Jennifer Aniston isn’t inviting her estranged mother to her summer wedding

Even though I’m not Jennifer Aniston’s biggest fan, I’ve never really had a problem with her “complicated” relationship with her mother, Nancy Dow. Every family is different, and every mother-daughter relationship is different. From what I can gather, Nancy and Jennifer Aniston always had a difficult, complicated, competitive relationship, and the complications hit the tipping point when Nancy tried to profit from her daughter’s fame way back in the mid-1990s.

Allegedly, Nancy and Jennifer reconnected tentatively after Jen and Brad Pitt split up, and Nancy has had a slew of health problems over the past few years. I’d be willing to bet that Jennifer is paying all of Nancy’s medical bills. I’d also be willing to bet that Nancy and Jennifer barely speak these days – on Mother’s Day, Jennifer spent the day in NYC with Justin Theroux. Jennifer spends most major holidays on vacation without her mother. I have no judgment for this, as I said. So should we shade Jennifer for (allegedly) refusing to invite her mother to her second wedding?

Jennifer Aniston is set to walk down the aisle with her fiancé Justin Theroux this summer, but one face that will not be seen at the wedding will be Nancy Dow‘s. Jen failed to invite her mom to her 2000 wedding to Brad Pitt, and it looks like the ice has not thawed in the last decade.

Jennifer, 44, is getting married for the second time this summer, and while this will be a totally different event in comparison to her elaborate wedding to Brad, one detail remains the same: Nancy will not be attending.

“For her wedding to Brad, she left her mom off the guest list, and a friend of Justin’s said that it is going to happen again this summer,” revealed Marianne Garvey on VH1′s The Gossip Table on June 5. “They are having a small, intimate wedding, and a lot of people have been left off, but Nancy’s name is the first.”

This is really sad news, but Jennifer has clearly decided to keep her mother out of her life.

Jennifer and her mother have had a difficult relationship for many years, and Jennifer stopped speaking to Nancy after she gave a televised interview about the Friends actress in 1996. They have had little contact since.

It’s a shame that Jen and her mom can’t work things out, but if she is having a small, intimate wedding with few guests, then perhaps her mom won’t be too offended.

[From Hollywood Life]

If Jennifer is planning a destination wedding (??), then Nancy would probably be too sick to go anyway. Not that Jennifer would even want her there in the first place. I kind of think Jon Voight and Nancy Aniston should get together and passive-aggressively bitch about their children.

Oh, and there’s a really dumb story in this week’s OK! Mag about Jennifer “asking Brad for a secret meeting with Angie.” Jennifer wants the “secret meeting” because Aniston is ready to “bury the hatchet” with Angie now that Angelina has had a double mastectomy. Allegedly, Angelina is “still thinking about it”. Don’t do it Angie!

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

150 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston isn’t inviting her estranged mother to her summer wedding”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Paula says:

    I still think her ring looks really weird, like a crystal or a rough diamond. I want close ups!

    • LL says:

      Since someone said her ring looks like a cough drop ala a Halls it can’t be unseen.

      • Ok says:

        LL — I wasn’t Jens ring that was the halls cough drop. It was Kelly Clarksons ring.

        To me Jens ring looks like a diamond in the rough. Maybe that is a nod between them — like Justin is Jens diamond in the rough. ????

        Who knows.

    • GiGi says:

      It’s a rose cut diamond, but IMO – it’s hideous!

      • Paula says:

        It’s really big and not at all what I would see as her style.

      • Ok says:

        Is that what it is??? Rose cut ?? Have not heard of that cut before.

        But why does it look so cloudy and dusty??

      • Lucy says:

        @Paula I think the size is what’s wrong with it, it’s so big that it looks like fake costume jewelry

      • Nerd Alert says:

        Is that what makes it so…foggy?

      • MousieBrown says:

        Rose cut is an antique cut that’s coming back into use. It’s not supposed to look like the typical sparkly one everyone else has. Nothing wrong with having something different from the norm.

      • Janet says:

        A diamond can be big and still sparkle, depending on its clarity but she obviously went for quantity over quality. That thing looks like a 25-cent fake from a vending machine.

      • FLORC says:

        In a speed read of Rose Cut Diamonds I just did the scenario that makes the most sense to me is that it’s an old stone. I bet the diamond is very old and it has a new setting. Since Rose cuts were done from the 16 century and on it was done without laser precision. All examples I saw of that diamond cut with varying quality of the stone all looked like a foggy mess to me.
        He splurged and got her something i’m sure he thinks is romantic and she’s just happy to have. Plus, having something “rose cut” sounds romantic.

      • Janet says:

        She doesn’t impress me as the kind who would want a rose-cut diamond because it’s “romantic”; she seems more the kind who would want something as big and showy as possible. So she went for big. She should have gone for clarity but she obviously thought size trumped everything.

    • Maria says:

      It does look weird. Doesn’t look bright and sparkly. I always think it looks cloudy.

  2. stormy weather says:

    Aniston bugs me always will, however, I don’t blame her for not inviting her mother. Too many celebrity parents try to make a buck off their kids (PMK and Loans) or can’t keep their mouths shut (Voight).

    No way Aniston asked to meet Ang. She is.
    going to milk that woman thrown over for another decade.

    • whipmyhair says:

      I think it’s really sad when it happens, my family has similar drama

      (no famous people, but teenage pregnancies, divorce and legal name changes; also I told my ten year old cousin that her “mum” was her grandma. That didn’t go down well)

      But I agree family is complicated- fame must just magnify all your problems.

    • QQ says:

      Thats what i was coming to say, Ill shade her on anything from her pity party narrative to her lameness, bad acting and media wars BUT Not on this, Is Shitty to have that kind of mom ( as i do) no matter what’s the income bracket, if anything KUDOS for having a boundary with her and sticking to it (something i wish i could have, which my family at large does NOT facilitate)

      • Lulu says:

        +1. My mom is just like Nancy. I have steered clear of her for the past few years. Some people are just toxic, no joke.

      • Janet says:

        What Lulu said. I went through the same thing with my own mother. But I get along great with my daughter-in-law. My son is a very lucky guy.

      • yolo112 says:

        Amen to that, QQ!! I couldn’t agree more. I haven’t talked to my mom in over 11 years. It’s sad but sometimes the best decision to make for yourself. I used to get so much crap from people when they would ask about the relationship and my answer was always the same thing; Obviously it had to be something really bad to push me into taking such great measures to remove my own mother from my life.

        I hate her ring. Straight budget.

      • Mrs Odie 2 says:

        I’m glad to see this from several people. I didn’t invite my mom to my very small wedding ceremony, but had her at the larger reception a week later. There is too much tension and drama and she always has to make a scene. She can’t help herself. I regret that her feelings were hurt. I wish it could have been another way. But my wedding was about me and my husband and we needed to have it exactly the way we wanted.

      • Cameron says:

        I’m still trying to figure out what did her mother do that was so bad. As I recall, her mother raised her alone when her father ran off with a younger woman.. So her mother said she wasn’t pretty . She was being honest.

    • Lauren says:


      “So her mom said she wasn’t pretty. She was being honest.”

