Lindsay Lohan trying to crack shenanigan her way out of starting rehab this week

Is it just me or has Lindsay Lohan been relatively quiet the past two weeks or so? It seemed like we were worried about the Cracken’s Coachella Crack Party for nothing, and we’ve barely heard a peep from her since then. I’m not saying that I believe she’s behaving herself or anything – of course not. Lindsay is to crack shenanigans like a cracked-out moth to a crack pipe flame. I’m sure she’s probably committing a felony a day, but right at this moment, we haven’t heard anything about it. YET.

TMZ had a story last week about Lindsay “blowing off” something or other, insert obligatory “blow joke” here. But I didn’t think much of that story, considering it’s from a crack shenanigan from like four years ago – it’s about that time that Lindsay literally hit a baby in her car! But nothing will come of it, trust me. Meanwhile, shocking absolutely no one, Lindsay is trying to crackie her way out of her rehab start date:

Lindsay Lohan has just four days to enroll in her court-ordered rehab but has exclusively learned that she may be trying to figure out a way to manipulate the system and not start her rehab on time.

“The judge told Lindsay that she had to be enrolled in the rehab by May 2, but it’s possible that her defense attorney might try and say that she is ‘enrolled’ with her actual check-in date later than that day,” a source close to the situation said.

“She could say that she is scheduled to go to rehab at a future date and has everything arranged with a rehab place, but she might not physically be there on May 2.”

Lindsay, 26, notoriously has prolonged her punishment in the jewelry theft probation violation case, switching from her long-time attorney Shawn Holley to New York based lawyer Mark Heller, but ultimately agreed to the 90-day rehab treatment.

The court agreed to allow Lindsay to enroll in a treatment center in New York, but a source close to her told that she’s employing even another delay tactic.

“Lindsay is now saying that she wants to go to rehab in California and she’s looking for a treatment center, and she thinks that this might help her buy some more time too,” the source said.

As previously reported, Lindsay had her attorney argue for the May 2 start date so she could attend the Coachella Music Festival and she has been partying non-stop around the world leading up to her scheduled rehab start date.

[From Radar]

For the love of God. I thought that the judge and the DA’s office had to sign off on her choice of rehab facilities and that the decision had already been made? And don’t get me started on letting Crackie Von Cracks-A-Lot choose her own rehab. How dumb will the California DA look if Lindsay gets to keep playing this same game? You know what she wants, right? She wants to be able to party her ass off on her 27th birthday in July.

Meanwhile, did you see that interview Tom Brokaw did ahead of this past weekend’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner? Brokaw called out Lindsay Lohan in particular, saying that she was the reason he no longer attended the dinner, because dumb famewhores ruin it. Well, Lindsay called up TMZ to cry about it, claiming that Brokaw is “picking on her” and that he’s “mean”. Tom F—king Brokaw, man. Lindsay is trying to elicit a pity party out of TOM BROKAW calling her a dumb famewhore (which is like saying water is wet).

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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56 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan trying to crack shenanigan her way out of starting rehab this week”

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  1. Nemesis says:

    Well surprise surprise.

  2. marie says:

    say it isn’t so..

  3. brin says:

    A crackhead trying to get out of rehab?
    Noooo! I read that she was going to blog about being in rehab…leave it to Lilo.

  4. DailyNightly says:

    I think she will not show up for rehab, they will sentence her to jail and she will be out in a matter of hours or days due to overcrowding. Sentence completed.

    • grabbyhands says:

      Yup. I can’t help but think that this may have been the plan all along.

    • Lady D says:

      When all her charges were added up, she was looking at several months in jail. If she was to only do 25% of her time, it would work out to 90 days instead of several months in jail. With early release the judge said 90 days will be the minimum she will do.

  5. Caitlin's mommy says:

    Is anyone surprised?

  6. spugzbunny says:

    In the pic with her and Charlie (and more Charlie I imagine), look at her fingernail. Ring finger on her hip. What unholy ming is that! She’s like an advert for curanail.

    • Dutch says:

      That finger isn’t smashed up, it’s just her manicure. The recent trend is to do the nails on the ring finger different than the rest. Don’t ask me why, but that’s the thing.

      • TG says:

        I hate that trend. I go for the classical look nearly always. More tan one color on the nails is tacky. I like what Michelle Rodriguez did a few years back. She took jail over community service. I would do the same.

