I want another child? Do I want to move back to the States?” Her wide blue-gray eyes flash me a look of amused self-knowledge. “You can call me a lot of things, but you can’t call me complacent!”

Working with Robert Downey Jr.: “It’s very alive. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about robots or aliens, it doesn’t matter if it’s Shakespeare, if you’re working with someone of that quality, it’s very invigorating as an artist.”

Pepper Potts and Iron Man 3: “There’s a portion of the movie where something bad happens to me, and I lose clothes along the way, so essentially I’m wearing a bra and trousers.” Self-deprecating pause. “There are certain requirements, but luckily I have a good base because I work out often. I just had to not eat pasta and french fries the night before shooting—which I’m terrible at doing.”

Her skin: “I really used to be bad with products, but now I exfoliate every night and use a lot of organic oils on my face,” she confides. (She’s a Sonya Dakar fan.) “And I have a great dermatologist in L.A. who gave me this amazing laser the last time I was there. It’s called Thermage. It’s not invasive. I went out to dinner right afterward and I didn’t look crazy, but it’s quite painful. It feels like someone’s smacking your face with a rubber band that has an electric shock in it. But I would do it again, because I feel like it took five years off my face.”

Contradictions: As it happens, Paltrow and I share a London facialist (holistic queen Vaishaly Patel), which leads to talk of the lifestyle contradictions presented by the high-tech temptations of the beauty business. “I think it’s a mix,” she says honestly. “You know, I use organic products, but I get lasers. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.

Botox & Plastic surgery: “I’ve probably tried everything,” she continues. “I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I’m 50. I’ll try anything. Except I won’t do Botox again, because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!”

Aging: “I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me,” she says. “It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”

Random stuff… Her favorite TV shows: “New Girl and Homeland.” Guilty pleasure: “My one light American Spirit that I smoke once a week, on Saturday night.” Her regret: “Not finding my voice earlier in life.” On 10 years with Coldplay rocker Chris Martin: “We are growing into very similar people. It’s cool, it’s good. It’s not always easy, though!”

Giving advice to girlfriends: “I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I’m very loving and nonjudgmental and I’m not competitive, and I’ve been through a lot. And so they come round to talk about their stuff. I’m a bit of a mother hen. Everyone wants a home-cooked meal and to come over and talk about where they are in their life,” she says. “I love it, and I feel that I have the most incredible women friends, some who are super famous, some who I’ve had since I was four years old. I love it that people will call me up and say, ‘What do you think about this?,’ because my dad was very much that person for everyone in his life. So I feel like I’m carrying on my dad’s spirit in that way.”

Having another kid: “There are some films that I want to do, and I love my business and I want to expand that a lot. We’ll sort of see. I mean, if I want to have another kid, I gotta kind of get on it.” We discuss the domestic cocoon of new motherhood—and weighing the option of climbing back into the maternal nest. “But then you see a baby and you smell a baby!” she says, almost squealing. “And you’re like, ‘Yep, I do.’ I don’t know. It’s a very big decision, so we’ll see. Anyway, I’m not doing it this month!”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

I’m surprised that Gwyneth only name-dropped Uncle Jay – Shawn Carter – Z in this interview and not Beyonce! I’ll admit that I laughed out loud at several points in the interview – like when she was talking about her kids “picking avocados”. My association with avocado-picking is that it relies heavily on undocumented workers working for less than minimum wage, and so I conjured up an image of Gwyneth literally taking her children to an avocado field to play with peasant day-laborers. As for the Botox and skincare talk… yeah, she did look crazy when she was Botoxing. I’m glad she’s admitting that.

Photos courtesy of Daniel Jackson/Harper’s Bazaar.

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158 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘I won’t do Botox again, I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!’”

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  1. Thiajoka says:

    Does she pontificate about everything or are all these recent stories coming from one magnificent interview that she deigned to give the masses?

    • Pretenda Lee says:

      I think that’s just the way she talks: assshole-ish. Also, I don’t see how celebitchy can do a who wore it best between someone who wore an outfit on a red carpet, and this CGI version of Paltrow. Seriously, when exactly did she get a face and head transplant? What’s with the broad wide full face? What good is denying and swearing off botox and fillers when you a-ok the mag cover that gives you honey boo boo’s face shape?

      • cs says:

        I’m just sitting back and waiting for Joan to strike back. Joan is going take her down on Fashion Police.