      Can’t believe I just read such a thing and that you think it is okay for a mom to do that to their child. I hope you never have a daughter of your own with such an attitude. You may not like JA but to think it’s okay for a mom to put down their kids looks even if it is ‘true’ is just wrong. Candy Spelling did the same thing to Tori Spelling and that is just a nasty way of being towards your own child.

      • anneesezz says:

        Thank you. And she did it to make a buck. It doesn’t get much lower than that.

      • cs says:

        I do have a daughter. Thank you very much. It wouldn’t bother me in my adult life that my mom said that I wasn’t physically beautiful as a youngster. Her mother was the one who provided her food, clothing, and a roof over her head most of my young life while her father ran off to California with younger woman. I also believe her mother paid her tuition at La Guardia HS. Wasn’t that where she got her training for acting? I know I would forgive her in my adult life. I surely would’ve invited her to my wedding and been there for her in sickness. It sounds so shallow to think I wouldn’t speak to my mother forever because she said I wasn’t pretty as a teenager.
        She should be grateful when there are kids who had/have far worse. Jada Pinkett Smith had to deal with drug-addicted absentee mother. Who didn’t know whether she was dead or alive because she had to feed her drug addictions. However, she managed to forgive her mother.
        But this nut is still harping on ” My mother said I wasn’t pretty”.

      • cs says:

        CS AKA Cameron S

      • Janet says:

        @cs: Just to set the record straight: there is no tuition at LaGuardia HS. It’s a public school for artistically gifted kids. It was formed by a merger with the old HS of Music & Art and the HS of Performing Arts. It’s free but you have to audition to get in. I had several friends who went there years ago.

  3. Hipocricy says:

    She should ask to meet Heidi Bivens instead…hypocrit !

    As for her mother, there were reports flying around at some point that when she was severly ill 2 years ago, old friends of hers had to pay the medical bills because Jen wasn’t ready to do so. I am inclmined to beleive that since she already did it years ago, refusing to pay Nancy medical bills who has to turn on social services to have the basic.

    So i am not surprised that she won’t invite her mother to her second marriage, the same way she didn’t do it for a first one.

    I don’t beleive the story of her making peace with her mum. It was all PR tactic.

    Don’t care if she doesn’t though, that’s a personal problem. Just own it !

    • Nina W says:

      Why should she “own it”? It’s her life, if she doesn’t want to explain her relationship with her mother, she shouldn’t have to.

  4. Dedrie says:

    Diehard fabulous star taking the grudge of how dare she speak of me without permission.. to the grave?

    • LAK says:

      it was alot more than ‘speaking without permission’. Her mother wrote a book about her famous daughter, not necessarily positive.

      The TV interview was the last straw in a long list of things that came out about their dynamic which pointed to a lifetime of a toxic relationship.

      • Len says:

        You have the order wrong. Aniston’s mom did an interview that was to promote her (Nancy) own interests and projects but the final cut made it about her daughter. Aniston should know how the media works, and how it wasn’t her mother’s fault but she wouldn’t listen. It was only long after Aniston cruelly cut Nancy out of her life for something that wasn’t even her own fault, that she wrote the book to explain what happened. Pretty understandable for nancy to do that imo. There was never any reliable sources for any of the other talk about a longterm toxic relationship, just rumor.

      • Lulu says:

        @Len, don’t you think that writing the book was self serving? If she really valued her daughter’s feelings, she wouldn’t have rubbed salt in the wound by then publishing a book about her. Nancy is all about Nancy, and everyone else is just the means to an end to them, even their own children. It hurts to have a parent like that, I know only too well. The best thing you can do for yourself is refuse to take part in their narcissistic narrative.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @Lulu, who wrote: “If she really valued her daughter’s feelings, she wouldn’t have rubbed salt in the wound …”

        I’ve heard that before from someone defending poor, sweet, innocent, all natural girl-next-door Jen. It was said by a fan on behalf of Jen’s ‘hurt feelings’ when pictures of a very pregnant Angelina Jolie at 2008 Cannes hit tabloids. The fan said the Angie was just ‘rubbing salt in the wound ‘and’ rubbing Jen’s nose in it as well.

        Listen, Jennifer Aniston has been seeing a psychiatrist since she was a teenager. She obviously has issues, but how much of that is ‘actually’ how she was treated by her mother and how much of that is just Jen? Her mother, father, and older half-brother were all tall and attractive. Jen has always been short, stumpy, plain, and had a bit of a weight problem when she was a child.

        And this is a woman who has completely divorced herself from any hint of Greek heritage in her looks and life. She must have keen self-esteem and self-identity issues.

        I’m a bit sad to think that my premise of Jen making a show of going to the hospital (once) the day her mother was admitted for a stroke in 2011 for PR is right on the money.

        What a spiteful little thing she is.

      • Nina W says:

        Emma, you have no idea what you are talking about. I get that you don’t like Aniston but that doesn’t whitewash her mother. In my experience people who reject their parents do so for good reason, you have no idea what the true story of their relationship is and judging it based on public appearances and unfounded gossip is silly.

  5. Sabrine says:

    I can’t believe Angelina is still being dragged up by the mags. Bizarre, still trying to make a story out of nothing. How many years has it been now?

  6. Guesto says:

    I don’t think this wedding is ever going to happen.

    • Kate says:

      I don’t either.

      • Nicolette says:


      • Liz says:

        +1000 I don’t believe Justin will ever marry Jennifer. He was with his last girlfriend for 14 years. We have heard over and over how needy and insecure Jennifer is. I get the feeling he is trapped and doesn’t know what to do other than stalling on the wedding.

    • RdyfrmycloseupmrDvlle says:

      If Justin has any smarts at all he’ll find a way out of it. I dont know how he tolerates her. In addition, Heidi is gorgeous. It must have been painful to let such a beautiful woman go.

  7. The Wizz says:

    Does anyone with half a brain honestly think she’s ever gong to marry his dude?

  8. Luton says:

    I heard Justin is going to be in a tv series on HBO. Now if only his lady could follow him back to Tv and do us movie fanatics a favour.

  9. DanaG says:

    Since she wasn’t invited the first wedding why would it be a surprise she wouldn’t be invited to the second? I seem to remember storeis of her mother having trouble with medical bills so I wouldn’t be so sure if Jennifer is actually helping her mother out at all. Although Jennifer would love everyone to think so her being the victim but taking the higher road and helping her mum. Please it wasn’t that bad considering how much stuff Jennifer leaks it’s a bit pot calling kettle black. I don’t think Angie even cares about Jennifer why would she want a meeting with her? I won’t be surprises if Jennifer and Justin don’t get down the aisle.

  10. anneesezz says:

    My husband has not spoken to his mother in about five years and won’t really talk about why other than to say “because she’s a f*cking lunatic.” She doesn’t even want a relationship with her grandchildren (from his first marriage) who tried to keep in touch.

    Why does she need to make peace with her? Just because she’s her mom is old and sick? Maybe she’s still a nasty betch.

    It probably wouldn’t kill her to pay off her medical bills though but no one knows that situation for sure since that information is protected by HIPAA.