  7. lucy2 says:

    If she’s not in a rehab by the start date, I hope they haul her off to jail. Enough already.

  8. A says:

    This week is like the second coming of christmas. Ohh, the excitement!!!

  9. SydneySpy says:

    The law is an ass.

    The way this girl looks….I can’t even say. A family member is the same age, but I am gobsmacked by the difference in their appearance. Lindsay’s skin, hair, nails, lips etc. are embarrassingly awful. She looks grubby. I actually feel sympathetic towards her, and hope she goes to rehab, cuz at least help can be offered to her. Whether she genuinely accepts that help is another matter entirely. What a waste.

    • Hakura says:

      @SydneySpy – That would be great, but unfortunately, won’t happen. LL decided there’s nothing wrong with her, she doesn’t have any substance abuse problems, including alcohol.

      The whole justice system is just picking on her. ¬_¬

  10. Belle Epoch says:

    Usually when someone has to go to rehab they are whisked away IMMEDIATELY so they don’t have time to go overboard and run through every drug in the book while they still can.

    And usually rehab patients aren’t given the luxury of picking the time AND place they will go.

    So what exactly does Dina have that everyone is so afraid of? LL can show up with a phony out of state lawyer (rumored to be father of her dealer) and still pull tricks like this?

    Anybody know the back story here?

    • judyjudy says:

      It’s called “California”.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Oh no, it’s called “LA and famous.”

      • janie says:

        Who is paying for rehab? Who’s paying for the impound? Where is the money for all this stuff coming from?

      • the original bellaluna says:

        janie – A combo of CA and LA taxpayers have paid plenty, what with all the LE, judges, court personnel, etc, forced to deal with her cracknanigans.

        I don’t know who has paid for her multiple rehab trips (this will be #7 or 8, I believe) – maybe one of her johns? – but she’s supposed to foot the bill for this one herself.

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Belle – Rumor has it WO’s got some pix or video of an underage Cracken with one or more VERY powerful person.

      Given Blohan’s recent…”profession” that’s not very difficult to believe. What makes it even easier to believe is how much cracknaniganery she pulls (illegal and otherwise) and still skates.

      • judyjudy says:

        So shouldn’t WO be charged with possession of child pornography? If she’s keeping pix as blackmail she’s just as guilty.

        How awful.

      • Belle Epoch says:

        The Original Bellaluna – makes sense to me! Did you see the pictures of her with her latest sheik or whatever he is? His face was so cruel and unsmiling. And those bruises on her legs! You have to wonder what situations she has been in and why she finds them acceptable. Ugh.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Ladies – WO would only be charged with child pornography if one of the blackmail victims had the huevos to stand up and claim “blackmail” and attempt to press charges – and even then, unless the statute of limitations had run out, he’d be in even more trouble. It is, indeed, awful. (There’s stuff about how WO filmed and MiLo was upstairs listening/watching and all that mess. It is truly sick.)

        Belle Epoch (love the handle, btw) – I think *ahem* SOME of her johns are rougher than others, and the bruises are telling. I can neither imagine, nor do I want to, the degradation involved.

  11. WendyNerd says:

    Those asshole DAs thinking they have the right to control what rehab she goes to and when… Who the fuck do they think they are? THEY weren’t in Mean Girls. They’re so lame. Don’t they realize that Lindsay is a uber-talented child prodigy who needs to be accommodated to better foster her brilliant, Oscar-worthy awesomeness? OBVIOUSLY she can’t be expected to fulfill their stupid “sentence” thingie that they’re oh-so-unfairly inconveniencing her with unless she finds the proper rehab. She’s already been magnanimous enough to go along with this silliness already, the least they could do is allow her as much time as she needs to find a rehab that will have people who will a) remind her every day how lovely, talented and special she is b) give her all the Adderall she needs and c) let her leave whenever she decides to (among various other privileges and services she is owed). She’s the star of Mean Girls, for crying out loud! How can she be expected to allow them to have any say when it’s very likely they’ll just fuck it up? When they’ll very likely send her someplace where she won’t be allowed the simple courtesy of having staff that will kiss her ass and tell it how special it is WHILE they’re wiping it? I mean, you know they’d totally send her someplace that doesn’t do that because they’re stupid and lame and mad that they’re not her. Only the brilliant, amazing, future-Oscar-winning angel visionary Lindsay Lohan can be trusted with choosing what is right for the brilliant, amazing, future-Oscar-winning angel visionary Lindsay Lohan, as she’s proved countless times. She just knows things that regular non-geniuses like us and the stupid bullying DA and Tom Brokaw could NEVER expect to grasp. Anyone who can’t accept that and expects her to do things like cooperate with something as trivial as criminal sentencing is just stupid, mean and jealous. It’s so unfair because it’s her world and she’s been kind enough to let us live in it. For that we really owe her so much.