      • Thiajoka says:

        OMFG, I just walked by my mother’s bedroom–she’s napping while the television is on and barely audible–and there was the damned Goop, lips flapping, with that superior look on her face. Who is it that coined the word “stabby?” Because she is making me feel that way lately.

        Oh, and full disclosure, I actually don’t mind watching Goop act–I love the Iron Man movies, etc. It’s just when she’s being herself that I am increasingly annoyed. I think it’s her disconnect from the reality that most people live that has done it.

    • Nina W says:

      There’s a British slang word, “prat” that always pops to mind with her. It’s kind of hard to translate to American slang, maybe arrogant douche or self-important blowhard, something like that. Anyway every time I read this stuff from her she makes my ass twitch or gives me that “stabby” feeling. She’s learned so much from Jay Z, what a patronizing twit.

  2. Miss so and so says:

    WTF is that Amish wedding veil looking thing on her head???

    • cmc says:

      I dunno but I think she looks amazing in that photo. Ugh. I’ll show myself out.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        Nah, I think she looks nice in it, too.

      • j.eyre says:

        No, don’t go. it’s no fun when you leave. I like the veiled bathing cap thing. And I I think she looks amazing in that last shot. It must be all the avocado picking.

      • Belle says:

        Nope, you are staying! I stopped and looked at that shot for a full minute, I think. It is beautiful :)

      • Bella Bella says:

        I think she looks gorgeous in that photograph too and I can barely stand her.

        I think she was pleased to wear K-Stew’s last year. You know she was all like, “I wear this better than a 20 year old.” blech. goop.

      • Suze says:

        I’m laughing – but I have to agree, that is a beautiful photograph of her.

      • Nina W says:

        No need to leave, that photo is amaze balls. And she did wear that bandaid better than KStew and not just cause of photoshop, it really suits her figure. I may not be a huge Paltrow fan but the camera loves her.

  3. lori says:

    I have to stop reading posts about her…..she makes me stabby.

  4. anneesezz says:

    Who is the woman in those pictures?

    • Pretenda Lee says:


    • Alyssa says:

      Exactly what I was thinking… That hardly looks like Gwyneth

    • kibbles says:

      I was just about to point out how different she looks in the cover photo compared to the last post that contained candids of her visit to GMA. You can see them here:

      Her skin is a shade lighter in the cover photo. Her real hair looks dry and damaged. Her real skin has wrinkles (nothing wrong with that) and is damaged from tanning, smoking, and a poor diet. It’s amazing what Photoshop can do. She looks 10 years younger in the cover photo.

      • annaloo. says:

        Her right tooth is totally chipped too.. they obviously photoshopped it out here (along with everything else) but you can see it in her red carpet photos.. pretty sure this had to have been from her calcium deficiency she talked about a little bit ago. Who in the world gave this woman scepter and crown for advising diet?

  5. BooBooLaRue says:

    Annoying as hell, but what a PR machine trying to make her relevant. I smell a divorce in the wings. . .

  6. MrsB says:

    I think I might be the only one on this site that actually likes her. But I actually like her a lot!

    • ReignbowGirl says:

      Psst! Me, too! ;)

    • Lulu.T.O. says:

      Aw, I kinda like her too. Every now and then though I have to holler “Bitch PLEASE!” Love only goes so far…

      • Carol says:

        I do , too! Whenever she says something eye-rolling, I just find it amusing – she grew up in a very successful family; her reality is not my reality, but she is harmless. I’d hang out with her.

      • Belle says:

        This is pretty much how I feel as well. ;)
        Some of the things she says make me roll my eyes and wish she would shut up… but usually I like her well enough.

    • Annette says:

      Me too. Even though she gets plenty of eye rolls from me, I find her entertaining in her own way. GP lives in her own bubble but she’s harmless. I reserve loathing for the celebs on here who are genuinely morally corrupt and harming others.

      And I think her website and cookbooks get a disproportionate amount of hate. If you don’t agree with her diet advice, then just don’t read it. She may not be a doctor but she’s still entitled to share her experience and opinions.

      • Arlene says:

        Me too, I think shes hilarious and don’t get why she irks people the way she does. She’s delightfully pretentious, but so what? She also strikes me as someone you’d have a blast with while sinking some serious red wine.

    • ya says:

      haha – ya I do too – I don’t really get why so many people hate her. Most celebrities are just as rich, just as privileged — she just doesn’t try to hide it.

