Lindsay Lohan parties in a swimsuit in Miami for Art Basel: cracked-out or cute?

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If you’ve been following Lindsay Lohan on Instagram or Twitter, you probably know that she’s in Miami right now, allegedly for Art Basel. Ha! She’s not there for Art Basel. She’s there for all of the A-list and B-list parties surrounding Art Basel. Tons of celebrities are in Miami right now too – Kim Kardashian, Yeezington, Leo DiCaprio & the Posse, Gerard Butler and more. God knows how the Cracken is paying for this life of leisure, but I strongly suspect that these swimsuit photos are Lindsay’s way of “advertising”. Are you a random sheik looking to blow some oil money? Are you an Asian tech entrepreneur in Miami to purchase some modern art? Well, you should give the Cracken a call. Her rates are negotiable.

Do you really want me to say something about her body? I can’t. Yes, she should be doing some squats but otherwise… she’s looking pretty good these days (for a Cracken). From what I can see of her face as well, she doesn’t look bloated or noticeably cracked-out.

Meanwhile, you know the Page Six story about Lindsay spending time with Liam Neeson’s 18-year-old son Michael? Well, Lohan ran to TMZ to set the record straight. This story is such old-school crackie, it makes me laugh:

Lindsay Lohan is practicing the safest kind of sex — NONE — because she’s too busy focusing on her career to worry about boys … sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ.

According to sources, Lindsay’s laughing off reports she’s hooking up with Liam Neeson’s 18-year-old son, Michael … claiming they’re only friends and have been for quite a while.

In fact, sources tell us, Lindsay hasn’t been dating ANY of the people she’s been reportedly seeing recently, including male models Morgan O’Connor (a friend of a friend) and Liam Dean (whom she met on a photo shoot).

Instead, we’re told Lohan is laser-focused on her sobriety and her career … plus, she’s spending at least 2-3 days a week shooting her docu-series for Oprah’s network.

[From TMZ]

For the love of God, Lindsay. Don’t you ever get tired of crack lying and crack hustling? Nobody’s buying it.

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Photos courtesy of Instagram, Fame/Flynet.

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54 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan parties in a swimsuit in Miami for Art Basel: cracked-out or cute?”

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  1. smee says:

    Wow – for a relatively young person, she seems to have lost all muscle tone. She really needs to exercise or it’s going to keep sliding south.

    That bathing suit is an abomination. The stupid straps and the panther print. She’s shopping at a really intense flea market these days.

    • Florc says:

      Bad diet, drugs, no physical activity. Just awful.

      And yea. that bathing suit reminds me of scarface for some reason. Bad, ott style.

      • Dubois says:

        Yup, she was fairly healthy when she came out of rehab. She appears to have lost weight here. Back on the coke/adderall? This doesn’t look like a body that’s seen any exercise.

      • Decloo says:

        Also, where did her boobs go?

    • CaribbeanLaura says:

      Man I actually thought the bathing suit had potential. It seems kinda interesting. I have no comment on how her body looks. Man you really don’t like the suit?? lol

    • Emil says:

      Not to sound like a Lindsay apologist, but I saw her in Soho about 2 months ago in person. Surprisingly, she looked much better in real life than she has in pictures as of late. I’d go as far as to say she looked pretty.

      • 28blue says:

        She has looked good recently. At the Art of Bullfighting gallery last night, she put herself lovely in a gold gown and shinned. http://www.justjared.com/photo-gallery/3006175/lindsay-lohan-art-of-bullfighting-art-basel-event-05/fullsize/

      • wiffie says:

        Wow, her face in that gold dress pic is actually like, kinda beautiful! She is looking better these days. I had several years where I was skinny-fat to. Sucks. Just need exercise though. and that suit? Gahhh. No.

      • girliegirl says:

        Thanks for not being awful like most people on here. I saw her in person in Miami the other night, at a party. She wasn’t drinking or acting strange, she was hanging with her friends and she looked stunning in person, and quite healthy. I would still say it’s a shame about her face, she didn’t need to tamper with it. But otherwise, I think she is on the mend, and I wish her well.

        Also after seeing her in person I realized why she has gotten so many second chances. She really exudes something… There’s a presence, but also a sweetness of a kind. So for all of you who are mean and nasty saying shit about her, lay off and go exercise your own asses. She was a child star, with awful parents and hollywood has eaten and spit out many, many like her. I hope she overcomes her addictions and succeeds to prove you all wrong.