  11. The wedding isn’t going to happen. As much as the Daily Mail and other rags think they might have it, they don’t and even if they did, and wrote about it (loosely), that would end the never-ending storyline…

    • Christin says:

      Those are my thoughts. This never-ending storyline could have ended long ago, because there is no good reason for the delays. Same with the maybe a baby storyline.

  12. Maritza says:

    I doubt they will get married too but if they do it’s a wrong way to start out by not inviting her own mother to the wedding.

    • Trek Girl says:

      I don’t think it’s wrong.

      Parents can behave badly too. If we know about one or two things that her mom did that crossed the line, then there are probably more. Nobody has to put up with a person who crosses boundaries, whether that person is their parent or not. It’s best to cut toxic people out of your life if there is no healthy way to have them in it.

      I’m not a fan of Aniston’s, but I won’t fault her for this.

  13. Sal says:

    I doubt very VERY much that Aniston is paying anything towards any of her mothers costs, medical or otherwise since there was that big story that came out years back about her mother seeking social aid for health bills. Let us not forget this is a person who when hearing of her mother being seriously ill in hospital from a stroke, chose to galavant around town with her taken man (Heidi Bivens partner Justin Theroux) instead of visit or be by her mother’s side. I feel very sorry for Nancy that she has a daughter like that, especially since Nancy raised Jennifer as a single mum for many years when her father abandoned them. Aniston comes across as a self-absorbed, very heartless, cold and cruel person.

    • Lucinda says:

      I don’t know anything about their relationship but I know my own mother. I’m projecting here, but…my mother is a monumental pain in my ass with major health problems. She can also be mean. Very mean. She is meaner to me than anyone else. However she puts on a great social face so for years everyone thought I was making up stuff. The only person who really knew was my dad who divorced my mom when I was 3 so she raised my sister and I as a single mom.

      I do a lot for my mom now but only because it’s the right thing to do, not because she’s someone I like. I can completely understand Aniston avoiding her mom and cutting her out of her life if her mom is anything like mine.

      • Belle Epoch says:

        Me too. Trying to do the right thing despite years of abuse. Please look up the article:

      • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

        It seems like your mom doesn’t deserve your kindness since she is so mean to you and until your comment I didn’t really get why Jen may not want to deal with her mother. Have you ever thought about cutting the ties since she is so hurtful towards you?

      • teehee says:

        Sounds like my mom-in-law. She is in denial abotu how ridiculous she is, and of course thinks she is the most lived and admired person that everyone wants to be friend with— so when I say hwo difficult and unfriendly and just stupidly negative she is towards me, no one believes it. These people put up 2 faces and dont have the courage to just say the truth- “I dont like you” but you know what? Who cares. I’ll get over it, the world wont end, and its hella better than putting up with her stupid crap under teh guise that she is being friendly.
        I have cut ties with her down to the formalities of common social events– ie birthdays where she is also present, in which case I small talk her like every other guest. Even that is obnoxious as hell because she starts vomitting negativity at me, but a few minutes is bearable. Then I just move on to the next guests and dont have to see her again for another few weeks/months.

      • Lucinda says:

        @Mitch–I have gone times where I didn’t speak to her at all. She is mentally ill. That is a big part of the meanness but she refuses to believe there is anything wrong with her so she doesn’t get treated. I help her so I know when she dies, I did everything I could to make her life better because at the end of the day, she’s still my mom. That doesn’t mean I allow abuse. I’ve learned to put up healthy boundaries and it teaches my children that we love even the unloveable but we do it in a way that protects ourselves and doesn’t allow the hurtful behavior. They will run into unhealthy people and I want them to know how not to fall into abusive relationships. It’s not always easy, but it is the right thing to do and it makes me a better person for it.

      • Lucinda says:

        @Belle–hope you are finding healing. It isn’t easy.

      • Janet says:

        I feel you. My mom put on the nicest face in the world to everybody she wasn’t related to, but with her immediately family she could be plain hateful. She took out all her frustrations on us. I once heard my son telling a friend of his when he was 13, “My grandmother is two people. She’s one way with the family and another way with everybody else, and if you saw how she acts with family you wouldn’t like her very much.”

      • Ink says:

        Belle Epoch, thank you so much for that Slate article. Both my mother and mother-in-law are narcissists and I found it very helpful. Blessings to you.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        I believe you young women will feel differently when you become a mother yourselves, and/or when your mother reaches 70 and beyond.

        For those of you who ‘are’ mothers … I wish you peace, but more importantly, a child who doesn’t grow to view ‘you’ as you now view your own parent(s).

  14. TG says:

    What is the history of Jen and her mom, other than the one of her mom speaking about her in an interview or book whatever? I Maele as her mom jealous of Jen when she was raising her? If so that is sick and I don’t blame Jen for cutting a narcissist out of her life those kind of people can and will wreck your life if you don’t cut them off cold turkey.

    • Sal says:

      What on earth would make you think her mother is jealous of her own daughter? I doubt it!!! It never ceases to amaze me that people invent some weird wacked out theory then built a narrative around that as if it were true. Its clearly NOT. Jen is just a cold self-absorbed bitch.

      • pwal says:

        I can see why Nancy would be jealous of Aniston.

        A few months ago, I saw the Beverly Hillbillies episode that featured Nancy. It involved Miss Hathaway’s birdwatching troupe and Jethro being in hot pursuit of one of it’s members, Athena. Nancy was Athena and it was amazing how much she reminded me of Aniston – same build, same posture, same eyes. Nancy didn’t come across as remarkable in it and for me, Aniston doesn’t either, although I have to admit that she was funny during the ultrasound episode of Friends when she couldn’t spot her unborn child.

        Aniston can be funny-not nearly as funny as some would attest to, but it probably bothers Nancy that she didn’t have as much leeway, career-wise, as her daughter. I have no idea how much work and effort Nancy put into her career, but it would piss me off if I saw someone who didn’t work as hard reaping awards relatively quickly and seemingly doing nothing to maintain it. The lack of maintenance refers to the pity party that followed Aniston’s divorce; getting the Friends gig, having people admire a haircut and workout regime more than actual execution of craft refers to everything pre-Pitt.

        Or Aniston resents anyone who doesn’t declare that the sun shines from her @$$. That seems to be a prerequisite in order to exist within Aniston’s orbit.

      • TG says:

        The article stated that Anistin and her mom had a competitive relationship so in my mind I take that to be jealousy I can’t imagine ever competing with my daughter’s unless it is for fun like a sporting event but not in life.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @Pwal, who wrote: “Nancy was Athena and it was amazing how much she reminded me of Aniston – same build, same posture, same eyes.”

        I don’t know how you can even say that, when Jennifer Aniston has ‘manufactured’ her look. As this photo demonstrates, she has not always looked the way she does today. The woman in the photo with teenaged Jen is her mother Nancy:

        Did you know that Jen and Chastity (now Chaz) Bono were friends in school?

        I still can’t believe the very same people now defending Jen’s right to treat her mother like dirt near the woman’s death are the same ones who said Angelina Jolie has ‘mental problems’ because she didn’t want her father around her children.