    • Dara says:

      She’s always been one of my favorite actresses and I find her to be super cute. Just got her new cookbook too-food looks great! Hoping I can recreate with some degree of success. Lol

    • bns says:

      I’m indifferent about her, but the hate is ridiculous. Literally, every single blog and commenter hates her.

      Unless she’s done something awful that I don’t know about.

    • Miss M says:

      I like her too, but sometimes she makes it hard to like her, :)

    • bluecalling says:

      … and apparently you are not alone. count me in.

      i got goop when it first started and still save all of them. i think it’s fun to peek in on the other 5-1 percent. it ain’t me, but man i would love to do that life for about a season.

      and like someone else said, our realities are quite different but can’t begrudge her her life, fun and how she makes it work for her. she really does not sound preachy unless you think she should preach (but just something else). and i really don’t think she should so doesn’t bother me.

    • Nina W says:

      I have nothing against her, She seems like a lovely person but some of the things she says, my eyes start literally trying to roll out of my head. I can only take small doses. Otherwise I end up wanting to strangle someone with my yoga pants. Or pelt them with avocados.

  7. mkyarwood says:

    lol, what’s with the swimming cap?? She name dropped Jay Z because they’re doin’ it.

  8. Hannah says:

    Wow, I’m quite surprised she admitted to Botox!

    • badrockandroll says:

      Let’s be honest … the only reason she admitted to Botox is so she can pontificate as being above it. I can’t wait to hear Joan Rivers’s rebuttal!

    • Barbara says:

      She had to use the strongest version of the botox ever because you can still see results of it. Bitch please!

  9. V4Real says:

    She looked crazy… correction she is crazy.

    Who’s that chick on the cover? She is photoshopped so much that you really have to stare to see that it is Goop. At least they made her hair look as if it has some life to it.

    • Nina W says:

      Kind of looks like Cameron Diaz in that photo. Almost unrecognizable as Paltrow, way over shopped.

  10. decorative item says:

    Why is there another story about this person? Must we know each and every painful thought she has? Wait! Is this all part of some evil plan involving world domination and gluten free muffins?

  11. oliveo says:

    Two Goopy posts on Celebitchy today? :””’(

  12. Marty says:

    How old is she now? Not to sound bitchy but I think she only looks alright. I mean I don’t look at her and think “Wow, she looks really good for her age!”

  13. OhDear says:

    Damn, why must she hate on Joan Rivers? That was just mean.

    • Anna-fo-Fanna says:

      Oh, please. Joan is constantly hating on everyone; I think she can take a snarky remark or two in return.

      • MisJes says:

        Yes, but Joan’s isn’t intentionally hating on anyone. Her commentary is tongue-in-cheek, blunt but good-natured humour. Goopy is just taking a stab here.

        Many times I’ve heard Joan make self-depricating jokes on Fashion Police and Joan and Melissa about her plastic surgery; one time she bought a gift for her grandson, and said something like she went bought herself a new nose, it’s only fair she bring something home for him. It was hilarious!

      • ya says:

        huh? I feel like of course Joan Rivers is intentionally hating on people – not necessarily a bad thing, but that’s what her comedy is based on. She makes a thing (which I think she would admit to) out of hating on others to compensate for her own insecurities.

      • MisJes says:

        Joan is a well-respected female comedienne, and helped to pave the way for the Tina Fey’s and Amy Poehler’s of the industry. She has had a long and successful career spanning decades.

        Calling out celebrities in a brash manner is simply part of her comedy. And please, she is always the first one to laugh at herself and makes jokes at her own expense. This is not an insecure woman.

    • Nina W says:

      I love Joan, I’m a faithful Joan-Ranger but Joan is a bitch. She makes nasty, catty remarks all the time and has for years. Love her or hate her, she pulls no punches. I doubt she’ll be offended by paltrow’s comment and she may well come back with some sauce of her own on Friday.

  14. andy says:

    Didn’t her mother let it slip that Gwyneth had work done?

  15. Immy says:

    Im shocked that she smokes, even if it is just one a week, considering how health conscious she seems to be. Not to mention that her father died of cancer!

    • Itsa Reallyme says:


    • Georgina says:

      She isn’t health conscious. If she were, she wouldn’t hop on every fad diet that catches her fancy. She wouldn’t starve herself into severe vitamin deficiency and osteopenia. This woman is trying desperately to project an elite, clean lifestyle that the rest of us should aspire to, that’s it. She’s selling us something, and I’m not buying.