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        @girliegirl
        That doesn’t change the fact that she’s an asshole, with no regard for anyone but herself. Think back and remember all the times that she’s stole things from friends, from strangers (I remember a story covered on this site–she stole a vintage mink coat from a CHARITY DINNER, from a different patron. It was the other girl’s grandmother’s coat that she wore to a charity dinner, and being that it was all rich people–she put the coat in the coat check. And Lindsey took it, and started wearing it around–the girl saw a picture of her in the coat in a tabloid), disregarded her professional duties i.e her behavior on the set of ‘Glee’, and so on.

        She’s never apologized for any of that. So she may seem nice and sweet NOW (and it’s fine to hope that she gets better), but that’s how a lot of assholes are. They can turn on the charm whenever they want. And turn it off just as easily. Drugs/alcohol don’t make Lindsey an asshole, Lindsey does that all by herself.

    • Decloo says:

      That bathing suit is just awful and doesn’t do much for her pancake ass.

    • I Want To Live In New York says:

      What is the print on the suit? Glasses?

  2. eliza says:

    She has the body of a thin woman in her mid 50′s who does no exercise.

    Why does anyone even care what this washed up nut case is up to anymore? Even her antics are no longer interesting.

    Love to know how she affords trips and shopping being an out of work unemployable awful actress.

    • Erinn says:

      Her body freaks me out a little. I’m by no means in shape – but even at my heaviest I’ve had way more muscle tone than she does.

    • Byte Me says:

      Lindsay has Oprah money now.

    • 28blue says:

      No one here ever take into account the royalities she has earned for her career, or that she gets modeling gigs or cover shoots for mags. This whole she’s dead broke business is way overboard.

  3. KromBoom says:

    I love all the little open-jawed panthers! I’d make a joke about her having “some little mouths to feed” but talking about Lindsay + children scares me.

    • Decloo says:

      Couldn’t figure out what you were referring to at first. I honestly though the bathing suit design was of highball cocktail glasses with maraschino cherries in them (how appropriate).

  4. Belle Epoch says:

    She has so much mileage on her that her posture and gestures make her look 50 years old. Is she just standing there while the paps take a zillion photos? The “advertising” idea sounds right, and is really disturbing.

  5. Patricia says:

    Orange, so orange!! Her Instagram makes her look like she WANTS you to think she’s on crack.

    • mollie says:

      Muddy Orange. Ick. Scrub it off. Pale skin in a beautiful, simple suit would be so pretty. She looks dirty.

  6. doofus says:

    she looks like she’s had her implants removed?…she’s looking much less busty in these pics.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      I think her bust is just heading south, and the suit disguises that fact. They’re no smaller; they’re just…lower.

  7. GiGi says:

    Yeah. She’s not there for the parties. Rubbing elbows will get her nowhere. She’s there to *escort*. Working girls in Miami make a lot of money, especially during big events like Art Basel and especially if you’re LaLohan.

    • littlestar says:

      It’s really sad. To go from making 7-10 million a movie, to having to prostitute herself to keep up the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to. I honestly wonder if she ever thinks about how her life used to be and what potential she had and the places she could have gone, instead of being of being the drugged up, washed out loser she is now.

      • GiGi says:

        She probably thinks about it all the time. I know sadness and regret fuels a lot of addiction. It really is tragic, even though her downfall has been by her own doing.

      • Happyhat says:

        Yeah – she probably does think about that all the time, which probably makes her even more depressed, and furthers her addiction further.

        Basically what GiGi said…

      • Bess says:

        The really sad part is that a chunk of the escort money goes to her lazy, unemployed mother.

      • Bread and Circuses says:

        Maybe in the past few years, when the financial situation really started to get rocky.

        But before that? No. She was SUCH an jackhole, and SO entitled and greedy. She lied all the time, she stole things all the time, she assaulted people and had tantrums and partied ceaselessly.

        Whenever I’m inclined to feel a bit bad for Lindsay, I remember that she carjacked a minivan with three people in it, and went roaring down a highway at stupid speeds while drunk and high out of her mind, because she was–in a state of rage–trying to chase down an assistant who had just quit, when in fact it was the assistant’s mom she was terrorizing.

        She made a wreck of her life, and I hope she gets clean and finds a way to live well, but I don’t think someone that horrible wastes much of her time feeling regretful.

  8. Suze says:

    Gawd. My bar must be set so low for her because my initial reaction was that she looked good.

  9. Katiekat says:

    … She’s lost a lot of weight, again.

  10. Chelsey says:

    I feel like there is only ever one answer to this question…

    It’s “cracked out.” The answer is always “cracked out.” YWIA.

  11. lovegossip says:

    She looks very orange. And that swimming suit? While I’ve seen worse, I think I would be swearing and cussing by the time I figured out how to get all those strings straight. Lol ;-)

  12. quinn says:

    Blech…she just always looks FILTHY to me- like she smells of dirty hair and smoke. She is just nasty.

