Triple Your Bondage with Daniel Craig

Its like 007 to the third power … Daniel Craig is double O twenty one and old enough to drink those shaken not stirreds.

But are there enough martinis to calm down beating hearts worldwide at the thought of an Oscars party populated with not one, but three Daniel Craigs. Ohhh Danny Boy …the pipes the pipes are calling.

It’s Bondage Galore. And Female First has the news on the Danny Craig triplet threeway.

Daniel Craig hired two body doubles to escape an over-zealous fan at the Oscars.

The handsome Bond star was nervous about an obsessed New Orleans woman turning up and harassing him so he enlisted the help of two look-a-likes to avoid any unwanted attention.

A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “Daniel was extremely well looked after and security was at an all-time high.

“Daniel has had one woman from New Orleans trail his whereabouts every time he is in America.

I’m sure Daniel is always very well looked after, he has the look of a man who was just looked after about five minutes before you met him and who looks forward to being looked after soon again.

Of course how he can be sure theres only one of his New Orleans stalkers – when there are now three of him. There could be endless body-double stalkers handcuffing themselves to endless Danile Craig clones. A sort of Handcuffs Across America — giving a steely manacled new emphasis to The Special Anglo American Friendship.

“She always pushes to get hold of him and threatened to handcuff herself to him should she get near him either at the awards or at the Vanity Fair after-show party. So two decoys who looked just like him were hired for extra protection.”

I’m not sure of the actual logic here … surely you’ve just increased her chances of being handcuffed to Daniel Craig or a very reasonable hand drawn facsimilie. She’s really got those George Bush odds …. born on third base believeing he hit a home run.

Daniel, 38, was seen enjoying champagne, beer and martinis with his girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell, 29, at the star-studded Vanity Fair party at Beverly Hills’ Mortons Restaurant.

Daniel is not the only British heartthrob to be plagued by obsessive fans.

Hugh Grant, 46, was promoting his latest movie ‘Music and Lyrics’ in Amsterdam last week when a fan handcuffed herself to Hugh. The actor had to be cut loose by fire-fighters.

It would be harder to find a bunch of Hugh Grant look alikes … floopy floppy hair and earnest dissembling are harder to imitate than steely glances and a well formed backside. The former takes hair extensions and charming mumbling the latter can be done by focusing on the awalls and a nice pair of male booty spanx.

For proof of how difficult the Grantesque hair flop is to pull off … look no further than John Travolta’s Oscars toupee. You couldnt handcuff L. Ron Hubbard to those mahogany antennae with a full battallion of Bonds at the ready. Well looked after Bonds.


pic via balding blog
And Original Art by UrbanDK

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8 Responses to “Triple Your Bondage with Daniel Craig”

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  1. Girlygrrl says:

    Did anyone else notice how stiff and cold he was toward Nicole Kidman when they presented at the Oscars together? He kind of treated her like the stalker he was trying to avoid 🙂

  2. UrbanDK says:

    MAybe she had those handcuffs hidden in her hideous Christmas wrapping neck bow

  3. Girlygrrl says:

    Or he was worried that some of his Bond gadgetry might cause a spark and the fire resulting from her head of straw hair would be the death of everyone in the Kodak theatre.

  4. UrbanDK says:

    He’s so rugged shee’s so smooth htey are like the JAck Sprat and his wife of facila expression

  5. Girlygrrl says:

    LMAO! Urban you crack me up!

  6. xiaoecho says:

    How do I email a post??

  7. celebitchy says:

    xiaecho I had to disable that feature when the site got popular and stopped running smoothly. It’s a plugin for WordPress and I was told by the webhosts to disable all extra plugins to keep the site stable. We are converting to a new platform and will have that feature along with a lot of other cool ones within about two months. I’m sorry that you can’t do it now.

  8. xiaoecho says:

    Thanx CB…I’ll do it when the new platform’s up 🙂