    • Amy says:

      Does anyone really believe that she only smokes one cigarette a week? I think that’s a lie. It’s probably one pack a week. She is all BS. Meanwhile, she won’t let her kids eat anything. Ridiculous.

    • Nina W says:

      Well I don’t really believe her. I mean she says stuff all the time but I think she says things she aspires to not things that are actually happening. Like only one cigarette a week, and starving her kids. I bet neither of those things happen. Her kids eat normal food and she’s sneaking in cigs here and there.

  16. Meggie says:

    Her only true accomplishment is being able to fit both feet in her mouth….
    And still talk….

  17. aims says:

    I saw coldplay in concert a few years ago. Chris was very humble and grateful with the audience. Everything that come out of Qwyenth mouth is the a complete opposite of what I saw that night. It also pisses me off that I paid my money to feed this woman’s lifestyle.

  18. Lulu.T.O. says:

    That is so not her own hair. And she totally uses Botox or Dysport. Liar liar Amish wedding veil on fire.

  19. Norman Bates' Mother says:

    She is so annoying. I wanted to say something bitchy about her but I am too tired after reading these quotes. I get it – she is perfect, we all do not stand a chance…

  20. LoL says:

    She looks good in that photo-shoot.

    • prayforthewild says:

      You mean the photo-shop? Not trolling your comment, but she looks 20 in these pics…

    • Pretenda Lee says:

      Photo shoot? You mean in that CGI depiction? The photo shop is industrial strength, and does not exactly inspire one to rush out and buy her diet cookbook and workout tapes, or whatever she’s hawking as of late – afterall, if she needs that much photoshop, it can’t possibly be working.

      • LoL says:

        What is your issue with photo-shop? Every single celebrity is photo-shopped… Even some red carpet photos get the touch ups.

      • Nina W says:

        Please it’s not like she looks like a troll without photoshop. I agree it’s too much shopping for my taste but these would still be nice photos of her without the enhancing. The most egregious one is the cover, she’s almost unrecognizable.

  21. MAP says:

    Is this in advance of Iron Man 3? I don’t understand how/why these magazines keep interviewing her. Lifestyle guru?

  22. diva says:

    I guess I keep clicking post about her cause I still find it hard to believe the stuff that comes out of her mouth. She’s on a different planet.

  23. prayforthewild says:

    I now know what makes life interesting; finding a balance between cigarettes and tofu.

    “Self-deprecating pause.” – “she says honestly.” – Hahahaha! This is journalism? No.

  24. RHONYC says:

    ” I’m very loving and nonjudgmental ”

    bwah! bwahahahahahahahahhahahahhaaaaa!!! :lol:

    am i the only one who looks at that net over her face and envisions a white Hefty bag instead?

    jussayin. 8)

  25. Crumpets and Crotchshots says:

    I love it when stars say they are against Botox. Translation: They are pure botulism from the neck up.

  26. Sam says:

    If that’s not the height of vanity – going through an admittedly painful procedure that is wholly medically unecessary just to look a measely 5 years younger – I don’t know what is.

  27. mel says:

    I am 46 and folks all the time think I am in my 30s. I have a very basic skin care regime and have never used anything beyond moisturizers. I think the lesson is if you take care of your skin from a young age (like I did diligently) it pays off. I think years of smoking and poor diet has really affected her skin.

    • Georgina says:

      Definitely! I drink tons of water, wash my face with Cetaphil, and moisturise nightly with grapeseed oil, and I think my skin looks pretty damned good. I don’t think anyone needs $500 face creams to age well.

    • minime says:

      My mum is 55 and everyone thinks she is on her 40′s. She never did anything special apart from not going to bed with her make-up. She smoked till her mid-20′s, but never after that. She did some crazy diets sometimes but most of the time she didn’t really care. I think some people are just blessed with genetics. Others have to really take care of every small detail…like me, who were not lucky enough to get the awesome genes from my mum!

    • ya says:

      ya – she looks a bit like a smoker. Also I think being blonde and fair skinned + growing up in California must have had an effect.

      • Georgina says:

        You can grow up in Cali and avoid skin like Goop’s. Her problem is, for all her bluster, she doesn’t practice healthy lifestyle habits at all. She’s admitted she chain smoked through her younger years up until she found out she was pregnant with Apple and now has the “occasional” cigarette. She starves herself, and is vitamin-deficient. If she had taken better care of herself with a balanced diet and proper skincare and quit the cigs, her skin would not be in the condition it is now.

