J.Lo gets skewered in new work of “fiction”

A new chick lit book whilch the author claims is based on celebrity in general, not Jennifer Lopez specifically, is so close to Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s story that it’s not fooling anyone. The author, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, has the arrogant J.Lo character cheat on Ben Affleck with Marc Anthony in a bid to boost her career:

“Make Him Look Good” is about a male Latin pop sensation, the international crossover star, Ricky Biscayne, who has rekindled his affair with Jill Sanchez. So what do we know about her?

She is engaged to “the boyishly handsome and patently non-Hispanic actor and screenwriter Jack Ingroff.” Formerly Sanchez dated “a mealy-mouthed” rapper named D-Kitty, until the night “some dudes in his crew” shot another rapper.

“The public seems to have forgotten all about how the gun was found stashed beneath her very own seat in the Escalade limo, or about how she’d worn a bandanna around her head like a gang member…”

Sanchez “in her own estimation, is the sexiest, cleanest woman alive.” She’s lifted her style of pairing innocence with lust, pretending to be “surprised by her own sexy gyrations,” from Britney Spears. Botox and belly lipo are her friends.

Sensitive Ingroff hopes that “some of Jill’s cruelty will rub off on him.” Sanchez has never learned the name of anyone who works for her. Her clothing line is the product of a team of designers who get no credit. In the recording studio, she’s vicious to the very producers who are digitally manufacturing her voice.

In fact, the only time Sanchez delivers an Oscar-worthy performance is when she’s pretending to be a professional singer “getting ready to lay down some kick-ass tracks.” As if.

Imperious, demanding and dismissive, Sanchez uses humiliation as a motivational tool on her staff. In meetings, no one is allowed to speak directly to her unless she first gives permission.

The lead character periodically puts her hands on her stomach during photocalls to drum up press speculation about her pregnancy status, and tries to train her husband to be more media-savvy and manipulative.

The author, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez admits that “There are some anecdotes in there based on experiences that I or people I knew had with Jennifer Lopez.” No kidding. She also claims that members of J.Lo’s staff approached her and told her that the book was dead-on.

That sounds really juicy and it’s sure to be a best seller!

Here’s her royal highness herself at Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People party yesterday.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

1 Response to “J.Lo gets skewered in new work of “fiction””

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Stephanie says:

    Everybody keeps talking about how this book is insulting to Jennifer Lopez, but what about Ben Affleck? That awful writer portrays him as a man addicted to transvestite prostitutes. I can’t be the only one who has heard that and thought, What the F*ck!