      • Nerd Alert says:


        It’s one thing to be #teamangelina or whatever, but at some point you’re going to realize that people, even celebrities, are not all good OR all bad. Even if you want them to be, even if they’re portrayed that way. Life is not a comic book. A lot of people defending her today are not even fans…and have been careful to disclose that.

      • anneesezz says:

        Aren’t you the same person who is always saying that the Aniston fans are nasty? Seems like you can dish out insults pretty good yourself.

        I understand now why you’re called Brangeloonies.

      • Lulu says:

        @Emma: her mother has classically good features. Jen does not, but she is still attractive. As far as pics of her teenage years, isn’t it great that we aren’t forever stuck looking like our teenage selves?

      • Len says:

        TG, so why assume it was her mother that was jealous, and not the other way around? After all, her mother was a beautiful model. Seems Jen would be the jealous one, but you automatically assumed it was the mother. Why?

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      “It never ceases to amaze me that people invent some weird wacked out theoury then built a narrative around that as if it were true. Its clearly NOT. Jen is just a cold self-absorbed bitch.”

      You’re not seeing the irony in your statement here?

      …particularly in light of all your other comments on this thread?

      • Sal says:

        Er, no. Assuming something as completely out there and random and crazy as a mom is jealous of a child, with absolutely no basis, is completely different from posting the facts.

      • Marigold says:

        I’m sorry…what you’re writing about Aniston and her mother is fact?


      • Nerd Alert says:

        Uh, you can’t imagine a mother being jealous of a daughter? Hell, my mother is jealous of my college education. Nancy was an actress in a dozen or so sh*tpile projects who probably dreamed of the tabloid fame Jennifer has.

        Not every mother is your mother.

      • Alex says:

        I still want to know why some people take this stuff so personally…They’re just celebrities, not your friends. they don’t care about her mom they just want to say what an awful person she is.

  15. Shelley says:

    It’s sad :-( It really must be the best thing for all parties if they do not speak.
    Can people stop hating on Jen. She has obviously moved on but the rest of the world needs to catch up.

  16. Thiajoka says:

    @Sal: Adult children aren’t obligated to take up the banner of their parents lives if one or both is abusive. Also, most adults who don’t spend a lot of time with their parent(s) tend to come from awful backgrounds.

    • Sal says:

      Why would you think her mother was abusive? There has never been any indication of that. Where has all this come from? Lets not forget that Aniston NEVER associates with ANY of her family, including brother, aunts/uncles/cousins etc. Are you seriously suggesting her entire family extended and all are ‘abusive’? The fact that she doesn’t associate with anyone shows the issue is very much with her, and not her mother. She clearly thinks she is too good for her family and in a Goop-esque way, doesn’t associate with her peasant family.

      • OhDear says:

        Aniston may have a legitimate reason to do so. We don’t know, so don’t assume things about her.

      • Len says:

        For her mom, maybe, but for her entire family? I don’t think so. Thats reaching.

      • OhDear says:

        @Len Perhaps the rest of the family enables her mom and/or won’t stop trying to get them reconciled. We don’t know.

      • Nina W says:

        Guess what people don’t like to air the dirty laundry on their family dis-function. When people don’t want their parents in their lives they usually have good reasons and tactful friends accept that because it happens all the time.

  17. Miss M says:

    “I kind of think Jon Voight and Nancy Aniston should get together and passive-aggressively bitch about their children.”

    But, honestly, at the 40+ mark, she should had known how to deal with her mom in small doses. Maybe the small doses are still a bit too much… I don’t condone her for not inviting her mother to the wedding (if there will be one and as ill as she is, I don’t think she can make it). As for the bills, I hope she is paying them. I would if I could, no matter how much grief I had built.

  18. doofus says:

    I’m not going to throw shade at her for this, either.

    I’m lucky enough to have a good relationship with my mother but I fully recognize that there are plenty of folks who don’t…and some who DO, but shouldn’t (Lohan?)

    If someone’s family is toxic to their well-being, and they feel as if they’ve been betrayed by a family member and don’t want a relationship with that person, that’s their prerogative. their friends become their “family”.

    Drew Barrymore emancipated herself, did people judge her for cutting her mother off? Would people judge Lohan if she cut out contact with her mother? I see it as the same kind of thing. Her reasons, her choice…and although some of us like to think we know everything about certain celebs, we don’t.

    • insomniac says:

      Well said. I’m no big Aniston fan, but I’m certainly not going to bash her for this.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree with this.
      No one knows the dynamic except the 2 people involved. There are some times it’s just better for all involved to cease contact – you don’t have to actively hate a person and you can still wish them well, but having them in your life in anyway just isn’t healthy.

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      @doofus, who wrote: “Drew Barrymore emancipated herself, did people judge her for cutting her mother off? Would people judge Lohan if she cut out contact with her mother?”

      And yet, MANY of the same people posting such sentiments here today were the very ones posting that Angelina Jolie had ‘issues’ for cutting her father out of her life, and for not wanting her father around her children. Doesn’t it stand to reason that ‘she’ probably also had valid reasons for ‘her’ actions?

      You guys want it both ways, and that’s bothers me most.

      • doofus says:

        “MANY of the same people posting such sentiments here today were the very ones posting that Angelina Jolie had ‘issues’ for cutting her father out of her life, and for not wanting her father around her children.”

        really? I noticed that you said the same thing in a post above. how do you know it’s the same people? (not to mention a LOT of the folks saying that she’s got a right to do this have clearly identified themselves as “not Aniston fans”.)

        I surely never said such things; I believe that, just like Aniston or ANYONE, if Jolie didn’t/doesn’t want contact with her Dad, that’s her choice and I won’t shade her for that. To add, she seems to have legit reasons for not wanting him in her life.

        again with the “you guys” grouping…who, exactly, are you referring to? stop lumping people into groups in which they don’t belong. please, stop seeing anyone who defends Aniston as a Jolie hater, and anyone who slurs Jolie as a “Hen”. being one does not necessarily make you the other.

      • Janet says:

        Angie had a damn good reason for cutting her father out of her life. He tried to sabotage her oldest son’s adoption.

      • Lulu says:

        Thank you Doofus. My post saying the very same thing got eaten.

  19. marie says:

    well, her mother and I have something in common then, whoda thunk?

    it’s no secret she doesn’t get a long with her mother, I don’t see a problem with it. her wedding, her guest list.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Exactly. It’s kind of ridiculous to me that people are judging her relationship with her mother. I’m no Aniston fan, but that just seems unfair to me.

      • Miss M says:


      • OhDear says:

        Seriously. Not everyone comes from a happy family. Her mother violated a boundary and likely did other things; Aniston likely decided to cut off ties for her mental/emotional well-being. The “high road” may be more harmful to her than helpful.

  20. Micki says:

    I won’t bash Anistoon for not inviting her mom to the wedding.

    However there’s a point I want to make-assuming she didn’t pay her momh’s medical cost-it’s something I don’t like. Not because she can afford it and decided not to, but because the average parents put their children first when it comes to money IMO. I’d love to buy some ridiculously expensive shoes and I pay my son’s music classes…
    Even without her millions it’s the lack sheer decency that bugs me. Whatever horrible person her mom might be she provided fully Jennifer’s first years.