      • LAK says:

        Also, she’s not naturally blonde. She’s a brown. A mousy brown that doesn’t fall in the spectrum of blonde as some dark blondes can be.

    • rianic says:

      CeraVe and retanoids have been staples since I was 24. Dirt cheap, that CeraVe. My derm and plastic surgeon both recommend it. At 37, I’m always carded and get asked about my college classes (we live in a uni town). Twice a year, I get Botox. I have always had forehead lines bc not only am I nearsighted, I talk w my eyebrows. If done correctly, w few units, that stuff is AMAZING

      • YuYa says:

        I just got botox for the first time last week, and the difference in my frown line and the crowsfeet is AMAZING! Within a couple of days my frown line all but disappeared. I’m 45, I figured I waited long enough and botox is definitely something I will continue to do 2-3 times per year.

  28. Happymom says:

    My favorite quote is when she describes herself as “very loving and non-judgemental” and that’s why all her friends come to her for advice. LOLOLOLOL. Could she be any more full of herself?? Even if it’s true-who the hell describes themselves like that??

    • annaloo. says:

      Dear Gwyneth — I need advice regarding a friend who stole a script from my home and slept with Harvey Weinstein to get the part. Could you cook me a meal using only the fish that swim north in the first 5 inches of water off the eastern coast of Iceland and the barley harvested during the fifth month of the Festival of the Tiger from Bhutan and give me some of your sage wisdom about how you’ve avoided competing with friends?

      Thanks a bunch,

  29. Georgina says:

    If a person is loving, warm, and non-judgemental, that will usually come across without a person saying it about themselves. Let all these famous friends you have sing your praises, Goop. It comes across as trying too hard to convince us you’re not an elitist snob when you insist so much.

  30. GossipG says:

    Starting beef with MRS.RIVERS?This bitch must be so hungry she trippin..I blame it on her being very hungry

  31. Sweet Dee says:

    LOL. One cigarette a week, my ass.

    But she looks pretty good when you give her fake hair and photoshop her to the nines, right?

  32. Guesto says:

    Her regret: “Not finding my voice earlier in life.”

    Yes, that’s such a shame. Think of all the wit and wisdom we’ve missed out on.

    Poor old Goopy. No matter what she says or wears or does, she’s still the empress with no clothes.

  33. BengalCat2000 says:

    I wish Chris would hook up with Wynona.

  34. annaloo. says:

    CLASSIC Cathartic release for Celebitchy readers! Here’s a link to Celebrity Deathmatch: Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Winona Ryder! It felt GOOD watching this!

  35. Green is Good says:

    -ahem- If I may;

    Dear Elitist snot/aka/ Goopy,

    Take your stab at Joan Rivers and stock it up your pretentious ass. Joan Rivers was a trailer blazer for all female comedians. Your greatest achievement was getting an Oscar that you did NOT deserve.

    Jealous much, Goopy? Joan is an icon, you are a has-been, desperate to cling onto relevance.


    The lowly Peasants

  36. Reece says:

    LOL Kaiser you can have an avocado tree in your backyard. I imagine once they move to LA we’ll get Goop stories on how to keep the squirrels out of the organic avocado and nut groves in your backyard. How easy it is to shoot up to Oregon for a day and pick blueberries.

    WTH is with the veil?

    • buckley says:

      Yep. We have one in our building and the squirrels are constantly nipping at them and making them fall, ruined. Surely something that only happens to us peasants.

  37. Lisa says:

    I really hope she doesn’t have a baby because I cannot handle hearing about the inevitable “how to properly raise your baby” books she’ll write.

    • Susie Q says:

      Aren’t her eggs a little past best before date by now? Can’t be bothered to look up her age, isn’t she late 40′s?

      • Becky1 says:

        Nope, she’s only 40.

      • Nina W says:

        Hate to burst anyone’s bubble but 40 is old when you’re talking fertility. Don’t let celebrities fool you, they can afford fertility treatments, surrogates and whatever, maybe GP still has the baby option open but at 40 most of us don’t.

  38. Ag says:

    “Women in my job”? What does she do exactly? Haha

  39. velourazure says:

    she sounds like a spoiled only child who grew up believing the world revolved around her. someone needs to put a sock in her mouth.

  40. Itsa Reallyme says:

    “I just had to not eat pasta and french fries the night before shooting—which I’m terrible at doing.”