    • ncboudicca says:

      I imagine this to be almost exactly what she’s thinking. Only “almost” because her thought process doesn’t involve correctly-spelled words or complete sentences. 🙂

    • the original bellaluna says:

      Brilliant! (Which she is not.)

      Now let’s add in how everyone is just jealous of her, trying to make a quick buck off her, and who are those asshole DA’s anyway to charge her for actually not obeying the law (repeatedly)? Obeying the law is for the “little people,” which she is NOT!!

    • Hakura says:

      @WendyNerd – “When they’ll very likely send her someplace where she won’t be allowed the simple courtesy of having staff that will kiss her ass and tell it how special it is WHILE they’re wiping it?

      LOL! xD As someone w/a brain, I imagine you had to go to a pretty ‘dark’ place in order to think like she does. She probably heard about the new ‘King crowning’ & decided to pursue her own ‘royal’ connections so she can be ‘Princess or Queen’ someday.

      The horror. ¬_¬

      • WendyNerd says:

        Well, I’ve just taken stuff she and/or Dina have said and/or written in the past, and even stuff that has been written about her in various kiss-ass tabloids.

        Among my biggest inspirations are when she tried to buy the rights to Stevie Nicks’s life so she could play her in a movie without ever even thinking to contact Stevie herself about the the idea (because trying to ride the coattails of the Walk the Line and Ray Oscar glory are more important than actually considering the feelings of the person whose life story you’re trying to buy), Dina’s tendency to refer to Lindsay as a child, the insistence that she is a “great actress” even though she’s never done any great acting, the fact that she used to describe herself as an “Actress, musician, designer, writer, director, producer, artist of many things” despite never writing or directing anything, her obsession with trying to micmic other Hollywood icons, the “move that cone/I should have been in Black Swan” piece, and, most of all, this particular interview:

        I just pretend that I think I’m this poor oppressed souland brilliant, artist/genius/beauty who should have at least eighty Oscars and ten Nobel Prizes by now and that the only thing that has stopped me is evil, jealous people telling me when to drink and that I shouldn’t take the various luxuries and privileges I’m obviously entitled to because they are trying to keep me from proving how much better I am than everyone. I know everything, and they hate that so they’re keeping me from my glory, wealth, and further accomplishments that I should never expect to actually work for. Part baby in their “MINE!!!!” phase, part megalomaniac, part sociopath, all entitlement and delusion.

    • Masque says:

      Move that Justice system, I’m Lindsay Lohan!!!

  12. Sade says:

    I know this wont be a popular opinion but i feel so bad for her. Dealing with an addiction while surrounded by sycophants and messed up family members is very hard. Yes she has an entitled attitude but consider her age of success and parents who couldnt ground her. Its true other people may have similar stories eg Drew Barrymore, but they didnt live in the age of tmz where every last thing is reported. An age where bad behaviour is rewarded with big headlines meaning she can still feel like a star. I wish everyone would just stop covering her. It may be the rock bottom she needs to hit.

    • swack says:

      I see your point, but she IS able to stay out of the spotlight if she so choses, as demonstrated in the last couple weeks. She calls the paps and lets them know where she is going or where she is at. She’s 26, had ample opportunities to get herself straight and have blown them off. If she hadn’t been given those opportunities, I might feel a bit sorry. But she is where she is at in life because of herself – not anyone else.

  13. Nicolette says:

    “Crackie Von Cracks-a-Lot” LOL, luv it.

    I’ve had about enough of her shenanigans and drama. Leave her to her own devices and let the chips fall where they may. Someone in her situation has to want help to straighten out and she clearly doesn’t.