    • OhDear says:

      To be fair, some people may use that as a means to manipulate the other person (give an inch and they’ll take a mile, or however that saying goes).

      • Micki says:

        I agree, in general I’m a lot more cold hearted when it comes to sublings and other relatives, but mother and father are something else in my book.
        I don’t know her mom at all, I don’t care about their relationship but Jennifer seems to be able to “keep her own” things so I don’t think anyone will have a chance to abuse her bank account.

    • Nerd Alert says:

      I don’t think that’s fair. The parents chose to have the child, not the other way around. As awful as my mom could be, she didn’t have me just to pay her bills when she gets old.

      • Micki says:

        Yes but I think she sent Jenifer to school and not to fend for herself like some parents do.
        If the parent neglects the child completely or abuses it it should be taken away and is better off alone. But on average parents,even the narcissist ones take care.
        I don’t know how it is in US, here in Germany in certain cases parents can demand financial support form kids. There are restrictions and special regulations but if the parents cannot support themselves the children are obliged to take care.

        I’m not preaching to keep contact at any price but I see a moral obligation in certain cases.

      • Nerd Alert says:

        In the US, legally and (importantly) culturally, there is no obligation. Bear with me…

        We don’t have free birth control here and abortions are highly regulated in a lot of places and often looked down upon, which IMO means a lot of unwanted, unfunded babies. I know Nancy could afford her daughter when she had her, but the cultural pressure to procreate at the time may have meant she had a child she didn’t want.

        Most people I know will support their parents voluntarily as they age and ail, but at a certain point (abuse), it is okay to draw the line and let it go. Otherwise, it results in a life of emotional problems and stress for the child, and it isn’t worth it.

      • Micki says:

        @:Nerd Alert:
        I’ve no problems bearing with you:)

        Culturally I’m used to the thought to take care of my parents when the time comes. This means a wide range of things- from occasional med. bill (this case) to full support if parents become disabled with age.

        I personally support terminating of unwanted pregnancy provided !! it’s not used instead of birth control. I’ve heard of cases of rape victums in South America who have to carry to term and won’t get even a C-section if the life of the mother is in danger. I’ve always found such things barbaric.
        I understand that unwanted children don’t harbour warm feelings for their parents.Just in Jen’s case I have the feeling she doesn’t harbour warms feelings easily on principle.

        Do you remember the post about Julia Roberts who refused to go to her sister’s wedding (allegedly). Now, she’s a major bitch but still has found a job for the said sister.
        That’s sort of a bitchiness I can live with.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @Nerd Alert, who wrote: “We don’t have free birth control here and abortions are highly regulated in a lot of places and often looked down upon, which IMO means a lot of unwanted, unfunded babies. I know Nancy could afford her daughter when she had her, but the cultural pressure to procreate at the time may have meant she had a child she didn’t want.”

        Jennifer Aniston was born in 1969. It was a special time … people were tuning out of life and tuning in to flower power (Peace, man, Peace) … the smell of weed was prevalent and ‘Make Love, not War’ was the mantra of a whole generation. I was 14-years-old. About a quarter of the people in 9th grade at the Junior High School I attended were having sex on a regular basis. By the time the girls were 16, they could go to any ‘Free Clinic’ and get birth control pills without their parents consent.

        Women were burning their bras and demanding control over their own bodies. They were choosing ‘not’ to have babies. Planned Parenthood was alive and well. Many women who found themselves with unplanned pregnancies choose to have ‘legal’ abortions. One of my friends in high school took the Greyhound to Detroit and got a ‘legal’ abortion because she would have had to tell her parents and get their consent here, and she was only 17-years-old at the time.

        Long story short … Nancy Dow was 33-years-old in 1969. She had a choice.

      • Nerd Alert says:


        It seems like you completely glossed over the part where I theorized that Nancy was probably more influenced by the societal pressure for women to have children, which exists to this day.

        But I appreciate your attempt to correct me without reading my entire statement.

      • Nerd Alert says:


        (Didn’t see your post at first, just Emma’s, sorry!)

        It seems like we are generally on the same page. I didn’t mention that I read the book Nancy wrote, my grandma had it laying around the house one summer and I was a Friends fan. This was long ago, so my impression is a generalized one. It read to me very much like a woman who was bitter to become a mother. To me it wasn’t about JA, but about Nancy being bitter.

        Anyway, I agree with you completely, except that in certain cases I think it is healthiest for the child to cut ties with a parent. I don’t think it’s right to be a mean pain in the ass your whole life and expect people to care for you at the end of it, that’s all.

        I definitely agree that JA is a self-absorbed bitch, though. I just happen to defend her in this case only because her mother seems worse to me :)

    • m says:

      But if you are estranged from said parent, why would you pay their bills?

      I haven’t spoken to my father since I was 18 (I’m 37 now) and while I do not wish him any ill will, I want no contact, period. I ask nothing of him and he in turn should ask nothing of me.

      A break from a parent is not an easy decision to make, and can be tough for people who do not live it to truly understand.

      I’m sure there is a long and sordid history between Jen and her mom and their estrangement is not just because of one interview in the mid 90′s. What Jen chooses to give her mom financially and emotionally, if anything, should be completely up to her.

      • Micki says:

        @m: I don#t keep a contact with one of my Grandmas. She’s the only person I can safely say I hate. Nevertheless she lives in my appartment. I don’t use it even when I go to have holiday back home. It was hers originally and I inherited it. She had the wish to live there till the end and I respected it. I could sent her to retirement home and let it or sell it or else. But I even pay the taxes now.
        So there. I don’t visit her, I don’t call her or keep any form of contact.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @m, who wrote: “But if you are estranged from said parent, why would you pay their bills?”

        Well how about the fact that ‘said parent’ took care of ‘you’ and kept you warm and safe and healthy. How about the fact that they changed your diapers and kept you clean. How about the fact that there’s something just ‘wrong’ with treating your parent like dirt when they’re old, as vulnerable as you were as a baby, and physically unable to do the things for themselves that you were able to do as a child.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @Emma: the “they took care of you as a baby, so you take care of them as an adult” argument doesn’t really make sense.

        Here’s why: the parent had the child, not the other way around. The parent has legal obligations to take care of the child unless they give up their rights or are stripped or their rights — not the other way around. The child doesn’t have to do anything for the parent, even if the parents were great. Most people will take care of their parents if they can, even if the parent was worse than the average parent, but they don’t have to.

        Now, that being said, when a parent treats a child poorly in some way, the child doesn’t have to stick around and take care of them. They don’t have to take abuse and mistreatment and endanger their own mental well being just because the other person gave birth to them. That’s nonsense.

        The parent did what parents are supposed to do, but that doesn’t mean they get to hold it over the child for their whole life. That’s just not how that works. If you treat someone like crap, the other person can cut ties and leave — that’s just how it is. The parent wasn’t as helpless as a baby when they were being awful to the child, so that “they are as helpless as a baby” excuse doesn’t fly when they get older.