    Color me confused, but I thought she just got done telling everyone that she’s “allergic” to gluten and potatoes?

    • lambchops says:

      This is what is so cray about her. She talks out of both sides of her mouth. She contradicts herself constantly to the point I wonder if she doesn’t have a problem

    • lucy2 says:

      My first thought too.
      She only speaks what she thinks people want to hear, but then forgets what she said and contradicts herself.

  41. lambchops says:

    I can’t remember more than three months going by without her on a magazine, promoting a book or film. Has she heard of over exposure? Can she just let us try and miss her a little bit? If you have all the money in the world and the option to do your art, your films, what is really behind all the book writing and guru making, the constant need to be perceived as wonderful by the public? I would love to hear a shrink analyse her. Any psychologists here?

    • Nina W says:

      Actors are notoriously insecure, needy people who seek constant validation from others, no shrink required.

  42. teehee says:

    Good god this lady cant open her trap without a coil of poop coming out.

  43. starstiletto says:

    gp is boring boring boring; a colonized harpy of the partriarchy who’s fast becoming the hag of fairy tales

  44. kellyinseattle says:

    Except Joan Rivers has a sense of humor and an affordable clothing line.

  45. Apples says:

    She looks amazing in that white band top and black slacks outfit!

    What’s wrong with me?! I love posts about her- she always makes me laugh instead of getting annoyed.

  46. Susie Q says:

    Instead of botox she is just going to go with photo shop from now on. Look at the difference in her face from the magazine cover to the pic of her in the other post on her today. Forehead wrinkles all gone, she made them leave a few crows feet in the cover shot so people will think that’s what she really looks like. Pretentious bitch.

  47. Diane says:

    Look out GOOP for the next Fashion Police. Joan has been kind to you in the past … not now! Go get ‘em Joan.

  48. Sassy says:

    Kaiser, in California avocados grow on trees. You could go into your yard and pick avocados if you had a tree there. And then you make a sandwich of avocado, freshly picked tomato, mayo and salt and pepper on sour dough bread.

    • Sam says:

      ooh, don’t you start with bread on a Goop thread. That’s carbs. Evil, delicious carbs.

    • Nina W says:

      Nice one Sassy, I like fresh avocado, a little lime juice, salt, pepper, fresh tomato, red onion, turkey and Swiss cheese on sourdough or dill rye. Lightly toasted, now I’m hungry, thanks GooP.

  49. RobN says:

    It’s like they took all that is insufferable about her and stuffed it all into one giant interview.

    She’s a sausage of insufferability.

  50. I Choose Me says:

    I don’t hate her but damn she can be annoying!

    It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal.

    That’s right girl, never miss an opportunity to name drop. *rolls eyes*

  51. lucy2 says:

    Name dropping Jay Z when talking about aging? Hilarious.
    Finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu? Dumbass. And no way she’s smoking 1 a week. Please.

    Can you imagine having to actually interact with her, and listening to her blabber on about her kids hand rolled sushi lessons in the “international month?” Good Lord.

    Like a few people upthread, I’m sensing something fishy about the California talk. I could see a split coming.

  52. annaloo. says:

    She’s not bugging me anymore.. if I don’t focus on what she says, if I remember how good MY life is, and how I enjoy MY life– I don’t need to worry what her sanctimony says. I refuse to be part of what she walks all over.

  53. Nev says:


    don’t be dissing my Joan Rivers!!!

    the gall.


  54. littlestar says:

    Thinking about it, she actually does have a lot of girlfriends. It makes me think that maybe she is a good friend to them, especially since she’s been friends with some of them for a long time (Cameron Diaz comes to mind). Although, she did screw over Winona Ryder, so who knows…..

    • Apples says:

      Yes, but, Winona Ryder is CUCKOO. Just because she is pretty don’t forget how Winona went so off the deep end it went public. I can’t imagine what went on privately before sh!t hit the fan.

      Madonna is the other one, and we all now know what a b!tch she is. In fact, Madonna can’t seem to hold on to any of her friends long-term.

  55. Ginger says:

    I actually like the last photo- oh boy! Someone shoot me! Lol!

  56. scarlett says:

    Yes, she is completely irritating and grating but I think she overcompensates because the one area of her life that is beyond her control is the state of her marriage. I don’t think her marriage is on solid ground and part of the reason for the move is because a split is eventually going to happen. I almost feel sorry for her. Yes, her table is set with the finest linens and her kitchen is stocked with organic ingrediants and she can boast about having the butt of a 22-year old stripper…but her husband completely ignores her. Sad.