  13. Jacqueline says:

    For someone who owned a self-tanner company, she sure doesn’t know how to use the stuff!
    Her hands gross me out. They always look so grimy.

    • Jackson says:

      Totally agree! I don’t recall seeing any other celeb consistently have such bad self-tanner marks all over themselves. Her hand and elbow are so white compared to her forearm in that top picture. I don’t know how she can keep putting that stuff on so terribly.

  14. Sugar says:

    When I saw this story this morning I thought back to the days-the good ol days of LILO crack-watch. She’d have most of us hitting the cracktinis pretty early because of all things she has done that to my amazement have lead her to at least still be alive.
    The suit… only a swiss cheese hole brain of a 27 yr old who thinks she’s some ” it girl” would be caught dead standing up holding a cig & checking her phone wear that!

  15. Bess says:

    While I don’t care for the bathing suit or the spray tan, the Cracken looks okay in these photos.

    I agree that she’s advertising her services with these photos. Sad.

  16. Virgilia Coriolanus says:

    Her skin looks awful! If I was her, I’d be dousing myself in honey and olive oil…..and exfoliating.

  17. 28blue says:

    Sad for you commenters. How does anyone here know she is an escort? No evidence but just the same old virtol this girl get on a daily basis. Energy wasted on shading someone who don’t read you soapbox of the day.

    • Kiddo says:

      I feel sorry for her. Not that she’s a great person, but I’m not sure she is as terrible as comments made about her. Many are much more vicious on other sites. I hope she cleans up her act and stays sober.

    • littlestar says:

      There’s plenty of evidence she’s a prostitute. Example: The article that slammed her while she was working on the Canyons (the New Yorker? the Hollywood Reporter? don’t remember which one…). The reporter himself saw Lindsay meeting an old man who was waiting for her with presents in the dining room of a hotel. And then there’s that shady Vikram character that she is constantly seen with. It’s very sad. I know I should have no empathy for her as she is a user/loser, but I just cannot imagine having to do something like that to have to support my life. She needs to start reflecting on herself and realize that maybe she doesn’t need to live that crazy party lifestyle anymore…..

      • 28blue says:

        The Vikram guy is sketchy, but if they were an item or had an arrangement there would be compromising evidence from his family members or associates. Instead of heresy and speculation by gossip mongers already assuming she’s’ desperate for wealth. Wouldn’t her lawyer or probation officer make note of this? As far the article with the old man, it could have been a business associate for all we know. Lindsay has ties with a lot of business ties such as Mr. Pink beverages or Sheeraz Hasan, who is a brand maker in the Middle East, Asia, and South America. He was the one that got her the John John denim promotion several months ago in Brazil for a six figure deal.

  18. Bread and Circuses says:

    The bathing suit is okay. It does a good job of making her very flat bum look rather cute.

    It is not disguising the fact that something odd is happening on her back, however. She bells out in the region of her lower ribcage. Is it just that the swimsuit is super-Spanx strong, and everything inside the black fabric is squooshed in, so that everything above the fabric looks puffy in comparison?

    Her face looks nice. She has lost the alcohol-bloat.

  19. MsLDG says:

    Oh my god, only now do I see that it’s a panther print on her togs. I thought it was Krumm from that Nickelodeon show, Real Monsters.

  20. Caroline says:

    She’s very orange, and her boobs are droopy.

  21. skeptical says:

    who are these commenters actually defending the cracken? do we need to pull up her rap sheet again? She has EARNED the vitriol and the snarking. She has never shone one moment of repentance for any of the things she’s done to innocents (carjacking, kidnapping, repeatedly driving while drunk/high/whatever, stealing the clothes and jewelry and coats of others and then wearing the stolen items in public!)
    She outright said that her probation at the downtown women’s center was UNFULFILLING as if probation was supposed to amuse her and sooth her ego! The Judge noticed that!
    As far as that Just Jared pic someone posted above.. it’s an official event/red carpet pic. I’m always suspicious of airbrushing on official pics.

    I don’t think she regrets anything. I think she thinks the world is wrong to not recognize her greatness.

  22. Lauraq says:

    Sooo while she was being an f-wad everyone was all ‘I hope she’ll get better, but she never will. But I hope she does.’ And now that she’s at least acting like she’s better everyone is…just assuming she’s hiding it really well?
    She looks healthy. There aren’t a ton of stories about her getting plastered. Maybe she actually IS getting better. And y’all are hoping that’s not true. Kind of sad for you.
    I’ll agree that she’s an asshole and has done terrible things that she should be called to task for. But you guys wishing harm and bad things are kind of awful too.