      • m says:

        @Trek Girl

        Thanks for the back up. I couldn’t agree with you more.

        I totally get where @Micki is coming from when she explains that in German culture there is an expectation that a child is raised with to care for their parents in their old age.

        We do not feel that obligation here. Therefore caring for parents is something that often extends from a normal relationship as time passes. Our parents or grandparents age and lean on us more, one naturally assists and it is often less calculated and more an organic shift.

        Imagine if you are without contact with this person for a number of years and they suddenly attempt to come back into your life for any reason, especially asking for assistance. It is a difficult decision to say no but one that often comes from a deep need for self preservation. Time does not heal all wounds and some parents should never have had children. Changing diapers and providing meals is not enough to make a good parent.

  21. Paloma says:

    I read where an ex-husband of Nancy (not Jen’s father) said Nancy has alienated a lot of people.

    • Lulu says:

      That is very common amongst pathological narcissists. My mom has alienated everyone except my sister, who only sees her rarely. My mom thinks no one likes her because they think she is so awesome she makes everyone else feel inferior and resentful. I kid you not.

  22. Elizabeth says:

    That is the ugliest engagement ring I have ever seen! I mean she a could afford anything and that’s what she gets. She must have given him her credit card and that’s what she got stick with. But she really needs to just get married already so we can stop talking about her wedding.

  23. Auj says:

    Jennifer is getting married?
    I’ll believe it when I see it.

  24. Lucinda says:


  25. KAI says:

    “They are having a small, intimate wedding, and a lot of people have been left off, but Nancy’s name is the first.”

    What a ridiculous statement and if it really is a quote, the speaker is a fool. Are we to believe that they made a list of people not invited and put her mother at the top?

    • Nerd Alert says:

      Right! Thank you!

      If she’s not on the list, she can’t be first. She’s just not there. There’s no list to be first on, presumably.

  26. Nerd Alert says:

    Full disclosure: Not an Aniston fan. I think she’s a self-absorbed snot, but I don’t hate her for it, that’s most of Hollywood.

    I’ve always gotten the impression that like Demi Moore, Nancy never wanted to be a mother, only a celebrity. Children can feel that.

    My own mother has psychiatric problems she refuses to seek treatment for, and constantly berated me as a child, along with my siblings. It is hard work to love a mom like that, and my sister hasn’t spoken to her in almost a decade. I don’t judge family dynamics, you never know what their life is like behind closed doors.

    Of course she should not invite her mother to her wedding if their relationship is that contentious, and I don’t see why she’s obligated to pay her medical bills, either.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      I have an amazing relationship with my mom but she is estranged from HER mom because her mother is mentally ill with a bad pill addiction.

      My mom still talks so kindly about her mother even though my granny was nothing but nasty to her for many years. She would never begrudge me if I wanted to contact my granny again (I don’t) but I think that speaks to how kind-hearted my mother is.

      I have a friend who has similar family dynamics (estranged from his father) and we were discussing this very subject recently.
      I told him that if his father gives nothing but asks for nothing and basically doesn’t make his life worse, then he should maintain a relationship with him but if he detracts from his life and causes a disruption or emotional and financial stress, then his life is probably better without him.

      Sorry, I didn’t mean to get into a big thing about my experience but I know what you’re going through, to a degree.

      …and I agree with everything you said. It’s not fair to judge how others handle things like that. Most people would prefer to have family in their lives and will do almost anything to keep them, but there’s a point when things just become toxic and I’m not sure if you can come back from that, all you can do is make peace with it.

      • Nerd Alert says:

        TOK, I do appreciate your sharing this. It helps to know I’m not alone when I see a lot of loving mother-daughter relationships where they grew into friends as adults. I think there are a lot of examples of toxic family relationships, and we can’t judge this one, even though we pretty much know JA is a snot.

        I give my mother some leeway because she clearly has at least one undiagnosed mental illness, and was verbally abused by her own father. Still, I don’t tolerate abuse, and I won’t have her berating me or my fiancee (she has been quite insulting to past boyfriends). My father has been taking it for years, he jokes that he doesn’t have feelings anymore.

        Your mother and granny remind me of my father and his mother, who doesn’t acknowledge me because he adopted me after marrying my mother. In that and many other ways, she is frankly not a nice person. She abandoned him to look after his 3 brothers as a teen, while their father worked three jobs to support them all. Still, my father is sweet and loving to his mother, as are 2 of the 3 others, while she does everything she can to destroy them. He does not begrudge me for not speaking to her, nor will he for not inviting her to my wedding.

        At the end of the day, if we had met each other’s families without knowing any of this, it wouldn’t be obvious up front. To pretend we know that JA or her mother is in the right is ludicrous. Still, in my (limited) experience, when this sort of thing happens it is generally the doing of the parent, not the child.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Wow..that is unbelievable. It just blows my mind that people can be so cruel, especially to family. On a brighter note, your Dad sounds amazing and selfless.

        “I give my mother some leeway because she clearly has at least one undiagnosed mental illness, and was verbally abused by her own father.”

        That’s what’s always hard for me-my granny was abused by her father and her husband-both physically and mentally. I think that’s why my mother gives her a lot of leeway as well. But then I look at my parents who were abused by THEIR father(s) and they broke that pattern when they raised us. So…they were able to do it..but I guess not everyone is built the same way. Some people can rise above and others cannot and it may not be their fault, they’re likely just wired differently.

        I also agree that it’s usually (not always but usually) the parent’s fault. Let’s face it: kids aren’t born knowing how to hold a grudge or impose silent treatment, they’re not born understanding how to manipulate and control others-this is all learned behavior, that becomes reinforced over time and eventually develops into a pattern or a way of interacting with others.

        I’m sure my granny never intended this, but I did learn from her behavior and to this day I can NEVER hold a grudge. It’s just not possible for me. It’s been a great coping tool for me as an adult because I have an innate ability to let go of anger but then again, I was brought up by two very loving people so I really should give them some credit as well.

        Thanks for the therapy session BTW. You can send me your bill! ;)

      • Nerd Alert says:

        “Let’s face it: kids aren’t born knowing how to hold a grudge or impose silent treatment, they’re not born understanding how to manipulate and control others-this is all learned behavior, that becomes reinforced over time and eventually develops into a pattern or a way of interacting with others.”

        That’s incredibly insightful…I never thought of it that way. I just remember wanting my mom to show me she loved me instead of saying it, but that’s our damaged relationship expressing itself. Of course it’s more complicated than that, but you understand I’m sure. It takes a long time to let go of the guilt associated with that.

        I’m glad you learned from granny never to hold a grudge. This is SUCH a valuable lesson that I am still learning to this day. My S.O. has a verbally abusive mother such as my own, and he learned Buddhist meditation to help himself overcome, let go, and be peaceful in the moment so he can still be around her. It’s really helped me, too (not promoting religion, we’re both nonbelievers).

        Once you can let go and move on from anything, you’ve learned to heal yourself. Very valuable indeed. Anyway, no charge for the therapy, you’ve done the same for me ;) Quid pro quo!