  57. Memphis says:

    She’s still talking??

    For your information Mrs. Gwyneth we had international month too!!! We all went to the international house of pancakes with our fancy selves. So BOOM.

  58. Beatriz says:

    Just when I thought this woman couldn’t get any more insufferable and arrogant this comes out. I’m actually amazed, I mean seriously, how can you say those things about your friends coming to you for advice with a straight face without feeling like a complete smug a-hole.

    • Jayna says:

      That was cringeworthy. I have a feeling Chris has a hot, young, twenty-something, free-spirit girlfriend on the side, who isn’t self-absorbed and neurotic and is his “tour girlfiend,” and what keeps him sane in his marriage to Gwyneth, having to listen to her wax on about her latest obssession day in and day out. He’s off on tour every other year The kids will get older and then he will be gone as her neuroses escalate. He’s a rock star, after all, even if geeky, and she never seems content in her marriage, like something seems to be missing, to me, about them when she talks about her marriage. I think it’s treading water and he’s there more for the kids at this point.

      • Nina W says:

        Well that’s a pretty mean thing to say given no proof. It’s not easy for anyone to have a successful marriage and IF Chris Martin is so dissatisfied he has a girlfriend he should get a divorce. No on should ever stay in a bad marriage for the kids. It’s not like being around two miserable fighting parents is good for kids.

  59. Maria says:

    nonjudgemental?!?!?! GOOP??

  60. LouLou says:

    I think people started getting really irritated with her when she referred to Billy Joel as William Joel.

  61. Luxe says:

    I will not let her ruin Iron Man 3, I will not let her ruin Iron Man 3, I will not let her ruin Iron Man 3…

  62. dcypher1 says:

    Why does goop aslways have to name drop the carters its so annoying. Bey and jay never mention her in interviews. Its like shes obssessed with them and they are all like gwyneth who? Goop wouldnt even give a crap about them if they werent rich and famous and just normal.

    • Jayna says:

      I know. It’s bizarre. Before that, she always namedropped Madonna in interviews when they were friends. Madonna this, Madonna that.

  63. Laurie says:

    Her approach to life “is very internal”. Huh? I don’t even know what that means. Logically, that means the opposite approach is “very external” – and I don’t know what that means either. I’m pretty sure it’s just one of those annoyingly pretentious things that annoying pretentious people say in an attempt to fool people into thinking they’re introspectively intellectual. But mostly, it just makes me think they’re nonsensical, boorish gasbags. But that’s just me.

  64. Marybel says:

    I’d take 3 Joan Riverses over 1 Fishsticks. Joan would make me LOL. Fishy just makes me barf.

  65. 2cents says:

    Can you imagine what she’s like waiting for that one weekly cigarette? Good lord.

  66. carol says:

    come on, Joan rivers is fabulous

  67. Adrien says:

    Of course, it is easy to pick on Joan Rivers since she’s self aware of her cosmetic procedures and makes fun of it. I doubt if it was really Joan who’s on her mind. I bet it was Madonna or her friend Tracy Anderson who she really wants to give as an example of ‘crazy face’.

  68. Susie (1 of 3) says:

    I think it would be great if the white veil picture was the go to photo for Gwennie, just like the pink coat pic was for Lindsey Lohan. A lot of posters upthread truly like it and I think it really captures her essence.

  69. Nina says:

    I love GP. But she is totally either still Botoxing or using fillers. I think: Botox.

  70. teehee says:

    She calls herself a mother hen, the one that ALL women turn to, that everyone loves to confide in, whom she cooks fabulous hand made meals for?? JESUS you brat!

  71. Emily says:

    Maybe one day women willbe asked questions about other things than their age, weight, skincare and boyfriends…
    Not really attributing this to Gwenyth as that seems to be all her life is about…
    Maybe one day we will learn about someones interests or passions other than shamelessly promoting whatever shit product gets them a quick buck….

  72. snappyfish says:

    “I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I’m very loving and nonjudgmental and I’m not competitive.”

    the goopster could teach a class in the art of the humblebrag.

  73. anne says:

    actually there are lots of avocado trees in California, they are overflowing with avocados. I always read on this site about how snobby GP is but every interview Ive seen with her she seems really nice