    • Hakura says:

      @Nicolette – It’s true about having to really decide for one’s self that they want to be rehabilitated, which I don’t see happening, possibly ever, with LL.

      Being forced to go to rehab is just like saying ‘Go to your room, young lady!’. I’m not saying her needing rehab isn’t the reason she was sentenced to attend, but i’m also wondering if … knowing that over-crowding would significantly lessen how long she’d be in jail, the judge is using ‘rehab’ as a way to keep her in one place w/o a choice, as punishment.

  14. JennJ says:

    Of course she’s scared. What addict with over a month to dread the big sobriety date wouldn’t be? They should have just told her where she was going and given her a few days to collect her things and go, instead of giving her time to obsess and worry about how hard it will be.

    That extra time gave all the little voices that rationalize and justify drugs time to prepare their defences and will make quitting much harder.

  15. judyjudy says:

    It doesn’t matter that we all think. She’s going to skate. She always does. At this point I don’t blame her for being an entitled cracken. Her game has worked for years so why stop now?

  16. Jm says:

    Team Brokaw!

  17. PinkG says:

    Throw her in jail already.

  18. Jules says:

    In the first photo is a perfect example of why you should not try to wink when your face has been botoxed frozen.

    • Hakura says:

      That pic is priceless! xD More openly ‘her‘ than I’ve seen in a long time. So self important/arrogant & smug, quite proud of herself for successfully saying ‘Fck my sentence, & the legal system. I’ll do things when I decide to. (IE, Never.)

    • Boomboom says:

      Is that whsts wrong with her face ?

  19. Zigggy says:

    I’m surprised she didn’t try to say Brokaw was “bullying” her- that seems like everyone’s go-to for sympathy nowadays.

  20. the original bellaluna says:

    Oh, Kaiser, “Crackie Von Cracks-a-Lot” – you slay me! 😀

    We all know the ultimate plan of The Cracken: stall; delay; show up late; cry; whine; attempt to act contrite whilst rolling her eyes and sighing heavily (and asking her atty if she can leave now).

    And then when (IF) she ends up in some cushy spa-rehab AGAIN, she’ll pull the same stuff she has every other time she’s been: abusing the staff; sneaking out to party; snowing everyone there and getting released early.

    ETA: She’s already been to Promises (twice), UCLA, and Betty Ford – where else in CA would she “choose” to go?

    • OhMyMy says:

      You forgot the Cirque Lodge place in Utah.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        You’re right. I was only speaking of CA.

        Twice at Cirque; twice at Promises; once at UCLA; once at BF; so this will be her 7th round of rehab, yes?

  21. Hakura says:

    I know it shouldn’t, but the fact that the court is actually allowing her to choose her own punishment date/location still amazes me.

    They sure as hell wouldn’t treat the average crack-criminal to that kind of consideration for *1* second. So I don’t want to hear the court trying to defend itself by denying ‘making a difference’ because she’s a celeb (or ‘was’ one, anyway).

  22. elceibeno08 says:

    Thanks for cracking GOOD jokes about Lindsey. The analogy “Lindsay is to crack shenanigans like a cracked-out moth to a crack pipe flame.” is very funny. I think we all are going to miss this when she finally goes to rehab.

  23. Baskingshark says:

    My mama told me I should only say make nice comments about about people, so I’ll just say that it’s nice that her lips have deflated now and leave it at that.

  24. emma says:


    And Tom Brokaw totally nailed it, but then again, celebrities like her are just around more these days…

  25. Boomboom says:

    Why isnt dina on here defending our favorite crackhead ?

  26. Trashaddict says:

    Maybe she’s REALLY delaying because nobody will take her in their facility and she’s just too embarassed to admit it!

  27. mrsjennyk says:

    ugh, I can’t believe she’s only 26! Surprised she hasn’t wagered a deal with Dr. Drew “celeb” rehab

  28. Anna says:

    The problem with LiLo is that it’s a no-win situation. If she doesn’t want to get better, rehab is just a shitty month for her. Jail costs the taxpayers of CA quite a bit of money, especially if they want to keep her there for the length of time it would require for anything to get through her drug-addled skull, and if they just let her go until she kills herself she’s going to take innocent lives down with her. What the court ought to do is find her some real parents and prevent White Oprah from seeing her. If only they could.