    • Emma - the JP Lover says:

      @Nerd Alert, who wrote: “I’ve always gotten the impression that like Demi Moore, Nancy never wanted to be a mother, only a celebrity. Children can feel that.”

      Sorry, but even Bruce Willis will tell you that Demi was a great Mom to those girls when they were young. The woman championed motherhood with each pregnancy. She really seemed to enjoy being pregnant. I mean she ‘glowed’ when she was pregnant.

      Demi’s problem today isn’t that she ‘hated’ motherhood, it’s that she’s having a hard time with the aging process … you know, getting old.

      • Nerd Alert says:


        You don’t have to be sorry, but you could stop trolling us all. I read Nancy’s book, did you? It read like a mother who was very bitter about being a mother.

        Also, I don’t give a rat’s @ss about Demi, I rarely click on her stories. Not wanting to be a mother is only one of her problems, and I’m not interested in them. Bruce Willy and I, on the other hand? Well, he can tell me anything he wants. I’d love to pick apart his atheistic, libertarian brain.

        Like I said before, disliking JA doesn’t mean we all have to disagree with everything she says or does. Most people with half a brain can realize that humans are complex creatures, neither entirely good nor bad. I’ll leave it there.

      • Emma - the JP Lover says:

        @Nerd Alert, who wrote: “You don’t have to be sorry, but you could stop trolling us all. I read Nancy’s book, did you? It read like a mother who was very bitter about being a mother … Also, I don’t give a rat’s @ss about Demi, I rarely click on her stories. Not wanting to be a mother is only one of her problems, and I’m not interested in them.”

        My response, this time, was about Demi Moore, not Jen-Jen.

        You don’t “give a rat’s @ss about Demi?” Then how in the world could you make such a blatant statement about the woman, as if it were fact?

        Those of us who were adults when the three Willis girls were born remember how very much Demi enjoyed being pregnant and being a mother.

        Oh, and if responding to such comments is considered ‘trolling,’ then so be it.

        @Nerd Alert again, who wrote: “Like I said before, disliking JA doesn’t mean we all have to disagree with everything she says or does.”

        No it doesn’t, but it also doesn’t mean she should be a blank slate upon which young girls and women project their own angst of boyfriends leaving and being the average girl-next-door … there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with being the girl-next-door, but it seems many people defending Aniston do so because they identify with something perceive in her life–usually Rachel Greene’s life.

  27. StormsMama says:

    She has endless money. I wish she’d set up a fund for her moms med bills and have her business manager deal with it and be done with it.
    I believe in my heart if she had a child of her own she might change her perspective on her own mom and have some humility and gratitude.
    She has said in the past that her mom made comments like’ ” you’ll never be beautiful” and stuff about her Greek ass etc. but if Jen could see that her mother was a product of her own shortcomings she could forgive her.
    Not saying she needs to invite her to wedding.
    It’s telling to me that brad- a good ole Midwest boy whose parents are still married- went from one priveleged daughter who hates her mom and doesn’t want kids to another priveleged daughter who LOVES her mom and wanted a child army. It’s a fundamentally difft approach to living ones life. Brad has said having kids takes the focus off himself. Exactly. Jen likes focussing on herself.

    Btw I love her on friends so I’m only throwing shade re: her inability to forgive her mom and pay the bills. IMO not paying the bills is borderline evil.

    • coolio says:

      @stormsmama You dont have to have kids to have a big heart. Im not a fan but jen is not obligated to pay medical bills god knows if nancy tried to bank of her success, I wonder what happened in the home

      • Trek Girl says:

        Yeah, I don’t agree at all with this “She’s the daughter so she should pay her mom’s bills” way of thinking.

        She has no obligation to pay those bills or invite her to important events in her life. Parents don’t get to treat their children badly, if that is the case here, and still get treated as if they didn’t do anything wrong. There is only so much leeway a parent or any family member gets before they get cut off from whomever they mistreated.

        Some people may pay no matter what the parent or family member put them through, but that doesn’t mean other people have to. They deemed the relationship toxic and they cut it off, and that’s their right.

    • Emily C. says:

      Not wanting kids does not mean someone is selfish and focused on themselves. Having lots of kids does not mean someone’s unselfish. It’s not a moral decision. If you want kids, you want kids. If you don’t want kids, you don’t want kids. There should not be any moral judgment about that basic decision. The worst thing is having kids when you don’t want them completely and totally.

      Also, lots of parents are crap. Someone shouldn’t feel obligated to have a relationship with someone who consistently hurts them.

      • StormsMama says:

        Oh I agree. I wasn’t suggesting people who don’t have kids are selfish. I totally do not feel that way. Actually I really meant specifically to her and her situation. I just believe she’s holding a grudge. And maybe she is justified. But I just think based on really early interviews her issue with her mother was that her mother was hyper critical of her appearance and said she couldn’t be an actress’ bc she wasn’t pretty enough. Scarring shit for sure.
        My point was basically that she has SO MUCH MONEY and sometimes in life family needs us more than we need them. And the bigger thing might be to set up a fund solely for her med bills.
        Look I am a huge Drew fan and I get the mom from hell thing. Drews mom posed in playboy after drew and it was just awful. Cringe inducing.
        Some parents are awful. Look at the Lohans.
        So yes my opinion is just based on my gut feelings a out Anniston.
        I like her as Rachel. I loved her in She’s the One.
        It’s based solely on my perception of her issues and her past with brad etc.
        she has the money and it would show her compassion and ability to forgive.
        But she wouldn’t be the first the deny a parent.
        Anyway- again I def was not suggesting all people who have kids are somehow better than all those who don’t. And I don’t think having kids or not having kids makes you selfish or selfless.
        In jens case however I think her issues with her mom have colored her views on having kids and being a mom.

        Anyway whatever. Who knows. I certainly don’t have the answers!

  28. Jayna says:

    I have quite a few friends who have cold, difficult, needy but overly critical mothers and very strained relationships to the point they only see them when they have to, like a perfunctory call or visit because it’s been a very long time. These are all nice girls and the stories they tell me make me sad for them. My mother wasn’t perfect, never showered me with praise nonstop or anything, but would do anything for us. She and dad would drive across the country for us if we were sick. But she would sit on the phone with me for an hour and talk about my cold and how bad I feel and what I should take. As an adult, I still loved her overly concern for all things minute, that no one else even wants to hear about, much less me whine about. I even miss her critical comments that my hair looks wrong or why did I wear that dress. I once gave her a Cathy comic strip and said, this is us. It was Cathy’s mom bit by bit criticizing her over her hair, clothes, no boyfriend, whatever and showed Cathy shrinking smaller and smaller to the ground. Then once she hit rock bottom, Cathy’s mom smiled and said, now it’s my job to build you back up. LOL And I basked in her praise when I got it right and she would love an ensemble. Because no matter what, it was her focus on me, and now it’s gone, no mother to obssess over what I’m doing right, wrong, and to worry about me like only a mother can do. Too bad Jen can’t find some type of relationship with her mom, because once she’s gone, it’s final. There’s no more time to try do that.

    • Trek Girl says:

      Aniston doesn’t have to exert herself to patch together a relationship with the person who crossed boundaries, if that is what happened here. It sounds like your great relationship with your mom is making it hard to see how difficult and toxic a bad parent can be.

      If one person (the one who was mostly wronged) is working to make the relationship better, and the other person (the one who did the majority of the damage) hasn’t changed a bit other than getting older, then nothing is ever going to get better. The wronged person will just be a doormat. Nobody has to be a doormat, no matter how close the person walking all over them is to death.

  29. Emily C. says:

    One of the reasons I got married at City Hall with no one there but me and my husband was to keep my parents out of it. If I could have, I’d have invited my mom and stepmom — but that wouldn’t have been accepted unless they brought their husbands along. It was a day about me and my husband, and either my father or my mom’s husband would have made it all about them in the most upsetting way possible.

    I don’t know Jennifer’s precise reasons for not wanting her mom at her wedding, but I completely empathize with her for it. There’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing.

  30. Fan says:

    She will find a way to postpone her wedding. It’s all publicity.

  31. Jade says:

    Look I don’t fancy Aniston and I wish she would just get married so that her revolving love life gossip will be one less thing to keep her “relevant and famous”. However I won’t shade any celeb for having a difficult relationship with family member(s). My 30 year old over siblings treat me like an ATM or backup plan, not a sibling and that makes me hurt. And they still continue hurting my parents in big and small ways. The parents who worked so hard to raise 4 children. So I understand why celebs with all their riches get very angry at being used for example for fame, but mostly for money of course. Regarding Aniston, I think she may be reluctantly funding her mother’s health matters simply because it’s a matter of life and death, but other than that maybe she has checked out from everything else.

  32. palermo says:

    I have never liked Jennifer Anniston. I think the goody two shoes thing is all an act. Shame on her for the way she has treated her mother, I don’t care what she did or didn’t do. You only get one and when she’s gone that’s the end.

    • Trek Girl says:

      Her mother only had one Jennifer; she should have treated her better if she wanted a relationship or someone to pay her medical bills, if that is really what’s going on here.

      I don’t know where so many people got the idea that a person has to be around, pay for, and include a parent in important events in their life no matter what the parent did. I don’t like Aniston either, by the way.
      If you treat your children like crap or cross over boundaries, especially in a public manner, the child doesn’t have to put up with that. They don’t have to pay for the parent, or do anything like that, if they don’t want to. Toxic people can be cut off, no matter how they are related to someone.

      • Nerd Alert says:

        +1 to Trek Girl

        This whole “you owe your parents your time, unconditional love and money even after a lifetime of maltreatment” schtick everyone is on is ludicrous!

      • Tulip Garden says:

        I wasn’t planning to post on this thread but I was reading thru all of it. I’ve just finished and I have to tell you that you have remained level-headed and consistent about what you have said. It is obvious to anyone that has critical thinking abilities and the ability to read that you are right on the money.
        I do find that despite your perfectly understandable and legitimate posts that some are still determined to bash. It’s disheartening b/c either these posters actually believe what they are posting or they are determined to belittle this woman over anything.
        Which is worse?

  33. Apple says:

    For anyone who has a good relationship with their parents. This story is horrendous and can’t understand it.

    But for those, like me who have parents who thrive on chaos and drama. Who were cruel and used their kids as emotional battering rams, it makes sense.

    Just because you are biologically related to someone doesn’t mean you can trust them or can handle them being in your space on an important day. For all we know they will have a quiet dinner with her and I don’t see it as punishment towards her mom. This is what she has to do to have a happy day she deserves.

    • ShakenNotStirred says:

      I totally agree. I remember reading an interview where Aniston said she asked her mother if she was pretty and all her mother could say was that her daughter was funny. Aniston’s mother also tried to profit from her daughter with that auto-biography she wrote. The woman sounds like a piece of work to me. She’s emotionally damaging. I don’t blame Aniston for not wanting her mom at her wedding.

  34. Ms.Martin says:


  35. Loira says:

    There are also those dettached children, those who are just happy living their own life, those that just surround themselved with friends.
    I have a brother like that. My mother loved him dearly, her only son. He caused her a lot of despair with his aloof ways. She was tto nice and would not dare to disrupt his life and demand a visit or expect him to call back. Same with us, his sisters. It gets tiring to give attention, visit and call and receive nothing back.
    I know that in some cases it is for the best to be apart. But being the only daugther? That is bad.
    It seems rather poor how they cannot speak even after more than 40 years.
    In my culture that situation is very uncommon, it seems that in the US you see more desintegrated families?

  36. TOPgirl says:

    Something bad will happen before they marry and then she’ll be single again. She doesn’t have a very steady love life at all.

  37. Jenn says:

    So is she inviting that crazy Victor Kiriakas from Days of Our Lives?

    I don’t speak, or see my father, haven’t for over 7 years. I have my reasons, and they’re good ones. I can’t fault Jennifer for doing the same.

  38. Original Me says:

    What exactly was in the book and interview that made JA so mad? I get that her mom didn’t praise her looks, but what else was there? It seemed like Nancy was just trying to dish dirt and make money of her daughter’s fame way back when, which is really awful. I think there must be more to the story here, and I wish we knew what it was.
    I can see how JA would be hurt, but I also believe that JA wanted super fame and money and didn’t want her mom tarnishing her image or getting in her way at all. I think JA would give up family for fame and money any day. That’s just what she projects. She’s all into her friends because she can choose who they are and take them on trips to Mexico, etc. She just seems cold and calculating to me.

  39. Anon says:

    Jennifer Aniston calling her own mother “cancer” spoke volumes. She doesn’t have to invite her mother to her weddings or even introduce her men to her mother, although there may be many reasons for that–not all Nancy’s problems.

  40. Liza Jane says:

    Well! I’ve read all this and though I can see the reasoning, I am sorry, still think JA is a self centred ,narcissistic woman, bad actress and only famous for being constantly in the news with her whining,her boyfriends( rather telling that she has never been able to keep a man) her fake pregnancies( and all the belly cupping etc in the tabloids!
    At the end of the day, she herself has no idea what being a mother entails, and no matter the perceptions of how Nancy behaved, she needs, in all areas of her life to get ‘over it’ she seems to wallow in “how unfair the world is to poor Jen” and it’s getting old and stale and irritating, as is her constant ‘sources’ telling us how she is suffering! Thousands of other people have unprivileged and sad lives, bad parents, tremendosly abusive experiences ,bad living conditions but many manage to rise above it, move on and become useful members of society!
    I see nothing but milking all the situations from JA’s camp! Shallowness at the least and almost a sick obsession at the worst! Sad people!

  41. kira says:

    I wonder if Aniston’s peeps drop this in the press for attention? I remember long time ago she did an interview and started boo-hooing about her mother on the tv. It seemed a bit fake but I guess it made her more relatable to people with similar parental conflicts. But when the reporter actually asked
    what her mother did, all she could say was her mother never validated her looks enough. If that is Nancy’s biggest crime, well….says a lot about both their priorities in life. Maybe, they are too much alike? In any case, this (manufactured?) “drama” earns her attention and she likes nothing better…either way, a win-win for her.